15. Sol
CHAPTER 15
Sol
W hen the sun dropped low, we headed into the woods. The snow had melted to only knee deep, and I feared that, by the time we returned in the morning, the roads would be clear enough to travel.
Despite the lore that Orion and Lycan had spent most of the day explaining, I still expected to wander out to the forest, only for nothing to happen. But that couldn’t be true. My so-called shifter side brewed in my molecules, racing through my veins with a primitive drive that I’d never experienced before. My body temperature ran hotter, and I didn’t need as many clothes to stay warm in the cold winter air.
Orion walked next to me as Lycan led us to a clearing about a mile away from the cabin.
“Will I still be me?” I asked, gulping against a sudden panic. My stomach churned with anticipation, the way it felt before getting on a roller coaster or jumping off a high dive. There existed the possibility that this could end badly, but that dread mixed with the almost certainty that it would be okay, pulsing adrenaline under my skin.
“You’ll still know you’re you, but it’ll be harder to ignore the wild side of things.” Orion touched my lower back, guiding me ahead of him, and the simple connection relieved some of the tightness in my chest. With Orion here, I could do anything…be anything.
“In case this doesn’t work out,” I said, “it’s been wonderful spending this time with you.”
“Don’t talk like that, Princess,” Orion said, turning toward me. He cupped my face and leaned down to kiss my forehead, conveying so much comfort and kindness in that one move. The tenderness his touch echoed down my torso and the back of my legs, curling my toes. The part of his magic that still swirled in my veins danced, wanting to wrap itself in his arms and never let go again.
“This should be good,” Lycan said, glancing around at the snow-covered trees and darkening sky. “We’re still close enough to the Fiver to protect the animals if anything happens, but far enough away not to scare them.”
He tilted his head to the side and cracked his neck, closing his blue eyes to presumably allow his wolf to take over. He started to yank his clothes off and Poe toed the back of his boots to do the same.
I turned to Orion, taking my cues from him. He nodded and pulled his shirt overhead, so I did the same. I stripped out of my jeans and T-shirt, folding them into a nice little pile and placing them next to the pack of food and water that Orion had brought.
“Come back to this spot when the sun rises,” Orion said. “And for the love of God, leave the natural wolves alone.”
“Honestly, I don’t plan to leave your side,” I said with a smile, wrapping my arms around myself to protect my modesty, but it didn’t seem like Lycan and Poe had any concerns about that. I figured that I should get over it if I ever hoped to turn with the pack.
“You’ll be okay, baby girl,” Orion murmured, wrapping an arm around my neck to pull me in. I hugged him and moaned when his scalding skin touched mine, that same electrifying tether sizzling over my body.
I wanted to tell him how grateful I was for him, how much I needed him now that I’d discovered who I truly was, but I caught sight of the moon low on the horizon and all words stopped. It hung so beautiful there…so radiant and full…so mesmerizing.
I stepped away from Orion when a yank in my stomach punched down my spine, knocking my knees out from under me. I dropped to all fours as fire erupted through my veins, boiling me from the inside out. Groaning, I looked up for Orion, but he, too, was in the grips of his shift. He’d also sunk to the ground, the massive expanse of his ribs rising and falling as he groaned. I tried to remember what they’d told me, that focusing on my breath would get me through it, but the pain overwhelmed my senses. Arching my back into the mind-numbing agony, I zeroed in on that ethereal presence in the sky, that ever present moon that would now dictate my life in ways I’d never imagined.
I’d never been so entranced, so out of control of my own actions, and it terrified me.
Calm down, that animalistic voice said. Give over to me. Let me take it.
No, I couldn’t. I needed to stay in command of myself. I didn’t want to be someone else. I didn’t want to lose my mind to a strange, alien creature.
It’s okay, it said. Trust me.
Unable to withstand it any longer, I wilted into its blinding fury. Flames burned up the back of my esophagus and I heaved on the forest floor, wishing that the contents of my stomach would move so that I’d feel better. But when I glanced down at the ground, I blinked in horror at the sight of my skin sliding from my arms. My face screamed, and I spat out what I thought was vomit, but nearly wretched again when I recognized it as my teeth. My tongue went next, and I pushed it out onto the bloody pile forming on the snowy ground.
