10. Sol
CHAPTER 10
Sol
T he fact that he was reluctant to take this further because I was drunk only made me want him more. Despite that, he took my mouth like he owned it, and the sensation of his tongue wrestling with mine ricocheted down my center to the throb between my legs. Judging by how hard he was, he wanted this just as badly, if not more.
“Isolde,” he said my name like a purr, and I loved to hear it fall from his beautiful lips. Everything about him was so gorgeously made, so ruggedly pretty and enticing. I’d never felt like this about anyone I’d known less than a week, and if I stopped to think about it, I might have gone flailing off his lap and running to my room to hide. But I didn’t think, only acted, and everything in my body longed for everything in his.
“Orion,” I teased, nipping at his pulse point, dragging my teeth down to his collarbone before sinking them in with a tiny nip.
He bucked against me, groaning as his cock swiped over my clit. The added friction from his sweatpants rattled through me, and I whined, wanting more, needing more. He cupped my jaw with his giant palms and tilted my face up so I had to stare him in the eyes.
“I am not an easy man,” he growled, “in any way. When I fuck you, it’ll be hard and rough and you’ll wear my marks for days afterward. I’ll demand a lot from you, more than you’ll want to give.”
Sweet Lord. I yearned for that more than anything, especially because he’d said when and not if.
“Shouldn’t I be the judge of that?” I tried to lean in to kiss him, to end this dance of wills, but he held me firm.
“And what would your family think, hmm? You fucking a Bastard, moaning his name, and wearing his scent?” He raised his eyebrows, canting his hips at just the right angle to stroke my clit again, making me moan from the sensations ricocheting through my body. I shivered at the feral way he looked at me, digging his fingers into my jaw.
“They’re not here,” I said. “And I don’t care.”
His irises shifted blue, and suddenly, it didn’t matter why they did, only that they flashed for me and me alone.
“I want you, Orion,” I said, dragging my hands over his shoulders and up to his neck, brushing the back of his soft, dark hair. “You want me. What’s the problem?”
God, what a loaded question. There were so many reasons to stop this, but none of them were as important as seeing it through. I danced on the edge of a proverbial cliff, staring down into the abyss, knowing I needed to jump to fully understand myself. But once I did, there’d be no going back. A fierce primal instinct had taken over, one that could no longer be denied. I didn’t know if it had been there my entire life or if it was being around Orion that brought it out, but now that it was there, I had to obey it. I had no other choice.
“You shouldn’t want me, Princess,” he said. “You should want some rich fuck boy who drives a car worth more than my life.”
Or a Bloody Scorpion that made a deal with my brother.
I ignored thoughts like that, shoving them deep down inside where they became a problem for another version of Isolde. I hadn’t told them about my so-called arrangement, and I wasn’t sure I ever would. I planned to fight it, I planned to find a way out, and once I did, it wouldn’t matter anymore.
Perhaps sensing this hesitation, he sighed and let me move closer to him, enough that I could drag my tongue across his bottom lip before pressing my mouth against his for another searing kiss. He tasted like whiskey and man and the combination rattled my soul, making my blood thump harder through my veins.
“Fuck,” he growled, but that broke the last bit of his hesitation, and he grabbed my ass, holding me against him while he stood and headed toward the stairs. It turned me on even more that he could carry me like this, and when he got to his room, he kicked the door shut behind him before carefully sitting me down on the bed. I scooted back toward the pillows, marveling at the desire dancing behind his eyes and the smirk on his full, delicious lips. “You’re in trouble now.”
“Oh?” I raised my eyebrows and tilted my chin up in clear defiance. “Do your worst.”
He made a dark chuckling sound and leaned toward me, putting his arms on either side of my hips so I had nowhere else to go. I lay down when he crawled on top of me, trying not to shiver from both anticipation and the contrast of the cool night air with the heat radiating off him.
“My worst?” He tucked his nose along my hairline, dragging it along the side of my face to my neck, where he took a long, slow inhale and hummed. “You’ll regret that.”
“I won’t.” I tried to match his tone with a ferocious one of my own, but it paled in comparison. I moaned as he lapped his hot, wet tongue over my throat, once…twice…a third time, and I wrapped my hands around his neck to tunnel them through the back of his thick, silky hair.
“How about I save my worst for a day where we haven’t been drinking for the last three hours?” He grabbed my wrist and brought it to his mouth where he breathed me in and licked from the edge of my palm to my elbow. “When I take out my inner beast on you, we’ll both be sober and you’ll beg me for it.”
“Please,” I said again, my muscles shaking under him. He went to the other wrist, holding it still while he gave it the same treatment, like he was trying to consume me, gobble me whole.
“Patience, little princess.” The words rushed against my skin like a caress and I quivered harder, my thighs soaked with desire for him, my lower stomach clenching with each pass of his velvet tongue.
