Chapter 4 #2
“You’re worried about him.” She crossed her legs and angled toward me. “They let him play, so whatever happened couldn’t have been that bad.”
“I know.” I bit my lower lip. “He told me he still has feelings for me.” There, I’d said it out loud, the words that had been rolling around in my head for hours.
“He did?” Her eyes lit. “That’s great, isn’t it?” She touched my forearm lying on the armrest between us.
“I don’t know.” I stared at the tray in the seat ahead of me and fidgeted with the clasp. “What should I do with that? I’m not sure what he wants from me.” If he asked me to date again, could I?
With a scoff, she said, “Are you stupid? If your ex tells you he still has feelings for you, he obviously wants to date you again.” She snickered. “God, Wren, can’t you see that?”
“I…maybe I don’t want to, to see it.” I hung my head as butterflies took flight in my stomach. Apparently, part of me wanted it. But my brain said no. “How could I ever trust him again?”
“Do you really think he hasn’t matured since high school?
He volunteers at the LGBTQ helpline. He’s out now, right?
You wouldn’t be hiding.” She lowered her brows.
“I know you feel something for him. I saw it when he got hurt tonight. You can’t fool me.
” With a huff, she crossed her arms. “All you do is hook up with guys or date for a few days and then poof, there’s something wrong with them.
” She turned her hard gaze on me. “Pull your head out of your ass and quit punishing the guy.”
I stared at her, my mouth falling open. “Harsh much?” I glared at the back of my seat, clenching my fists. She was right, as usual. “I don’t even know if that’s what he wants. Maybe he just wants to be friends or to bury the hatchet.”
“God, you frustrate me sometimes.” She slipped her phone from the seat pocket in front of her and opened the app for the movies. “Let me know when you come to your senses.”
“Fine.” I leaned my head against the window frame and closed my eyes. Maybe I could sleep this argument away.
Midweek, I strolled to the campus Starbucks in between classes. I had a craving for a pumpkin-spiced latte, and I’d kept from asking Grace for Eli’s number all week. I deserved a treat. After opening the door, I stepped into the cool, retro darkness of the coffee shop.
As my gaze snagged Eli’s dark head of hair at the counter, I froze. Damn it, I shouldn’t have seen him until the game this weekend. What the hell? I’d come in here all last year and never seen him.
Twisting, I glanced at the door. Maybe I should leave?
“Wren,” Eli’s deep voice said. “Hey.” He grasped my arm and turned me to face him. “Come on, have a coffee with me.” He ticked his head at the counter. “I don’t have class for an hour.”
“Fine.” I wanted to know what had happened to him last weekend. With a deep breath, I strolled to the counter and ordered my drink.
As Eli’s name was called, he grabbed his coffee and sat at a dark wood table by the window, and then watched me, like I would run off on him.
Hell, I just might. No, I had to face this. There would be more games, more hard hits and traveling with him. We had to come to an agreement.
The barista called my name, and I picked up my drink and dropped in across from Eli, then set my backpack on the floor. “How are you feeling after that crappy hit on Saturday?” I’d start there. Maybe I could keep it friendly and avoid any talk of feelings.
“I’m fine.” He rubbed the heel of his hand across his chest. “A little sore still, but that’s all. The fucker knocked the wind out of me.” He sipped his coffee. “How are you doing?”
“Fine.” Awkward. I glanced out the window and into the relentless sunshine, bleeding the color from the landscape of palms and desert plants. It wouldn’t feel like fall until next month, if we were lucky.
“What are you studying?” His gaze trailed over me and stopped at my mouth.
“Marketing.” I focused on his generous lips and the hint of stubble surrounding them. What would it feel like to kiss him again? He’d always been an amazing kisser. “How about you?”
“Psychology.” He chuckled. “I don’t know what I’ll do with it, but it interests me.” His gaze followed a couple as they left the coffee shop. “I’m headed into the draft in the spring. I’m hoping for an NFL contract.”
“With the way you played on Saturday, you’ll get one.” What the hell did I know about football? I was blowing smoke up his ass. Why? It’s not like I needed to compliment him. I sipped my coffee, the spicy pumpkin mixing with cream on my tongue.
