Chapter 14 #2
I fidgeted with the hem of my shirt. “No, no others. The girl I tutored was nice, but I didn’t like her that way.
I tried, but…” I watched him out of the corner of my eye, his gaze fixed on Tex.
Was he still looking at his damn ass? It was my ass, not his.
As heat swelled in my chest, I held my breath. Should I tell him the truth?
“Well, I’ll tell you a little secret.” He leaned in close.
“What’s that?” Did I want to know? My pulse sped up.
The West Virginia quarterback threw a long pass high into the air.
As their wide receiver jumped for the ball, an ASU defensive lineman was on him, grabbing him around the waist as he came down, both falling to the turf.
The clock ran out, and the crowd went wild, jumping out of their seats and throwing their hands in the air, making the ASU fork symbol.
“Holy shit, did you see that?” Dante hopped up and clapped. “Great tackle!” Tucking his fingers between his lips, he blew a loud whistle.
As the whistle pierced my ears, I winced and then rose, joining him with clapping.
Tex twisted around, his helmet tucked into his elbow crease, a wide smile gracing his face.
As his gaze caught mine, he waved.
“Yeah, that’s my man.” Dante waved back at him.
No, that was my man. Damn it. What the hell was the secret he almost shared? I gave Tex a small wave and my best smile. “Uh, what were you going to tell me?”
As the players left the field, the stands emptied.
Dante’s gaze raked over me. “Oh…” As his cheeks pinked, he said, “Someday, I hope I win him back.”
“Win who back?” My heart stuttered. Was he talking about Tex?
Students and ASU alumni filtered by us, shoving us against our folded seats.
“Tex, Travis. We had something special, but we were so young. I hope someday we’ll get a second chance.” He skimmed his teeth across his lower lip, his gaze dashing across my face.
Heat exploded in my chest. Not if I had anything to do with it. Holy fuck. As my nostrils flared, I took quick breaths, fisting and opening my hands. He had his chance with Tex. Should I tell him the truth?
“Come on, let’s get another beer.” He patted my arm and side-stepped toward the stairs.
What was I supposed to do with this information? I followed him up the stairs and onto the concourse, where long lines were forming at the beer stands. Was he expecting me to tell Tex? I stopped next to him.
“Hey, do you know if Tex has his eye on anyone here?” Dante rubbed his hands together. “He seems different, like he’s seeing someone, but he keeps saying he’s not.”
It was on the tip of my damn tongue. Me, he’s seeing me. I gritted my jaw. Fuck, I couldn’t say it. I wasn’t ready. “Uh, I don’t think so.” Evan saw this coming, the bastard, or he’d jinxed me.
“How often do you two hang out? Tex said you have two study sessions a week, but he seems to really enjoy hanging out with you.” He stepped closer to the counter.
“Yes, we have two study sessions during the week, and if he’s in town, I see him on the weekend.
” Slumping my shoulders, I stuffed my hands into the pockets of my jeans.
I should just fucking tell him. Dante was gay, and he wasn’t a student here.
What could it hurt? I snuck a peek at him.
Him. It could hurt him. He was a decent guy, and he was unaware of me and Tex because I was an ass and couldn’t tell him.
He eyed me and tapped his finger on his lips. “And you’re not queer, right?”
“No, I’m…” Fuck, fuck, fuck! I mumbled, “Maybe, uh, questioning.”
“What?” He grabbed my arm, pulling me closer as the line shortened. “Did I hear you right? Is that why you’re open to going to the gay bar tonight?” His eyes twinkled. “You want to see what it’s all about, don’t you?” He barked a laugh and then halted, his gaze laser-focused on me. “Does Tex know?”
I shrugged a shoulder. “Yeah.” I was in it now. Why the hell had I said that? Because Dante should know. It was mean-spirited not to tell him after what he’d admitted. But fuck if I could utter the truth aloud. “We’ve, uh, we’ve discussed it.”
With his eyes narrowing, Dante said, “This explains a lot.” He pulled me closer to the counter as the line moved. “I see how he looks at you. He wants you.” Twisting his lips, he said, “Has he made any moves on you? Because I know Tex, he won’t unless he’s certain. He’s careful like that.”
Oh my God, I was dying inside. How the hell was I supposed to handle this? “Um, no, he hasn’t.” My heart stung. I was such a fucking liar. I had to talk to someone. My therapist? Evan? Evan. “Hey, I need to use the restroom. Can you grab my beer?” I pulled out my wallet and handed him some money.
“Sure. Meet me by the condiment stand over there.” He pointed to it.
“Okay.” Keeping my head down, I tramped toward the restroom sign and then ducked into a hallway right next to it. Dante couldn’t have seen me.
Slipping my phone from my jeans pocket, I called Evan and pressed the phone to my ear.
The phone rang once and clicked. “Hey, dude. The game isn’t over yet, is it?”
As my pulse spiked, I said, “No, but I’m in trouble and I don’t know what to do.” Holy fuck, I had to come out to Dante, didn’t I? Why was it such a goddamned big deal?
“Trouble? Are you okay? Did you get hurt?” He snickered. “Are you in a jail cell for beating up Tex’s ex?”
