Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
Lindsay
“ S hoo! All of you! I’m here to see my daughter, not the three pesky sons who can’t even make time to see their own mother!”
“Ma, we told you we had some things going on,” Adam said.
“Oh I know all about the things you have going on, Adam Franklin Drake, and I had to hear about them from the grapevine instead of my own sons.”
“Is she talking about us?” Spencer asked cautiously in my ear.
“Oh most definitely. Brace yourself, she’s a hugger,” I said, with a smile.
Alice Drake was one of my favorite people in the world. When my parents had died when I was sixteen, she and her mate Frank had taken me in without another thought.
She’d been my mother’s best friend after all, my friendship with her sons written long before I was born. I was always treated like one of her own, and even on my darkest days, and when I decided to move out after high school once our designations had hit, she had supported me all the way.
It had been too long since I’d seen her, and she was a sight for sore eyes.
“There she is!” Mama Alice said, pulling me into her arms. “And here is the handsome consultant I’ve heard so much about. You must be Spencer.”
“Guilty as charged,” Spencer said, returning her affection. “And you must be their sister?”
“Oh hush, you charmer!” she said, giving him a good-natured slap on his arm. “I expect you and your flattery at Sunday-night dinners from here on out, you hear me? Don’t make me track you down. I’m part of the Holiday Hollow Welcome Wagon.”
“Why do I feel like I should be afraid of that?” Spencer asked under his breath as she took a turn hugging Ollie.
“Because you should,” I told him seriously. “They even have trumpets.”
His eyebrows lifted, not in horror but in interest. Why, oh why, could I see our charming new alpha joining the bandwagon mix?
“Are you ready to go?” Alice asked, turning back to me.
“Go?”
“Yes, we’re having a girl day,” Alice said. “No boys allowed. It’s been too long since we’ve had some time together.”
She was right, plus, it would be nice to have a break. As attentive as the guys were, all the focus sometimes made me feel anxious. Like it was only a matter of time before I fucked up and pushed them all away.
And yes, I was well aware that my brain was a bitch. I was still waiting for my body to catch up with the logic and proof they showed me each day.
“I’d love that,” I told her sincerely. “What do I need to grab?”
“Just yourself,” Alice said happily.
Spencer took me in his arms, not portraying an inch of shyness as he kissed me deeply in front of their mom, before pulling over Ollie with an arm around his shoulder.
“Have a good time, Linds,” Ollie said shyly, his eyes darting to his mother who was no doubt paying close attention to us.
Putting him out of his misery, I gave him a kiss, albeit a much politer one than Spencer had given me before excusing myself to go and grab my purse.
Dustin and Adam were both waiting for me by the door, the latter pulling me in harshly for a kiss before Dustin threaded his hand in mine and walked me out to the car where their mom was waiting.
“Text us if you need anything, babe,” Dustin said, before giving me a kiss. “And don’t worry about being back in time for your shift. I’m covering it tonight.”
“You don’t have to–”
“He does,” Alice interrupted. “Bye, number two. You’re number one in my heart today.”
Dustin laughed. “Bye, Mom. Bye, babe. Have fun.”
As soon as my door closed and we were on the road, Alice started laughing so hard tears were streaming down her cheeks.
“Frank, you heavenly bastard. You owe me a hundred bucks,” she said, looking toward the sky. “I told you they would take after you and be so damn stubborn that it wouldn’t be until their thirties that they finally got together.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked.
“My dear mate, god rest his soul, thought the four of you would get together about half a decade or so ago. But I know how stubborn you are sweetheart, and I told him it would take an act of god or maturity, or in this case a huge, sexy alpha, to make you realize just how much you’re all meant for each other.”
My cheeks burned. “It was more than that,” I mumbled.
“Oh hush, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Y’all needed to find your own path, it doesn’t matter how long that took. What’s important is that you found your way back to each other.”
“There’s still a possibility that I’ll fuck it all up,” I told her, not bothering to curb my words.
Mama Alice was fully aware of exactly who I was.
“Oh, sweetheart, you’ll for sure fuck it up,” she said. “They will, too. Lord knows Frank and I did a few times over the years. What’s important is that you never give up on each other.”
A relieved smile graced my lips. “I’ll be sure to remember that.”
Minutes later, we were pulling into Holiday Hollow Holistic Spa. A groan left my lips as I realized what she had planned today. “You are a godsend, Mama Alice.”
“And don’t you forget it,” she said. “I know how my sons can be, and if that little display your new alpha just put on is any indication, you can use some time to relax.”
“Truer words were never spoken,” I said quietly, the topic switching to lighter things as we both immersed ourselves into the day full of pampering.
