Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
Moon was smiling as he opened his apartment door. It was the first, and hopefully not the last time he’d greet me like that. “I got the job!”
I made my way inside and wrapped him up in a big hug. “Oh, I’m so glad! I know you’ve been struggling for a really long time to find one.”
He pulled away, still wearing that big, imperfect grin. Seeing it made something flutter in my gut. That’d been happening a lot lately—the flutters deep below my diaphragm, damn near in my lower intestines. I’d only felt it once before, way back when Olivia and I had first met.
It was honestly extremely confusing to feel again. Especially for Moon, someone I saw as a friend. At least, I thought I did, anyway.
Moon flipped the light off near the front door and ushered us out of it, locking it behind him.
We were headed out to my house today to do some packing, but I lived too far for him to reasonably ride his bike.
It would’ve taken him at least an hour to get to me, so I offered to pick him up instead.
Olivia and Kelly would be coming by later in the week.
I glanced at him. “So, this job is the one at the dentist’s office, right?”
“Mhm, my previous experience in receptionist and admin work seemed to really help there. The starting pay is pretty good, too. Better than my last job, honestly.”
“I’m glad. I know how much you’ve been stressing about this. I guess you’ll be able to save up for the stained glass stuff pretty quickly, huh?”
“Oh, yeah. I have a good bit of savings left still, so I should be able to get at least some of it after my first paycheck.”
Between the pottery and stained glass we’d tried out, Moon seemed to genuinely enjoy the stained glass a lot more.
I didn’t connect with either of them very much, but it was fun to do.
They were the kind of activities that were fun with or without another person.
With how the workshops seemed to always be set up, though, you had to work in a group of two or more.
I’d tried to go to a few of them, desperate to explore something new and exciting the old-fashioned way by getting my hands dirty with some one-on-one learning, but the idea of needing someone else or teaming up with someone I barely knew always put me off.
I didn’t have another person in my life I could just go and try out pottery with.
Sure, I had Olivia. She was different, though.
I wanted a friend, I guess. A real friend and the last real friend with no romantic attachment I’d had was Harrison.
That only made it harder to conceptualize the idea of doing something as selfish as having fun when I knew of three specific people who’d never have fun again.
They’d be trapped for eternity, forever out of my reach.
So, yeah, I’d really liked the workshops, even if I didn’t find a new hobby because of them. But I was glad Moon had.
“What do you think you’ll make first?”
Moon shrugged. “I don’t know. I found some design templates online for beginners. I may do a sun or something and give it to Elio.”
“Why specifically a sun?”
“His name means the word sun, and he’s a ray of sunshine. Crescent actually calls him Sunshine, and it’s kind of gross but kind of endearing.”
I could definitely see that from them. “That’s actually really fucking sweet. So, if Elio is Sunshine, what is Crescent to Elio?”
He made a fake gagging sound, his arms shaking as he forced a dramatic shiver. “Honey, sweetheart, baby—all of those cutesy, yucky words.”
“Cutesy and yucky?”
“Okay, maybe not yucky. I feel like I’m allergic to all forms of romance, honestly.”
I hummed, turning the wheel as I pulled into my driveway. “What do you like to be called, then?”
The back of his head was facing me as he looked out of the window, seemingly not paying much attention as he rattled a few things off. “Brat, slut, whore, naughty, kitten… Whatever, really. Just not baby. Or sweetheart. Those are too sweet for me.”
I’d already parked, but I couldn’t make the move to unbuckle or take the key out of the ignition, staring at the back of his head as my brain seemed to short-circuit. My cheeks started to heat up, no doubt a blush forming there as it traveled down. “You like when I call you a brat?”
He turned quickly, his mouth wide open, and a much deeper blush than mine forming on his face.
“I, um. Oh, why the fuck did I say that?” He put his head in his hands, groaning loudly.
“It just came out. You gotta believe me. I don’t know why the fuck I said all that. Just ignore me. Can we get out now?”
“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, Moon. I’m the one who asked you. I mean, it’s not like I don’t like some of those too.”
“You like to be called a brat, slut, and whore?”
I frowned at him. “No. I don’t really get anything out of being on the receiving end. Dirty degradation talk to someone else? That, I definitely do.”
