Chapter Eight
Eight
IMPULSIVE
“HAVE YOU EVER heard Pachelbel’s Canon in D played live with a full orchestra?” Phillipe asks me later that night as we walk into the studio.
“No, I haven’t heard any orchestral pieces live. Isn’t that one of the songs people play for the wedding march?”
Looking at me over his shoulder, he moves toward the stereo system on the shelves. He tells me with the barest hint of humor, “I don’t know, Gemma. I’ve never walked down an aisle.”
I shake my head at him with a smirk. “You know what I mean.”
“Well, when put that way, then yes, I suppose it is the song that a lot of brides walk down the aisle to.”
After pressing a button, he turns back to make his way toward me as the deep bass starts. I keep my eyes locked with his as he crosses the space to stop before me, holding out his hand like a gentleman from a forgotten era. Curious about his mood, I go with it.
I slide my hand into the palm that so expertly touched me this afternoon, and I gasp when he tugs me in close to assume the waltz position.
Looking up into his blazing green eyes, I have to admit that I can quite easily understand Chantel’s quick fall into love, although she would never have seen those eyes.
Before I have too long to consider that, he slowly starts to waltz me around his studio. Holding on tight, I can’t help but smile. It feels wonderful to have a moment of such simplicity when things here have been so intense and so confusing. This feels simple.
Two people dancing. Two people enjoying a moment. Until that moment is gone.
“This piece was originally scored for three violins and a basso continuo. Listen…” He pauses in his explanation as he moves me effortlessly around his studio.
My mind spins with each expertly executed turn.
“All three instruments work together in breathtaking synchronicity, Gemma. The fourth is there just to keep them in order because three of anything is bound to get messy.”
I can feel my breath picking up as his meaning takes root, and I’m left wondering, What is he getting at? He’s always playing such head games with me.
Twirling me away from him, I stare at our joined hands then bring up my eyes to meet his, which are now focused on me with absolute intensity. He tugs me back to him, and I go because the music is still floating through the air. It seems this waltz isn’t over, not by a long shot.
“They feed off one another,” he tells me as he brushes a kiss against my head. “They’re each so flawless in their transitions that you start to believe they’re all one and the same.”
He stops talking as the music swells, and I close my eyes as I’m pulled under.
I’m swept away by the beauty of the piece and again by the seduction that is Phillipe.
His arms, strong and solid, wrap around me as I allow myself to really let go.
I feel as though he’s given me permission in some way, like he’s telling me that what I’m feeling is okay—even when I know that it’s not.
How can I be so fascinated with him and at the same time so captivated by her?
This is a question I have no answer for as the music softens and his lips move to my ear.
“That’s right, Gemma. Close your eyes. To really feel the music, you have to listen…blindly.”
That’s when it hits me. The complete picture unfolds. The moment of joy he’s feeling plus the confusion I’m experiencing all mixes together to equal the total mindfuck I’m having.
“This is her playing, isn’t it?” I ask, stiffening in his arms.
“Yes, she recorded it for me after I saw her play it one night.”
He holds me tight, refusing to let me go. As the music rises once again, he spins me away.
“Why are you sharing this with me now?” I demand.
I’m more annoyed than I probably should be, but all I can think about is the fact that she’s here again. She’s always here.
“Because, Gemma, this is us,” he explains in a voice that’s now become somewhat detached. “We are three. Can’t you see that? Just like any moment of beauty, we’re all working in synchronicity to find that elusive moment, like that moment you and I found out in the vineyard…with her.”
Finally, the music stops, and I’m staring up into a face that seems oddly serene, almost as though he’s made some calming realization, just as I’m having a majorly fucked-up one.
“No, I can’t see that, Phillipe,” I snap as I step back.
I’m trying to disentangle myself from the web he’s once again drawn me into. I’m also silently berating myself. Although I’m outwardly telling him no, knowing he’s delusional, I realize deep down that he’s right. I’m just as entangled with Chantel as I am with him.
“Okay, Gemma.” His voice breaks through the tense silence, sounding defeated. “Have it your way.”
I’m standing only a couple of steps away from him, but as he moves forward, I cross my arms over my chest like a shield.
“Do you want to pose this afternoon and continue with your questions?” He reaches out, touching my cheek gently. “Or do you want to leave?”
