Chapter 29
Twenty-Nine
Jaclyn
“How have classes been for the semester?” Lucas asks as he sits across from me.
We’re currently at No-Doze Diner for dinner. He said that we should go somewhere where I feel comfortable and that’s why we’re at No-Doze Diner.
It’s not the worst place I’ve been to but for a date I wish we could have gone somewhere more exciting.
Lucas has been nothing but kind though. He opened the door for me, took my hand in his as we walked to a booth. He’s been nice.
Very nice.
Everything opposite from Hayden who I can’t help but keep comparing him too.
It’s been a week since we got back from Utah and Hayden hasn’t been around. I haven’t seen him since we arrived in Arizona. Natalia doesn’t know where he is but she knows he’s safe because he’s talked to Kayden.
They told me it’s normal for him to go MIA once in a while.
I want to know where he is, even though he acted the way he did in Utah. He is so back and forth it gives me whiplash. I wish I could affect him as much as he affects me.
“Classes have been good. I'm mainly taking the same courses. No new ones or anything. What about you?” I ask. Lucas explains what’s currently happening in his business class while I listen, giving my input every now and then. One of the new waitresses I trained comes by and takes our drink orders before telling us she’ll be back to get our food orders in. “I really hope you’re okay with coming here. I just wanted us hanging out to feel natural.”
I furrow my eyebrows at him and shake my head slowly. “No, don't worry about it. I like that you are considerate. I appreciate it a lot.” I give him a small smile and he blushes a little.
The way he is so nice makes me unsure of what to do because how do I not like a guy who is perfect? It seems impossible to like someone who seems so nice and perfect for me but when it comes to guys like Hayden, it’s easy to fall into their trap.
I don’t like the butterflies Hayden gives me by just thinking of his lips on mine. I hate how I can't help but smile when thinking about the way he kissed me, despite him saying it was a mistake.
“What are you thinking?” Lucas asks, making me focus on him.
“What?” I furrow my eyebrows at him, confused.
“You just were smiling so I was wondering what’s going through your head.”
I blush immediately and feel guilty for thinking about another guy when I’m on a date with one.
“Nothing. I just replayed a funny thing that happened to me during break,” I say at the same time the bell from the front door rings.
“What happened?” he asks.
I try to think of a quick lie at the same time I see Hayden walk past our table. The way his gray shirt hugs his upper body so well, I wish I could run my fingers along every muscle on his body. The way his back tenses makes me assume he knows I’m staring. Hayden goes to the table in the back of the diner.
“Hey, Jaclyn.” I force my eyes away from Hayden as he sits down and look up at Kayden.
I smile at him. “Hi. What are you doing here?”
Kayden and I have seen each other a few times after break. He said his break was good and that he enjoyed seeing his family since he hasn’t seen them for a while. He also told me he brought his girlfriend's old car to Arizona and if I ever want to check it out I can .
She had a 2014 M3.
Him mentioning his girlfriend is weird because every time he mentions her, his body turns rigid and he wants to shut off almost. It’s like he is forcing the word, girlfriend out of his mouth.
But I’m in no position to ask him about her.
“Just came to get some food with Hayden. He just got back.” At the mention of Hayden I feel butterflies in my stomach but I don’t look at him. Kayden looks at Lucas before looking at me and he gives me a small smile. “Well, I’ll let you be. Enjoy your guys' night,” Kayden says before walking past the table and going to Hayden who is staring at me.
His face has new scratches and he’s sporting an angry bruise on his cheek. I feel the need to help him but the memories from the last time I helped him come to mind and my mood turns sour.
“I didn’t know that you knew Kayden,” Lucas says, making me focus back on him.
“Yea, he is friends with Natalia who I’m friends with.”
“So you know Hayden then?”
My eyes go to Hayden who is still staring at me. It’s hard not to get trapped in his gaze.
I look back at Lucas. “Barely.”
Eventually our waitress comes back and takes our order. She smiles when she messes up but I tell her she’s fine.
She started when I came back from break and since Andy was out of town, I trained her.
