20. Dillan
20
DILLAN
E arlier that day
When I get the call from the hospital that a patient needs help, I don’t hesitate to take it. I don’t know Dr. Daisy Anderson personally, but we’ve crossed paths at the hospital a few times. From what I’ve observed, she displays exceptional skill and knowledge in her field. Despite our limited interactions, I’ve entertained the idea of extending her an offer at my practice. Strengthening our professional relationship through this favor could potentially pave the way for such discussions.
As for the patient in need, all I know is that they’ve gone into labor earlier than expected, and Dr. Anderson isn’t available.
It isn’t until I’m at the nurses’ station, scrubbed up and ready to go, that I finally learn the patient’s name.
Elizabeth Moore.
My Lizzie.
The first thing I feel is joy. After all those months of wondering and thinking about her, I’m finally going to see her again. God, I’ve missed her. What a coincidence. But then the reality of the situation crashes over me, and I have to stop myself from becoming too excited.
Because the truth of the matter is, my Lizzie is having a baby.
Which means she has found someone else.
I don’t like the thought—it stings for sure.
At least it explains why she never called. She must have been with a man just before she met me, or shortly thereafter. I don’t have time to dwell on the thought, however. I have a job to do. A patient’s well-being is my priority, and I can’t afford to let personal emotions interfere with my professional duties.
Her labor has to be handled delicately since it has started earlier than anticipated. My focus needs to be on the baby.
I direct my attention back to her chart where Dr. Anderson had just added notes that morning. Everything seems fine, which is a good sign. While she’s early, the baby is in position and at least developed enough to be able to survive outside the womb. My concern is making sure the delivery goes smoothly and both come out the other end of it safe and sound.
Taking a few seconds to collect myself, I push my feelings for her aside and enter the room as the professional I am.
The sight of Lizzie, pregnant, hits me harder than I anticipated—it’s a visceral punch straight to the gut. Her hair is up in a haphazard bun and her cheeks are red from the pain. Yet, she’s never looked more beautiful. The shock mirrored in her eyes reflects the same astonishment I felt learning her name. Not that I blame her. Neither of us really expected to see the other again. And definitely not under such circumstances.
After we say our hellos, I check to see how far along she is. It turns out that I got here just in the nick of time. She’s in transition, which means she’ll be able to push any moment.
“Are you sure you don’t want anything for the pain?” I ask as the nurses come to stand around us. “It’s too late for an epidural, but we can get you a shot of something to take the edge off.”
“Nah, I made it this far.” Lizzie waves a tired hand. “Might as well go the distance.”
Smiling behind my face mask, I admire her determination just like I always have. “All right then, here we go. On the count of three, I want you to push.”
My training takes over at that point. I can tell she’s having a hard time remembering to breathe, so I motion for one of the nurses to give her oxygen.
The delivery itself takes a solid forty-five minutes. Lizzie does a good job, pushing when she can and resting when I tell her to. Pippa wipes her friend’s head with a cold washcloth, coaxing her through the pain as only a true best friend can. Seeing Pippa with Lizzie instead of the baby’s father doesn’t register to me until everything is all said and done. I keep waiting for him to burst through the door and join them, but he never does. Nor does she mention or ask for anyone during the rest of her labor.
All in all, the delivery goes smoothly. While the baby is just under six pounds, he doesn’t seem to have any trouble breathing on his own.
She names him Isaac, which I kind of like. It’s a good solid name and seems to fit him. He doesn’t cry right away. Only makes a few whimpers of protests before he’s swaddled against his mother’s chest, skin to skin. I shift my focus away from them to take care of everything else before my job is officially done.
The nurses hover until it’s clear that Isaac won’t need any assistance. Then they go about cleaning up and getting her recovery room ready. Pippa steps away to make a phone call, but as she heads out the door, she pauses to glance back at me.
“Thank you,” she says. “For making sure they both got through this safe.”
“I didn’t do much, that was all them,” I tell her.
“Still. Thanks…” She looks like she wants to say something else but just shakes her head and leaves.
I shrug off her strangeness toward me. She’s Lizzie’s friend, and I assume she knows what went down between us. That is bound to provide some kind of awkwardness, given the current situation.