My eyes land on his full, sensual lips. I’m reminded of this afternoon and the way his mouth moved over my skin. I find myself wanting to reach out and touch that mouth. He must sense a change in me, because one corner of those incorrigible lips tilts up.
“Undress for me.”
God help me, I do.
Impulsive ~
I asked Phillipe to come and watch me tonight.
When my mother first mentioned I should stay with Uncle Beau, my first thought had been, Where would I get to play? I didn’t want to be anywhere I couldn’t play my music.
Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy losing myself when I’m on my own, but there’s simply no better feeling than playing at the front of a full-scale orchestra.
It’s hard to explain, but imagine you’re in a smooth body of water as you effortlessly swim along.
You’re just rising with each movement and then flowing back down.
Now, add a stormy ocean, and as each loud and powerful wave hits you, it pushes you up, higher and higher toward the sky, before crashing you back down into the turbulent ocean.
You might be scared and terrified, but you love feeling the exhilaration and power of that ocean along with the sheer force and beauty of it.
That’s how I like to think playing in front of a full orchestra feels, like one big, powerful wave that crashes down over you.
I used to play as a guest performer with the local orchestra back home. I told my mother that before I would even consider moving here, we would need to find one close by, and we did.
Tonight, Phillipe is coming to watch me.
Gemma surprises Phillipe when she silently walks to the drop cloth and removes her clothes.
After the way she pulled away from him, he was positive that she would tuck tail and run. Instead, she is now sitting in pose, nude, with her back to him and the blindfold firmly in place. Probably cursing my name.
He doesn’t understand why every move forward they take feels as though it’s somehow enhanced by the memory of Chantel.
When he originally went into this bargain with Gemma, he did it with the expectation that she would understand Chantel better, and as their story unraveled, she would get to see a side of him he found so difficult to show.
He did not count on the intense feeling of connection to Chantel through Gemma. Perhaps it is Gemma herself?
Maybe if she didn’t seem so bewitched and curious about Chantel, he wouldn’t feel this way. Maybe if Gemma just asked him questions in a perfunctory manner, he wouldn’t be feeling this aberrant entanglement of desire that he can’t seem to shake.
As he looks over to the woman seated on the floor, he remembers the way she came with such force. He can still feel the sweet, tight squeeze of her pussy. He knows he isn’t the only one baffled by this strange connection that they seem to share.
“You’re very quiet,” he states.
“I’m trying to decide what I want to ask you today.”
“Ah, I see. I thought you might be sitting over there plotting a way to leave my evil clutches.”
When she turns her head to face him over her shoulder, he glances at her over the top of the easel.
Her eyes are covered, but he can almost guess that they are narrowed on him.
Phillipe has to admit that he enjoys the slight annoyance he can sense in her posture.
It’s almost a shame this isn’t a frontal pose.
“Who said anything about leaving?”
“No one. I see there’s no answer about my evil clutches, though, hmm?”
She harrumphs softly, but he hears it as she turns back to face the wall.
“Did you enjoy our afternoon together, Gemma?” he finds himself asking her, seemingly out of nowhere. He strokes the paintbrush down the canvas, creating the curve of both her back and hip, making them appear seamless.
“I think you know I did,” she whispers so faintly that he almost doesn’t catch it.
“Then why are you acting so ashamed?”
He dips the brush into the color before bringing it back to the material. He isn’t here to create a masterpiece. He is using this time to show Gemma how Chantel felt as she sat there.
“I’m not ashamed, and I’m not here to answer your questions. You’re here to answer mine.”
Phillipe finds himself holding back a smile at her pretentiousness. “Well, maybe you should ask me some.”
He turns and puts the paintbrush down on the table beside him, watching as she shifts slightly in her position. Is she uncomfortable or aroused?
Either way, he takes selfish delight in telling her, “Try not to move, please.”
She blows out a deep breath. “When did you ask Chantel to move into the chateau with you?”
Phillipe was waiting for a question, but somehow, he didn’t expect it to be that one.
“Why would you just assume I asked her? Unless you already know better.”
Silence, thick and tense, stretches out between them.
“Well, with the way you talk about her and the way she writes about you, it automatically makes me think you asked her.”