Even though I had used Ollie’s bath and taken out my aggression with Adam, apparently, I was still wound up. I hadn’t even realized how much tension I had been carrying around until I was thoroughly massaged out and my body was scrubbed and polished within an inch of my life.
Hell, the spa had even upgraded amenities and fed us a delicious lunch complete with fancy truffles from Adrien and Claire’s chocolatier line.
By the time I was sipping on champagne and getting my toes done, I was one big puddle of bliss.
My mind of course went to the boys again, and I couldn’t help but think about what they might be doing right now.
“You’re thinking about them again,” Mama Alice said knowingly. “You’ve got that look on your face.”
“What look?”
“The same look you had since you and Dustin started sneaking around in high school when you first started to notice boys,” she said knowingly. “Don’t think I didn’t know exactly what y’all were up to. To be honest it took me by surprise that you ended things with him, with all of them back then.”
“I couldn’t be what they needed.”
“Oh hogwash,” she said, lifting her champagne flute for a refill. “You want to know why Frank left the brewery to not just the boys but you as well? It’s because he knew the same thing everyone has, including yourself deep down in your heart. You were always meant to be. I’m glad you finally pulled your head out of your ass. I was about to launch a fake dating campaign with some Holiday Honey to make you jealous.”
I gasped. “You wouldn’t.”
“It’s a good thing we won’t have to find out now,” she said with a victorious smile. “I know how possessive you can get over what you consider yours.”
“I swear you and Beatty must be in cahoots,” I grumbled.
“Janet, too,” she said proudly. “Why do you think she recommended Spencer as a consultant?”
“How could she know we’d be compatible?” I gasped, nearly spilling my champagne.
“Oh, she didn’t,” Alice laughed. “That was just an added bonus. He was a sexy, confident alpha who would shake things up.”
“You two are a menace,” I said as I shook my head and relaxed back in my seat.
“And proud of it,” she stated before eyeballing someone across the room. “Oh, that’s Grace! I’ll be back.”
If she was off to chat it wouldn’t be quick. I closed my eyes and settled back, the buzz of relaxation and champagne were lulling me into a peaceful trance.
Of course, the guys were soon infiltrating my mind. Along with that thought came the letters still tucked in my bag.
How had I forgotten them for so long?!
The four envelopes all had my name in different scripts. I could pick out each one easily, knowing Spencer’s by process of elimination.
I started with Ollie, knowing that even if I suspected Dustin had suggested this whole thing, that he was the one to make it happen. It was four pages long, outlining all the ways he knew I was his.
I’ve spent most of my life wanting you, and now that I have your bite, I’ll spend the rest of my life loving you with everything in me.
God, Ollie had a way with words. My heart melted at his sweet words, line after line telling me how amazing I was.
It was almost too much to face, my face flaming as I absorbed all of his heartfelt words.
As I finished reading, I let out a breath, my eyes stinging with tears I wasn’t letting fall. I had to get through three more.
Spencer was next. His handwriting was precise and clean, unlike Ollie’s chaos. I smiled as I read his words, loving that it was full of his humor.
I never expected to run into my future that night at the brewery. Yet there you were, this fiery beta who didn’t take anyone’s shit. I was hooked from the first sarcastic comment and didn’t look back. That and you have an amazing ass.
That one night stand started innocently enough for me, too. But he had no real idea just how much he’d brought this pack together. The alpha was basically a battering ram to my heart, the catalyst for so much long-needed change.
Spencer was charismatic and extremely playful, so different from the others, and I loved him for it.
I moved on to Dustin’s letter. The familiar small handwriting had me smiling. Dustin described our first Holloway and how often he thought about those days.
There’s no better feeling than letting go. Except when I’m letting go with you by my side. Your carefree smile and singing at the top of your lungs is my favorite version of you. It’s when you’re not guarded and I can see all of you. I can’t wait to see that more often when you’re living in our pack house. I’m going to wake up next to you as often as I can and I hope I’m always your safe space, because you’ll always be mine.
My tears started to fall and I swiped them away quickly and glanced around, relieved to see I was alone now. The omega doing my pedicure had put a foot mask on and moved on to do something else, so I had no audience to my emotional moment.
Thank god for that.
Finally, I only had Adam’s letter lingering. I’d left it for last because he wasn’t a man of words. Yet I knew if he sat down to write all this that it was pouring from his soul.
From the first line to the last, he bared his soul on the page for me. The vulnerability and open words were something I didn’t know I needed to hear.
You always said I’d need an omega, but I knew from the moment I saw you that there was never another woman for me. You’ve always been it for me, Lindsay.
An omega wouldn’t have your fire. An omega wouldn’t take care of us the way you do. An omega wouldn’t put us in our place and see all of the insecurities we hide.
An omega wouldn’t be you.
Fuck, now there was no holding back. I tucked the letters away and wiped away more tears as warmth spread through me.