The nickname started out as a taunt from Lycan, but when Orion said it, I became actual royalty, like he was my king and I was his to do with as he pleased, biddable and submissive. I’d get on my knees and grovel if I had to, anything for him to give me special treatment.
He sat back on his haunches, staring down at me with bright blue eyes gone to the wildness of the night. When he smiled, I could have sworn his canine teeth were longer and more pointed, but I was too enthralled to question it.
“Touch yourself,” he said, guiding one of my hands to the sensitive skin between my legs. “Go on. Show me how you like it.”
I wasn’t a virgin by any stretch of the imagination, but I’d never masturbated in front of a lover before. Most of my encounters had been proper and prudent, missionary only and occasionally from behind if the guy was into it. I could count the number of times I’d climaxed with a partner on one hand, but I suspected Orion would rectify that.
Insecurity twisted my stomach, but hadn’t I begged him for this? Hadn’t I stripped in front of him and summoned the courage of someone else, someone more in touch with their sexuality? I pushed my fingers between my legs and rubbed at my clit, throwing my head back when a moan barreled out of my throat. Sparks of euphoria rushed through my veins, settling my nerves, and Orion pushed my legs farther apart, resting his big callused palms on my knees so he could rub circles over my thighs with his thumbs.
“That’s it,” he murmured, “that’s my good girl.”
Chills rocketed down my spine at those two words, tearing through my last bit of hesitation. I loved when he said that. I loved pleasing him and putting on this show. It amped up my arousal, making me wetter, and I grabbed my nipple with my other hand, squeezing until it pinched. But I liked that, too.
“I can smell you,” he said, running his hands up my legs, just to the juncture of my pelvis before back down again. “Mouthwatering like woman and need and desire. It’s intoxicating.”
I let out a demented laugh and rubbed myself harder, dipping lower so I could enter myself and hit that special spot inside that sent me reeling.
“Fuck, you’re so wet,” he said, moving so he lay next to me, his nose tucked against my neck. “Can you hear it?”
“I can,” I said, pumping myself harder, circling myself faster. Being here with him, so exposed and vulnerable, it should have disgusted me. He was the enemy and if my family ever found out, they’d disown me or worse. I was supposed to be engaged to the president of the Scorpions, but with Orion’s body heat so close and the feel of his tongue rubbing against the most sensitive parts of my neck, I couldn’t be bothered with that. He pressed closer to me, and his cock jerked against the outside of my thigh as he thrust his hips in time with my fingers, almost like he could fuck me through my hand.
The whole experience was so erotic and intimate that I didn’t think I’d last much longer, so I turned my face toward him, desperate to kiss him, willing him to connect with me somehow. He leaned his head away, staring into me with those sky eyes, the pupils now so dilated that they were almost entirely black.
“Are you close, Princess?” he growled, rutting into the mattress harder while he ghosted his fingertips over my face and down to my lips.
I nodded and opened them, sucking one finger inside when it got close enough. He groaned and thrust harder, and I furiously swiped over my clit, so gone to the haze of lust and whiskey that I couldn’t tell right from wrong. My senses had been left somewhere downstairs, and now the only thing I knew was him and the only thing I wanted was more.
He pushed his finger inside my mouth faster, pressing down on my tongue like he was imagining putting other parts of his anatomy between my lips. At the visual of me on my knees for him, sucking him to oblivion, I lost control. My climax took me with a passion, so hard and quick that I couldn’t fuck myself fast enough. I arched off the bed, moaning and crying. And he held me through it, running his hands over my chest and down my stomach, murmuring words that I couldn’t comprehend—things like, “Fucking beautiful” and “Mine, only mine,” and “Just wait. You’re such a good girl.”
He whimpered and pushed one last time into the mattress, tucking his face against my windpipe and lapping at my skin with his tongue. In the aftermath, he looked up at me with his hair all ruffled and his eyes glazed over with the aftereffects of our connection. So adorable, nothing like the grumpy man who’d yelled at me in the barn a few days ago.
I smiled and ran my hand down the side of his face, belatedly realizing it was the same one I’d had stuffed inside my pussy. But he turned his head toward the touch and sucked my fingers into his mouth, rubbing his tongue over them like he was trying to get my taste off them.
“You’re so beautiful,” I said, shaking my head as I wondered how I’d gotten lucky enough to be found by him. It could have been anyone out on those roads. It could have been another Bastard or a Scorpion or hell, no one at all. But Orion had been a gift to me, and I appreciated whatever fates had put me in his path.
“You’re really drunk,” he said.
“No,” I replied, though I was. “I mean it.”
