Chapter 6
six
Ellie
I’m not sure how Sean talked me into going to a movie tonight, but here we are in the theater, sharing a huge container of popcorn. Maya said she wasn’t interested in the most recent superhero movie but I know that’s a lie. She’s always had a secret love of comics, and this movie features one of her favorite anti-heroes. There’s something going on with her that I can’t figure out.
Just like I can’t figure out what’s happening with Sean and me. As a coach he treats me the way he always has, his manner professional and focused on the team. Outside of those moments, he’s still Sean. A great guy and my best friend’s older brother.
For the longest time, he’s treated me like a sister as well. Lately there’s been a confusing change. I thought it had something to do with my spontaneous hug a couple weeks ago. Except when I think about him—and I’ve been doing a lot of that lately—I realize that there’s been a gradual shift in our relationship. I’m fairly sure he doesn’t want to be a brother figure.
I certainly don’t want him in that role. The way his eyes lit up then went all dark and dreamy when I demanded he kiss me at the bar makes me wonder if that the ache of wanting might be mutual.
How do we move past coach and friend to something more? Lovers? That thought makes my body feel soft and languid. My lady bits don’t exactly tingle but there’s definitely interest in the possibility.
Is there more to this than just the physical? When I inspect my tangled emotions, the feelings I discover tell me I want more than just some possible good times in bed with Sean. How do I know if he wants more as well?
Sex could be the only thing on his mind. I’m not sure how that would work anyway. The three of us share an apartment. Maya and I sleep in the same room. How embarrassing would it be to have Maya know I’m sleeping—uh, not sleeping with her brother.
Then there’s Maya. Sometimes it feels like she’s trying to push Sean and I together and I wonder what she might have noticed. I haven’t said anything to her about how my feelings for him are changing. Has Sean aid anything?
Time to turn off my mind and enjoy the movie. And being with Sean, even if it’s not alone.
Our hands bump a few times in the popcorn tub then once the container’s empty, I rest my hand on the armrest and Sean covers it with his. By the end of the movie our fingers are interlaced. I spend the lengthy credits trying to decide what to do once the lights come up.
Sean leans close and says softly, “I hear there’s a great ice cream place down on the boardwalk. Want to check it out?”
We’re still far enough out from the tournament and we eat healthy most of the time so I’m not worried about treating myself to ice cream. Even after I devoured half a huge bucket of popcorn. “Sounds great.”
He keeps my hand as we leave the theater. The boardwalk’s not far so we stroll toward the beach, pausing to check out the progress of the tournament set up. The main court and bleachers are ready to go except for the sand. A couple secondary courts are nearing completion. It’s really a process, one that’s needed to create the best playing surfaces and for the comfort of the fans.
When we get to O'Leahey's Creamery there’s too many flavor choices but somehow we narrow our selections down to two each, then share both cups. The boardwalk is lively and we make our way to the end of the pier before finding a place to sit and enjoy our treat. I’d left my hair loose and the wind tosses it everywhere until a woman with a small girl clinging to her leg, digs through her huge bag and offers me a scrunchie.
“You’re a life saver,” I tell her as I tug my flyaway hair into a ponytail.
She waves my thanks away. “Just a mom who’s prepared. Enjoy your ice cream.” The girl tugs on her arm and she leans down to have a whispered conversation. I’ve never thought much about what my life might be like once I’m no longer playing but watching the two of them makes me wonder what it would be like to have a daughter. Or maybe a son. Who looks like Sean.
Whoa. I went down that road pretty damn fast.
“We don’t mean to intrude,” the woman says. “But my daughter wants to know if you’re one of the volleyball girls.”
How sweet. “Yes, I am. I’m Ellie Andrews.”
The girl’s smile explodes. “I knew it. You play with Maya, don’t you?”
“I do. She’s my best friend, too. Now you know who I am, what’s your name?”
The shyness returns before she straightens her back. “I’m Olivia. And I want to be a volleyball girl like you.”
Sean crouches in front of her. “I’m Sean.”
“I know who you are. You’re the coach.” After her mother’s touch on her shoulder, she says, “It’s nice to meet you, mister Sean.”
“How old are you, Olivia?” Sean glances at me and winks. I’ve never seen him interact with kids even though I know he used to do some volunteering at summer volleyball camps.
“I’m six. And I love volleyball. I wish I could come to the beach to watch you play.”
“Watching and learning the rules is a good start,” he says as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out his wallet. Standing, he addresses the girl’s mother. “The tournament just released tickets for players to use for family and friends. We’d be honored if you’d come to a match as our guests. How many are in your family?”
“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” the woman says.
“Please, Momma? I bet Daddy and Joey would like to come, too.”
Sean removes four tickets from his wallet. “We don’t have family nearby and since we’ve never been to Love Beach before, our friends are few. Ellie, Maya, and I would love to count you as our new friends.” He glances at the little girl. “And as one of our biggest fans.”
The huge puppy dog eyes she focuses on her mother would melt me in a second. It takes her mother five before she smiles and nods. “Thank you.”
