Chapter 23
LUCERO
Doing the right thing was never a question I had to ask myself.
I did what I felt was the correct move. At the moment, I wasn't so sure if that was the case.
Going behind my husband's back and going against his wishes should be a no-brainer.
It was a very bad thing, except I was doing it for him.
Onyx wasn't opening up. I gave him his space and even tried to reassure him that I was there for him.
Still, my stubborn, beautiful husband refused to tell me what was wrong.
All I knew was that something on the tablet a few nights back had pissed him off.
It was the start of the snowball effect.
It had only gotten worse. He pretended to be okay, but he failed to realize I knew him best, and there is no way in hell my precious bella was okay.
He stopped eating dessert after meals. His teas go forgotten until they are gross and cold.
Sleep only occurs when I’m forced to physically hold him against me, and even then, I have to stay half awake to make sure he doesn't sneak away.
There was something very wrong, and I was done sitting on the side, watching my husband destroy himself.
“Are you sure about this?” Nash's rough voice cut through my thoughts. We’d been on the phone for well over two hours. Even after I got what I needed, I kept my brother on the phone with me. I was no closer to the right choice than I had prior to coming up with the plan.
I blinked a few times as guilt ate at me, turning my insides into an acid-filled pit.
“You didn’t see him. I—fuck… I was at a loss, he seemed so—” I licked my lips, pressing my fingers into my temple as I sat in my car.
“Broken.” Even uttering the words felt like a betrayal to my husband.
“He’s smiling and pretending, but I can see how hurt he is. ”
Onyx would be so mad to hear me say that, but there was no other way to describe what I'd seen.
A heavy sigh filled my car, emitting from the speakers. "You okay?"
"I'm fine, it's him that isn't. I have no clue what to do here." That wasn't true, I was taking the necessary steps to ensure Onyx had a good, happy life. Even if it meant betraying his trust.
Nash grunted in response. "I'm not judging. If anything, you should have gone to check this out the first time you heard about it. He might have a whole family hidden away. A wife, three point five kids and one of those little shit dogs."
My back stiffened at the thought of someone else having Onyx the way I did. He’d married before, but those were all jobs. What we had was different. It was more. "Onyx isn't like that." My voice grated against my vocal cords. My fingers dug into my flesh at the mere mention of such a thing.
"You're delusional when it comes to that man," my brother shot back.
"Nash." His name was nothing more than a growl. I didn't distrust Onyx even in the slightest. I knew there was no one else when it came to us. However, I wasn't sure who lived in the apartment that Nash had discovered.
"Stop being an ass," Elia said. "Lucero, don't listen to him. He's mad cause the last chick in his bed was a fucking flop."
"Fuck you both. I haven't had time for any ass lately," Nash grumbled. "I'm dying here."
Elia’s sigh filled the car as he took over the call. “Okay, but I don’t know, did you talk to Mom about this? I feel like she’s better at these talks.”
I’d tried, but she and Pops went on a vacation and I wasn’t trying to be the one kid who ruined their time away.
Not to mention, I was a married man now; it was time I solved my own problems. I’d called her the last time Onyx had seemed off.
What kind of husband would I be if I always ran to my mom every time my husband seemed to be a little distant and sad?
Going behind his back is better?
My thoughts were an endless loop of should I and could I , and it was going to give me an ulcer. I was already here and sitting in my car. Being on the phone with my brothers was the only thing keeping me from potentially ruining my marriage. Or saving it.
“I’ll call her when they get back into town.”
“Lucero—”
“I've made up my mind. I'm doing this."
There was a long pause before either one of my brothers spoke again.
"We have your back no matter what, but remember, you're peeking into someone's deep secrets," Elia reminded me. "If he wasn't ready to share this with you, Lucero, you're kind of saying fuck you to your husband."
"No, I…" I slammed my mouth shut, my teeth clicking together as I thought about what he said.
"I say go for it. It's better to ask for forgiveness than permission." There was a loud crash that resounded over the speakers. "Fuck, Elia, that wasn't necessary."
"That's shit advice and you know it." Elia, although was much leaner and smaller than most of us, was one of the best fighters amongst us. "Lucero, you do this, and no matter what, Onyx is going to be pissed off. Is it worth it?"
