Chapter 52
Fifty-Two
Hayden
It’s been five months.
I feel like I'm losing my mind but it’s not like she cares.
She’s the one who left.
The one who ran away as people keep telling me.
I’ve been either stuck in my room or at a club an hour away in Yuma. I’ve been drowning my thoughts in her. She’s all I think about even though she fucked me over and broke her promise.
All I do now is shower to get rid of the thoughts of her and even then I still feel her around me. When I close my eyes I feel like I’m in her arms and she is telling me everything is okay and she’ll be back.
But it’s all a fucking lie because when I open my eyes she’s not there .
Closing my eyes at the end of every day has been my safe place. It’s the only time I feel like everything is okay because I dream of her.
I sound pathetic but I’m the only one who knows how I feel.
Natalia has been busy going through her own shit with Chris and her pregnancy. She found out she was pregnant not too long ago and I can't help but envy them because Chris and Natalia now have something that ties them together.
"Go away," I mutter, not wanting her to see me like this.
"No," she says, walking closer to me until I feel her arms go around my waist and her pressing her front against my back. "I am not leaving you."
"You should. You'll only get hurt."
"Then let me get hurt," she mutters, making me turn around.
Jaclyn puts a hand on my jaw while stroking my cheek. “I don’t deserve you. After everything we’ve been through, you’re still here. It feels like a dream being with you and I never want to wake up,” I admit, resting my forehead on hers. “I don’t want you to leave. I can lose everything and anything but not you, God, not you Jaclyn.” I press my lips to her forehead and breath heavily trying to calm down my heart. That’s why I hate holidays with family, they always make everything harder for me. “Please don’t leave me, Jaclyn. I’m a fuck up in so many ways and you’ve only seen a glimpse but you make everything go away when I’m with you. You should leave but don’t. I need you to promise you won’t. No matter what.”
“No matter what, Hayden, I won’t leave you,” she promises, making it forever.
But it was all a fucking lie.
I drive my fists into the closet door, getting mad again with myself and her.
I hear banging outside my door before Kayden yells, “You better not be doing this shit again,” and tries to open the door but it’s locked.
He’s been coming here every day making sure I’m not being stupid. I’m so close to being stupid and driving a fist into his face. His banging doesn’t stop making me groan and walk out of my closet and go to the bedroom door.
“What do you want?” I ask, glaring at him while he just glares back at me.
“Put some clothes on. We’re going out.”
“No.” I roll my eyes before walking back to the closet and trying to find a sweater.
While trying to find a sweater to wear I feel Kayden behind me and his fingers graze the tattoo on the back of my neck. I tense but let him touch it.
“When did you get that? It wasn’t on your back a few weeks ago,” Kayden says before removing his hand.
I roll my eyes and throw a sweater on before turning around to look at him. “If I come, will you leave me alone and stop asking so many goddamn questions.”
“Who was there for me when I was grieving?” Kayden crossed his arms over his chest, staring me down. “Who was there for me when I was going through hell thinking about Alexis’ ghost? You were. You got me out of there, Hayden. I’m not going to let you go through what I did. I know it fucking hurts.”
I know Kayden actually lost his girlfriend, forever, not just for a few months.
I’m acting like a child compared to him which makes me feel even worse because Jaclyn didn’t even die.
“Where are we going?”
“Get dressed and you’ll see. Wear some gym shorts.”
___
When Kayden pulls into the parking lot I see a club come into view. It’s different from the one in Yuma. This one looks expensive for one and multiple expensive cars are in the parking lot.
I spot a Lamborghini, McLaren, a few Ferraris, and some other flashy sports cars.
“Where are we?” I ask Kayden as we get out of the car.
“A club. I found a new one that I think you would like. By the end of the night you’ll be drowning in about a million. ”
“You’re joking?” I raise any eyebrow at Kayden as we walk towards the club.
This club is flashy but it’s in the middle of the fucking desert so that no one can spot it. We are miles away from the closest town.
When we get inside the club, some song by Yeat is playing while two men go at each other in the cage.
Men and women in formal outfits are watching them with envy and curiosity. They are all probably buyers or work for some illegal shit that Marco was in.
“Think you can beat one of them?” Kayden asks, looking at the side of my face as I observe their movements.
“You know I can.”
“Wanna fight?” Kayden bumps his shoulder into mine and I just smirk and turn my head to look at him.
“Get me the worst fighter you can.”
Kayden smiles. “I knew you liked challenges, Hayden.” Kayden walks away from the cage and I follow him. “You have one right after this with him.”
“Tell me about him,” I demand while we walk towards what I assume is the dressing rooms.
“He has killed. Heard he works for some mafia group. He earns a lot of cash while working for them.”
Kayden shows me the room and tells me to get ready. He also says that the fight is set up and someone should come and get me in a few minutes. I throw the sweater on the couch and start wrapping my hands with the wraps they provide.
There’s a knock on the door at the same time I finish wrapping my hand. “Come in,” I say and then the door opens.
The ref comes in and reminds me of the rules. The rules here are much different, cleaner, but he says there is always a way around the rules, you just have to find it.
He walks me out of the dressing rooms and leads me to the inside of the cage where the fighter is already waiting.
As I stand in front of him I explore his body, making sure to mark sensitive areas I can hit. He looks big, muscles bulging from everywhere and veins running down his arms. He looks like he could snap anyone in half.
I can take him.
He has a few inches on me and I know if I move fast enough I can get him on the floor.
“Fight!”
I lunge at him, throwing a punch to the throat because the ref didn’t say anything about that. Xavier, his name is, falls to the floor while coughing. I get on top of him, straddling his hips and start going at his face.
He keeps his arms up protecting himself but it doesn’t stop me from getting him on his ribs and any other area on his body.
He gets me off him and we start just throwing punches at one another while circling each other like we’re animals.
I use his body as a punching bag, not caring when he gains the upper hand a couple of times.
I block everything out as I hear only her haunting voice.
“When did you get this?” I ask Jaclyn while stroking the small punching bag that’s inked on her rib.
I lean closer to her ribs and kiss the spot making her shudder and grind on top of me as I hold on to her waist.
“A week ago. I wanted to surprise you.”
I run my lips up her skin until my mouth is on her, “You definitely surprised me. I love it.” I take her lips in mine and ravish her whole.
“Happy Birthday, Hayden. I love you.”
“I love you.”
Love is a dangerous fucking thing. It can make anyone feel like they are powerful and rule the world. And then when it’s finally gone, you wither away slowly until you can’t feel anything.
Because love doesn’t last forever, like people say it does.
Soulmates?
That’s bullshit that people make up when they need to feel better about their relationship.
I send a last hard punch to Xavier’s face making him fall to the floor and hit his head against the cage.
I don’t wait for the ref to announce me as the winner. I leave the cage while cursing and ignore the yells and screams for me. I slam the dressing room door shut after I walk in and go to the table and lean down while closing my eyes.
I just need to block everything out again. I just need it not to hurt anymore because when she was here, everything bad and ugly disappeared.
I hear the dressing room door open. “Don’t feel like having a heart to heart moment with you, Kayden.”
“Having a heart to heart moment should've happened a long time ago,” a slightly familiar voice says from behind me.
I turn around and it’s almost like I am looking at a more mature and less fucked up version of myself.
I know who he is before he says his name.
I know him because I’ve been waiting to hear from him since I was eighteen and he called me saying he killed our father.
“Who are you?” I ask, knowing who he is already but I just need confirmation.
“Rowan Valentino,” he says before closing the door behind him and walking towards me. “You and I have a lot to chat about.”