Chapter 3
Chapter Three
ZANDER
“Fuck,” I groan, my forehead pressed against the door and my hand wrapped around my dick.
As soon as Kerian left my room, I hustled to shove my spit soaked palm into my pants to get myself off. It’s sick, he’s sick, but I couldn’t stop myself.
As soon as my hand comes in contact with my dick, my balls draw up to my body and my knees buckle. How the fuck does he have that effect on me?
I fucking hate Kerian. Always have. I don’t like confrontation. I’d rather keep the peace and go on about my business. The hype around both of us being sophomore starters was background noise. I figured we could get past the bullshit of a rivalry, and well, maybe not be friends, but not be openly hostile to each other either. But Kerian always poked at me and got under my skin. Years later, he still hasn’t stopped.
Now he’s getting under my skin in a different way. In a way that makes me question everything I thought I knew.
I’ve never thought about a man while my hand was wrapped around my dick. I’ve never wanted to know what they looked like when I was peering up at them from my knees. None of those thoughts ever crossed my mind until I slammed my lips on Kerian’s.
What a stupid thing to do. I thought I’d make Megan… I don’t know, not jealous, but pissed off? Annoyed? After her devious smile when she was wrapped around Justin, I needed to do something . But I didn’t think that something would be kissing a man and realizing my dick wanted more.
“Fuck, Kerian,” I groan, my eyes slammed shut as I play back his blue gaze boring into me while he had me choked against my door. I’ve never been the type to be manhandled. I do the manhandling, tossing girls around while I fuck them hard.
But what Kerian did to me? How he made me feel so small when we’re almost the same size? He handled me like I was as light as a feather.
That shouldn’t have been so fucking hot.
The feel of his spit on my cock—the spit he gave me because he knew I would do exactly this—sends sparks of pleasure licking across my skin, and before I know it, my back bows and I come on my hand and against my dorm room door.
I milk myself, hissing and moaning as I drain my balls.
My head swims after I’ve pulled every last drop from my body. I sag against the door, trying to catch my breath after such an intense orgasm.
Realization slams into me and I snatch my hand from my cock, scrubbing it on my shirt. “Fucking fuck,” I snarl, looking at the large glob of cum I wiped on myself.
I rush to my bedside drawer and grab some baby wipes then hurry back over. If my roommate comes back and sees what is undeniably jizz on our door, he’s going to have questions. Questions I’m not willing to answer.
I quickly clean up the cum, then myself. After tossing the wipes away, I go to my bed and lie down heavily.
Fucking Kerian.
How the hell did he know where I was? How the hell did he get into the building?
I scoff, answering that question. Bert, our dorm security guard, is the literal worst at his job. If I know him—and I think I do after almost four years in these dorms—he’s asleep, his head tipped back without a care in the world. I don’t know how he hasn’t been fired yet.
But that doesn’t answer how Kerian knew where I was. Well, the room part was easy. My roommate, Luca, got tired of walking in on me fucking, or calling him while he was in class to figure out where he was to get our room key. So he got a white board to leave me messages. That tiny fucker likes to call me Zandy and makes it a point to write it every time he leaves me a note. I love the little guy, but I wish he hadn’t this time.
I can’t believe Kerian came to my room, slammed me against the wall, touched my dick, and spit in my hand. I mean, what the fuck? He’s fucking unhinged.
Yeah, and I used that spit to jerk my cock and came harder than I ever have.
“ Fucking bullshit,” I say, punching my pillow to make it more comfortable. It’s late, and I was dozing off when Kerian barged in and made me feel shit I shouldn’t have. Now that I’ve come as hard as I did, coupled with the game, I’m beat.
That game . Fuck yes, that game. I grin as I close my eyes. We wiped the fucking floor with Meridian tonight. Kerian may have a leg up over me by barging into my room, but he had to take that L today. Because of me. My arm and my rushing yards. He had to fucking swallow that loss because he’s not better than me. If anything makes me feel better about the shitshow I’ve made of my life, it’s that.
With that thought on my mind and a smile on my face, I pull my blankets under my chin and fall asleep.
* * *
Hard knocking wakes me up, punctuated by the screeching of my name.