“These are general admission tickets and good for any day, any match. I’d suggest you arrive pretty early though and claim spots for the match you want. Then you can wander and enjoy watching teams warm up.” He focuses again on Olivia. “The organizers are planning some activities for kids who want to learn how to play volleyball. Some of the coaches and players will be there to encourage and help kids of all ages learn the game. Ask your mom to check that out once they post the final schedule.”
“We will, mister Sean. Momma, isn’t that great?”
She curves her hand over her daughter’s head. “It sure is, honey. Now, let’s get going. I’m sure Ellie and Sean would like to finish their ice cream in peace.”
“Bye, Ellie. Good luck in the tournament. See you.”
The last of my ice cream is pretty well melted so I tip the bowl and drink the liquid dregs of chocolate mint mixed with cookies ’n cream. Sean takes our trash to the nearest bin then joins me at the rail. Shoulders touching we stand in silence watching the dark water lap at the edge of the beach below us.
The lights from businesses lining the beach sparkle on the water creating a romantic atmosphere despite the crowds of people out enjoying their spring break on the beach and boardwalk. Anticipation I don’t understand creates butterflies in my stomach. Sean slips his arm around my shoulder and the butterflies start to dance.
I suspect what’s going on and it frightens me. I don’t have time for a relationship right now. Don’t have the energy to give to something personal while I’m focusing two hundred percent on my game. Trying to ignore how the fluttering is moving through my body, I return to the sport. “I hope Olivia gets the opportunity to hit a few balls. Getting kids started early is good for the sport.”
“It is. I’ll try and keep an eye out for her. If you and Maya aren’t in warm-up or pre-match mode, maybe you can come help out with the kids.”
“Help out? Are you going to be there?”
“Yeah, I said I’d help. I enjoy my time at the summer camps and this is a good way to continue to give back and grow interest in volleyball. Both beach and indoor.”
He surprises me. I’ve never given much thought to what he does when not coaching our team. Never realized how much he enjoys the summer coaching. Now that we’re headed into the season, there’s not much free time, so I suppose it makes sense he’d use any opportunity to interact with the players of the future.
A shiver travels through me and Sean inches closer. “Cold? There is a brisk breeze off the ocean tonight.”
Saying that’s the reason would be safe. But a lie. Sean doesn’t deserve lies. I shake my head.
Turning to look at me, Sean studies my face and his lips twitch. “You have chocolate on your face.”
“Oh my god. How long has that been there?” Imagining what I must look like, I lift my hand to wipe away the mess.
Sean catches my hand. “Not long. Not when we were talking to Olivia and her mom anyway.”
That’s a relief. Once again I lift my hand and Sean stops the action. “Let me,” he says.
He holds my gaze and touches his thumb to one corner of my lips. After a gentle swipe, he pauses then draws the pad of his thumb over my lower lip. Without thinking about what I’m doing, I chase the slight stickiness with my tongue. Sean’s groan settles low in my belly and those damn butterflies go wild.
Before I rethink what I’m doing, I lift my arms and encircle Sean’s neck. He doesn’t need any encouragement to lower his lips to mine with the softest, teasing touch. He continues the slight pressure until I whisper “more” against his mouth. He’s holding back. Other than his fingertips on my cheek, he’s not touching me.
I want him to. Need him to.
Blindly reaching for and finding his free hand, I place it at my waist. He takes my not so subtle hint and inches closer, his palm resting now between my shoulder blades. Not sure what it means, I want him to surround me. I slide my fingers into his hair and he matches my movement.
Finally, our kiss deepens. His tongue searches for mine, twines and strokes until I can barely breathe. I’ve never been kissed like this before. Never imagined how glorious a moment like this might be. Sure the hell is better than what the romance novels say.
Before I’m ready, he eases back. He kisses the tip of my nose. “We’re attracting an audience,”
“What? Audience?” I don’t understand anything except the need to kiss him again. I tighten my fingers against his skull and try to pull him closer.
“Ellie, as much as I want to explore the delight of your kisses, we don’t need to do it here. On the pier. In public.” His ragged chuckle starts to clear my fuzzy brain. “Publicity is great but not this kind of headline. Let’s go home.”
There’s a promise in his words, a hitch when he says home, that clears my head. I close my eyes, untangle my fingers and take a quick step back. My face burns. “Oh god. I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”
“Obviously I wasn’t either.”
We turn toward the boardwalk but before we make our escape an elderly couple stops us. The woman grins. “Was that your first kiss?”
The heat in my face blazes and I duck my head leaving Sean to answer. “Yes. Why do you ask?”
She elbows the man. “I told my husband it was but he didn’t believe me. There was just something about the two of you. How you hesitated then fit so well together. I just knew you shared a first kiss.”
I don’t know what to say. And with Sean’s unusual silence, neither does he.
“Tell ‘em why you asked,” the man says with a fond, indulgent smile for his wife.
“I’m getting there, I’m getting there. You’re not from Love Beach, are you?”
“No,” Sean replies. “We’re here for the volleyball tournament.”
“Then you don’t know the legend. It’s said that when a couple shares their first kiss at the end of the pier, they’ll be lucky in love for the rest of their lives.”