Chapter 6 #2
“Not that fast. My dad later admitted to sitting down with Gary and getting his perspective on life. Gary saved my relationship with my father. I don’t think he would have come around if it hadn’t been for him.”
Nodding, I ate a piece of salmon nigiri.
“I knew your dad was a man’s man, but I didn’t think he’d take it as hard as he did.
” I pushed my lips together. “Again, I’m sorry, Eli.
I should have believed you when you said your parents wouldn’t take it well.
” I’d put him in an awful place. Maybe what happened wasn’t all his fault.
“What about your mom? Is she still drawing blood at the doctor’s office?
“She is.” With a nod, he drank his beer. “She’ll be there until she retires.”
“Did you ever tell them what happened between us?” His parents had always been nice to me, but they didn’t know I was fooling around with their son, or that I’d broken his heart when it happened. Well, we’d broken each other’s hearts. I ate more food.
“Yes, I told my mom about it. My dad isn’t interested in shit like that.
My dad only likes to talk about grades and football.
” He sipped his water. “She’d wondered why I’d been so down before I left and assumed it was from the weight of coming out to them.
” He sucked in a breath. “She felt sorry for me.”
“Shit, does she hate me?” I popped a roll into my mouth. If I ever met her again, would she say something about it? I’d probably never see her again, so I had nothing to worry about.
He tapped his chopsticks on his lips. “I don’t know, but you hurt her baby boy, so she might.” He raised the corner of his lips.
“Great.” My chest tensed. “My mom wasn’t happy with you either.” She knew what had happened when it happened.
“I don’t blame her.” He bit his lower lip as he studied me. “Will you go home for Christmas?”
“Probably. I don’t see why I wouldn’t.” I eyed him. Why was he bringing that up? It was a few months away.
“Okay.” He dipped a piece of tuna nigiri into his soy sauce mixture. “I don’t know. If we become close, maybe we can hang out at home. It’s been a long time.”
I lifted my brows. He was making plans for the future? Was this a date?
“How’s Ethan doing? Is he still stuck in Medford?” He sipped his beer.
“Yep, he’s still there. We went to community college together, and he got his associates in IT and now works as a teller at my mom’s bank.” I had to call him and update him on Eli. I ate more food.
“Good for him. I never held it against him when he told you what happened.” He worried his lower lip. “He was always a good friend to you. Loyal.”
“Yes, he is.” Ethan would be happy to see me back together with Eli, but I’d keep it to myself. I peered at him, watching me intently. What did he want from this? I shifted in my seat. “Eli, what—”
“I want us to be friends again and maybe more. I’m hoping for more.
” His full attention drew to me, and he laid his chopsticks across his plate.
“It’s like I told you. I still have feelings for you.
The instant I saw you on the field, it was like…
” He looked away for a beat. “My heart felt like it was ripped from my chest.”
I dropped my mouth open. Fuck, how should I take this? I’d felt the same way, hadn’t I?
“Is there a chance, Wren?” His brows creased as he reached across the table and grasped my hand. “Don’t you feel anything for me?”
I gaped, emotions rolling through my heart. Yes… “I-I don’t know yet.” I was a fucking liar, but I wasn’t ready to open up to him. “I need time.”
“So, there’s a chance.” He squeezed my hand, freed it and then combed his fingers through his dark hair. “Is there anything between you and Jackson?”
“Jackson? No.” A soft chuckle rumbled in my throat. “He’s just a study partner. He’s bisexual, but he’s dating a girl right now, and we’re just friends.” He’d been jealous of Jackson?
Squirming in his seat, Eli said, “Good. Keep it that way.” With a click of his tongue, he said, “I don’t want to see you with anyone else. I can’t help it.” His gaze locked on mine.
I knitted my brows. Was he serious right now? It wasn’t like we were dating. “Eli, this isn’t a date, right?”
“It’s…” He fisted his hand on the table. “No, it’s not a date.”
