Chapter 23
Twenty-Three
Jaclyn
Present
A big black blanket is laid out on the sand for Hayden and I to sit on.
The nerves in my body are erupting and I can’t stop fidgeting with my pen.
Every time I’m near Hayden I always feel like something is about to happen, good or bad, I don’t know.
Let’s not forget about the butterflies in my stomach either because they just won’t leave whenever Hayden is around.
I plan on using my phone to record the conversation so that I can focus on the questions I’m asking him. After I’m done with the questions I’m going to try and get this project done as soon as I can so that Jules doesn’t bug me about it.
Most of the questions are things that fans want to know.
His love life, his fighting, his routine, what he eats, etc.
All very basic and simple questions he can answer easily.
Yelling from behind me makes me turn around. I see a group of girls swarming Hayden while yelling for a picture.
Hayden is wearing black shorts and a white button up that is unbuttoned and showing off his beautiful chest and abs.
He looks like every girl's wet dream, I swear to God.
Why does he have to look so perfect?
All I want to do is trace the muscles on his stomach and then watch them clench.
I swear, I feel the spot between my legs pulse as I think about it.
Every time I would give Hayden a massage it would always end up with me screaming his name and asking him to stop but he just went even rougher and faster.
Oh my God.
Married man, Jaclyn.
Married man.
He is getting married.
You already let him kiss you and finger fuck you at a table in front of his future wife.
God I’m so horrible.
Hayden walks up to the blanket after he is done taking pictures with his fans. He gives me a soft smile as he sits down on the blanket. “Sorry, I’m late. I hope you weren’t waiting too long.”
“It’s fine. I was just enjoying the sun,” I say, making Hayden nod his head lightly and look down at my body.
I’m wearing a white bikini but I have a tank top covering the waist up.
I just don’t want Hayden to see the mark on my side and I know if he sees it, he will make a big deal out of it and demand the story from that night.
The night he only saw blood, but he thought it was from something else, not the tattoo.
Hayden is looking at me like he wants to rip my clothes off and own my world.
I put my phone on record. “Okay, first question,” I say, clearing my throat. “Are there any upcoming fights you are excited about?”
“No,” Hayden states and I cross off the question.
“The media is going crazy over your engagement to Nicole Earnings. Why did you decide to marry her in the first place?” I read off my notes.
“Because the girl I wanted wasn’t there,” Hayden states as he stares at me with a straight face.
“Hayden, you can’t say things like that in an interview.” I narrow my eyes at him.
Hayden looks away from me and stares down at the beach instead. “Wanna go for a swim?”
I raise any eyebrow at him, wondering what kind of drug he is on.
“What?” I say, making Hayden look back at me.
Hayden stands up. “Sorry, let me rephrase. We are going to go for a swim.”
I put my notes and pen to the side. “Hayden, you wanted this interview. I am here with a recorder, pen, and paper. I’m not here to go swimming with you.”
Hayden leans down so that he is at eye level with me. Him being this close to me awakens my nerves and makes me feel like fire is spreading throughout my body.
Fuck how does he do that?
“Just for a little.” He holds out his hand to me and like the fool I am, I take it. He helps me up and I take off my tank top.
Hayden keeps his eyes on me, his eyes burning holes into my chest. I swear I see them darken as he admires me. It feels good that even after so much time has gone by, he still stares at me like I’m the only thing he wants.
But I also can’t help but wonder if he is also thinking about everything that could possibly be wrong with my body.
Am I too skinny now for him?
Are my boobs too big from gaining weight from having Junior?
What’s wrong with me?
When I turn slightly his eyes go to where the tattoo I got for him used to be. It’s now ruined by a scar that Eric created when he dug a knife in my side. It hurt like a bitch and every time I stared at the scar, I would always cry because I felt so weak remembering that moment.
But I’m better now.
I don’t cry when I look at the scar, instead I don’t look at it at all.
Junior sees the scar sometimes and he always worries about it and wonders why it’s there.
I ignore Hayden’s eyes and instead walk past him to go in the water.
The water isn’t that cold. Hayden and I go deep enough to where the water is over our chests but we still have our feet touching the bottom.
“Do you like your job?” Hayden asks me, making me focus on him.
“Yes,” I answer. “Do you like yours?”
“It’s fighting. Of course I do,” he says with a small smirk.
Hayden and I are close enough to one another to the point where he could just grab me and hold me in his arms while I wrap my legs around his waist but we aren’t going to do that.
“How did you start? Most people start professional fighting when they're in their late twenties.”
“Are we having our interview in the water?” he teases.
I look around. “I don’t see a pen and paper anywhere,” I joke.
Hayden smiles at me, swimming closer. The smile on his face reminds me of how he used to smile in college.
His genuine smile lit up my world.
“That can be a story for another time,” he says, looking down at my lips before meeting my eyes.
“Will there be another time?” I ask before thinking.
“I want there to be.”
I lick my bottom lip before saying, “You know we can’t be friends Hayden. We can never be just friends.”
Especially since you and I have a kid together that you don’t know about yet.
Suddenly, I feel Hayden’s warm hands slide on to my waist and pull me closer. I don’t push him away, instead I wrap my legs around his waist and hold onto his chest.
God, I’m going to hell.
But I don’t care.
Right now, my mind feels quiet and there is no pushy voice in my head telling me what to do.
“I don’t want to be just friends with you. I never have.” Hayden leans his head against mine. “The day I saw you in that fucking alley, I knew you were going to come knocking on my heart. You dug yourself so deep that I can’t fucking get you out, no matter how hard I try to, princess.”
I shake my head lightly. “You have to stop saying things like that.”
Hayden leans his forehead off my mine and furrows his eyebrows at me. “I can’t tell you something that is true?”
“You can’t say stuff like that to a girl you aren’t marrying,” I whisper before looking down at his lips, because I can’t help it. I meet his eyes again.
“I just wish that life had better timing for you and I,'' Hayden says before putting his hand on my cheek. He strokes the skin softly and my eyes flutter closed. And for just a second I pretend that Hayden is mine and I am his. We didn’t lose the last five years of our life together and everything is okay. I pretend that I’m happy. “Do you remember what I said to you that night we broke up?” he whispers in my ear.
Hayden turns around to look at me. A tear falls from his eyes and I can’t help but let out a sob as I look at him.
“Please don’t make this harder. I just need to be alone for a while, Hayden. Trust me, it’s not you. It will never be you. I just can’t feel anything other than emptiness and numbness.”
Hayden walks towards me slowly and he wraps his arms around me and rests his forehead on mine.
We stay like this for what seems like forever until he kisses my forehead. I feel his tear on my forehead and that just makes me cry harder.
“Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be here. I’ll be waiting for you,” he mumbles before letting go of me and leaving without looking back.
“Yes,” I whisper as a small tear falls from my eye.
Hayden leans forward and presses his lips against my forehead. “Good.”