Pressure built behind my eyes and I clenched them shut to alleviate it, but the agony grew too intense. When I opened them again, my vision flickered as they popped out of my head onto the pile, replaced by my new animal eyes. Fox eyes. I gasped, desperate to fill my lungs with crisp air as my flesh melted from my bones, twisting and reforming. My skull stretched, unhinging my jaw as a soft furry muzzle pushed its way out of my throat, replacing what had once been my face.
I rolled onto my back as my body convulsed, splintering and breaking apart to rebuild around new tissue that hadn’t been there moments ago. Claws erupted from my fingertips, chipping my nails and cracking my flesh into long stringy threads that fell away as russet paws took their place.
Give over to me, the fox said. Give over.
Relenting, I tried to hold back my panic as my legs cracked, my knees bending backward to form my new hindquarters, accommodating the rear end of the beast. All I knew was the agony, the pain and torture of the Call. The moon had me, the fox had me, and I could no longer deny the fact that this was real. I was a shifter, for better or worse, and the damage was irreversible. I couldn’t resist anymore, maybe I never could.
Perhaps I would die like this; perhaps it was better for me to disappear into the woods and never return to my former life. Death had finally come knocking at my door, and all I had to do was answer.
Let it take me . Let it end here.
Just when I’d surrendered to the possibility that my life was over, the suffering shifted into something… more. Something blissful and euphoric. My lungs cleared, allowing me to suck in sweet, delicious winter oxygen, and my fox’s gaze caught on the moon again. The beautiful, powerful moon. Ever changing. Ever calling. Ever calming.
It’s okay, the fox side of me said. We’re okay.
A warm muzzle nudged at my cheek, giving a little yip before touching me again. I rolled over onto all fours and tried to stand, my shaking legs giving out on me so I fell flat on my face. I glanced at the big obsidian wolf staring at me with clear blue eyes, and he prodded me again, pulling his lips back into a grin as he lolled his tongue out of the side of his mouth.
So I tried once more, this time feeling more stable as I took a step. When I had my balance, I looked over my shoulder to my long, bushy tail, half the same color as my coat and the other half matching the snow, and gave it a test wag. Even that seemed instinctual, like thinking too much about it would only make it harder for me.
Yes, the fox said. Yes. Yes!
I threw my head back and yipped with excitement, pouncing around in the snow before sitting back on my haunches to launch myself at Orion’s massive furry form. He was so much bigger than me, but that didn’t seem to matter when I leaped onto my back feet and scratched at his face with my front claws. He pointed his muzzle up at the moon and let out a loud, yawning howl that echoed through the forest. Lycan, now in the form of a big white wolf, joined in, followed by Poe, who had a deep chestnut coat nearly the same color as his human hair. I tried to howl like the wolves, but my noises were more high-pitched and screeching.
When it was over, I leaned down on my forearms and stuck my butt in the air, wagging my tail from one side to the other, an open invitation to play. Orion chuffed and turned away, pretending to ignore me. But the bond between us flowed more deeply now that we were in animal form, and I could tell he’d only done it to be sassy.
Fine then . There was so much else to explore, and I used my new fox nose to smell around the forest. Everything was richer and more amazing. I sniffed along the edge of the clearing, savoring the exquisite wonder of all that nature had to offer. Rabbits and squirrels had burrowed themselves deep for the night, and a few coyotes lingered downwind, perhaps having heard the commotion from our shift and deciding to stick around in case they wanted to investigate.
But it was too much excitement for me to stay still. I raced through the snow as fast as my legs could carry me, jumping over fallen logs and pouncing off trees while I waited for the others to catch up. Lycan indulged my more playful side. He kept up with me, bumping my body with his in an attempt to get me to race. I knew he’d win as he had much longer legs, but that wasn’t the point.
Together, we took off into the brush, slinging snow and mud behind us as we ran. I yelled and squeaked, and the thrill of it was so addictive that I didn’t think I ever wanted to turn back to human. If the transformation wasn’t so traumatic, I’d turn into a fox every night.
