Chapter 8
eight
Ellie
The sand is cool and while I wait for Sean and Maya to join me, I wiggle my toes deeper into the slightly damp surface. It’s probably a silly superstition, but I judge the sand at every practice and definitely at every competition this way. Not that it really matters, I suppose. I play my best game no matter what the conditions. I just need to feel the sand.
The early morning sun glints off the water in the distance. It’s going to be a great day. I won’t be able to enjoy much of it though. The tournament starts in a few days and the jittery need to focus and improve every aspect of my game is strong. I need to work those jitters out of my system until all I feel is the power of my serve and the speed of my spikes.
Normally a good workout eases the vibrations under my skin. Getting into competitive mode is calming for me. Except I’ve found little calm the past few days. Then last night happened. The kiss that rocked me to my toes. I touch my lips. The kiss I still feel was far more… I can’t find the right words to even explain it to myself… it was simply more.
I’d pretended to be asleep when Maya entered our room. I have no idea what she and Sean had been talking about even though I’d pressed my ear to the door to try and decipher the low rumble of their voices. I’m not sure I really want to know. Maya is observant but then anyone with a brain would know something was off with me the way I escaped into the bedroom.
Sometime in the early morning hours I finally fell asleep. No dreams, which surprised me. This morning Maya acted like everything was normal although Sean was unusually quiet. And I caught both of them looking at me strangely. That’s why I grabbed an equipment bag and rushed ahead of them to the beach. I can’t face the questions I don’t know how to answer.
My world has tilted wildly since I hugged Sean, what was it? Only a couple weeks ago? Now I notice how much he watches me outside of training. How much I enjoy spending non-team time with him. I like his eyes on me, looking at me as something other than an athlete. And wow, did I like kissing him. It scares me how much I want him.
Hell, I don’t know what I’m doing or thinking. I’m confused and need to clear my head. A good workout. That’s what I need.
Maya and Sean finally join me and Sean outlines this morning’s training routine. With only a handful of fans watching, today’s focus is on passing and setting. After warm up we settle in to a serious, fast paced workout. Considering my over-crowded mind and wild emotions, I was concerned I’d have issues but both my passing and sets are spot on most of the time. Maya however is struggling today, her movements sluggish and slightly off.
After a particularly bad pass, I bend over with my hands on my knees and draw in some deep breaths. Looking up at Maya, I vent my frustration. “What the hell was with that pass, Maya? Where’s your head? You gotta get into the game, girl. We’ll go out the first round with you playing like this.”
At her stricken expression, I immediately regret my tone. “Look, I’m sorry. We all have off days. I just want us to do the best we can.”
Sean joins us. “Ladies?”
“It’s okay, big bro. Today I’m just not… balanced.”
They share a look communicating something I’m left out of. Doesn’t bother me, they’ve always done that. As long as it gets Maya back to peak form. Then I wonder if I do pursue a relationship with Sean, if we’ll have a way of instant communication without words. That would be nice. Even if we don’t, being with Sean would be more than nice.
It would be life changing.
That expectation puts a lot of pressure on building a relationship. Would it be worth the effort?
Sean and Maya move a few steps away giving me the opportunity to study him. Of course I do some solo work with the ball while I do, so it doesn’t look like he’s my focus. He’s handsome in a lean, sun-bleached, beach boy way. Have to admit I’ve always been partial to that look. More than his looks, I’m attracted to his intelligence, his sense of humor, his love of family. Every little thing that makes him who he is. Even if he does hate eating leftovers.
Maya returns to her place in the practice sand. Her half-hearted smile concerns me but she shades her eyes with her hand and says, “I’m ready.”
I toss the ball and she passes it back to me. Another pass and she sets the ball perfectly for the slash of my spike. Sean chases balls, tossing them into play and calling out possible game situations for our ball control. We fall into our comfortable, well-established rhythm until there’s a high pitched, “Seansy.”
Shit, I thought we were rid of Karol and her interruptions. Sean’s toss is off and Maya dives forward. With a yelp she lands sideways on the hard sand and grabs her knee. Half sitting, she rocks, cradling her leg. Tears stream down her cheeks.
