Chapter 28 Konstantin
twenty-eight
Konstantin
The second Sunniva and Lucetta walk out, I don’t even try to play calm anymore.
I turn on Cressida like a storm unleashed, pacing across the room like I’m two seconds from tearing through the goddamn walls.
My blood pounds so loud that it’s all I can hear.
That, and the echo of her voice telling me she’s been stalked for weeks.
And I didn’t know. I didn’t fucking know.
“You shouldn’t be able to lie to me.” My voice scrapes out as if its full of gravel. “Your ability . . . Cressida, you’re not supposed to be able to fucking lie to me.”
She doesn’t flinch or shrink. Just watches me with those calm, glowing eyes that see too much of me.
“I didn’t lie,” she says quietly. “I kept a secret. There’s a difference.”
My jaw aches from where I’m clenching it so tightly. “You think that difference matters to me when you’re out here dodging threats from a psychopath who knows where you fucking sleep?”
“I did it to protect you.” Her voice is firm now, but not angry. “You’re fighting a war, Konstantin. You’ve been at the edge for months. I couldn’t be the thing that tipped you over.”
That stops me, my chest tightening in a way that has nothing to do with rage. It’s something deeper, more painful.
“I’m not supposed to protect you by keeping things from you, but you’re allowed to do that to me?” I ask, quieter now, my tone a little bitter.
She walks over to me, her hands trembling slightly when she places them on my chest. “You already carry the weight of the world, monster man. I didn’t want to add more to it. Your shoulders are big, baby, but they can’t hold it all.”
I exhale roughly as if she punched me in my stomach because I get it. And that just pisses me off more because I’ve done the same thing.
Giselda’s formula is changing again. It’s corrupted further, no longer trying to mimic us but to turn into something new altogether.
She’s trying to make herself stronger, more powerful than us.
Her serum is twisting into something worse and it’s no longer about her gaining power.
I think it’s about making people fear her.
Cressida also doesn’t know I’ve woken up in a cold sweat every night for the past three weeks because I can feel the vileness of Giselda’s move coming. I just don’t know how, where, or when.
And now that I’m married to Cressida, that unknown terrifies the fuck out of me.
Her fingers tighten in my shirt, and I bring my hands up to cover hers. “We’re done keeping things from each other.”
Cressida’s eyes shine with emotions that cut me open. Relief, sadness, fear. I don’t know which kills me more.
I pull her into my arms and hold her like I can shield her from every sick, twisted fucking thing in this world. Closing my eyes, I press my mouth to her hair, breathing her in.
My anchor in this fucked-up world.
“We ramp up security, like Luce suggested,” I murmur into her curls. “You, Sunniva, even Lucetta will have people on her. Full teams. I want eyes, guns, and blades on every inch of your lives. I don’t give a fuck about optics. No one breathes near you without me knowing.”
She nods against my chest. “Okay.”
“I mean it.” I lean back to meet her gaze. “If I even think Giselda’s moving on you again, I will raze this goddamn city to ash. I’ll flood the sewers with blood. I will find her, Kisa. I will end this.”
“I believe you.”
Sunniva and Lucetta reappear, and I school my face into something colder. We go over protocol, logistics, everything I need them to know. I don’t give a single fuck if they’re annoyed, but I do give a shit that they’re breathing tomorrow.
After they leave again, the quiet settles heavier than it should.
Cressida hovers by the edge of a table, her hands twisting nervously.
I reach for her again, but she steps back. Not far, just enough to prepare me.
“There’s something else I need to tell you,” she says softly.
My pulse stutters.
She looks at me, her eyes wide and glassy. “I’m pregnant.”
Pregnant.
The world around me stops as the air is sucked from my lungs.
“You . . .” I rasp. “You’re . . .”
Staring at her, I’m trying to find the words to say, but it’s like my brain circles around that one word. My expression must be unreadable because she flinches, panic and pain blooming across her face.
“You don’t want it,” she whispers. “You don’t want the baby.”
“What? No . . . no, Lisichka . . .” I move fast, cradling her face in my hands and wiping the fear from her eyes. “I do. Fuck, of course, I do. I just . . .” I swallow the lump in my throat. “I didn’t expect it, and I’m scared.”
Her expression softens. “You?”
My laugh is hollow. “I’m fucking terrified I’m going to fuck this up.
That I’ll be a shit father. That I won’t know how to balance the monster I am with the man I need to be.
I’m scared I’ll be jealous of my own child because I’m obsessed with you,” I confess, my voice breaking.
“Because I can’t share you. Because I love you so damn much, it feels like being gutted every time you’re out of my sight.
And now, you carry something even closer to you than me, and I don’t know how to—”
Her lips crush against mine, silencing the rest of my words. She pulls back, and then, fuck, she smiles this soft aching thing that cracks my soul.
“Konstantin Kirovsky, you will not fail. Or him. You won’t be jealous.
You’ll love this baby like you love me—fiercely, obsessively, until the world bends under it.
This baby . . . it’s not going to take me away from you.
It’s a part of you. Of us. They’ll be born from our love.
” Her fingers curl around both sides of my face, holding me in place, forcing me to really listen to her.
“There is no damn universe, no version of reality, no alternate dimension where I don’t belong to you.
All of me, monster man. Even when I’m covered in spit-up and sleep deprived and breastfeeding and cursing your name .
. . I will still want you. I will always want you. ”
I kiss her slow and reverent, like she’s the answer to every war I’ve ever waged.
Because she is.
And now, so is this child.
The war outside still rages, but inside these four walls, in this moment, I find a reason to fight harder than ever before.
A future worth burning the world for.
I drop to my knees, lift her shirt, wrap my arms around her waist, and press my forehead to her stomach like I’m praying to something I’m not sure I believe in.
“I never thought I’d have this. A family.
A future. Now, I’ve got something to lose.
People to lose. That terrifies the fuck out of me.
A man who has never once feared anything is now terrified to my core. ”
“You won’t lose us,” she promises, running her hand over head. “We’re not going anywhere.”
My grip on her hips turns desperate as I lean my head back to look up at her. “I’ll kill anyone who tries to touch.”
“And I believe you,” she croons, running her fingers down my face.
“You and our child are not my entire goddamn world. I’ll set this city on fire before I let her take either of you from me.”
She shivers in my hold, and I scowl. “Don’t fear me.”
“Oh, baby. That wasn’t from fear. It’s from the bone-deep truth of being loved by a monster who’s made peace with the darkness so he can use it to protect the light. You’re going to be such an incredible father.”
“You think so?”
“I know so.”