“You still love pumpkin spice.” A sly grin crept across his lips. “I’ll bet you only get them when you’re treating yourself. What’s the occasion?” His grin grew wider.
Not being weak and getting your phone number? With a shoulder shrug, I said, “Nothing, I just hadn’t had one for a while and wanted it. I’m not a gymnast anymore, and I don’t have to watch everything I put in my mouth.” I twisted my lips. “Well, not as much.”
“Yeah, you look like you’ve filled out.” He winced. “I mean…”
“My body fat percentage is about two percent higher than when I was competing in gymnastics.” And I wasn’t sad about it. It was nice to eat burgers and shit occasionally. And sugary coffees, which…I drank some coffee.
“Why did you switch to cheer?” He ran his index finger around the lid of his cup.
“My ankle was giving me problems. It became chronic, and I had to keep it taped whenever I practiced or competed.” I freed a long sigh. “It’s not like I was an Olympic hopeful. I never planned on competing after college.”
“So why cheer?” He sipped his coffee.
“My roommate is in cheer, and she suggested it.” I sat back in my chair, forcing my body to relax. This wasn’t so hard. We could be civil. “They needed more tumblers, so I tried out. She’d coached me first. But I got in.”
“Cool.” He nodded, fixating on me. “When did you come to ASU? Have you been here the entire time I have?” His brows dipped.
“No, I went to community college and got my associate degree first.” I didn’t have the full-ride scholarship he would have had. “I came here last year and found Grace on the message boards, looking for a roommate. We hit it off right away.” And a dude might have had a problem with my sexuality.
Furrowing his brows, he twisted his drink on the table. “I can’t find you on social media anywhere except on the ASU Spirit Squad accounts.” His gaze rose to mine.
My chest twinged. Fuck, I’d have to tell him the truth. “I blocked you after what happened. I didn’t want to know anything about you.”
Flinching, he gave me a slow nod. “Yeah, okay. I guess that explains it.” He sipped his drink. “Think you could unblock me now, or is it too soon?” A thin-lipped smile teased his mouth.
“I suppose so.” Shit, might as well get his number from Grace too. How would I keep from looking at his social media accounts? I drank more coffee, the caffeine buzzing inside me. “I’m still thinking about things.”
“You are?” He leaned back in his chair and combed his fingers through his dark bangs. “Does that mean there’s a chance?” He focused on my mouth.
My stomach fluttered. Should I ask what he meant this time? “A-a chance for what exactly?” Narrowing my eyes, I clenched my coffee cup. Maybe I should have played stupid.
“A chance for us to become friends, maybe more?” The corner of his mouth ticked, and under his breath, he said, “More would be better.”
My brows snapped up. “More, like you want to be boyfriends again?” Fuck my mouth. Why did I have to blurt that out?
Shrugging, he said, “We don’t have to be boyfriends right away, but maybe just date? Start over?” His forehead wrinkled. “I still have—”
“I know, Eli.” With a soft scoff, my gaze darted across the table, and my heart warmed. If I heard him say it again, I’d give in. I knew it. I had to stop this.
“Okay, then let’s be friends.” His lips bowed down. “It’s obvious you aren’t ready for more. But maybe I can change that.” He glanced at the counter, where a clock rested on the wall. “Shit, I have to run to class.”
Had we been sitting here for an hour already? “Okay. Guess I’ll see you around?”
“Yeah.” He stood and hoisted his backpack over his muscled shoulder. “Hug?” He held his arms out.
Fuck. “Sure.” Rising, I fell into his wide chest, his arms surrounding me in warmth, his cologne stirring memories.
My heart fluttered like a wild bird as I wrapped my arms around his waist. He was so big compared to me, at least seven inches taller.
As my body melted into his, I rested my head on his chest.
He sniffed my hair and tightened his hold on me. “It feels so good, doesn’t it?”
It did, but I couldn’t admit it. “Don’t you have to go?” I released him and stepped back.
“Yeah.” Looking around him, he plucked his drink from the table and gave me a warm grin. “Let’s have lunch or dinner sometime. My treat. Just let me know when you’re available. You know where to get my number.” With a quick wag of his brows, he strolled out the door and into the sunshine.
“Fuck. Me.” I fought to still the crazy beat of my heart, taking deep inhales. I was in so much trouble. How could I get out of this?