Had I angered him? So what? We weren’t together. “Eli, let’s be friends for now, and we’ll see what happens.” I swallowed hard. I already knew what would happen. Eventually he’d break me down and I’d fall for him again. It was inevitable. But for now, I’d keep some distance between us.
“Sure.” He took a deep inhale. “I’m sorry. I can’t seem to control myself where you’re involved.” He wiped his mouth with a napkin.
It was how he’d been in high school that had attracted me to him. Jesus, I was in trouble. I should start with a lighter topic. “Hey, remember the time your mom came home early from shopping—”
“And almost walked in on us?” A smile swept across his face. “You hid under my bed, naked, until I could get her out of my room.”
“She bought you new clothing, as I recall, and wanted you to try it all on to be sure it fit. I thought I’d be under the damn bed for hours.” I chuckled. It had been hella dusty under there, and it had been a miracle I hadn’t sneezed.
He snickered, drank some beer and then said, “She always complained that I grew out of my clothing every few months. I don’t know what she expected. I had to gain muscle to be scouted.”
“Yeah, you were the biggest guy on the team by your senior year.” And the sexiest. I ran my gaze across his body, the thick arms and wide chest, my cock waking.
Damn it, he still did it for me in the best way.
But he was even larger now and had the angled jaw of a man.
My balls tingled, and heat filled my belly. Settle yourself, Wren.
He gave me a coy grin and then licked the corner of his mouth. “Remember the time I blew you in the locker room?”
Shit, no way for my dick to stand down now. I adjusted my swelling cock inside my shorts. “Yeah, that was hot.” If I started dating him, could we try it again? Damn, my desire for him was getting ahead of my heart.
“You always said I gave the best blowjobs.” He waggled his brows as he sipped his beer and then shimmied in his seat.
My cock ached. Was he as hard as I was? “You, uh, you did.” And he was the one I’d compared every blowjob to since. No one understood me the way he did. Shit, this conversation needed to switch gears again. “Anyway.”
“Yeah…” His lips tensed, and he poured more beer into my glass. “We had some fun times, didn’t we?”
“We did.” I drank the fresh beer and plucked another piece of roll off a plate. “This weekend’s game is against Texas State.” I ate the sushi.
“It’ll be a tough one, but I think we can pull it off.” He sucked his lower lip between his teeth. “You know, my buddies and I sometimes go to the gay bar on Mill after a game. Maybe you could join us?” He stuffed a roll into his mouth.
I eyed him. I’d only visited the place a few times last year with Grace, but we’d enjoyed it. How much more enjoyable would it be with queer guys? “Okay.”
After more light conversation with Eli and gossiping about friends back home, we walked to the parking lot. We’d parked in similar areas, so I wouldn’t assume he was walking me to my car. As we reached my Toyota Corolla, we stopped.
“You have the same car your mom helped you buy in high school.” Facing me, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and gave me a warm smile.
“I do. Are you still driving that old beat-up Ford your dad gave you?” My gaze swept the parking lot and stopped on what looked like the truck.
“I am. It’s easy to fix.” He bit his lower lip, his gaze resting on my mouth. “I had a pleasant time with you tonight.”
“Yeah? Me too.” My breath quickened as I focused on his wet, plump lips. Not only were his hugs and his blowjobs the best, he was also a great kisser. But we weren’t—
Locked on me, he placed his hand on my shoulder and caressed it. Leaning in, he brushed his lips across my mouth.
Oh, my God…I turned my head.
He kissed my cheek and then pulled away, skimming his hand down the back of his hair. “I’m uh, sorry. I thought.” He huffed a sigh. “I thought it would be okay.”
“It’s, I don’t know. I’m not ready.” My heart pattered into my ears. I sounded stupid. We’d been lovers once, and I couldn’t kiss him goodbye now? But it meant more than goodbye. It was a promise of more, and I wasn’t positive I could give it to him yet.
“Yeah, okay.” He clenched his jaw for a beat and then grinned. “I’ll see you at the game on Saturday.”