The release of hormones had mixed with the liquor in my nervous system, finally catching up to the hard work we’d done out in the barn. My eyelids weighed a ton and his mattress was so warm and comfortable. It smelled like him—pine and cologne and soap and him. So decadently him.
I was asleep before I could stop myself.
* * *
The next morning, I blinked against the bright sunshine streaming in through a break in the curtains. Voices echoed from downstairs, and I winced as a sharp pang radiated through my head.
“Ugh.” I groaned and rolled onto my back, taking a second to remember where I was and what I’d done. Alone in his bed, Orion’s thick, heady scent permeated the atmosphere, all the more entrancing for what we’d done last night. Despite having a raging headache and a hangover, I grinned to myself at the memories.
Sure, it had been relatively PG-13 considering how willing I was to take things further, but the sight of him between my legs and the grin on his lips when I came sent a flush into my cheeks.
I stretched and shifted to his side of the bed, taking a long, slow inhale of him, letting it settle my nerves.
He’d let me sleep here. He’d let me stay the whole night.
But then the consequences of what we’d done set in. What would my family think? What would they do when they found out? Percy didn’t own me, much to his chagrin, and he couldn’t make me marry Marx if I didn’t want to. But if I didn’t figure out a plan soon…if I didn’t contact Guin and work out a different way…the family might suffer. Without ranchers to finish the winter work, the business would take a hit, which would have downstream impacts that I didn’t fully understand.
Don’t I deserve to be happy? Don’t I deserve freedom?
What would Orion do when he found out? If he found out? We were enemies. After the snow melted, I would go back to being Isolde Vanderbilt, and he’d go back to being the vice president of the Royal Bastards Motorcycle Club. Nothing had changed…right?
That nascent, primal part of me that I’d discovered last night blinked awake, coating my insides with boiling frustration. I’d only been here six days, but I’d trade the rest of my family fortune if it meant I got to stay forever. Every day, I grew more comfortable with Orion, Lycan, and Poe than I’d ever felt with my toxic family. I’d gladly shovel shit until I croaked, if it meant I’d never have to go back home.
Does that make me selfish? Is it okay to put myself before my family?
Deciding that was too much for one hungover morning, I pushed myself out of bed and found one of Orion’s oversize shirts. After pulling it over my head and slipping my arms into it, I paused to take in his deep woodsy scent, delighting in the delicious warmth that it brought to my heart. I loved it, perhaps too much. I put on a pair of his sweatpants and opened the door, combing my hair into place with my fingers as I made my way downstairs.
“There she is,” Lycan said, giving me a big smile from the kitchen table. “How’d you sleep?”
“Great,” I said with a yawn, my chest tightening when I didn’t see Orion.
Poe stood at the stove, shoveling eggs and bacon around in a pan while he winked. “There’s coffee in the carafe.”
“Thank you.” I walked to the bathroom to freshen up and do my business, and when I came back out, my favorite Bastard still wasn’t there. “I apologize for not getting up early enough to help with breakfast. I’ll clean up.”
“No worries,” Poe said, eyeing me with a knowing glint to his brown eyes.
“Besides,” Lycan cut in, “sounds like you had a… hard night.”
Poe snickered, and heat flooded up my neck and into my cheeks.
“Oh, yeah? And how was yours?” I teased, trying to choke back my indignation as I poured myself a cup of juice. “I didn’t know the Bastards were so close.”
“There’s only room for one Poe in my bed and my heart,” Lycan said with a dreamy inflection.
“That’s bullshit,” Poe said, tilting his head to the side. “Lycan would fuck anything with a heartbeat and a warm hole.”
The front door opened and boots stomped on the ground. A sharp pang went through my head, echoing down into my heart and lungs, and I blamed it on the whiskey. Panic flooded my bloodstream, squeezing my chest with realization.
What if he rejects me? What if he regrets it? What if he found out my secret?
His footsteps echoed through the house, and I held my breath when he leaned up against the pillar in the kitchen, raking his gaze over the two brothers before landing on me. He shucked off his gloves and nodded.
“Good morning, Princess,” he purred. “Glad to see you’re in one piece.”
“Yeah, most women can’t walk after a night in Orion’s bed,” Lycan teased, ducking quickly out of the way when Orion threw his gloves at his head.
“Are you feeling okay?” Ry nodded to the stove. “Did you get some breakfast to soak up the liquor?”
“I was just headed there,” I said, grabbing a plate so I could hold it out to Poe. He scooped eggs and a piece of bacon on it before handing me two slices of toast.
“Make sure you eat,” Orion said, straightening. “We don’t work as hard on Saturdays, but you still need your strength.”
“I will,” I said, sitting in the same spot I’d taken the last few days and ignoring the way I lived to please him. I liked when he gave me orders, like it freed me up from the responsibility of having to take care of myself, and there were too many implications of that for me to digest before I’d had my caffeine.