“The hell?” I mutter sleepily, wondering what the fuck now .
Luca looks over at me from his bed, his laptop on his knees and an innocent expression on his face. “I think there’s someone at the door for you.”
“I know that, smart ass,” I mumble, tossing my legs over the side of my bed and putting my head in my hands. “Why didn’t you answer?”
He shrugs. “I didn’t think you’d want whoever that is waking you up with more than yelling if I let them in.”
Good point.
“Zander! Open this fucking door right fucking noooooooooowwwww!”
Fucking Megan. No one else has a flair for the dramatics like she does. What is she upset about at—I check my phone on my desk—nine thirty in the morning? She broke up with me . She’s been cheating on me . I’m the one who was fucked over. Why is she screeching and yelling like a fucking banshee outside my dorm room?
Sighing, I push off the bed. When I throw the door open, Megan shoves me in my chest, wiping away any traces of sleep. “You asshole! You fucking asshole!”
“What the fuck?” I grab both of her wrists when she tries to shove me again. Her hands are incapacitated, but that doesn’t stop her from trying to kick me. “Fucking quit before I call fucking security. You can’t be mad at me. You’re the one who cheated.”
“Oh please, Zander. Don’t flatter yourself. You and Slade deserve each other.” The words sound like she means them, but I see the flash of hurt in her gaze. Good. That’s what the fuck she deserves.
I was a good guy to her. I might have bitched about Kerian some, but I took her on dates—some I couldn’t really afford, but I wanted her to have the best—helped with her routine, supported her when she wanted to switch majors, and made time for her even when I was exhausted after practice. What did I get in return? Cheating.
She snatches her hands away, slamming them on her hips. “I knew you were a selfish asshole, but I didn’t think you’d stoop this low.”
“The fuck are you talking about?”
“You fucking flattened my tires because I’m with Justin. I know it was you.”
What? There’s no way I’d do something like that. Namely because I couldn’t afford to pay for any repairs. I get most of my money from my scholarship, and my car belonged to my dad before he died. I know how much tires cost, and though I know Megan could afford to replace them, it would hurt something inside me to slash them.
Besides, why would I flatten her tires, knowing she would suspect me first? That’s an amateur move.
She pushes me in the chest again and I grab her wrists, pulling her towards the door.
I toss her out into the hall, meeting her blazing eyes. “I was here all night after the game. You can check with Bert, he’ll tell you. Out of all the years you’ve known me, even when someone has done something fucked up to me—” I glare hard at her but she doesn’t look like she gives a fuck—“I’ve never damaged their property or gotten into a fight. If you know nothing else about me, you know that.”
Her eyebrows dip as if she’s confused. Everyone knows I don’t like to fight or argue. I will if I have to, but it’s not my style.
“If it wasn’t you, then who was it?” she asks, her arms crossed over her chest.
“Don’t know. Could be one of the bitches Justin was fucking while he was fucking you.” With that, I slam the door in her face, but not before I catch her bewildered then angry expression.
I lie back down on my bed and throw my arm over my eyes.
“Sorry about Megan,” Luca says, his slight weight registering beside me. “Are you okay?”
I shrug but don’t move my arm. “I’ll live. Ain’t shit I can do about it.” I peek at him. “You got a girl?”
“No. I spend too much time studying to date. If I want to get into grad school, I need to focus on my grades. I’ll find someone after I have my PhD.”
Sitting up, I throw my arm around his shoulders. “Make sure they deserve you, Luca. Don’t date who you should , but who you want.”
“Thank you, oh wise one,” he says with a roll of his eyes. “And I know you didn’t mess with her car. If you need an alibi or?—”
“Nah, don’t worry about it. I didn’t do anything, so you don’t have to lie about being here. Thanks for having my back, though.” He smiles at me and bumps my shoulder.
My phone rings. Luca nods towards it and stands. “Answer your phone—I need to finish this essay.”
He walks over to his side of the room as I grab my phone. I grumble when I see my brother’s name pop up on the screen. I already know what he’s going to say.
