Chapter 46
On his fourth night at the hotel, Ji-Su stood at the window, looking out over the city. Scattered droplets of rain slid down the glass. Out in the distance, storm clouds were building, silent flashes of lightning in their center illuminating them against the night sky.
Raul had given him his space, allowing him to think on his own.
He didn’t call or try to see him, but whenever a new guard arrived for their shift, they carried a message from Raul asking if he was okay and if he needed anything.
They also reminded him that he could call Raul at any time.
He hadn’t wanted to make that call. Until now.
He’d gone ‘round and ‘round in his head trying to decide what to do. Finally, he realized he couldn’t make his decision without talking to Raul. He pulled out his phone and sat on the edge of the bed to make the call. Raul answered so quickly he must have had his phone in his hand.
“Ji-Su. Is everything alright?”
“Yes. I wanted to talk if that’s okay.”
“Of course it is.”
He’d called to talk, but the words weren’t there yet.
A few moments passed with him not speaking and Raul not saying anything either.
The storm arrived while he sat there silent, rain pelting the glass and thunder shaking the walls.
Ji-Su squeezed the phone, determined to keep hold of his fear of storms so he could have this conversation.
“I guess I should say something.”
“You don’t have to. We can sit here in silence as long as you need to.”
Ji-Su did exactly that while he gathered his thoughts. The reminder that Raul had never once pressured him to do anything helped soothe some of his turmoil. After taking a deep breath, he was ready.
“I was shocked that night,” he softly began the conversation.
“Maybe if I had known what you planned to do to Cedric ahead of time it wouldn’t have hit me so hard.
But to see you covered in blood and hear you coldly say you killed him...
” Ji-Su trailed off, remembering his horror seeing the evidence that Raul had committed murder.
“The abrupt switch from your usual personality to murderer was too much to handle.”
“I can understand that. That must have been terrifying for you.”
“It was.” Ji-Su nodded even though Raul couldn’t see him. “But honestly, the fear faded pretty quickly. After that I was mad because I felt like I’d been tricked.”
A rough sigh came over the line.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have downplayed what I do. I didn’t want you to see the ugly side of my business because I wanted to protect you.”
“Was that the only reason you kept it from me?” Ji-Su’s shoulders tightened as he waited for Raul’s answer, hoping he would be fully honest with him.
“No, that wasn’t the only reason. You’re sweet, and innocent of the life I live. Selfishly, I didn’t want to scare you away by telling you the complete truth.”
“Like you thought I would leave if you told me you wanted to have rough sex.”
“Yes.”
The tension in Ji-Su’s shoulders eased. He thought that Raul was finished but he continued on.
“I want you in my life more than I’ve ever wanted anything else,” he said, his voice rough with emotion.
“But I know I’m the wrong person for you.
You’re sweet and good. And I’m a bad man.
I hurt people. Kill them when I feel it’s necessary.
And because I’m a bad man, I was willing to lie to you in order to keep you with me.
I’m sorry that my lie ended up hurting you.
I should have told you the truth as soon as we became intimate. ”
Ji-Su was glad to have Raul apologize and acknowledge what he’d done wrong. But his guilt over Cedric’s death was still embedded deep in his chest. Like a shard of glass he couldn’t pull out. “I wish that Cedric didn’t die because of me,” he said aloud.
“Hey, don’t say that,” Raul gently chided.
“It wasn’t your fault. Cedric is dead due to his actions.
I gave him multiple warnings to leave you alone.
He didn’t heed them. Cedric was determined to hurt you.
And when he couldn’t get to you physically, he decided to hurt and humiliate you in the nastiest way possible.
I’m glad I took that fucker out. And I’d do it again if I had to. ”
At Raul’s fierce declaration, Ji-Su slid from the edge of the bed onto the floor.
Why did Raul saying he was glad he’d killed Cedric make him feel warm and protected?
He should be repulsed at the violence. But...
he wasn’t. What was it that Solan had said?
He wanted someone on his side who would do what was necessary to keep him safe.
After days of thinking about it, Ji-Su realized he wanted that too.
While he wouldn’t celebrate another man’s death, he was glad that Raul had protected him. Avenged him. Kept him safe.
Raul’s voice was gentle when he spoke next.
“I want to ask you something.”
“Go ahead.”
“Remember when you first came to the ranch and I told you to trust your instincts?”
“Yes.”
“Your instincts helped you act to get away from Cedric when you needed to. Are they telling you to stay away from me?”
Ji-Su closed his eyes and thought. His initial reaction to learning that Raul had killed Cedric had been to run away.
But he didn’t feel that way anymore. He wanted to go back to Raul.