When she leaves, my eyes can’t help but go to Hayden again. He’s talking to Kayden, his face stone cold straight. He looks so serious and the way his jaw clenches makes me want to run my finger along his jawline to make him stop tensing.
I hate how I feel. I hate that I keep thinking these things about Hayden.
Hayden licks his lip and memories from the night he kissed me come to my mind again. The way he touched my thighs and licked my lips like they were his to own.
My stomach gets tingly and when Hayden looks at me I press my thighs together. How can a simple look from him bug me this much?
“Everything okay?” Lucas asks, making me look at him.
I feel shitty for basically admiring Hayden when I’m hanging out with Lucas who has been nothing but kind to me.
I force a smile on my face and nod. “Yea. I need to use the restroom really quick.” I stand up from the table and grab my bag. I’m not running away. I really do need to use the restroom so that I can do my shot before eating. “I swear I’m not leaving by the way.”
Lucas laughs. “I didn’t think you were. You don’t seem like that. ”
I smile at him before leaving him alone at the booth. I rush to the bathroom, forcing myself not to look at Hayden.
Once I get into the bathroom I lock the door and press my back against it, closing my eyes.
I don’t know why I feel so anxious all of a sudden.
I look down at my phone and see my blood sugar is fine.
I’m not low, I just feel so high on the way Hayden makes me feel from just staring at me from across the room.
I’ve always been obsessive with my feelings towards any guy I like but with Hayden, it's different. I don’t know what it is.
I go to the sink and pull out my diabetes bag. After I put the needle on the pen I poke myself on my thigh since I’m wearing a skirt.
I used to do them on my stomach but because of that, my lower stomach formed sort of a lump that is filled with fat that was caused by how many times I poked myself there. I’m insecure of it now and never poke myself there because I don’t want my lower stomach to get bigger.
I know it’s not flat like my upper stomach and I used to always punch my lower stomach trying to force the fat formed from the insulin away but obviously that didn’t work and I just ended up crying.
I don’t like to think of things I’ve done because of how much I hate my diabetes and myself. But I’m different now. Things are a little better than they were before and it’s only going to get better.
That’s what I keep reminding myself whenever I think of those things.
Banging on the door makes me lift my head towards the door. “Occupied!” I yell as I put my insulin away and throw the needle cap in my bag. Banging on the door continues and I roll my eyes. I go to the door and open it only to be pushed back inside. Hayden’s hand grabs my waist and he closes the door behind him, locking it. “Hayden,” I say, not knowing what else to do at this moment.
Hayden walks us to the sink so that my butt is resting against the sink with his hands holding my waist.
“What did I tell you about looking at me like that?” Hayden says, leaning his face close to mine.
I press my head against the mirror and Hayden forces his way to stand between my thighs.
From up close I can see the new scratches he has on his face. They are fresh and look like he got them yesterday. I want to caress the scratches and ask him if he’s okay but then the asshole would probably laugh at me and push me away.
I can’t answer him because I don’t know why I keep looking at him like that, even though he told me our kiss was a mistake. But the way he touches me and makes me feel is unlike any other .
But he called the kiss a mistake. Push him away.
“Get off of me,” I say, trying to push him away but he keeps his hold on me. “You’re the one who keeps coming to me.”
“That’s your fault.”
He’s crazy. “How is it my fault?” I furrow my eyebrows at him, trying to ignore the way his fingers are tracing the exposed skin on my stomach. “Last time I checked, you’re the one who said it was a mistake kissing me. You’re actually insane.”
“Who said I’m trying to kiss you?” Hayden tilts his head and I feel his breath hit my cheek. “Maybe I just want to make sure your date out there knows who you belong to.”
“I belong to no one, asshole.” I try to push him off of me again but Hayden presses his hips into mine making me blush.
I can feel his bulge against my thigh through his jeans. Hayden trails one of his hands down my waist and his fingers touch my bare thigh.
“The goosebumps on your skin say otherwise. Tell me princess, are you wet?”
I press my thighs against Hayden as I feel tingling between my legs. Why does he have to say those things that make me feel like I’m going to fall apart?