As I remove my gloves and toss them in the bin, I watch Lizzie gazing lovingly at her son. It’s a beautiful sight. Her hair is still pulled back, but several strands have fallen loose to frame her face. She’s absolutely glowing, a look of pure love and devotion in her eyes. Normally, I make myself scarce after births to give the new parents time with their child. But since Pippa has stepped away and the nurses are busy, that leaves Lizzie alone, and I want to stay by her side until Pippa returns. Also, I have no other urgent appointments or a delivery to rush to, at least not for now.
“So,” I say, causing her to look in my direction. “What do you think?”
Lizzie smiles at me. “I think he’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life.” She strokes the baby’s dark hair. “And I stand by my earlier statement. The way humans give birth is a terrible way to maintain the species, and we should really do something about that.”
I chuckle and come to stand by her bed, taking care to remove my face mask. “You’re not the first woman to say that, and I’m sure you won’t be the last.”
“Do you want to hold him?”
The question takes me by surprise.
None of my patients ever really ask me to hold their child, at least not immediately after delivery. Then again, I never have any history with them. I give her a small smile and raise my hand to decline. I’m not holding another man’s baby.
“I’m good. You enjoy him. He’s yours after all.”
There’s a flicker of something in her eyes that goes by too quickly for me to identify. She looks back down and smiles at Isaac. “Yeah. All mine.” After a few seconds of silence, she glances at me again. “It’s definitely not the right time, but we should talk. About…you know…” She gestures between us.
I raise an eyebrow.
Clearly, she has moved on with somebody else. She really doesn’t owe me any kind of talk or explanation.
“The past is the past, Lizzie,” I say. “Besides, it seems to have all worked out.”
She frowns. “What do you mean?”
Before I can answer, Nurse Ronnie comes in with her usual bright smile and Pippa trailing behind. “We have your recovery room good to go, Mom,” she says as she pushes a wheelchair over to the side of the bed. “Your friend here is ready to take you. Would you be okay if I weighed this little guy and gave him his first bath?”
I can see the panic in Lizzie’s eyes, and her arms tighten around Isaac. “I can keep an eye on him,” I offer before I can stop myself. It’s usually something new fathers do, but since I don’t see one around, I decide to step in.
She immediately relaxes and gives me a soft smile. “Thank you, Doc,” she says as she hands the baby off to the nurse.
I trail Ronnie out of the delivery room to the area where they bathe and clothe the newborns. The steady presence of the head nurse indicates that there have been more unplanned births than usual. In moments like these, having a dependable staff to rely on proves to be invaluable.
“He’s a pretty handsome fella, isn’t he, Dr. Maxwell?” she asks as she carefully goes about taking care of him.
“Yeah, he’s cute. And I’m not just saying that.” He might be the cutest baby I’ve seen, but I don’t say that. I’m probably biased.
“I’m sure his father is a looker too,” Ronnie adds.
“I’m surprised the father isn’t here.”
“Right? What kind of guy would miss the birth of his son?” Ronnie glances around to make sure we aren’t being overheard. “Well, from what I’ve gathered, it seems like the dad might not be in the picture.”
“What makes you say that?” I ask as casually as possible.
Ronnie shrugs. “She hasn’t mentioned him once. Actually, until I heard her friend on the phone, I thought the two of them might be together. But seems not.”
It’s hard to identify the emotion that washes over me. For one, a selfish part of me is elated that Lizzie is still single. But that feeling quickly gives way to anger at the thought of whoever Isaac’s father is having abandoned them both. Bastard. It’s an appalling thing to do, and if that’s truly the case, I hope he burns in Hell—for eternity. Who would walk out on somebody like her? Only a complete moron. Well, good riddance.
As I stare at Isaac, I can’t help but notice which of Lizzie’s features are prominent. He definitely has her nose. I even think his small ears share a similar shape to hers. But where do his other features come from? Who is his father, and why has he left Lizzie to raise the kid on her own?
It’s none of your business, Dillan , I tell myself, purposefully trying to detach from the situation. Keep it in your pants . The woman just had a baby. It’s been months since the two of you had your fling. She has enough on her plate without you inserting yourself into the picture.
Even as the words enter my mind, I know it won’t be that simple. Because the truth of the matter is, I’d fallen hard for Lizzie that night and it won’t be easy to just move on and forget about her. Hell, I’ve tried over the better part of a year and the feelings are just as strong as ever.