For hours last night before I crashed, I watched the sports recap of our game. Front and center was the kiss I shared with Kerian. From the outside looking in, you’d think we’d locked lips before. Our kiss looked familiar, like we’ve been together and known each other’s mouths for an eternity.
There’s no way Colson is calling for anything else.
Blowing out a fortifying breath, I answer my phone with, “Colson.”
“You know, I watched the game so I could see you win, not tongue down the Meridian quarterback.”
“I hate you.”
“All morning, the sports channels have been replaying my baby brother being… what do the English call it… snogged? Being snogged by a rugged-looking guy who didn’t look like he wanted to let you go.”
“I can hang up. At any time, I can hang up.”
He doesn’t care; he keeps going. “Don’t get me wrong. If I was into dudes, Slade would be a good choice. But I thought you’d tell me first before you came out of the closet. We’re supposed to be best friends.”
I hear the laughter in his tone, so I don’t take him seriously. “I’m not in or out of the closet. I only kissed him because of Megan’s bullshit.”
“What bullshit?” His voice instantly loses all humor.
Quickly, I give him a rundown of what happened before the game and why I pulled Kerian in for a kiss. Luca makes a snorting sound, shaking his head at me.
“It wasn’t the best plan,” I tell both Colson and Luca, since Luca is all in my business, “but I didn’t know what else to do.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell them how Kerian showed up at my room late last night and how I got off with his saliva in my palm, but that’s for me.
Colson grunts. “I can see why you went the route you did, but did you not think you were proving her point?”
That was the point. I wanted Megan to think I had something going on with Kerian, even though I didn’t. I don’t . But she didn’t know that.
“Whatever,” I say, unwilling to explain my harebrained idea, especially after Kerian came to visit and made me even more confused than I already was. “Did you call to give me shit or what?”
“That and Mom was asking about you. I went over early this morning and she’s sad. She thought you two had the type of relationship where you would tell her if you were gay.”
I groan and sit forward on my bed. “ I’m not . Nothing is going on with me and Kerian. Just that stupid kiss that was obviously a mistake.”
“Don’t tell me, tell Mom.” He pauses for a beat, his tone going all big-brother serious. “But if you are gay or bi or whatever, you can tell us. You know that, right? You’re my annoying ass little brother, but I won’t love you any less.”
“I know, dipshit,” I tell him, waving him off. “Don’t get all serious. I’m not gay, or bi, or anything other than straight.” Probably not a lie . “I’ll call Mom after my gym sesh with Russ and talk her down. God, y’all are fucking annoying.”
“Love you too, you little shit.” We both laugh and click off.
I gather my things to take a shower, glad that our shitty dorms include a bathroom in our rooms. The older dorms still have communal showers.
I don’t waste time in there, even though my dick is rock hard. Talking about the kiss with Colson has me thinking about it, and my cock is so on board for another one.
But I’m not. Not that kissing a dude is gross or something. It’s whatever. It’s because it’s Kerian.
Besides, I’m not into dudes. Nothing wrong with being gay or bi or pan, but that’s not me.
Right?
After I roughly wash my hair and body, I hop out and get dressed. Kinda pointless to shower before the gym, but my blood is singing in my veins and I needed to calm down.
I grab my keys and make my way to the door, pausing when Luca asks, “Do you have your room key?”
“Yes, Dad,” I singsong, looking over at him with what I hope is a sweet expression.
He scoffs. “Don’t call me to come back and unlock the door, Zandy. I’ll make you stay outside until I’m finished studying if I’m at the library.”
Luca says that, but he always comes when I ask him to. It’s very rare, but I lose my key sometimes and he comes to help me out.
I pull my keycard from my wallet to show him. “I’m good. See you later.”
“Later.”
Just as I exit our dorm building, I see Russ walking up the sidewalk. “Good, I don’t have to walk up all those stairs,” he says, clapping hands with me. “Wanna hit the gym?”
He’s dressed in a tank top with cut open sides, his muscular torso flashing every time he swings his arms, and a pair of shorts that barely contain his tree-trunk thighs. His wired earbuds are hanging around his neck, blaring what sounds like Kendrick Lamar. His warm brown skin is a little red, so I’m guessing he jogged over. Why he wants to go to the gym after running is beyond me.