“Maya,” Sean and I shout in unison before running to her. Sean falls to his knees beside her, and wraps an arm around her shoulders, staring at her knee. I drop to her other side and lift a questioning gaze to Sean. His eyes go wide and he shakes his head.
Oh god. This could be bad.
“I’m sorry,” Maya cries. “I’m sorry. I didn’t… I’m… hurts.”
He shushes her and carefully encourages her to open her hands to expose her knee.
The sound of someone running across the sand draws my attention and I look up as Paxton joins us. “One of your fans alerted me. Nyla’s calling the paramedics. “Knee?” he asks, joining us on the sand.
Maya takes a deep breath and nods. “I heard it pop.” Her pain-filled gaze turns to me. “I’m sorry, Ellie. I didn’t mean?—”
“Lying down on the job, Maya?” Karol says as she joins us. “I’m not surprised. Workouts are tough for people like you.”
Sean surges to his feet. He takes Karol’s shoulders, turns her and makes her walk away. “Oh, Seansy, I love it when you’re rough.”
His hands jerk from her shoulders and he fists them at his side. “Go away. Now.”
“But—”
“I said go away.” He turns away and I cheer silently as Karol stomps off.
I focus on how gently Paxton is touching and observing Maya’s knee. “I’m no doctor but had to deal with all kinds of injuries when I was in the service. I’d say you’ve probably torn your ACL. Stay still, the paramedics should be here soon.”
Maya tries to be brave. “I don’t need paramedics. I’ll be fine in a few minutes. I just need to rest a moment.” She holds my gaze. “We can get back to practice soon.”
The only answer I will give her is an honest one. “I don’t think so. Even if this is just a sprain, you won’t be able to practice. Let alone compete. No,” I say, stopping the arguments before she voices them. “You know I’m right. Before we make any assumptions and plans, let’s see what the doctors say.”
Sean sits beside her and takes her hand. “This is all my fault. My toss was way off.”
“Listen, big bro,” Maya says then winces when she tries to move her leg. There’s still tears hovering on her lashes. “Diving for a ball is nothing new. We do it all the time. It’s not your fault.” She turns her attention to me. “And don’t you go blaming yourself either. I deserved to be called out for my sloppy play. No matter what’s going on off the court, it shouldn’t affect how we perform. Okay? Not your fault?”
She knows me well. I was well on my way to blame city. I can’t promise I won’t fall into that trap later though. To ease her mind I nod. “Not my fault.”
There’s shouts from our fans and a paramedic team jogs across the sand. They make quick work of checking Maya’s injury. She complains and tells them she can walk when they lift her onto a stretcher. Sean leans over her. “Let them do their job. We’ll follow to the hospital.”
Paxton eyes our scattered balls. “I’ll get this cleaned up and store your equipment until you can pick it up. Don’t worry about anything here.”
With a sigh Maya closes her eyes and waves one hand. “Okay. I’m ready to go.”
Since Maya’s injury isn’t life threatening or bleeding, the emergency room staff stick us in a three walled room and pull a curtain over the wide opening. To distract her from the pain and possibilities, Sean and I keep up a continuous litany of inane topics. No volleyball talk allowed. Once a doctor finally examines her, she’s given pain medication and scheduled for an MRI.
I’m surprised how quickly everything happens after that and before long Sean and I are alone in the cubicle while Maya’s knee is being scanned. Lost in our own thoughts, we remain silent until he startles me. “So what now?” he asks.
The disappointment I’ve been holding at bay washes over me like a tsunami. “We’ll have to withdraw from the tournament. Maybe the whole season.”
He takes my hand and strokes my fingers. The gentle caress calms my disjointed thoughts. “How do you feel about that?”
“I hate it. We’ve worked so hard to get to this level. It sucks how one wrong fall can take all the planning and preparation away. I’m not blaming anyone. I know shit like this happens. No one plans for injuries. It just sucks.”
