20. Eli
Chapter 20
Eli
I t was a long day spent in the truck driving down to pick up calves with my dad. I felt like I was fourteen again, helping out on the farm like I always had. The trip was the same as I remembered too. We stopped at the gas station for sodas and snacks, then hit the road with the windows down and old country music blaring.
Between songs we caught up on life, reconnecting after being apart for so long. I told Dad about everything that happened in Dallas, even before I lost the job. He told me about the farm and where he saw things going in the future. Granted, he was coming up on fifty years old in the next year or two, so he was trying to get ahead before the inevitable slow down. His PTSD episodes made that harder, but I was hopeful. After his lapse a few nights ago, he was nothing but smiles now, the dad I always remembered.
For the first time in quite a while, I was starting to feel like my old self too. All the drama with my job seemed to be long behind me, the perpetual bad mood it caused was gone too. With the stress of white-collar life left behind and the fresh air of Sagebrush in my lungs, I felt like a new man. But I knew there was another reason for my happiness too.
Colt.
The past week with him had been incredible. Not just physically of course, but also emotionally. The sex was incredible, don’t get me wrong. Definitely some of the best I’d ever had. But having someone near, someone I could talk to about anything, someone who trusted me with their secrets… that was the real source of joy. Despite how much I’d wanted to punch him over and over again when we’d first reunited, I was that much more infatuated with him now. In fact, I knew I was falling for him. Or I already had. I think if someone asked me directly, I wouldn’t be able to deny the fact that I was in love with Colt Dawson.
As I thought about Colt, a smile crept across my face. I turned to look out the window as we headed home with the calves in the trailer behind us. I hoped Dad wouldn't notice and start asking questions. I wasn't ready for that conversation just yet.
“What's got you grinning like a fool over there?” Dad asked, his voice gruff but tinged with amusement.
So much for hiding it. I cleared my throat. “Just happy to be home, I guess.”
Dad furrowed his brows but seemed to accept my answer. “Well, we're glad to have you back, son. Your mama's been missin’ you somethin’ fierce.” He lowered his voice a bit. “We both have.”
I chuckled. “I know. She only offered for me to come home every chance she got.”
“We didn’t want to make you feel bad,” Dad continued. “We know how much that big city job meant to you. But… I don’t know… just feels weird without you around.” He shrugged, taking a swig of his soda. “But I suppose all parents feel like that when the nest is empty. Before kids you don’t want to lose your freedom. But once you have them… well, you don’t want to let ‘em go.”
I swallowed hard, my throat suddenly tight. “I missed you guys too, Dad. More than I realized.”
We drove in comfortable silence for a while, the familiar landscape rolling by. I found my thoughts drifting back to Colt again. I wondered what he was up to, if he was thinking about me too.
As if reading my mind, Dad cleared his throat. “So, uh, you been spendin' a lot of time with that Dawson boy lately.”
My heart skipped a beat. “Oh, yeah. We've been catching up. It's been nice to reconnect with old friends.”
“Oh? You friends again? A few days ago, when you knocked him on his ass I was hearin’ a different story.”
“Yeah,” I laughed nervously. “I guess… people change you know? He seems better now.”
Dad nodded slowly. “Mmhmm. That's good. He always seemed like a good kid. Bit of a show-off, but good-hearted.” He paused, glancing at me. “You two seem awful close these days.”
I felt my cheeks flush and my heart race. Was Dad onto us? I tried to keep my voice casual. “Yeah, well, you know how it is when you reconnect after a long time. Lots to catch up on.”
Dad was quiet for a moment, his eyes fixed on the road ahead. Then he said softly, “Son, you know your mother and I love you no matter what, right?”
My stomach did a flip. “Of course, Dad. I know that.”
He nodded, still not looking at me. “Good. Because we do. And we just want you to be happy. That's all that matters to us.”
I swallowed hard, unsure how to respond. Part of me wanted to confess everything right then and there, but another part held back, still afraid that Colet wasn’t ready for anyone else to know.
“Thanks, Dad,” I managed to say. “That means a lot. It always has. When I came out, you and mom didn’t even bat and eye. I didn’t realize how lucky I was back then, but I do now. Especially when there are… other parents… who wouldn’t respond as kindly.”
My father nodded and the look in his eye told me he understood far more than I’d said. It didn’t take a genius to work out that Colt was all bravado to cover up a secret. A true showman never let the crowd see the man behind the prestige.
We drove on for another ten minutes in silence, just the radio thumping away and the warm Texas wind coming in through the windows. Thankfully my phone was on vibrate, so when it began to ring in my pocket, I felt it.
Pulling it out, I saw an old coworker’s name pop up. Jonathan Brexley. He’d worked in the same department as me, just on the other side of my cubicle. We’d had an easy sort of friendship, but nothing intimate by any means. When I needed a stiff drink after work, he went with me. We ate lunch together, talked a fair bit, but never about anything very important. After working with him for over a year, I was afraid I didn’t know that much about him. We’d only exchanged numbers to text lunch orders to one another.
