Chapter 41
Forty-One
Jaclyn
Hayden drives through a familiar road up the hill. His hand is resting on my thigh and “All I Want” by Kodaline is playing softly in the car.
I look out the windows, watching as the trees pass by us and the town becomes smaller.
Hayden told me to borrow one of Natalia’s swimsuits. It made me wonder what he had in mind but I trusted him and just went with it. Natalia let me wear one of her summer dresses because I didn't have any clothes with me.
While changing, she questioned me about Hayden and I. I told her the truth about us and said that I don't know what we’re doing. I explained to her that I’m scared of how he makes me feel and she told me that Hayden doesn’t have a good history with girls and he’s always steered clear from them until me .
It makes me wonder why.
What could he see in me, someone who has enough demons to share with someone else? I never wanted someone to love because all loving someone ever did to me was get me hurt in the end.
But here I am, feeling things I definitely shouldn’t be feeling with Hayden Night.
“What are we doing here?” I ask as Hayden pulls the car over to park on the side of the road.
“Going for a swim.” He shrugs and turns the engine off before getting out. Hayden grabs towels from the trunk as I get out of the car and look around. It feels nice outside and the weather is amazing today with clear skies and a beautiful sun. “Let’s go.” Hayden closes the trunk and he holds his hand out for me which I take.
We walk hand in hand inside the forest. It doesn’t take long for us to get to the building that is covered in plants.
Hayden and I walk up the stairs to get to the top. He places a large blanket on the floor and then our bag on top.
“Why are we here?” I ask, letting go of his hand and walking to the edge of the roof.
“I wanted to spend the day here, with you.” Hayden walks up to me and he grabs me by the waist. I turn around and smile when I see he is already looking down at me. “Arms up,” he says and I do as he says. Hayden slowly removes the dress and throws it on the blanket with our stuff. Hayden’s eyes go to my chest and I blush immediately.
Hayden’s never seen me without any clothes on. Sure he may touch me but I always have clothes on. He has never pressured me to go further with him, which I’m grateful for but the way he’s looking at me right now, like I’m the only thing he needs, I want him to do anything he wants with me.
I lean in and press my lips against his before removing them quickly and jumping off the roof and into the lake below us.
I close my eyes and hold my nose as cold water surrounds me.
I still feel the effects of that quick kiss on my lips. That’s the first time I ever made the first move with him and I can’t help but feel scared about what he thinks.
A splash fills my ears as I swim to the surface. I look at the roof but don’t see Hayden. Water drops down my face and I lick the water off my lips as I look around me to try and find Hayden.
Strong hands grab my ankles, making me scream.
I’m pulled back into the water while still screaming, terror rising up my chest. I open my eyes in the water as the hands grab my waist. Hayden smiles at me from under the water and I push his chest and shake my head.
Hayden pulls us back to the surface, his hands still holding my waist. “You scared me!” I yell, slapping his chest and trying to pull away from him but he grabs me by the legs and wraps them around his waist.
His arms hold onto my waist, almost like he’s hugging me as I rest my arms on his shoulders. “Don’t pretend you didn’t like it.” Water droplets make their way down his face as he gives me an amused smile.
“I didn’t. I thought I was going to die,” I say, trying to be serious but it’s hard when he is looking down at my lips like he wants to bite and lick them. “Stop.” I can feel the blush making its way to my face again.
I love how Hayden stares at me sometimes. Hayden stares at me like he wants me and I can’t help but want him back.
Hayden leans in slowly and takes my lips in his.
And like every time he kisses me, butterflies erupt in my stomach and I can’t help but smile into the kiss, loving how his lips feel against mine.
One of his hands makes its way up my body to grab my throat. He isn’t squeezing but he is showing me that I’m his and he will never let me go.
I can’t help but feel excited even though I should feel scared.
His lips devour mine in a hungry and almost brimming way. I clench my thighs around his waist and moan when he presses his thumb against the front of my throat.
“Why did you make me like this?” Hayden mumbles against my lips .
“Like what?”
“Desperate for you, princess. I’m fucking desperate to make you mine.” Hayden squeezes my throat once. I breathe into his mouth, needing his air to breathe. “Touching you will always be my undoing.” He licks my bottom lip before nipping at it. “When I touch you, you feel like mine.”
“Hayden-” I moan into his mouth before he thrusts his tongue in my mouth.
I can’t help but feel all tingly between my legs making me buck my hips into him. His tongue caresses mine, making my whole body shiver.
Kissing him is so exciting and it makes me giddy. I forget about all the worries and all of the obsessive thoughts in my brain. All of those obsessive thoughts turn over to him.
Hayden nips my bottom lip once more and rests his forehead on mine as I keep my eyes closed and feel how his breath hits my cheek. “You’re mine. Your body knows it and it’s only a matter of time before I get into that pretty little head of yours and make that mine too.”
“Hayden, we have to stop this.”
“Why?”
I look up at him, my hand making its way to his face to hold his jaw in my hand. “Because you scare me. I’ve never felt this way about anyone.”
Hayden’s eyes heat up. “Never? ”
I shake my head. “Only you.” I lick my bottom lip. “That’s why we need to stop. I promised myself to not focus on boys and you’re consuming my thoughts, Hayden.”
“You’re consuming mine,” he admits. “I should stop. I should leave you alone but I can’t. I want you, all of you.”
I can’t help but smile while touching his lips with my finger. “Promise not to break my heart?”
Hayden nips his bottom lip before sighing. It makes me wonder why he did that. He looks like he’s hiding something.
Is he?
Does he not like me like I thought he did?
This must have been a mistake to him then, like the kiss was.
“Stop getting in your head,” Hayden says while holding my jaw to make me look at him. “I’m a fuck up. I will mess up. It’s bound to happen but I promise I will be good for you and not break your heart.”
“Okay,” I say before Hayden leans in again and kisses me until I’m begging him to give me air.
“Just promise me, you’ll stay.”
And like a fool who has fallen, I say, “I will.”