Chapter 2
TWO
WREN
“How the hell did I end up at the same school as Eli fucking Dawson?” Shaking my head, I huffed and stuffed a forkful of scrambled egg whites into my mouth.
Sure, I’d only transferred here last year after I’d completed two years at community college.
This was a large school, and I refused to watch any college football because of him.
But seriously? My gaze landed on Grace. This was all her fault.
With a sigh, she bit into a bagel with cream cheese spread across the top. “I can’t believe Eli was your boyfriend in high school.” Her blue-eyed gaze swept the diner. “Where’s our server? I need more coffee.”
“Grace, he’s an asshole. What he did was intolerable.” I pressed my lips together. “He told me he loved me and then said nothing when his friends said shitty things about me.” It was still hard to talk about.
She focused on me, her brows knitting. “Okay, you’ve never mentioned Eli before. Let’s break this down, shall we? Start from the beginning, so I can help.” She swiped her blonde bang from her forehead and tucked it behind her ear. “I’m here to listen.”
I relaxed my spine. I’d only met Grace last year, when I’d started at ASU.
But we’d become fast friends and now roommates.
“I know. It’s just…maybe I should have stuck with gymnastics after all.
The ankle sprains weren’t so bad.” Except they had been, and my left ankle had a permanent ache.
At least the tumbling I did now wasn’t nearly as harsh or frequent.
And I loved the dance moves. I sipped some orange juice.
Tapping my plate, she said, “Don’t go off on a tangent. Tell me what happened. Start to finish.”
Huffing an exhale, I pushed eggs around my plate.
“I met Eli in chemistry class in my senior year. He was an adorable hunk of a man—tall, dark, handsome, big muscles—just my type.” I pursed my lips as the old familiar ache twisted my heart.
“I vibed with him, and it was obvious he wasn’t straight.
” My gaze met hers. “Sometimes, you just know.”
“I know, gaydar.” She chuckled and licked cream cheese from her finger. “And?” She lifted her brows.
“And we kissed during a study session.” I breathed through the pain in my chest. “I fell so hard and so fast for him.” Shaking my head, I worried my lower lip.
“I thought we’d be together forever. I thought I’d be one of those people who marries their high school sweetheart and lives happily ever after. ”
She rolled her eyes. “You bought into the fairytale princess bullshit.” After flagging the server for more coffee, she picked up her mug and sipped it.
“Yeah, whatever. I bought into him. He was so…” My vision blurred as I stared across the kitschy restaurant with all its red vinyl booths and checkered tiles. “He was dreamy, and he told me everything I wanted to hear. But of course, there was one problem.”
“Let me guess, he didn’t want to come out?” With a nod, she poked her fork into a piece of melon and ate it.
“He feared his father wouldn’t accept him.” I drank some coffee, the caffeine buzz feeding my foul mood. “He acted as if I didn’t know what that was like.” I harrumphed. “But my fucking father moved to California and barely talks to me.”
She waved her fork at me. “But he sends you money on your birthday.” She offered a thin-lipped grin.
“One-hundred dollars. The guy is worth millions.” I leaned forward.
“Since both my grandparents died, he lives in a paid-for house in the East Bay and inherited a small fortune. My grandpa was in the oil business.” Maybe having my father reject me had fueled some of my hatred of Eli?
“You know he only paid child support to my mother after the courts jailed him for not paying. It was only two-hundred dollars a month. He’s a software engineer. He could afford more.”
“You’re off on another tangent. Let’s stick to the issue with Eli.” She popped more melon into her mouth.
I clamped my mouth shut. She was right, but that wasn’t the point.
“What exactly did Eli witness the guys say when he didn’t defend you?” She slathered cream cheese on the other half of her bagel.
Taking a deep breath, I straightened my spine. “They called me a butt muncher and a fudge packer and made other lewd sexual remarks about me.”
Her eyes widened, and her gaze hardened. “Who the hell says shit like that?”
“Right? And the worst part? Eli didn’t say a word.” I stabbed my index finger on the table. “He could have said something simple, like, hey, that’s not cool, or, or, something.” I sucked in a breath through my nose. “He could have called them out and let them know their behavior was unacceptable.”
“Did he go along with it? Like, did he add to the slurs?” With her brows lowered, she set her bagel on her plate.
“Not that I know of. My high school friend only told me he kept quiet while it went on.” My pulse raced. I picked up my coffee, looked inside the mug and set it down. I didn’t need more caffeine.