Why was he calling me?
I turned the radio down and rolled up my window before I hit the green button and pulled the phone to my ear. “Hello?”
“Hey Eli!” the familiar jovial voice replied on the other side. “How’s it hangin’?”
Yep. It was Jonathan alright.
“I’m okay. How are you?” I asked cautiously.
“I’m good, man. Just getting settled into my new job.”
“New job?” I laughed. “How’d you get one so fast?”
“My old man had a buddy that needed an accountant. As soon as he found out I wasn’t the one in trouble with the SEC, he hired me on the spot.” I could hear the smile in his voice. “Isn’t that great?!”
“Yeah. That’s pretty cool,” I said, trying to cover up the jealousy I felt in the pit of my stomach.
“Where did you end up? Did ya get a new job somewhere?”
“Nah, I decided to take a break. Moved back up to Sagebrush with my folks for a while. Needed some time to unwind after that whole mess.”
“Fair, fair,” he replied. “Well, listen, I know it’s kinda odd for me to call you out of the blue like this. But I figured we were friends. Mostly coworkers, but still friends, right?”
“Yeah, I think that’s fair,” I nodded.
“Well, this new department I’m in is a bit short staffed. They’re looking for an experienced accountant to take over a management position.” He paused as if waiting for me to reply.
“Okay.”
“And I told them I knew just the guy.”
My heart skipped a beat. Was… Was Jonathan offering me a job? A better one than what I’d had?
“Me?” I asked, still in shock.
“Yeah, you! You’ve got the experience, and I already gave them the rundown on your resume. They want to hire you and they’re willing to pay double.”
My jaw nearly hit the floor. “D-Double?” I whispered.
“Ain’t that great? I figured you’d be excited!”
My mind raced. Double the salary? A management position? It was everything I'd been working towards in Dallas. Part of me was thrilled at the opportunity. But another part...
I glanced over at my dad, who was pretending not to listen, but I could tell by the set of his jaw that he was hanging on every word. I thought about the farm, about reconnecting with my family. About Colt.
“That's... that's really generous, Jonathan. I appreciate you thinking of me,” I said carefully. “Where exactly is this job located?”
“Oh, it's great! We're in Houston. Big city, lots to do. You'd love it here, man. And the office is less than an hour from the ocean!”
Houston. My stomach sank. It was even further than Dallas, hours further away from Sagebrush. From everything I'd just gotten back. From everything I felt like I was just about to discover.
“Listen, Jonathan, I really appreciate the offer. It sounds amazing. But?—”
“Take some time to think about it,” he said, cutting me off. “The boss doesn’t need an answer for a couple weeks.” There was some shuffling in the background, and I heard Jonathan’s muffled voice speaking with someone else. “Listen Eli, I gotta run. But let me know and we’ll get you set up! Talk to ya later!”
Before I could say anything, the line went dead. I dropped the phone to my lap, my mind still reeling from the call. I stared out the window, my thoughts in turmoil. The offer was tempting - more money, a better position, a fresh start in a new city. But the idea of leaving Sagebrush again, just when I was starting to feel at home, made my chest ache.
Dad cleared his throat. “Sounds like quite an opportunity,” he said, his voice carefully neutral.
I nodded, still processing. “Yeah, it is.”
“You gonna take it?”
I turned to look at him. There was a hint of sadness in his eyes, but mostly I saw understanding. He wanted me to be happy, even if that meant leaving again.
“I... I don't know,” I admitted. “A few weeks ago, I would have jumped at the chance. But now...”
Now there was Colt. And my family. And the slow, steady rhythm of life in Sagebrush that I was just starting to appreciate again.
Dad nodded, his eyes back on the road. “Well, you've got time to think about it. No need to rush into anything.”
I sighed, leaning my head back against the seat. “Yeah, I guess so.”
We drove in silence for a while, the familiar landscape rolling by. My mind was a whirlwind of conflicting thoughts and emotions. The job offer was tempting, but the idea of leaving Sagebrush - leaving Colt - made my heart hurt. It was only just a few hours ago that I realized I was in love with Colt Dawson. And now it seemed like the universe was conspiring to pull us apart again.
As we pulled up to the farm, I spotted a familiar truck parked near the barn. My heart skipped a beat when I recognized Colt's beat-up pickup.
“Looks like he didn’t run off,” Dad said, a knowing smile on his face. “Maybe he can help us with the calves.”
I tried to keep my expression neutral. “Oh, yeah. I guess so.”
Dad reached over, placing his hand on my shoulder. “Don’t let it worry you, okay? You’ll get this sorted out. And you’ll make the right choice. You always do.”
He gave me one last smile as I stepped out of the truck and headed for the barn. Colt waved to me, his face bright. He looked happier than usual, like he’d had a good day. I couldn’t bring myself to tell him about the job offer.
And I still didn’t know what I was going to do about it either.