Chapter 2 #2
He set his forearms on the table and came in close.
“Look, I know he’s all you have left, but trying to impress him by only dating women isn’t healthy for you.
Your face lit up when you mentioned Travis.
You fucking blushed when you spoke about him.
I saw nothing when you told me about…what was her name? ”
“Sara.” I pinched my lips. He was right. I felt nothing for her except friendship. But maybe I could change that on our date.
“You know, you can’t always control what the heart wants. I saw that with Lucas when he met Ezra. The guy didn’t even know he was bisexual until he met him.” He twisted his lips. “Why are you doing this to yourself? It’s okay to be bisexual. It’s not a big deal.”
I pursed my lips and braced myself. “You recall the remarks my dad made about gay men. Sure, he was probably drunk and hanging out with his buddies, but I don’t know what he’d think of me. I almost lost him after Mom died.” My eyes stung. I hated talking about this.
“No, he almost lost you after your mother died.” Fixing his gaze on mine, he grabbed my hand, squeezing it over the table.
“He neglected both of you. I think the only reason he went into medical equipment sales was so he could travel and buy booze on the company’s dime.
Okay, and play fucking golf with doctors.
” He scowled and released me. “You both deserved better.”
My breath hitched. “He’s all I have left. Even if he’s not perfect, he’s the only one.” I bit back tears. How had the conversation turned on us?
“Not true, my man. You have me.” He rose and stepped to me, then wrapped his arms around my shoulders and kissed the top of my head. “You’ll always have me, Colton. And you should be true to yourself. I watched Lucas bloom with Ezra. Don’t settle.”
As I sniffled, he let me go and then fell into his chair.
“Shit, I’m sorry I upset you.” As his gaze crept to mine, his eyes glistened.
“You know how much I love you, man. I only want the best for you, and watching you fall apart after your mom died, well, it almost killed me.” A sad grin teased his lips.
“And to see you now, this controlled, super nerd who never parties, never has fun anymore, never lets himself love, well, it’s still hard to watch. ”
As my heart wrenched, I stared at my plate and whispered, “I know, but I can’t let that person out. The destructive partier that I became, he’s still in there and I can’t let him out.” I was terrified. If I let myself go, I could spiral, and I knew that. There was no other way.
Patting my hand, he said, “Okay, let’s talk about something fun then. How are your classes?” He chuckled.
I blew out a long breath. “Great. I’m getting all As.” I hadn’t expected the intensity of tonight. But he knew what I needed to hear and when to cut it off. He knew all of me. I dunked a roll into my sauce and ate it.
“Why does it matter what I fucking wear?” I stared at myself in the mirrored closet door in my bedroom, at the white linen shirt and black shorts I’d put on.
I’d changed countless times. Why? Because Travis Rowlings would be here any minute for another study session.
I’d let Evan’s words sink too far into my head and now I was a mess.
I unbuttoned the shirt, and a hard knocking reverberated through the air.
“Fuck. He’s here.” I had no choice but to wear what I’d picked out. Buttoning the shirt, I strode through the main room and swung the door open.
Travis stood on the entry, wearing a charming smile, a tight ASU athletic shirt and matching shorts, his muscles filling everything out in the best way. “Hi, Colton. You were expecting me, right?”
I gaped and then blinked a few times, my heart beating into my throat. “I, uh, yes, I was. Come on in.” I stepped aside, letting his enormous frame through the doorway and into the room. My attention drew to his ass, swaying as he walked. “Couch or the dinette?”
“I enjoy sitting on the couch better. It’s more comfortable.” He sat at one end and dropped his bag on the floor at his feet.
“Would you like an orange Gatorade again?” I strode into the kitchen and pulled one out along with water. I’d bought these specifically for him, since Evan raved about them.
“Sure.” He slipped his laptop from his bag and watched me, his gaze curious.
As I approached with the drinks, I held out the Gatorade to him. “Here you go.” I needed to calm down. He was attractive, but there couldn’t be anything more. He was probably dating someone already.
As he took the drink from me, his grin widened. “Were you getting dressed when I got here?” He unscrewed the cap.
“No, uh…” I looked down at my shirt. “Why would you—”
“The buttons are off. Here, let me fix them.” Setting his drink on the coffee table, he stood and unbuttoned my shirt, the light tapping of his fingers shivering across my skin. My dick plumped in my shorts, and I swallowed hard. “I guess I, uh, wasn’t paying attention when I buttoned it.”
“Yeah, I get it. I’ve done this more than once.
” As he reached the bottom button, my shirt fell partly open.
He made a small growl and his pupils flared.
“Sorry, I’m gay so I can’t help but look.
I like a smooth chest.” He buttoned the shirt, starting at the bottom.
“You didn’t button it all the way up this time.
Last time I came here, you had buttoned your polo all the way. ”
He’d noticed that? I fought to control my breath. “Uh, yeah. It’s my nerdy tutor look.” I chuckled. “I don’t always dress this way. Just for students.” As his hands worked the top buttons, our gazes met.
“Do you want me to button it all the way up today?” He tilted his head as if admiring me. “You have an attractive neck. You should show it off.” His throat dipped. “But maybe it isn’t suitable for students?”
“No, leave the top two buttons open.” My hot cock stretched to my hip inside my briefs. He’d gotten me hard, just by buttoning my damn shirt. I was in so much trouble.
“Sure.” With a coy grin, he dropped his hands. “Anyway…” He scratched the side of his head and cleared his throat. “I still need some help with data structures.” As he stepped to the couch, he adjusted himself and then dropped in.