“How the hell didn’t you know he played football here?” Her face relaxed, and she ate some bagel.
“After I broke up with him, I blocked him everywhere and avoided him. If I saw him somewhere, I left. I knew he’d get a scholarship for football somewhere, but I swore everyone who knew me to secrecy.
It…it was too hurtful to know, and the only way for me to get over him was to pretend he never existed.
” I scooped eggs onto my fork and ate them.
I shouldn’t let this conversation stop me from eating breakfast.
“Wow, you really hated him.” She drank some juice.
“I can’t believe I didn’t bump into him last year, but I’m in the business college. I doubt he’s studying business. Psychology has always fascinated him.” I barked out a laugh. “Can you believe that? Which tells me he knew better, but—”
“You said he feared coming out. Maybe that’s what drove him to stay silent.” She let out a long exhale. “Anyway, I’m glad you joined the Spirit Squad with me this year.”
“Yeah, but now I have to see Eli at every game.” I tsked and ate a piece of melon. How the hell after all these years did it still hurt to see him?
“What will you do about him? Do you think you’ll ever talk to him?” She sipped some coffee.
“No, I’ll stay away from him. Talking to him isn’t worth it.” And would only bring up feelings I’d buried long ago. I sighed and slumped my shoulders, then stuffed eggs into my mouth.
“We’ll be traveling with the team this weekend. Do you really think you can avoid him? What if he wants to talk to you?” She cocked her head, her gaze raking over me. “What if he’s changed? I’m pretty sure he’s out now. He lives with a couple of other queer football players. They call themselves—”
“Stop.” I held my palm to her. “I don’t want to know. He’s dead to me.” I lifted my chin. “I wouldn’t talk to him even if he cornered me somewhere.” It was better this way.
With a huff, she said, “God, you’re so dramatic sometimes.” She giggled and reached across the table to squeeze my hand. “But I love you, anyway.”
“Yeah, love you, too.” I grabbed her hand for a beat and released it.
“Let’s finish our breakfast and go back to our apartment.
I have studying to do for my digital marketing class.
” And so far, it was my favorite. I had a knack for content and had gained a ton of followers on Instagram. Maybe I could be an influencer someday?
“Sure. Just…” She pressed her lips together. “Don’t be so harsh on the guy if he wants to mend things. You never know what someone else is going through.”
“You’re supposed to be on my side.” I lifted a brow. “Besides, I’m sure he’s forgotten about me.” Pain pierced my chest. If only my brain would keep him out of my dreams. He’d returned to them with a vengeance after seeing him last night. It wasn’t good for me.
A few days later, I sat on the sofa in the two-bedroom apartment just off campus I shared with Grace, reading a book on marketing research.
It was boring as fuck, but necessary. My phone buzzed on the cushion next to me, and I smiled as I read the name on my screen.
I answered the call. “Hey, Mom. What’s up? ”
“I didn’t catch you at a bad time, did I?” she asked.
“Nope. In fact, you saved me from falling asleep while reading.” I folded the corner of the page I was on and closed the book, resting it in my lap.
“It wasn’t for class, was it?”
“Uh, yeah. But don’t worry, I’m getting decent grades.” I glanced at the white coffee table and my water bottle resting on top of it. One thing I’d noticed out here in the desert, drinking enough water was almost a full-time job.
“Good. And how is cheerleading going?” She chuckled. “Do you like it as much as gymnastics?”
“I’m…” Oh hell, should I mention Eli? She understood the situation better than anyone. She’d pulled me from the depths of my heartbreak. Nope, he was dead to me and not worth our time.
“Wren? You still there?”
“Yes, Mom. Cheerleading is fun. I’m having a good time with it. The tumbling isn’t as rigorous, so my ankle is feeling great.” Okay, it wasn’t perfect, but when compared to competing in gymnastics, it was much better. I circled my ankle, noting the lack of pain.
“That’s good to hear. Your birthday was last week. Did you hear anything from your father?” she asked.
“Nope, just a card with a hundred dollars in it.” My chest twinged. I hadn’t called him, even though it was my birthday.
“Oh, I’m sorry, honey. I don’t know why he’s like that. He was always a selfish man.” She huffed.
“I’m sure it has something to do with me being gay.” I picked at a string on the hem of my t-shirt. He’d said little when I came out to him, but who knew what he’d been thinking?
“He wasn’t around even before he knew. I don’t think that’s the cause.” She clucked her tongue. “It’s like he’s still trying to punish me for divorcing him. Except he’s only hurting himself and you.”