My head hurt, throbbing in time to the ache in my chest. I rubbed at my pec, trying to make the feeling go away that had wrapped around my heart.
"We have work,” Nash said. He cleared his throat. “Look, I already gave you the info. Either do it and handle the fallout, or go back home and do nothing.”
"Yeah, you're our big brother, no matter what. It's going to be a bitch if you come back brokenhearted, so do what you can. I kind of like Onyx. He has a great sense of style. It would be shitty if I never got to raid his closet,” Elia cut in.
“Okay.” Their words felt like nails on a chalkboard as my own thoughts waged war in my head.
The turmoil inside only seemed to intensify.
I hung up with my brothers and stared out the window.
The building was right there, and yet I could still walk away.
Whenever I felt lost or confused, or anything really, there was always one person I wanted to talk to.
My phone was in my hand, Onyx’s messages were pulled up, and I sent a single word.
Lucero: Bella
I didn’t wait long, not even a full minute had passed when my phone buzzed in my hand. The corners of my mouth pulled up into a smile.
Onyx: What?
Onyx: While you're out today, can you pick up some peach tea?
I did a double-take. My husband had texted me twice in a row. He was starting to depend on me more and more, just not enough. I didn't think I could put it off any longer.
Lucero: Of course
Onyx: Thnx. Will be late tonight, have work.
Lucero: I'll set your dinner to the side.
Lucero: You know I love you very much, right?
Lucero: You're my entire world
I stared at the screen, my breath caught in the back of my throat as I waited for him to respond. When nothing came after three minutes, I called him.
"Yes, Lucero."
Hearing Onyx's voice filled me with a calm like nothing ever had in this world. My stomach unknotted and my shoulders dropped. I hadn't noticed I was so tense until then.
"I miss you."
"You saw me this morning." There was lightness in Onyx's voice as if he was trying not to laugh at me. "In fact, you were slobbering over my cock this morning and put me behind schedule."
Remembering the way his eyes had glazed over as he slammed his length down my throat had me hard in seconds.
"I can come to you for a midday blow job."
"As appealing as that sounds, I can't. I have to work with a client."
Does this client have to do with why you've been so different?
The question never left my head. My tongue lay heavy in my mouth as unease settled in the pit of my stomach.
My husband was a professional, and damn good at his job.
I didn't doubt him at all, but Onyx hadn't exactly been himself lately.
It was like he was slightly off. "I can come help. "
"No, we've been over this, Lucero. I work alone. I'm damn good at what I do. You've seen it."
"I know, bella, you're the best and so sexy when you take out trash. But?—"
"You find me that irresistible?"
My head jerked up and down before I remembered we were on the phone. "Yes."
Onyx's laughter was airy and way too short for my liking. "I don't know. That didn't sound convincing."
"What should I say to make you believe me?"
"If I have to think for you, Lucero, then it wouldn't be fair, would it? And here I thought you were my good boy. My perfect husband."
"I am!" My heart raced even as I looked at where I was. I closed my eyes. Other than right now, I was always good for Onyx. Right now didn't count.
"How do you plan on being good fo—shit!"
I was left waiting for him to finish, to have me at his beck and call. If he said come to him right now, I'd break every traffic law to get to him.
"Lucero, I have to go, this is Cara on the other line."
I was nowhere near ready to stop hearing his voice, but then again, I never was.
"Okay, have a good day and be safe."
"You too, and if you get hurt, tell your brothers I will roast their fucking nuts over a fire if they send you home all cut up again."
He cares about me. My chest filled with warmth that felt as if it spread all the way to my fingertips. "Okay, I will." I licked my lips as pressure built in the middle of my chest. "You know you're the most important person in my life."
Onyx was quiet for a second. "Maybe."
No, it was a certainty, but instead of arguing with him, I vowed to continue to show him.
"I love you, bella."
"See you tonight, Luci." He hung up before I could grumble about him using my mother's nickname for me.
The silence echoed around me, bearing down on my shoulders as I went very still. My heart pounded against my ribcage as a single thought came to mind.
I have to help him.