Was he hard too? Someone like me turned him on? “Okay, then let’s get started.” I sat next to him while he slipped his laptop out of his bag.
“Oh, I have the tickets for the game.” He reached into his bag and pulled out the tickets. “They’re right behind our bench. Great seats.” He held them out.
I took them from him, peeked at them, and set them on the table. “Thanks.” Should I tell him it’s a date with Sara? My gut churned. No, it felt wrong, and the date wouldn’t lead anywhere.
“You and she are close, huh?” He worried his lower lip. “I mean, she seems to know you really well.” He opened his laptop and turned it on. “How long have you been tutoring her?”
“Since the first week of the semester.” I watched his thick fingers type on his keyboard. If his fingers were that thick, how thick was his—
“How often do you two hang out together?” With his brows wrinkling, his attention drew to me.
“Hang out?” I shook my head. “N-no, we don’t. Tutors can’t date the students they teach. It’s against the school policy.” Shit, this didn’t look good.
“Okay, so you can’t date, but you can hang out?” He lifted his brows. “Like we could grab a beer sometime and shoot the shit, maybe?” He shifted closer to me. “If you’re going to the game with Sara, then maybe we—”
“I’m going to stop tutoring her after next week.” I widened my eyes. How had I blurted that out?
His brows snapped together. “I can’t hang out with you if you’re tutoring me?” He scoffed. “That doesn’t seem right.”
“I…” My heart thrummed against my ribcage. Why couldn’t I tell him the truth? We weren’t anything. “She asked me on a date. She wants that night to be a date.”
He looked away, his expression going flat. “Oh, okay. So, I guess you like her then.” He clenched his hand into a fist and released it. “She’s pretty and bubbly. I can see why.”
An ache floated through my chest. I wasn’t sure what to think, but if he offered me a beer out, I wanted it.
“It…it doesn’t mean we can’t hang out.” I sank my teeth into my lower lip.
“It’s just a date with her.” I choked out a laugh.
“I don’t think I like her in that way.” Could I dig a deeper hole right now?
“Yeah?” His smile returned with a vengeance. “Good, then maybe next week we can grab a beer. And if it’ll make you feel better, you can quiz me or something while we do it.” He narrowed his eyes. “You strike me as a guy who doesn’t go out much.”
My body relaxed, and I chuckled. “Yeah, I guess so.” A smile tugged at my lips. He was such a nice guy. “But I saw Evan last night. We had dinner.”
“You did?” He wrinkled his nose. “How is he? Does he have any prospects for moving to the Coyotes this year?”
“He’s great and yes, it looks like Lucas’s D-line partner is having problems.” After spending so much time with Evan, I knew a few things about hockey. Football? Not so much. “Show me what you’re working on this week.”
He turned his laptop toward me and pointed at the screen. “This shit.”
Freeing a soft laugh, I said, “It’s not shit. It’s the future of big data.”
We’d studied for almost an hour when my phone buzzed on the coffee table. I glanced at it. “Shit, I’m sorry, but I need to take this.” I didn’t normally take calls while tutoring, but it was my dad. I rose from the couch with my phone and answered the call, jogging toward my bedroom. “Hello?”
“Hey, Colt. Why don’t you ever call?” He huffed a laugh. “It’s been what, a month?”
Colt, like I was a fucking pony. I cringed. I hated when he called me that. Had it really been a month since I’d spoken with him? Nope. “It’s been two weeks, Dad.” My yearly wellness exam had forced me to call him about our health insurance policy so I could give them the numbers.
“Oh. Right. So, how are things?” The tinkling of ice in a glass carried through the connection. He was drinking, which meant he was bored in a hotel room somewhere.
“Are you on the road?” I pinched the bridge of my nose and paced across my bedroom.
“I am. I’m in Philly. I had an excellent meeting with the head of surgery at a hospital here.” He inhaled deeply. “Have you met any new friends?”
He always asked that, as if I wasn’t capable of it. I could tell him about Travis. Glancing through the hallway, I said, “Yes, in fact I have. I’ve met a football player for ASU.”
“You have? What’s his name? You know I love college ball.” The tinkling started up again.
Putting my hand over the phone and my mouth, I said, “Travis Rowlings.” Hopefully, Travis couldn’t hear me.
“Travis Rowlings? The guy from Austin they call Tex? He’s amazing.” Dad snickered. “I watched an ASU game last weekend, and he was all over the field.”
My brows lifted. His nickname was Tex? Why didn’t he tell me?
“How the hell did you meet him? Are you in a class with him?” Dad asked.
“No, I’m…” Shit, would it count in Dad’s head if I told him about the tutoring? “Yes, I met him in class. He’s in school for business.” Rubbing my forehead, I paced across the floor and stopped at the other set of sliding doors leading to my patio.
“Oh, that’s great. You really know how to pick ‘em. First a hockey player and now a football star.” He cackled. “Too bad you never played sports.”
Heat swirled in my chest. Apparently, being smart wasn’t enough for him. “Is there anything else you want? I’m actually in a…” I inhaled deeply. “I’m tutoring someone right now.”
“Oh, no. I was just checking in. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Sure. Bye, Dad.” I waited. Was he drunk enough to tell me he loved me?
“Yeah, bye now.” The call ended.
Nope, not drunk enough yet. With a heavy sigh, I strolled toward the main room.
Travis…or Tex…stood in the doorway to my bathroom, just outside my bedroom. “Sorry, but I heard some of that. You told your dad we met in class? Why didn’t you tell him you’re tutoring me?”