“No,” I say in a low voice. I almost think he doesn’t hear me .
Hayden leans closer to me, his lips hovering over mine. My lips part, ready for him to take them in his and make me his all over again.
“Is it that guy out there making you wet or me?” I don’t say anything, I can’t. My words are stuck in my throat. I lick my bottom lip and Hayden looks down at them, licking his lips. His fingers skim across my thighs and make their way between my legs, spreading them so he can rest his body completely against mine. “You have goosebumps spread across your skin yet you’re nice and hot down here princess. Is it me you’re wet for?” he says, his lips bumping against mine.
“Hayden-” I almost choke when I feel him cup me through my underwear.
“Do you always wear lace or is it because you were hoping to get fucked tonight?”
“You’re a jerk,” I mutter even though I want this jerk to kiss me until I can’t breathe.
“Yet you’re the one who’s wet for me.” Hayden looks down at his hand between us. One of his fingers runs down the length of my pussy through my underwear. I press my thighs against Hayden and I take a deep breath as if I can’t breathe. Is this what it feels like when guys touch girls like this? Hayden rubs me through my underwear, not saying anything. I close my eyes, getting tired from absolutely nothing but I want to feel more. I don’t know what more is but I want it. I can hate Hayden and let him touch me, I try to convince myself. “You want me to touch you, princess?” I don’t answer him because I wish I could say no but I want more. I want to feel what else he can do with his hands. My hands against the sink clench. “If you don’t say anything, I’m going to touch you, Jaclyn. Your pussy is begging to be touched.” Hayden's lips find their way to my ear and I shiver. “She is all wet for me.”
“Hayden-” I moan when I feel his finger move my underwear out of the way.
His finger makes contact with my folds at the same time his lips nip at my ear. “Fuck, you’re so wet for me princess. This is for me, isn’t it?” he says as his finger grazes my clit, lightly touching it before moving his finger up and down my folds, rubbing me slowly.
He trails his lips along my jaw until they are hovering over mine. We are basically kissing without touching each other's lips. We are breathing each other's air, wanting to get closer. Almost like we’re teasing each other.
Hayden’s finger teases my entrance making me moan into his mouth. He slowly pushes one finger in and hisses. “Fuck, you’re gripping my fingers so tight, princess.”
“Hayden,” I moan, my lips caressing his.
Hayden grips my waist in his hand and he pushes me up so that I’m sitting on the sink. I rest my hands on his shoulders, holding onto him as he moves his finger in and out at a steady rhythm.
Girls rave about how guys finger them and now I get it. It’s almost as good as kissing. The way I feel so breathless and tired from his touch is so good.
I grind against his finger. His thumb plays with my clit, rubbing me fast as he enters in another finger. I grip his shoulders hard and moan into his mouth. He licks my bottom lip but still doesn’t kiss me. I still have at least a quarter of my mind to know not to kiss the enemy.
My thighs clench around Hayden as he rubs my clit faster. I rest my forehead on his and my eyes clench shut.
“You like me touching you like this, princess? You like the way my fingers stretch you?” Hayden mutters against my lips. Something in my stomach feels like it’s getting tighter and tighter. “You’re so tight for me, princess.”
“Oh, Hayden.”
I bite my bottom lip to stop myself from moaning loud. Hayden is still pushing his finger in and out while rubbing me. My legs wrap around him tight until finally I feel volcanic eruptions in my stomach and between my legs.
My core tightens and tingles and I try to control my breathing while my eyes still stay shut. I don’t want to go back to the real world. It was nice and quiet up there.
Hayden removes his fingers from inside me and fixes my underwear before cupping me again. I feel sensitive everywhere so him touching me makes me shiver and tremble but in a good way .
I open my eyes and look at Hayden whose eyes are dark and heated.
“Now, I want you to go back to your table with your date who is boring and nice. And while you’re there, I want your date to smell how wet I made you.” Hayden places a small timid kiss on my neck making me shake and sigh from that alone.
He backs away, making me press my thighs together from my first orgasm and leaves through the bathroom door.