Chapter 10
Ten
Jaclyn
Present
I never expected to be faced with someone from my past. College is a time where I would like to forget everything because remembering all the good memories hurts.
The good memories hurt to remember more than the bad ones because I know what I lost. I lost my happiness and the person I used to be. I lost the love I had for so many people and it makes my heart ache.
Just thinking about everyone I left behind and all the memories makes me want to cry again. But I can’t allow myself to cry because I have Junior watching me. I can’t have him know that his mother is broken beyond repair, despite all the therapy and talking.
“You look great.” Natalia smiles, radiance glowing from her.
Right now, we are at a small coffee shop having lunch. I decided to take my lunch early because she wanted to catch up and she recommended this coffee shop down the street from my office.
Natalia looks happy and healthy.
I remember in college she would look drained despite the smile on her face that she would give everyone. She still has an amazing jawline but her face looks more filled out. She has the same beautiful smile that people wish they had. Her hair is a gorgeous golden blonde color which makes me assume she dyed it because she used to have dirty blonde hair.
She looks stunning as usual and it’s nice to see her so healthy and glowing.
I smile. “Me? Look at you. You look so healthy and beautiful. Not that you didn’t before but something has changed about you.”
Natalia blushes. “Well, having a baby gives you a different kind of happiness.”
My eyes widen in response.
That’s something I didn’t expect her to say.
I trail my eyes down to her breasts and they definitely look bigger. She always had small boobs.
Fuck, I hope I don’t look different to the point where she notices.
I didn’t know Natalia had a baby. I never looked at her Instagram or anything and Hayden doesn’t ever post his family on social media so I was never curious.
“A baby? How old?”
“Around 4.”
Natalia pulls out her phone and turns it to me.
I see a girl with bright blonde hair and blue eyes smiling at the camera. She’s wearing a pink dress and hugging a stuffed frog.
I smile. “She’s beautiful Natalia, what’s her name?”
“Lilah. She’s amazing, Jaclyn. I never knew a kid could make me so happy. Chris is great with her and she’s just a little ball of happiness. I wish I could take her everywhere with me.”
I get what she means. Right now, all I want to do is go home to Junior and sit on the couch to watch TV with him.
“You're still with Chris?”
Natalia nods. “Yes. We’re married now. We got married right after graduation. He proposed right when I told him I was pregnant. He told me at the time he’s been wanting to propose for a while but with Lilah, he just thought it was the perfect time. But we’re still together. He’s playing for the Giants.”
“Nice. Does he like it?”
“Yea, he loves his teammates a lot. He fits in and is great with the other players. They work well together.”
“Is that why you moved out here?”
“Yea. He needed to be close to the training center and since Hayden lives out here we thought it’d be good.”
“Nice. Do you like it out here?”
“Yea. It’s very different from Utah and Arizona. It's a bit loud and chaotic but I love it,” she says, still with a small smile on her face. “But things are really good for me. I’m really happy. And I saw your interview with Hayden and just had to see you.”
I nod my head lightly. “Yea, I’m happy you came. It’s great to see you and that you’re doing good. I wish I stayed in contact.”
Natalia’s smile changes into a sad one. “Yea I know. You just needed time.” I stay quiet because I have no clue what to say to her. “How have you been lately? Are you doing good? You look a lot skinnier. I wish I could look like you.”
I smile shyly while rubbing my palms against my dress pants.
It’s because every time I feel like eating I think I’m going to gain back all the weight I lost. That’s why I sometimes overdose on meds so that I make sure not to eat that much.
But I don’t say that and in everyone else’s head and eyes I’m doing good. I’m happy and healthy and it’s all because I want to do better for Junior.
“Yea, I’ve just been busy with work mostly.”
Technically I’m not lying. I’m just not giving her all the information she should know.
Because if I tell her I'm hiding her brother’s baby she’s going to tell him and then I’ll be dragged back down and all the progress I’ve somewhat made will be gone.
“That’s good. I’ve wanted to reach out after the whole situation happened but I know you needed time.”
“Thank you, I appreciate it a lot, seriously. Time does heal wounds.” Sometimes .
Natalia smiles while she gives me a once over, probably to make sure that I look okay, which I should. I take vitamins to make my face glow and I drink energy drinks once or twice everyday to make sure I look like I’m awake and not a character from The Walking Dead .
“I know you probably have to go soon but why don’t you come to my house this weekend for lunch? Chris will be home and he would be happy to see you.” I really want to but I can’t help but think that might be a bad idea because the outcome is unknown. Will Hayden be there? Will I start talking to Hayden again after I become close with his sister again? Will I have to face him and tell him the truth? “If you’re worried about seeing Hayden, he won’t be at the house. He is always having weekend lunches with his agents.”
I lick my bottom lip, relief rushing through my body.
One lunch at Natalia’s house doesn’t mean I’ll start talking to Hayden again.
It’s just two friends catching up.
“Okay. Lunch sounds great.”