“Oh.” His voice sounded smaller, almost a whisper.
I nodded, pretending like this wasn’t just potentially the most awkward conversation we’d had over our entire friendship. I cleared my throat and put my hand on the key but never got to turn it as Moon interrupted me.
“What do you like to be called?”
The question threw me off. I wasn’t sure he really wanted to know, or if he was just trying to save himself from humility. “Uh, you know. Whatever. Baby, honey, the normal stuff…” I trailed off.
“So you were joking the other day?”
“About what?”
“About usually being called Daddy. Do you not like being called that?”
I looked away, trying to clear the nervousness out of my throat.
The flutters I’d felt earlier were now more like raging tingles of some kind, tearing their way through my stomach.
My tongue was suddenly dry, and if I kept looking at Moon with his sharp jawline, gorgeously proportioned lips with the barest hint of a shine on them, and those deep, cavernous brown eyes, I’d probably lose it.
“I honestly wouldn’t know. No one has ever called me that before. ”
“No girl has ever called you Daddy while you fucked her?”
I shook my head, holding onto my self-control for dear life. It was so fucking hot in this car all of a sudden, beads of sweat prickling across my forehead. “No, I can’t say anyone has.”
He put his hand on the door handle, pulling it out a bit. “You should try it next time you’re with a girl.”
Or guy, I wanted to say. At this point, there was no way what I was feeling wasn’t some sort of attraction.
Moon had held my attention from the very first moment I saw him, though it wasn’t originally based on looks.
My gaze had been stuck on him since we started talking to each other in Muffin Haven, and everywhere I’d looked since reminded me of him.
Moon Miller had officially gotten under my skin.
He’d found my veins and curled his way in, pumping his way through my bloodstream in a way I didn’t know was possible.
I could feel him in my heart, I could feel him in my mind, and I could feel him slowly finding his way into my soul.
I’d never stood a chance with him. Never.
We walked up to my house, my keys shaking in my hands as I tried to unlock the door.
Fear hovered over my head like a bad omen, a dark cloud shrouding me, full of shame.
I still hadn’t unpacked anything new, letting myself procrastinate the memories I logically knew would never truly go away.
That was the thing with shame, though. It was rarely logical, clinging onto something so unnecessary, you start to think it is necessary, and it feels like you’re going borderline insane.
The ringing in my ears was nonstop today, only getting louder the closer the dark cloud came to me.
The house was sad to look at. To the right was my living room, where the TV sat on the floor, not even plugged in.
To the left was the kitchen, with most of the dishware stacked on top of the island.
I didn’t look at Moon’s face, too afraid to see his reaction.
This would be a true test of our friendship and just how deep it’d be able to go.
“Have you unpacked the boxes in your bedroom yet?”
“Uh, no. It’s the most finished, but it isn’t fully set up.”
He twirled around in a circle, looking at everything around us. “This is a really nice house, Em. Let’s start with the bedroom first.”
I frowned. “I thought for sure you’d say the kitchen and living room first.”
“Nah, those are aesthetics, really. Your bedroom is your sanctuary. It’s where you go to wind down, get comfortable, and sleep. You’ll spend more time in there, anyway. You deserve a comfortable, inviting space.”
Oh. It was that simple for him. I’d been so obsessed with how things looked, I hadn’t thought about my comfort at all. It hadn’t crossed my mind because I hadn’t thought it was the priority.
I led him to my bedroom, where another TV sat on the floor, waiting to be put together and used.
I had a lot of stuff set up, but there were more boxes than there were unpacked items. Moon immediately sat on the floor and grabbed one of the boxes.
“Are there any boxes you don’t want me to go through?
Like, with personal items you don’t want me to see? ”
Everything intimately personal was already in a drawer, hidden away from view. “No, I don’t think so.”
We each took our own boxes and grabbed some box cutters I had lying around for the tape. A lot of the stuff was books I’d yet to put on my bookshelf, or clothes I hadn’t dug out yet because I hadn’t needed them. Honestly, I could’ve thrown a lot of them away.
“What’s all this?” Moon was looking down into a box, his brows knitted together in confusion.