He’d trusted Raul from the moment he’d rescued him from the side of the highway.
And now, he realized that he still trusted him.
As soon as that realization settled in his heart, the storm of confusion within him began to clear. Outside however, the thunderstorm grew stronger. Lightning cracked, the sharp noise and bright white light making him gasp and nearly drop his phone.
“Are you okay?” Raul asked in concern.
“Yeah. It’s the storm.” He cleared his throat then sheepishly asked a question. “Maybe you could come here for a little while?”
When Raul didn’t answer for several seconds, Ji-Su assumed he was looking for a polite way to say no. “Never mind. I’m sure you don’t want to drive all the way out here in the middle of the storm.”
Raul softly chuckled.
“Open your door.”
Ji-Su snapped his head around toward the hotel room entryway.
His heart racing, he pushed himself to his feet and ran across the lounge to the door.
He was still holding the phone when he unlocked and pulled it open.
Raul stood in the hallway. He held a dripping umbrella down at his side and his phone was up to his ear.
“You’re here.” Ji-Su was so surprised to see Raul that he couldn’t help but state the obvious.
“I was on my way to you as soon as it started thundering,” Raul said with a small smile on his handsome face. “Can I come in?”
Ji-Su didn’t answer. Instead, he took a step into the hallway and sagged against Raul’s chest. “You’re here,” he repeated. Raul wrapped the arm not holding the umbrella around him.
“Of course I am, sweetheart. I wouldn’t leave you alone when I know you’re afraid of storms. Let’s go inside, okay?”
Ji-Su nodded, but he didn’t move away from the strong warmth of Raul’s chest. So, Raul picked him up with one arm and carried him back into the hotel room. He kicked the door closed and set the umbrella down.
“I missed you,” Ji-Su mumbled with his face pressed to Raul’s shirt.
Raul kissed the top of his head.
“I missed you too.”
Raul hoisted him up higher to walk over to one of the armchairs. Sitting down with Ji-Su in his lap, he cupped Ji-Su’s face and met his gaze.
“Missed you so much,” he said his eyes glowing amber with emotion.
He lowered his head and brought their lips together in the sweetest kiss.
Ji-Su let his eyes drift closed. The kiss was warm and wonderful and Raul held him so tenderly, that Ji-Su knew he hadn’t been tricked.
Raul might be cold or even brutal with others, but for Ji-Su, he would always be the gentle, loving man he’d fallen for.
When Raul pulled away, Ji-Su opened his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” Raul apologized. “We should finish our talk first.”
But Ji-Su shook his head. “I want you to kiss me.” He reached up and pulled Raul down into another kiss.
This one had a little more heat than the first. Ji-Su shyly teased at Raul’s lips with his tongue until he parted them with a soft groan.
Raul licked into his mouth once but then immediately ended the kiss.
“Don’t tease me like that, sweet thing,” he said with a hint of roughness to his voice.
Ji-Su smiled. He’d gotten what he wanted. “Okay.”
Their greeting complete, they returned to their conversation.
“I’ve already apologized for keeping things from you,” Raul said. “But there’s something else I need to tell you.”
“What is it?”
Raul took Ji-Su’s hand and pressed it to his heart.
“I love you. Each day apart from you has felt like something was squeezing my chest, preventing me from taking in a full breath. Now that I have you back in my arms, I can breathe again.”
Raul’s first love confession had come at the wrong time. Ji-Su hadn’t wanted to hear it then. But now, he welcomed it and returned it. “I love you too. And I don’t ever want to be a part from you again.”
Raul smiled, his eyes glowing even brighter.
“Our contract is up in a few months. But it doesn’t matter. I want you. And not just as my blood pet or for sex. I want you by my side, always. I want to share my blood with you and tie us together as blood bonded mates.”
Ji-Su stared up at Raul, the happiness within him spreading from his heart all the way to his toes. “I want that too. But first, I have one condition.”
“Name it. I’ll do anything you want.”
“Solan explained to me what it’s like to be a part of your world.
He said that while violence is the norm, he doesn’t get involved with it.
I can accept that. Your business is your business and I don’t need to know what’s going on.
However, if a situation like the one with Cedric comes up again, I want you to promise me that you won’t do anything without speaking with me first. If it’s done in my name, I should have a say in it. ”
“I promise,” Raul said earnestly.
“Thank you.”
“Anything for you.” He adjusted Ji-Su in his lap to relax comfortably in the chair and wrapped his arms around him. “We’ll stay here until the storm clears. Then I’m taking you back home.”
Happy that this was settled, Ji-Su sighed with relief and laid his head on Raul’s chest. Back on the ranch with Raul was exactly where he wanted to be.