I lost track of how long we ran through the woods like that, but being so carefree lifted a heavy weight off my heart. I’d finally found my place in the world, and when I backtracked to saddle up next to Orion’s heavy form, I realized it was by his side.
“Having fun?” came his deep, rustic voice inside my head.
I widened my eyes and chirped louder. “We can talk like this?”
“Not with everyone,” he said. “ But you and I have a special connection.”
“Because of the transition?” I rubbed my body against his, purring when his decadent, heady scent plumed around me and inside me. It marked me as his as much as my scent marked him as mine.
“Sure, little fox,” he said, but even then, I sensed that he wasn’t being completely honest with me…that there was more to our connection that he hadn’t yet shared.
“I love it,” I said, my heart pounding as he shoved me with a shoulder and gave me a small bite on the rump. I jumped and turned to face him, leaning down again, hoping that he might take the bait and enjoy a little play.
He did, returning the position before setting off ahead of me to instigate a game of chase. I tore after him, my feet pounding into the snow, and I let out huffs of laughter, my joy nearly overflowing in my soul. I wanted more. I wanted everything.
* * *
The transformation back to my human form took more out of me. It was like the initial shift but reverse, leaving me exhausted and on the edge of tears. We found our way back to the clearing, where I lay down next to Orion and shook my body until my fur exploded into nothingness. My bones cracked and reformed, stretching into the shape I’d taken for twenty-five years. The pain was excruciating, and I was suddenly thankful it only happened once a month.
When it was over, I blinked against the brightening sky, the rays of sunshine radiating through the tree line like heaven itself had touched our little slice of paradise. The snow had melted even more overnight, and now blades of grass popped out of the top like tiny dials counting down my imminent return to normalcy.
Lycan and Poe stood first, ambling over to the spot where we’d stashed our clothes, but Orion put an arm over my waist and pulled my back to his chest, burying his nose in my hair.
“You smell like flowers in the summertime,” he murmured, and I glanced over my shoulder to see him smiling down at me. Turning in his embrace, I nuzzled my head under his chin and breathed him in deep, relishing in the strange comfort that came with his scent.
“You smell like trees and sweat and outside.”
He laughed and kissed my temple, running his lips over the bridge of my nose before using his to tilt my face up. I kissed him and sighed into the sensations that tingled down my spine, the very essence of him inside me singing with intimacy.
“C’mon, you disgusting lovebirds,” Lycan called, tossing my boots closer to my body.
“I guess we ought to go,” I murmured.
Orion nodded and rolled onto his knees before helping me into a sitting position. Aside from feeling like I’d put my body through a few marathons, I didn’t mind this part of the shift. The worst was over, and now that the call of the moon had ebbed, my fox had retreated further in my mind.
“It gets easier,” he said, “once you’re used to it.”
“I’m glad you were here,” I said, smiling.
“Yeah, me too.” He nodded toward the others. “Let’s get back to the cabin.”
We dressed and ate our sandwiches while we eased our way back to the Fiver, all four of us aching and limping. When we got there, I’d never been so happy to see such a tiny house. It smelled like fire and us inside, and the comfort of it unfurled heat in my gut. I never wanted to leave, not even after the snow melted.
Orion intertwined his fingers in mine and led me upstairs to his room, refusing to break contact until I’d collapsed in his bed. Even then, he allowed the separation for as long as it took him to undo the laces on my boots, remove them, and kick off his own. Then, he wrapped his massive body around me, pulled me in tight, and relented to his exhaustion. Truthfully, I didn’t know how he’d made it through the whole night. He’d looked like a wreck after helping me through my transition, and though he emerged from the shift without his wounds, like he said he would, I couldn’t imagine how tired he must have been.
It irritated me that the bite marks were gone, but as I drifted off to sleep, I told myself I’d just have to make them again…as soon as we got some rest. In my dreams, Orion chased me through the woods in wolf form. I ran as fast as I could, my little fox legs working hard to carry me through the undergrowth. When he caught me, he latched his massive jaw around my throat and held me down, forcing me to submit. I did with mirth and joy in my heart, knowing that he wouldn’t hurt me, that this was the game. Our game. Our dance.
