Chapter 33
Thirty-Three
NATASHA
I’ve been staring at the book in my hands for an hour but haven’t actually read a word of it.
It’s nice out today. Winter in Vegas means that it’s not too hot, and I can be outside without having a heatstroke within ten minutes, so I’m sitting by the pool, under the shade of an umbrella, breathing in the fresh air and the scent of the flowers nearby.
How Julian’s gardener keeps this all in bloom and looking spectacular in the middle of a freaking desert, I have no idea.
But I love it.
It’s been a week since Julian found me. It’s both a relief to be home and terrible because I don’t trust him.
I can’t.
He promised me so much before. Treated me like I mattered to him, like he cared about me, and then he discarded me like I was trash. Like it was the easiest thing in the world to cast me aside.
Just like my father would have.
And I just can’t let go of how he looked at me that day, as he watched me fall and hurt myself and then kicked me out.
I’m not stupid. I’m not going to insist that he take me back to that horrible motel. Julian has made it clear every single day that I’m staying and that he’ll never let that happen again.
However, just like my father warned me, the men in this world are manipulators. Liars. I don’t know what Julian’s game is right now, but I don’t trust that he magically wants me with him again. I don’t even know what happened to have him kick me out in the first place.
My husband is always home. To my knowledge, he hasn’t left the mansion once since he brought me here days ago, and he’s never far away. He must be babysitting me. Keeping watch, in case I do something to betray him again.
I glance through the glass doors into the house and see Julian pacing the kitchen, his phone to his ear.
I wonder what happened to my phone.
Until this moment, I haven’t even thought about my cell. It had been dead for so long that I was out of the habit of reaching for it, and today’s the first day that I’m starting to feel well enough to spend most of my time out of bed.
I really don’t want to lie around anymore.
That must mean that I’m getting better.
With my eyes still on my husband, I settle back against the lounge chair. He’s so handsome. He’s in his standard black slacks and button-down, sleeves rolled up, top two buttons undone. I’m quite sure all his clothes are custom because they mold around his perfect body like a second skin.
He’s been so tender with me over the past week. I know he was worried, and I can sense that he means it when he says he’s sorry and that he’ll never hurt me again.
I want to believe him.
At least, I think he believes what he says. But a month ago, I would have sworn on my life that Julian Stavros would never put me in danger, would never cast me aside.
But he did.
I know I’m safe here, for now. And I’ll go back to being the dutiful wife, doing what I was raised to do.
But I need to guard my heart. Because I don’t think I could survive another heartbreak like the one I just went through.
Julian slides the glass door open and steps out to join me, smiling down at me.
“I’m so glad you’re feeling better.”
“Me too. I don’t want to be in bed anymore.”
“That’s a good sign.” He sits on the chair next to mine, facing me. “Angel, what was the store called where you sold your ring?”
I frown over at him.
“I’m going to get it back for you.”
I glance down and run my fingertip over the skin where my diamond usually sits.
I miss it.
Even if this marriage is in name only, it’s mine.
“I’d need my phone to remember the exact name of the business,” I reply softly. “I know that it’s not too far away from where I was staying.”
Julian pulls my phone out of his pocket and passes it to me. “It’s charged. I didn’t turn it on because I didn’t want to invade your privacy.”
I lift an eyebrow, and he blows out a breath.
“You’re going to learn to trust me again.”
I don’t reply as I press the button on the side of the device and wait for it to come to life.
To my surprise, hundreds of texts come in, all from Lulu and Scarlett, and it makes tears come to my eyes.
“What’s wrong?” Julian asks, jumping to his feet and standing over me.
“They cared.”
I look up at him and see that he’s staring down at my phone.
“Angel. Of course, they care. They’re your friends.”
“No.” I shake my head sadly. “They’re your friends. Your family. I was just borrowing them.”
He doesn’t say anything as I maneuver to my search history and then show him the name of the pawn shop where I sold my ring.
“This is it.”
“Would you please text me that location?”
“Sure.” Quickly, I tap the screen and send it to him. “Do you want me to have dinner ready for you when you get home?”
“No.” He sits next to my hip on the lounger and reaches out to brush his fingertips down my cheek.
I flinch.
His eyes narrow, and his jaw tightens.
“I will never hurt you.”
Pressing my lips together, I nod. “Okay.”
“I don’t want you to have dinner ready for me today or any other day. We’ve been through this before. Chef will be here at five to get dinner started for us.”
I nod and look away from him, staring at the blue water in the pool. If my hand wasn’t in a cast, I would go for a swim.
“Would you please take the piano away?”
He’s quiet for a moment and then takes my chin in his fingers and makes me look him in the eyes.
“Why would I do that?”
“Because it hurts to look at it.” A tear falls down my cheek, and I hate myself for showing vulnerability in front of him. I want to be strong. I don’t want him to pity me. “I don’t think I’ll be able—”
“Don’t finish that sentence.” He leans in and presses his lips to mine, so unbearably softly that it makes more tears fall.
It hurt when I didn’t have him, and it’s just as horrible being this close to him and holding myself back.
“You’ll play again when your hands have healed, baby. But if you want me to have it moved until you’re ready, I can.”
“We had good times at that piano.” It’s whispered. I didn’t mean to voice it out loud.
“And we will again.”
I shake my head slowly and pull my chin away from his fingers.
“I know you’re angry,” he says. There’s no malice in his voice.
He sounds perfectly calm, but when I glance over, I see torment in his gorgeous dark eyes.
“You should be. All I can do is prove to you, every day, how much you mean to me and that I’ll never let you get hurt like that again.
I will prove it to you, Natasha. Just promise you won’t leave me. ”
“I don’t have anywhere to go.” My lower lip trembles, and I try to firm it. “I learned that the hard way.”
“Fuck, baby. I need to hold you. Tell me I can hold you.”
That’s the other thing: Since I’ve been back here, he only wraps his strong arms around me when I give consent.
I brush away my tears with the back of my cut hand and then give him a nod, and he gently wraps his arms around my shoulders, tugging me against him.
He’s so warm. So fucking strong.
And he smells so damn good.
“You break my heart every fucking day,” he whispers into my hair.
“Same,” I whisper back.
Suddenly, the glass door opens again, and when I look over, I see Lulu and Scarlett rushing over to us.
“Oh my God,” Lulu says, wiping tears from her cheeks. “He can’t keep me away from you for another minute. Oh, honey, we missed the fuck out of you.”
“You go,” Scarlett says, pointing to Julian. “Go do Mafia shit. This is girl time.”
Julian glances at me and lifts his eyebrow.
“Go do Mafia shit,” I repeat with a soft smile. “These two can take over the babysitting duties.”
“I haven’t been—”
“Girl time,” Scarlett says again, leaving no room for argument.
Julian sighs and presses his lips to my forehead, then brushes his lips by my ear, and little tingles explode over my skin.
I’m still attracted as fuck to my husband.
“I won’t be gone long. Call me if you need me.”
And then he walks away, leaving me with Lulu and Scarlett.