I did want to go to the gym, but now my muscles are screaming at me. “Nah. That game was brutal last night. My damn shoulder hurts from how many times I was thrown to the ground.”
“Suck that shit up, man.” I laugh at him and throw my arm around his neck, pulling him down to put him in a headlock. “Stop fucking complaining, you baby.”
I let him go and push him away. “Whatever. Your job is to put people like me on the ground, so you don’t understand.”
Russ is a big guy, way bigger than me, so the only reason I was able to get him in a headlock is because he let me. Dude has to be over two hundred and twenty pounds and like six foot five. He outweighs my two hundred pounds, but doesn’t tower over me since I’m only a few inches shorter than him at six two.
He’s about the same height as Kerian.
I shake that thought from my head as I walk beside Russ. “Food. Then I want to chill for a bit. Yesterday was… yeah. A lot.”
He glances over at me and I see the question in his eyes. Is he wondering if I’m gay and hiding it from him? Or wondering if I’ve stared at him or something while we showered and changed? None of that happened. I’ve never even looked at a guy twice.
“Listen man—” I say, but he cuts me off.
“It’s cool if you’re gay, bro. Doesn’t matter to me. I see you as the same dickhead I did before you went swapping spit with the quarterback of a rival team.” He pauses and peers down at me. “Has the rivalry all been like, some game you were playing so you didn’t have to tell people?”
I groan. “No. I’m not into dudes.” Russ looks like he doesn’t believe me. “I’m not. It was a stupid mistake.”
“My twin is gay, I told you that. He’s my best friend. I have no issues with gay people or he’d probably kick my ass. And he’s a few pounds heavier than me.”
I’ve seen pictures of Russ and his twin brother, Reggie. Both are mountains. I’d bet a fight between them would sound like a fight between the gods.
Another groan leaves my throat. “I’m not?—”
“Yeah, yeah. I heard you. Just so you know, we’re still cool. I don’t think you’ve been checking me out or some shit. And most of the guys on the team know you haven’t. If someone talks shit, I’ll handle them.”
“Thanks, but don’t worry about it. I’ll tell everyone it was a joke or a prank or something.”
“I’m sure they know it’s because of Justin and Megan.”
I stop in my tracks outside the caf, staring at him open-mouthed. “People know about that?”
Russ sighs and turns to me, his hands tucked into the pocket of his shorts. “They went to a Kappa party last night and were all over each other. From what I heard, Megan told some of her friends about breaking up with you before the game and you only kissing Slade to make her jealous. So it works in your favor that she’s a loose-lipped fucker.”
I mean, maybe. I don’t like my business being spread around the school. That’s rich, since I kissed a man after a televised game, but that’s different from my ex telling her friends that she’s been letting another dude—one on my team no less—dick her down while we were together.
Russ throws his heavy arm around my shoulders. “Don’t sweat it, my guy. Girls like Megan come and go. You were too serious with her anyway.” He opens the door to the caf and we shoulder our way in. Well, I do—Russ walks through and smushes me against the door with his bulk. Fucker.
I jump on his back and get him in another headlock. He laughs raucously and hip checks me, almost taking me down to the floor.
“You’re going to pay for that,” I roar and chase after him, my confusing thoughts about Megan, Justin, and Kerian forgotten.
For a moment anyway.
When we get into the food line, Russ asks me a question I don’t want to answer. “Did you like kissing him? Slade? You looked a little… out of it when you walked off the field.”
My dick twitches as I recall Kerian’s commanding kiss.
Did I like it?
Well, it was different. I’m used to being the one who leads the kiss, and the lips I’m capturing are usually yielding to mine. Kerian’s mouth was anything but. He was commanding, owning, possessive. He held me like he had every right to.
Russ is my best friend, and has always had my back since he joined the team as a freshman when I was a sophomore. He’s been my ride or die for years. He wouldn’t judge me.
Answering him honestly, I say, “I don’t know. I’m confused.”
He nods in understanding. “Probably because it’s Slade.” He makes a face that cracks me up, making me feel better about the situation. I’ll figure out how I feel about the kiss at some point.
Maybe.
Probably.