10. Colt
Chapter 10
Colt
P anic.
That was all I felt. Sheer unadulterated panic. I had just kissed Eli Daniels, my ex-best friend and enemy for the past decade. And he… he kissed me back.
The worst part was, I was the one that initiated. Sure, he’d kissed me on the cheek as a thank you, but that didn’t mean I had to go and put my whole fucking tongue in his mouth.
I still couldn’t understand why I’d done it. Sure, I knew he was attractive. There was no doubt about that. I’d noticed it the moment I saw him. But something about him being so vulnerable and willing to share it with me… I’d just lost myself in the moment.
That’s why I ran off and why I was now in his room with the door shut, pacing back and forth like a caged animal. As far as I knew, he was still standing in the kitchen where I’d left him. Everything was suddenly much more complicated.
I ran my fingers through my hair, tugging at the roots in frustration. What was I thinking? This wasn't just some random guy I could kiss and forget about. This was Eli Daniels. The same Eli who'd left Sagebrush and me behind without a backward glance, and who'd come crawling back when his perfect life fell apart.
But he wasn't that person anymore, was he? The man I'd just kissed was different. Softer. More real. He’d been put through the wringer and come out the other side a mature, albeit sometimes irritating, man. He wasn’t anything like the boy I used to know. And neither was I.
A gentle knock on the door made me freeze mid-step. “Hey,” Eli's voice came through, muffled but unmistakable. “Can we talk about what just happened?”
My heart hammered in my chest. I could pretend I wasn't here, but that would only delay the inevitable. With a deep breath, I moved to the door and opened it slowly.
Eli stood there, his eyes searching my face. He looked as uncertain as I felt, which was oddly comforting. At least I wasn't the only one thrown off balance.
“Can I come in?” he asked softly.
“It's your room,” I nodded, stepping back to let him enter. He closed the door behind him, and suddenly the room felt too small, too intimate. We stood there for a moment, the silence stretching between us like a living thing.
“Look,” I started, at the same time Eli said, “I think we should?—”
We both stopped, and a hint of a smile tugged at Eli's lips. “You go first,” he offered.
I took a deep breath. “I'm sorry,” I blurted out. “I shouldn't have done that. It was impulsive and stupid and?—”
“Was it?” Eli interrupted, his voice low.
My words caught in my throat. I stared at Eli, trying to read his expression. His gaze was intense, searching mine for something I wasn't sure I could give.
“What do you mean?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
Eli took a step closer, and I instinctively backed up until I felt the edge of his desk against my lower back. He stopped, leaving just enough space between us that I could still breathe.
“Was it really stupid?” he asked again, softer this time. “Because from where I'm standing, it felt... right.”
My heart was pounding so hard I was sure he could hear it. I gripped the edge of the desk, trying to anchor myself as the room seemed to spin around me. For the first time I truly realized how tall he was and how much that made me want to swoon.
“Eli,” I started, but I didn't know how to finish. What could I say? That I'd been fighting my attraction to him since he came back? That I was terrified of what this could mean for us, for my career, for the entire rodeo circuit?
But before I could form a coherent thought, Eli closed the distance between us. His hand came up to cup my cheek, his thumb brushing lightly across my skin. The touch sent shivers down my spine.
“I know we have a complicated history,” he murmured, his eyes never leaving mine. “But I can't ignore what I'm feeling anymore. Can you?”
I wanted to look away, to break the spell he seemed to be weaving around us, but I couldn't. Instead, I found myself leaning into his touch, my body betraying my mind's hesitation.
“This is crazy,” I whispered, even as I felt myself being drawn closer to him. “We can't?—”
“Why not?” Eli challenged, his voice low and rough. “Why can't we?”
His words hung in the air between us, heavy with possibility. I could feel the heat radiating from his body, smell the faint scent of his cologne. My mind raced, searching for all the reasons why this was a terrible idea, but my heart... my heart was singing a different tune.
“Because,” I started, my voice trembling slightly, “we're supposed to hate each other. And I’m a rodeo star with a reputation to uphold. What would people say?”
Eli's hand slid from my cheek to the back of my neck, his fingers tangling in my hair. “Since when do you care what people say?” he asked, a hint of his old sarcasm creeping into his tone. “The Colt I remember never gave a damn about anyone's opinion. And the Colt I know now is too full of himself to care what other people think.”
I swallowed hard, trying to ignore the way his touch was setting my skin on fire. “That’s not true,” I replied, shaking my head. “I have to care. If people found out… I could lose everything.”
“Then we won’t tell anyone,” Eli said simply, his lips only inches from mine as he leaned in.
I hesitated for a moment, my mind whirling with conflicting emotions. But as I looked into Eli's eyes, saw the vulnerability and desire there, I felt my resolve crumbling.