Pleasure echoed up my body and brought me back to reality some time later, and a massive hand had replaced his teeth on my windpipe. I gasped as a long, warm tongue speared through my pussy, a hot, decadent mouth latching on to my clit with an unrelenting suck.
“Orion,” I groaned, arching my back into the touch.
I reached under the blankets to tunnel my hands through his thick hair, and he laughed against my skin.
“Someone’s finally awake,” he said before giving me another languid lick. “Good morning, baby girl.”
“Good morning,” I murmured, rolling my pelvis against his face. Tendrils of lust sparked over my skin, and I wondered how long he’d been at it before I woke because I was terribly close to coming already. I pushed the covers down so I could watch him, and the sight of his dark head between my legs nearly shoved me off the edge into oblivion. He glanced up at me with eyes gone to his wolf, his sky blue irises reflecting in the afternoon sun.
It was more than just the physical sensations of my nerves being lit on fire. He was in my veins, my very soul igniting with wanton desire, my blood singing for him. Echoes of his magic inside me bubbled to the surface, and I gasped, sensing both him and me in my molecules. I didn’t end at the edge of my skin. No. I existed in him. He existed in me. And the feeling was so familiar and foreign at the same time, it overwhelmed my senses.
My animal nature took over, the side of me that had connected so deeply to him, and my canines elongated in my mouth as my orgasm ripped through me. I held his head where I wanted it the most, and he dove in with a fury, devouring me like his favorite meal. He wrapped his lips around my sensitive skin, sucking me, nibbling gently with his teeth while flicking my clit with his tongue. Nothing had ever felt so good, and no partner had ever been able to anticipate what I wanted better than him.
The rush of hormones had barely subsided before Orion pulled his lips back over his teeth, flashing his long canines and sinking them down on the inside of my thigh. I hissed in a breath at the stab of agony, but it quickly turned to pleasure when he pulled away and I saw the marks left behind.
“Do you like that, Princess?” he asked as he swiped a long lick over the bite with a low purr in his chest. “There’s no more hiding from me, no more running.”
“I like it.” I bit my bottom lip as I grinned, luxuriating in the thought of us belonging to each other in ways that had never occurred to me before coming here, before learning what I was.
“You better,” he said, crawling up my body to put his hands on either side of my ribs. I allowed myself the indulgence of touching his skin, raking my fingers up his spine to the muscles on his chest and abs. He was so beautiful, it nearly brought me to tears.
“Good,” I said, using my body weight to flip us so he was under me and my legs were on either side of his stomach. “Because there are some things I’ve been wanting to do.”
He raised his eyebrows, giving me a wicked grin that sent chills down my spine. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” I pressed a kiss to his mouth before moving over his beard to his throat, pausing at his pulse point to lick and taste the skin there. His scent permeated the space between us, thick and heady and mixed with a new darkness that seemed reserved just for me, just for times like this. I sucked on the skin harder, pressing in my canines so that they left an imprint the same as he’d done to my thigh.
“Fuck yes,” he said, grabbing the back of my head to hold me there while he arched under me. “Mark me, baby girl.”
I did. I made little love bites all the way down his chest, staring up at him while I descended. He never took his eyes off me, crossing one arm under his head while he ran the other through my tangled ginger hair. When I got to his stomach, I peppered the skin under his belly button with licks and soft kisses, purposely ignoring his perfect cock, which stood straight and hard and begging for attention.
I teased the area around it—his thighs, his groin, the indents on his hips making a perfect arrow toward the tortured flesh.
“Princess,” he groaned, bucking his hips toward my face, but I grinned and kept going, raking my claws down the insides of his legs, leaving red welts that pleased the fox. Anyone who dared get close to this skin would see them and know I’d been here before…that I’d claimed him.
I grabbed his cock, finally pressing a tender kiss to the tip before daring to give him a firm lick. He groaned and threw his head back, the movement of his Adam’s apple as he swallowed urging me on. I swiped my tongue over the whole thing this time, root to tip, and he growled, clamping his fingers harder in my hair.
“Fuck, you’ve been wanting to do this for days?” He moaned when I nodded and took the whole thing in my mouth, sucking him back nearly to the edge of my throat before rising up to let him go with a loud pop.