O nce Isaac is clean and bundled up, I roll his cradle to Lizzie’s room. Her eyes light up when she sees us, arms immediately reaching out for her son. Carefully, I slide my hands under his tiny body to lift him up.
“Five pounds, fifteen ounces. A little one but strong,” I tell her as I place him in her arms. “He’s breathing fine and cried a few times when being washed. He’s perfect, Lizzie.”
“Thanks, Dillan.” Her face is still glowing, and she radiates such love and warmth, it’s hard not to be drawn in. “Not just for staying with him but for stepping in when Dr. Anderson couldn’t. You made the delivery a little less scary.”
“Glad I could help.” I want to stay. For some reason, I can’t bring myself to leave. I rarely stick around after deliveries, and yet, I don’t want to be anywhere else.
As she holds the baby close, I watch her pull down her gown, exposing her larger breasts as she prepares to nurse for the first time. Redirecting my attention, I look around and notice she’s alone. “Where’s Pippa?”
“She stepped away to get herself something to eat.”
“So, you’re here all alone?”
Lizzie shrugs, staring down at the baby. “It’s fine. I’m used to it.”
Pulling a chair over, I sit by her side. “You don’t have to be. I can wait with you until she comes back.”
Lizzie smiles. “You really don’t have to do that.”
“I know,” I mutter. “I want to.”
“Still. It’s really late. I’m sure you’re exhausted.”
“If you don’t want me to stay, I can go.” I make a move to stand up.
“No, please stay,” she says quickly, reaching one hand out to grab my arm. “You being here comforts me.”
So, I stay.
I want to ask her about that night, want to finally get the answers, but I’m not stupid enough to put her on the spot when she just had a baby. I can see it in her eyes that she’s thoroughly exhausted. After nursing Isaac for the first time, her eyelids begin to droop.
“Here, get some rest,” I say, taking the baby from her. “Your body has been through a lot, and you’re going to be tired for the foreseeable future. Might as well get as much sleep as you can.”
“Will you still be here when I wake up?”
I try to ignore how soft and hopeful her voice sounds. I almost tell her yes. I want nothing more than to stay by her side.
But it would only delay the inevitable. Also, I have a schedule to keep.
“Probably not,” I say. “I have a scheduled C-Section in the morning and need to get some semblance of sleep before then.”
“Oh.” The disappointment in her voice is too much for me to bear.
“But I can stop by after to check on you two. If you want.”
Her smile returns. “I’d like that a lot.”
It doesn’t take her long to doze off after that. It isn’t until she’s lightly snoring that I realize I’m still holding Isaac. He’s tucked into the crook of my arm, content as can be. I look down at him, getting to my feet so I can rock him from side to side.
Damn, he’s cute.
For a second, I allow myself to wish he was mine.
How it would be if I’m holding my own baby.
Our baby.
“Listen here, kid,” I say in a low voice. “You have no idea how lucky you are to have a mom like Lizzie. I want you to be good for her, okay?”
He yawns. Geez, thanks.
After a few seconds, his eyes slowly slide shut. I smile, oddly attached to him and not wanting to put him down. Of course, as soon as that thought crosses my mind, I make a point to tuck him into his crib. It’s hard enough being attached to Lizzie. If I get attached to her kid, I won’t be able to break away from either of them.
O n the way out, I nearly collide with Pippa, prompting a startled gasp from her.
“Sorry, Pippa. Didn’t see you there.”
“No harm done. Wait, Dillan…” she says, stopping me. “Lizzie filled me in on the situation. It’s...yeah, crazy. I just wanted to say I know it’s a tough situation, but you handled it like a pro.”
“Just doing my job, Pippa.” I glance back at Lizzie over my shoulder. “Take care of them, okay?”
She nods slowly, her gaze fixed on me. “I will…”
Again, I feel like there’s something else Pippa wants to say but doesn’t. I’m not sure what it could possibly be, nor do I care. Likely something about that father. The less I hear about the son of a bitch who must have caused her so much pain, the better.
All that matters is Lizzie is safe, and her baby is healthy.
The exhaustion from the day settles in my bones, and I head to the changing room to get out of my scrubs so I can go home and get some sleep.