Chapter 27
Twenty-Seven
NATASHA
His eyes are what destroyed me. The hate in them, the way he stared at me as if I disgust him. I was still so upset after meeting with my father, and then Julian was there, so cold and hard, the way he used to be when I first met him. The man standing before me wasn’t my husband.
He was the ruthless made man that my father warned me about, and with Papa’s words still ringing through my mind, I stood there and watched everything he told me come true.
My Julian discarded me, and the whole time, I did what I’d been raised to do.
Stay small.
Stay quiet.
Do as you’re told.
He called me a traitor, but that can’t be right. I told my father no.
“I told him no,” I murmur, holding onto my aching wrist. It’s starting to hurt worse, with its own pounding heartbeat, and I cradle it to my chest.
“Shut up,” Benji barks, glaring at me in the rearview mirror.
My hand comes up to touch my necklace, and then I remember that it’s gone. I dropped it when I fell at the house, and I have no idea where it skidded off to. There was no time to look for it.
When the vehicle stops, I look up to find that we’re at the gates of my father’s estate.
You’d better hope and pray that the piece of shit you’re married to never tosses your ass out because you won’t be welcome at my house. I’ll kill you before I’ll let you through the door.
I can’t go in there. I can’t be here.
“Please don’t leave me here.”
“Boss’s orders,” Gary says with a shrug, and the two of them climb out of the car, open my door, and roughly yank me out, then do the same with the trash bags. They toss them next to me and leave me at the gate as they drive away, kicking up dirt in their wake.
I don’t hold the tears back as I look around helplessly. What am I supposed to do? I can’t go to my father’s house. Julian has done the one thing he swore he’d never do. He cast me out.
I’m sure that means that I’m not allowed to contact Lulu or Scarlett, either, since they’re his family.
I don’t have anyone.
Pulling my phone out of my purse—thank fuck I still had it looped over my shoulder—I order an Uber. It takes me a long time to figure it out because I can only use one hand and I have to get my payment information set up.
Shit, payment information.
I don’t have any money.
My heart is hammering as I punch in the numbers on the credit card that Julian gave me. I don’t have a choice but to use it to pay for this ride.
I have to get out of here before one of my father’s men alerts him to my being here and he makes good on his promise.
“Can you please wait with my things?” I ask the rideshare driver as he pulls into the parking lot of the pawn shop. “I don’t have a way to carry the bags, and my wrist is injured.”
The guy sighs and looks back at me, as if he’s bored. “I can’t. I have to go pick up another ride. I can’t afford to sit here and wait for you all day.”
“I’ll add a hundred dollar tip,” I offer, but he shakes his head no. “Will you help me—”
“Get the fuck out of my car,” he growls, making me flinch. I manage to drag the bags out of the vehicle one at a time, and then do the same, pulling them into the pawn shop where I can watch them.
“I can tell you that I don’t want anything you’ve got in those bags,” the woman behind the counter says.
“I’m not selling them, I just don’t have anywhere else to put them right now.” I stride to her and gingerly pull the engagement ring off the finger of my injured hand, the movement making it hurt even worse. “I’d like to sell this.”
Her eyes widen as she stares at the diamond. “Lover’s spat?”
“Something like that. Can you tell me what you’ll give me for it?”
“Hmm.” She takes it from me and examines it, weighs it. I know it’s worth well into the six figures, maybe even seven, but I’m hoping to get at least fifty thousand for it. I’d be able to get a place to stay, and it would give me time to figure out what I’m going to do.
How did my life go so wrong so fast?
“I’ll give you two grand for it.”
I blink at her, sure I’ve heard her wrong. “You have to be kidding.”
“That’s all I can do.”
“But it’s worth—”
“Doesn’t matter what it’s worth. Only matters what I’m willing to pay for it. And I’m willing to pay two grand.”
“Twenty-five hundred. Please.”
She sighs, and then nods. “Fine. Twenty-five hundred.”
She opens her till and counts out the cash and passes it to me, then walks away.
I don’t sign anything. That can’t be right.
“Wait. What if I want it back?”
“You didn’t pawn it, sweetie. You sold it. I’ll sell it back to you for ten grand.”
Oh my God.
I shake my head and put the money in my bag, then return to the garbage sacks. I can’t carry these. Maybe the next driver will help me.
Finally, I manage to drag them outside and look up some hotels. There are a few rooms available for fifty dollars a night.
I don’t even want to know what kind of hotel room is fifty dollars a night.
But I don’t really have a choice either. I don’t have enough money to stay in a nicer place for any amount of time. I’ll go broke too fast.
So, I reserve the room and then order a car. I’ll have to put one more charge on Julian’s card, and then I’ll cut it up.
Three hours later, I’m sitting in the middle of a saggy queen-size bed in the seediest place I’ve ever seen, finally letting emotion wash over me.
I checked into this motel—thankfully this rideshare driver was nicer and helped with my bags—and then walked across the street to a pharmacy, where I bought a brace for my wrist, along with some basic toiletries and snacks. Bottles of water. Pain medication.
I took some medicine and then got in the shower. The water only trickles out, and it smells dubious. Like mildew and metal and I don’t even know. I’m not even convinced that this place is all that clean.
The dust bunnies are something to behold.
But I have the door barricaded, and now I can finally stop moving.
All the anguish and fear and pain washes over me in waves. It feels like I’m standing in the ocean and a riptide of emotion is pulling me under, threatening to drown me.
I don’t care about the money or the mansion or the fancy things.
I want my husband. The man who looks at me with so much affection and humor and lust. The man who fucks me like I’m everything he’s ever needed in his life. I want my best friend, my partner.
My love. God, I love him so much, even though he kicked me out so heartlessly. How could the universe be so cruel, to finally allow me to experience so much kindness and happiness, only to have it ripped away?
I roll onto my side and bury my face in my hands, crying so hard I can barely breathe.
“He should have just killed me.”