“Since you rescued me from the wolves.” I laughed when he shook his head and made a noise of frustration, but that was the reaction I wanted. I kept going, paying attention to the noises he made, and when I dropped to the swollen knot at the base of his cock, swirling my tongue around the thick, angry flesh, nuzzling my nose against it while I kissed his balls, he panted and his legs trembled next to my head.
That really turned me on, the slick between my legs so evident that it dripped down either side of my thighs. That, too, would take some getting used to, and even though I’d just climaxed a few moments ago, I wanted more of him. I wanted to do it again.
“Fuck, right there, baby girl. Keep going. Make me come. God, your mouth is amazing. Everything about you is amazing.” The words echoed in my head like they had when we were shifted, and I nearly stopped to ask him why we could still hear each other. But I’d never been one to disobey an order like that. So I kept lapping at his knot, alternating between that and swallowing him down deep. Tears came to my eyes as I gagged around him, tightening my throat when I slotted him in as far as he would go.
It pleased me that I could have such control over him, that I could bring a powerful man to the brink of shaking and pleading. And just when he’d been about to release, he yanked my head off him and sat up to kiss me, grabbing me by the back of the legs so he could maneuver me up his body. He lined himself up at my entrance and I sank all the way down, wincing at the soft ache between my legs. It had only been two days since my transition, and the shift hadn’t healed me all the way. But that didn’t matter. Once he was fully seated inside me, I rocked against him, the friction amplifying our connection.
“Look at me,” he said, and I wrapped my arms around his neck while I stared in his eyes. They were so clear, I thought I could see straight through to his soul. He fucked up into me, thrusting his hips while he held me, our bodies fiery against each other. “You’re such a good little princess. You take me so well.”
“I love it,” I whispered, throwing my head back as another climax threatened to yank me under its terrible weight. “More. More.”
He growled again, this time lower and deeper, before latching on to my throat and digging his teeth in, not hard enough to break the skin, but enough to leave a mark.
Oh, how I wanted him to do it for real. How I wanted him to draw blood again, to lap at my life force and feel our magic intertwine the way it had when I’d been under the grips of the change. It was still in me, and when another orgasm clenched through my body, seizing my muscles and forcing me to bear down on him, he found his own release.
He came inside me, filling me with his essence once again, his knot swelling thick and heavy, hitting pleasure centers I didn’t even know I had. It was so arousing that even after the apex of our shared pleasure ended, I continued to ride him, to rock my hips back and forth, searching for more.
He hissed through his teeth and stared up at me, clamping his fingers around my hips to slow me down.
“Patience, baby girl,” he said with a laugh. I marveled at the sight of his long, sharp canines and ran my fingers over their magnificent length. He let me, moaning out a soft hum when I touched the pointed tip.
“Are they sensitive?” I watched with amazement as he opened his jaw wider to let me explore.
He nodded and hummed a soft approval.
“Sorry,” I said, dropping my hand to his shoulder. “I didn’t mean to hurt?—”
“You can touch me anywhere, anytime you want,” he said. “My fangs, my claws, my knot, all of it is for you.”
“Such things you say.” I let out a sad sigh as reality crashed back around me, remembering that we only had a day…maybe two…before I had to go back to my Vanderbilt mansion and deal with my evil older brother.
“I’m serious,” he murmured, lying back on the bed and bringing me down with him so my head rested just under his chin.
We’d be stuck like this for a few more moments until his knot loosened to let me go. But truthfully, I didn’t want that. I wanted to stay in this bed with him forever. I rolled my hips against him again, squeezing my internal muscles as I grinned up at his response.
“We have to go downstairs sometime,” he said. “We have work to do.”
“Hmm.” I pushed myself up, pressing my hands into his stomach so I could rock my pelvis, shifting him inside me so he hit that soft, sensitive spot that made me gasp and throw my head back again.
“Fuck,” he said, running a hand up my stomach, between my breasts, and latching on to my throat. “You’re going to wring me dry.”
“I hope so.”
With a wicked grin, he flipped us over so he could rut into me, swiveling his hips in a teasing prod that turned me insatiable for him.