They wanted me. Only me.
I was enough for them.
That was everything I’d been longing to hear and needed to accept. My walls had been crumbling for weeks, but now they were in shambles. I was ready to accept my mates and give myself the life that I deserved.
“Are you done being sappy?” Alice’s amused voice brought me out of my bubble and I blinked up at her. She let out a soft laugh. “Come on, last surprise.”
Alice paid for our spa treatments and ushered me out the door. She talked about the latest tea she got from Grace while she drove. She pulled up in front of Claire’s place and gave me a wink.
“With all that testosterone you need a solid girl’s night. Claire was more than happy to arrange it. Get in there,” she teased.
I saw a mane of wild curls peek out of her front door and I grinned back, climbing out of the car and waving to Alice. She was already ready to pull off, leaving me to the girls.
“Come on, you’re the first one here outside of me and Riley,” Claire called out. “We’re making pizza.”
“Hell, yeah,” I grinned as I followed her into the cottage. She’d changed it recently to be a workspace for her and Adrien, but right now it was a hangout for all of us.
She already had bowls of dough rising and Riley was cutting up veggies.
“Hey, Lindsay. Word on the street is that you had to call industrial cleaners to the bar because of a blizzard heat,” he teased. My cheeks flamed but I just rolled my eyes.
“For once, the rumor mills are accurate,” I said, their jaws dropping. It was too hard not to laugh so I gave in, cracking up until they were.
“So, you gave in?”
I threw up my hands in exasperation.
“Did everyone think we should be together but me?”
“Yes,” they answered together, giving me a look that said they knew I was losing my mind.
“You’ve been borderline flirting the entire time I’ve known you,” Riley said, pointing his knife my way. “What changed?”
I sat down and started helping Claire stretch the dough over the pizza pans, letting them in on some of my stress.
“I’ve always known I couldn’t be enough for them. I’m not an omega, and I wasn’t an alpha. I couldn’t give Ollie what he needed, or Adam. Plus, it wouldn’t be fair to them or Dustin if I was holding back a part of myself. Then Spencer came along and he realized both Ollie and I were his mates. That changed things some but I wasn’t going to dive all in just because he was here. They deserved better than that.”
“I bet Adam just loved that, especially after telling you the same thing about yourself,” Riley said, with an arch of his eyebrow.
“First of all, finding a solution doesn’t mean you care about them more or less, it just means you’re allowing yourself to entertain the idea,” Claire pointed out gently.
“I’m ready now, though. I just didn’t realize that what everyone needs is a little different than this idea I had been holding onto in my head. They’ve all made it very clear that I’m what they want. Everyone is happy and I think…I think I’m ready to let myself be happy.”
“Hallelujah,” Riley muttered. “I thought I’d have to come slap some sense into you guys.”
“Hey!” I laughed. “It just took a bit to get there, but I’m ready now.”
“Better late than never,” he said, more gentle this time. “Now this requires wine!”
“Sparkling cider for me,” Summer called out as she walked in, her belly rounding out now.
“I’ve got you,” Claire said, wiping her hands on her apron and going to the fridge, pulling both out. She served Summer first before pouring ours.
“What did I miss?”
“Gossip and pizza making,” Claire said as she gestured for her to sit. “Where’s Autumn?”
“Late as usual,” Autumn said, her cheeks flushed as she ran into the room, dropping her things on the side table and joining us. “I swear those men hate to let me leave.”
“It looks like you weren’t complaining,” I said, giving her a wink.
“And it sounds like you’re not, either. Alright, tell us everything,” she demanded, looking right at me. I bit back a smile as I recounted what I told them.
“But are you happy?” Summer asked, her face set in a sweet smile. “Do they make you come alive? Are they who you think about in the quiet moments?”
My chest tightened as I thought it over. It wasn’t a hard conclusion to come to.
“Yes. It’s always been them, from the moment I met them. Even Spencer wormed his way in with his charm and has stayed under my skin.”
“Then you’ve found your pack, Lindsay. They’re who you are meant to be with, and it’s alright to let yourself embrace them.”
“I’m going to,” I said, my voice strong and sure.
“Cheers to Lindsay getting dicked down properly!” Riley said, holding up his glass. We all burst into laughter even as my cheeks flamed red and I clinked my glass to theirs, taking a long drink of mine.
“Now, onto the next order of business,” Autumn said solemnly, even though her eyes sparkled. “Who do you think is going to make a fool of themselves at the winter festival? My money is on whoever Janet hires to dress up in a mascot costume.”
The conversation turned to gossip and laughter as we finished making the pizza and drank our wine. Alice had been spot on. I needed to relax and I needed my friends.
But now, I was more sure than ever that I was all in. There was no looking back now.