“Have you heard from your family?” Orion asked.
I bit into a piece of bacon, but it tasted sour when accompanied by his question.
“Trying to get rid of me so soon?” I forced myself to swallow down my bitterness, glancing up to where he hovered by the stove. Poe grabbed his own plate and headed toward the front door, followed shortly by Lycan. They must have sensed this would be an awkward conversation, but there truly was no reason for that. I’d figured out where this was heading this morning, and it couldn’t be anywhere good.
I was a big girl. I could handle it if Orion had decided what happened last night was a mistake. We’d had a lot to drink. It didn’t need to happen again.
“I don’t want them to send the cops up here looking for you,” he said, finally meeting my gaze with a soft one of his own.
“They won’t.” I returned my attention to my plate. “Don’t worry.”
He cleared his throat and moved to the spot Poe normally sat in, pulling out the chair before lowering his body into it.
“Look, about last night,” he started, but I figured I’d cut him off to save my pride.
“Don’t worry about that, either,” I said, taking another bite of the rancid bacon, my stomach twisting, my head throbbing, every joint in agony. “It was only because we were drunk.” I tried the eggs, but they too tasted like dirt. The only thing that looked remotely appetizing was the toast, so I picked that up and took a nibble before continuing. “Besides, it’s not like we did anything serious, right? We were just having fun.”
“Right. Fun.” He nodded and swallowed deeply, straightening as he dropped his attention to the ground between us. “It’s not because I don’t think you’re gorgeous or…that I didn’t enjoy myself, but?—”
“We’re enemies,” I said, letting the weight of my shame settle in my gut. I’d never be good enough for someone like Orion, no matter what I did or how hard I worked. To him, I’d always be a Vanderbilt. Just like I’d always been the fourth daughter to my father and the easiest to sell to my brother. Nothing I did ever mattered. “In the real world. Once the snow melts.”
“You’ll go back to being you,” he explained, “and I’ll go back to being me.”
“Right.” I pursed my lips and gave him a firm nod, blinking back the burning in my eyes and gulping down the fire in my throat.
I’m not good enough for him. I’ll never be good enough for anyone. This is for the best.
“Right,” he said again, returning his gaze to me. “Call your folks. The weather should be nice enough today for them to land the chopper out by the lake. I’ll walk you down there myself.”
“And if they can’t?” I raised an eyebrow. “It’s not like my family is just sitting around, waiting to rescue me.”
“You’re welcome here as long as you need,” he said, pushing to his feet. “But come Wednesday, the guys and I have to take a field trip down to another cabin. No one will be here to keep you company.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Can I go with you?”
“No,” he said, leaving no room for argument. “It’s probably best if you’re gone by then.”
As if that was final, he stood and headed toward the front door, where Lycan and Poe were likely ignoring their breakfasts on the porch in favor of eavesdropping.
“Eat your eggs,” he said, putting his hat back on his head. “We’ll head down to the barn to get things ready. Meet us down there whenever you’re up for it.”
Telling myself it would be childish to cry, I forced the rest of the toast down my aching throat, wondering what the hell Poe had done to it this morning. Was he so hungover that he’d forgotten how to cook? All of it tasted like garbage, even the coffee.
Deciding I wasn’t that hungry, I dumped it in the trash, cleaned the dishes Poe had used to make the breakfast, and headed back upstairs to my room, where I shucked Orion’s clothes to the ground so I could wear whatever I found in the lost and found. Every time I breathed him in, it reminded me of the way his tongue licked across my neck and that it would never happen again. I couldn’t be around it. I needed something neutral.
Clad in oversize apparel that smelled like mothballs, I went to my phone to turn it on and try my eldest sister again. I had a bunch of missed calls from Percy and a few from Liam and Maeve. But the only person I wanted to talk to was the one that could save me from my brother.
She still didn’t answer, and when I left another voicemail, I realized it was time to stop fussing around. I’d have to leave soon, and if I went home with no plan, Percy would use that against me. I needed to be prepared to come out swinging, with or without Guin’s help. Ignoring it for the last few days had not done me any favors, so now I would start plotting the way my father would have.
While I ruminated, I needed to do something to blow off steam, to get rid of the churning in my gut. Despite the headache and the body chills, the house had been wrecked by our drinking last night. There was a decade’s worth of grime in the cupboards, and my skin crawled when I remembered the state of the bathroom.
I couldn’t go out and face Orion, not after this morning. He didn’t want me, and the sting of not being good enough for him…of never being able to be good enough for him…ached deep in my bones.
No, I wanted to stay inside and give the Fiver a good scrubbing, and as I stood to walk downstairs to let the guys know, I realized I should have been more freaked out by that compulsion. Since when had a Vanderbilt wanted to clean anything?
What the hell is happening to me?