The curtain pulls back and a nurse wheels Maya’s bed back into the room. Maya’s eyes are red. She’s been crying again. The MRI must have shown the worst outcome. She still attempts a smile. “There’s no reason your quest for Olympic gold has to end, Ellie. Try out possible new partners. Stay on the circuit and keep your name on everyone’s radar.”
“No. This is our dream. One we’ve had and planned for since our freshman year. Maya, I don’t want to do this without you. I don’t know if I can.”
She gives me a disgusted look. “Of course you can. You and Sean can find a replacement for me. It shouldn’t be difficult.”
Sean rises to kiss her cheek. “No one can replace you, baby sis.”
“I doubt that’s true, but thanks.”
The doctor arrives to discuss the injury. Maya asks us both to stay. I hold tight to Sean’s hand while the man talks. A torn ACL. One that’s bad enough to require surgery. But that won’t happen for at least three weeks so the swelling can be controlled and her knee is more stable.
Maya seems to shrink in on herself. Her brave words just a few minutes earlier hold no power for her now. After setting an appointment with the surgeon in a few days, she’s released with a knee brace and crutches and we head home.
Parked behind the chocolate shop, she bursts into another round of tears. I’ve never seen her so distraught.
“Maya?” Sean asks.
“How the hell am I supposed to get up all those damn stairs?”
With careful maneuvering and way too many position changes, we finally make it to the apartment door. Maya’s tears have turned to slightly hysterical laughter which I’m not sure is any better. I’m blaming the pain meds. I help her into bed, propping pillows around and under her knee like the nurse instructed.
I watch over her the rest of the day, helping her to the bathroom, bringing her water and food, which she mostly ignores. Sean hovers and runs errands for us, surprising us with an assortment of cheeses from the store next door and of course chocolates from downstairs. I leave Maya’s chocolate on her bedside stand and join Sean in the living room.
“Don’t worry,” he says. “She’ll eat later.”
I cover a yawn with my hand. Sean draws me into an embrace. “How are you doing?”
“Honestly, I’m not sure. Taking care of Maya is priority but I can’t stop thinking about which possible future to pursue. Short term and long term.” I shrug. “Guess I’ve got the time. I hope Maya can sleep tonight.”
“Will you be able to sleep?”
“I don’t know. I suppose I could curl up out here. Maybe I won’t be hyper focused on Maya’s every move if I’m not in the same room.”
“Not the most comfortable couch.”
“No, it’s fine.”
Sean kisses my cheek. “If it’s fine, then it’s good enough for me. Go sleep in my room. I changed the sheets earlier, just in case. I’ll listen for Maya and help with whatever she needs.”
“I can’t take your bed.” I don’t put too much force behind my denial. A full night’s sleep will go a long way to clear my mind even though I can’t make any decisions until we know more about Maya’s prognosis.
“You can, and you will. Now go. Off with you. If I have any problems, I’ll come get you. Okay?”
Tilting my head, I kiss his chin. “If you insist. Thank you.”
“Sleep well, Ellie.”
After grabbing night clothes from my room I wave as I cross to the other side of the apartment. Sean’s got his tablet open so I imagine he’s looking at what our upcoming schedule would have been. No, I don’t even want to think about that now.
Sean’s room and ensuite are tidy and the darker colors on the walls and bedding encourage me to relax. After changing into my sleep shorts and cami, I climb into his bed and close my eyes. The scent I’ve grown accustomed to, the one I never really associated with his, surrounds me. I lift the comforter to my nose and inhale. Oh yes. Sandalwood and something else. Something a little earthy yet with a touch of spice.
As the aroma fills my senses, I remember our kiss on the pier. The memory makes my skin sensitive, tingly. It’s not long before I squeeze my thighs together to appease my throbbing clit. My restless shifting doesn’t help. I shouldn’t. Not in his bed.
His bed. Gathering an armful of the comforter, I hug it tight to my chest then lift a corner to my nose with one hand. The other I slip slowly over my stomach and under the elastic of my sleep shorts. I hesitate only a second before sliding my fingers over the needy, tight bundle of nerves as I inhale deeply.
“Sean.”