“Yes, see you at the game.” Between school, practices and the team dinner tomorrow night, we’d have no time to hang out before then. An ache ghosted across my heart. “And I’m looking forward to the gay bar on Saturday night.”
“Me too.” Hanging his head, he said, “Goodnight, Wren. Drive safe.” He took a step away and twisted, his brows wrinkling. “Can you text me when you get home, so I know you made it okay?”
“Sure.” It was only a few miles, but this was Eli, always concerned about me. I’d always felt so safe with him…until the day I didn’t. The one time he didn’t have my back. A pang cut through my chest as I opened my car door. Yeah, it still hurt, after all this.
After driving home, I’d texted Eli to let him know I’d made it and dropped onto the sofa. Grace’s door was closed, and her car had been in the lot, so she must be in bed. I needed someone to talk to after the dinner with Eli. I held up my phone and called Ethan. Knowing him, he’d still be awake.
The phone rang a few times and clicked.
“Dude, what’s up?” Ethan asked.
“Hey, just calling to see how you’re doing.” Okay, lie, but I’d start there. “My mom said you got a job as a bank teller?” I settled in, tucking my legs to the side.
“I did. The pay is okay, but I’m hoping to take some classes for a certification and then see if I can get something closer to IT work.”
“Yeah, you shouldn’t let your degree go to waste.” I glanced toward the hallway where the bedrooms were. I should talk softly to keep from waking Grace up. Plus, if she heard me talking about Eli, she’d be out here in an instant.
“So…why are you really calling me? It’s late.”
With one side of my lips curling, I said, “I, uh, had dinner with Eli. We’ve been talking.” My heart warmed as our almost-kiss floated through my head. Damn it, I had to put him in the friend zone.
“I’m proud of you. It’s progress. Have you forgiven him then?” Ethan asked.
“A bit. It still hurts though.” I played with the hem of my T-shirt. “Eli’s done little things for me, like buy me flowers and bring me treats.” I had to give Eli kudos for trying.
“He’s courting you. Does he want to date again?”
With a slow nod, I said, “Yes, he said as much, and things are different now. He’s out to his family.” Then what was my problem?
“What do you want? Do you think you can move beyond what happened and not let it ruin a future with him?”
Damn, sometimes he was spot on. “I think that's the problem. I don’t know.” I’d spent almost four years building hate in my heart for him. I gritted my teeth. How could I release it after a few discussions and presents?
“I guess only time will tell then.” He inhaled deeply. “If he’s out to his parents though, it sounds like the problems you had in high school are gone.”
“True.” I tucked my lower lip between my teeth and released it. “I’m going to a gay bar with him and his football buddies after the game on Saturday.” What would he think of that?
Bursting into a sharp laugh, he said, “Dude, seriously? You know what’ll happen. You two will get drunk, dance and then someone’s getting laid.”
“Stop. I can control myself better than that.” A smile spread across my lips. I’d have to watch myself, or he’d be right.
“Wren, when’s the last time you got laid? I haven’t heard you talk about any other guys since school started again.”
“I don’t know. Last summer when I met the guy at the pool hall?” I didn’t even remember his name and had been pretty sure he wasn’t out. With a sigh, I sank deeper into the couch.
“You got lucky that night, and I didn’t. I don’t know how you do it.” He snorted. “Anyway, I hope you have a good time on Saturday night and please don’t overthink it.”
“You know that’s impossible.” I chuckled. “I’m already overthinking it.” Which was why I called him.
“Okay, so see how it unfolds and only do what’s comfortable for you. I know you. If you’re uncertain about him, you’ll pull back again.” He huffed. “Don’t get hurt again.”
“I’ll try not to.” I pressed my lips together. But with love, there were no guarantees. I’d have to control myself on Saturday, but it would be hard. “Thanks, Ethan.” My head was a little clearer now.
“You’re welcome. Now go to bed. You have school in the morning, young man.” He snickered.
“Yes, Dad.” With a soft chuckle, I glanced toward the hallway. Good, Grace hadn’t woken up. “Goodnight, Ethan.”
“Goodnight.” He ended the call.