“Fuck…” I murmured, knowing I could resist no longer, and closed the distance between us.
This kiss was different from our first. Where that had been impulsive and frantic, this was slow, deliberate. Eli's lips moved against mine with a gentleness I hadn't expected, his hand cradling the back of my head as if I were something precious.
I melted into him, my arms wrapping around his waist to pull him closer. He responded by pressing me further against the desk, his body flush against mine. A soft moan escaped me as his tongue teased at the seam of my lips, asking for entrance.
I granted it willingly, losing myself in the taste of him. My hands slid up Eli's back, feeling the lean muscles beneath his shirt. I pulled him even closer, desperate for more contact. The kiss deepened, becoming more urgent, more passionate. All my doubts and fears seemed to evaporate in the heat of the moment.
Suddenly, Eli broke away, breathing heavily. His forehead rested against mine as we both tried to catch our breath.
“Colt,” he whispered, his voice husky. “Are you sure about this?”
I hesitated for a moment, reality crashing back in. But as I looked into Eli's eyes, seeing the vulnerability there, I knew I couldn't turn back now.
“No,” I admitted. “I'm not sure about anything right now. But I know I want this. I want you.”
A slow smile spread across Eli's face, and he leaned in to kiss me again, softer this time, but no less intense. His hands slid down my sides, coming to rest on my hips. I shivered at his touch, my body responding in ways I'd never experienced before.
“We should probably move this somewhere more comfortable,” Eli murmured against my lips, his breath hot on my skin.
I nodded, unable to form words. Eli took my hand, leading me towards the bed. My heart raced as I sat down on the edge, looking up at him. He stood between my legs, his fingers tracing along my jaw.
“You're beautiful,” he whispered, his eyes roaming over my face.
I felt my cheeks flush, unused to such tender words from another man. What little experience I had in this department was usually rushed, animalistic, and ended without speaking hardly a word to one another. But this was the man I grew up with, one that used to be my best friend. I knew him in ways most people didn’t. Our connection was… intimate.
“Shut up,” I mumbled, pulling him down for another kiss to hide my embarrassment.
Eli chuckled against my lips, the sound sending vibrations of pleasure through my body. “I know you know you’re gorgeous,” he whispered. “I’ve seen the way you preen around folks.”
“That's…” I gasped as his lips found the sweet spot on my neck. “That’s just an act.”
Eli pulled back slightly, his eyes searching mine. “Is it?” he asked softly. “Because I've always thought you were beautiful. Even when we were kids.”
My breath caught in my throat. I'd never imagined Eli had felt that way about me, especially not back then. “Really?” I whispered, unable to hide the vulnerability in my voice.
He nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. “Really. Why do you think I was always so competitive with you? I was trying to impress you.”
I let out a shaky laugh. “Well, you did a terrible job. I thought you hated me for always beating you.”
“I never hated you, Colt,” Eli murmured, his fingers tracing along my jawline. “Well, maybe for a minute there at the end. But I think I was just sad to lose you.”
His words hit me like a punch to the gut. Because I understood exactly what he meant. I’d felt the same way. All those years of anger bubbling away weren’t because I hated Eli, it was because I was heartbroken to see him go.
I swallowed hard, my emotions threatening to overwhelm me. “I... I never hated you either,” I admitted softly. “I was just hurt when you left. When everyone left.”
Eli's eyes softened, and he leaned in to press a gentle kiss to my forehead. “I'm sorry,” he whispered against my skin. “I was young and stupid. I thought I needed to get away from here to become someone. I didn't realize what I was leaving behind.”
His words sent a shiver down my spine. “And now?” I asked, my voice barely audible.
Eli's hand cupped my cheek, his thumb tracing my bottom lip. “Now,” he said, his voice low and soft, “I'm right where I want to be.”
With that, he kissed me again, and this time there was no hesitation. I melted into Eli's kiss, my hands sliding up his chest to grip his shoulders. His body pressed against mine, gently pushing me back onto the bed. As my back hit the mattress, Eli's weight settled over me, solid and warm, though he was careful not to put weight on my ribs.
His lips trailed from my mouth to my jaw, then down my neck. I tilted my head back with a soft gasp, giving him better access. His teeth grazed my pulse point, sending sparks of pleasure through my body.
“Eli,” I breathed, my fingers tangling in his hair.
He hummed against my skin in response, the vibration making me shiver. His hands slid under my shirt, calloused palms skimming over my abs. I arched into his touch, desperate for more contact.
Eli pulled back slightly, his eyes dark with lust as they met mine. “Can I?”
I glanced down, seeing his gaze drop to the button on my jeans.
“Fuck, please,” I begged, knowing I didn’t have any other choice.