“No, stop it.” I released a sharp laugh despite myself. “Dante confessed to me he wants Tex back.” I breathed through the squeezing in my chest. “He asked me if Tex is seeing anyone and I admitted to him I was questioning and oh fuck, I have to tell him the truth, don’t I?”
“Jesus, Colton, slow down.” He paused. “This is what I was afraid of, except I figured it would be the gay bar that would force it from you.”
“What do I have to lose if I tell Dante the truth?” I sucked my lower lip between my teeth as I leaned my shoulder against the cool masonry wall.
“That depends. Are you ready for this? What would your therapist say?”
“I don’t know. I’ve only seen him once.” Rolling against the wall, I bumped my forehead against it a few times before straightening and pacing the hallway. “It’s not fair to Dante if I don’t tell him.”
“This isn’t about Dante. It’s about you.” He huffed. “Damn it, Colton. For once, consider what’s best for you.”
“But I don’t know what’s best for me.” Hanging my head, the dirty floor blurred under my feet.
How was I such a mess inside? This didn’t make any damned sense.
Here I was with a man who was gay, a man who would understand.
Well, except that I was in a relationship with the man he wanted…
but he’d understand. This shouldn’t be scary as fuck.
“Listen, Colton, obviously you’re still torn over this. For now, let it rest. Then, if it feels like the right time, say something to Dante. At least talk to Tex first and let him know how you’re feeling.”
“But then I’ll have to tell Tex his ex wants him back.” My throat clenched. “What if Tex decides he wants Dante back too?” I’d die. I’d crawl into a hole and die.
“I seriously don’t think that will happen. I saw the way Tex looks at you, the way he dotes on you. Colton, Tex is a man in love. He’s just waiting for you to be ready.”
I stopped pacing the hallway as my breath hitched. Was he right? Evan was smart about this stuff. “You think?”
“Yes, I wouldn’t say it otherwise.” His tone lightened.
“Now, calm down, take a breath, and then enjoy the game. Talk about something else with Dante. Shift the topic of conversation if he brings it up again and speak with Tex before you say anything. You don’t have to tell him Dante wants him back.
Hell, just tell Tex you’re ready to tell Dante the truth. ”
I mulled over his words. My anxiety was making me overthink this. “Yeah, okay. Thanks, Evan.”
“Anytime. Go Devils.” He chuckled. “Let me know how it goes.”
“I will. Win your game tonight.” As my nerves wound down, I strolled toward the concourse and the people walking by with their drinks and food. I could do this.
“Thanks, Colton. Talk to you later.”
“Yep, bye.” I ended the call and met Dante at the condiments. With a smile, I said, “We better hurry back before the second half starts.”
“Absolutely.” He handed me my beer and change. “After you.” He swung his arm out.
I focused on the game with Dante and watched ASU win by a field goal in the last thirty seconds. After, we texted with Tex and met him at Four-One-Four pizza for a quick meal before heading to the gay bar. It made little sense to go all the way home just to return.
Stepping inside the pizza place, I held the door for Dante. How long would it take for Tex’s post-game regimen? I didn’t want Dante to bring up how much he wanted Tex back.
“Booth along the wall?” With a chuckle, Dante met the hostess.
“Yeah, sure.” We’d been here a lot. But the pizza was good, so there was that.
Dante motioned for me to follow him, and he strolled to the back wall, then slid into a booth seat while I took a chair opposite him.
We ordered a pitcher of beer and then scanned the menu. “Hey, do you want to try something different?” Would Tex like that?
“Sure, what do you have in mind?” He lifted the menu, covering his face.
“How about the barbecue chicken pizza?” It might be less greasy, and after the hot dogs, I could do with less grease. I watched the server drop off our beer. “Do you think Tex will like that?”
With a snicker, he set his menu down and said, “Are you kidding? He’s from Texas.
He likes anything barbecue. Let’s get it.
” He ordered the pizza and then poured beers for us.
“It’ll probably take Tex about an hour to get here.
I’m sure they have a team meeting after the game.
Plus, he’ll have to take an ice bath and shower. ”
Ice bath? He sure knew a lot about Tex and football. “Oh.” I nodded and picked up my beer. Hopefully, Tex would hurry.
“I researched The Club on Mill. It looks like it’s a lot more mellow during the day. People go in and shoot pool and stuff.” He sipped his beer. “So, if we go there early, it should be a lot tamer and you won’t encounter the usual club debauchery.” He snickered.
What was he talking about? “Yeah? I guess that’s good.” I drank my beer.
“When’s the last time you went to a nightclub?” He leaned back in his seat, resting his forearm across the table.
Was the place in Scottsdale considered a nightclub? Probably not. “Um…I don’t think I’ve ever been to one. I don’t even hang out in bars much.”
“Oh, honey…” With his brows raised, he pitched forward. “All these years in college and you’ve never been clubbing?”
“Uh, nope.” I shook my head. I wasn’t about to explain my control issues to him or the fact I’d used up my quota of partying the year after my mom died.
“If we can get Tex to stay long enough, you’re in for a treat then.” He gave me a warm smile. “Tex will probably be tired after his game. He played hard out there tonight.”
“He did.” I glanced at the entrance. When would he get here?