Chapter 30
ONYX
Two weeks. It had been two weeks, and I was still spiraling.
Lying on my couch, I stared up at the ceiling.
I swore I could still smell Lucero. That cologne he wore, the one that smelled like the ocean and sunshine but deeper.
Richer. It clung to the cushions, to my bed, to the very essence of my penthouse.
I hated him. And yet here I was, a bottle of wine in my hand as I tried to peel myself off the couch once more and go back to my bed, but I couldn’t.
I hadn’t slept in it since he had left. Couldn’t imagine my bed not being taken up by a goddamn behemoth of an idiot that snored, and farted, and talked in his fucking sleep like a deranged asshole.
My chest ached. I rubbed it. I was starving.
I’d barely eaten since he’d been gone. Nothing tasted as good as what Lucero made.
Even now, I could imagine his smile as he explained what he was doing and why.
How the sauce was simmered, or how he rolled out the pasta dough, or the way he was adjusting his food because I needed it.
“Fuck.” I sighed as I sucked in a sharp breath. “Fucking controlling asshole.”
I had fallen for it. Life was easier when Lucero was always there, happy to serve. That bright smile, his big hands, the warmth that radiated from him like he was the fucking sun in this goddamn abyss I had created. It was all too much.
My phone rang again. Cara. She’d been calling me every single day after I told her what happened, but I was too fucked up to talk.
I needed to go see Adam again, to make sure he was safe.
Or maybe I should stay away in case Régis was close by.
I was lost. I didn’t know what I wanted to do.
All I had was a bottle of good red wine, a grudge, and an infinite chasm in my chest where Lucero used to be.
Where he had carved out the trust that I’d started placing in him. It hurt. Fuck, it goddamn hurt. I rolled over and pushed my face into the pillow. For the first time in my life, I had started to think I could rely on someone other than me. Now? I was pretty damn sure I was stupid.
Cara rang me again. I stared at it and then finally answered. When I did, she sighed.
“You’re drunk,” she said.
“Only a little.”
“Oh, Onyx.” She sighed. “Why won’t you talk to him? I know he fucked up, but you love him. Isn’t that worth trying again?”
I froze. “He lied to me. He hid things. I can’t, Cara,” I said. “I-I just can’t.”
I had finally opened up and was going to tell him everything.
About me, about Adam, about my father. And then it was already over.
He’d broken the one thing I had asked him not to do.
Everything else I let slide, but this thing, this one thing, it was violated.
And I couldn’t forgive him for it. I wouldn’t!
“I know,” Cara said. “But you’re suffering too. No one who hates someone gets this fucked up about it,” she said. “You don’t hate him, you’re just upset, honey. Talk to him. At least try. Maybe he has a reason.”
“I know the reason. He’s nosey and annoying and suffocating,” I spat.
And warm. And protective. And fuck, he was different than anyone else that I had ever met. I rolled over and stared at the ceiling again. My chest ached harder. Shit. Did I actually miss him? No, no, that couldn’t be true.
“Onyx,” Cara said softly. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“No.”
I didn’t know how to put it into words. The deep ache in my body felt like it went to my bones, and no matter how much I rubbed, or drank, or tried to sleep through it, nothing soothed it.
For once, I was honest with someone. No, I wasn’t okay.
The truth was that I just wanted Lucero back.
He had filled the empty spaces in my life the way that killing never had.
I missed him. I craved his big, dumb smile, his whispered pleas, his knees dragging across the floor when he followed me.
I just missed him.
“I’m suspending jobs for now.” Cara’s voice cut through the noise in my brain.
Blinking, I registered her words. I shot up. “What? No!” I said. “I need something to focus on!”
“Right now?” she said coldly. “You’re going to get yourself hurt. So no. It’s my job to be your eyes in the sky.” She fell quiet. “And to protect you. I love you, Onyx. When you’re ready to take on more work, you let me know. I’m rooting for you.”
The call ended. When I tried to call back, it went to voicemail. I tried again. And again. Nothing. Cara wasn’t kidding. This was her slapping down a boundary and telling me no. All I had now? Was nothing.
There was nothing left.
My phone buzzed in my hand. I yanked it up, ready to take her call.
Instead, it was Lucero. I’d changed his name a few weeks ago to Crazy Husband.
That name flashed across the screen. He hadn’t bothered to call me for two weeks.
Yeah, I’d told him to go but… seeing his name again? It did something to me.
I was about to answer it when I remembered why I was so upset. Just as soon as I thought about giving him the time of day, I ended the call. A minute went by. Two. And then my voicemail notification pinged. I pressed it.
“I know you put the tracking app on my phone. I have Adam with me.”
My blood ran cold. He didn’t sound like the Lucero that I knew. No, this was something else. Someone else. I heard a hard edge to his voice that struck me in my core. I didn’t think, I just moved. I shot up from the couch and paced.
Lucero wouldn’t hurt Adam. Right? No, not necessarily, but he’s obsessive. What if he’s snapped? What if he really will hurt him?
The more I paced, the more I felt the fear turning into burning hot rage in my chest. No one fucked with my brother. Even if I still gave a damn about Lucero, he had just crossed the line. Again. This time? I wouldn’t even dream of forgiving him.
I went into my office and opened my safe.
There were the preloaded syringes. I opened my pouch and tucked ten into the black leather.
I fastened it and stalked to my bedroom.
The robe and slippers were exchanged for black cargo pants, a black T-shirt, and black boots.
If I was going to take Lucero out, I had to make sure he didn’t see me coming as much as possible. He was bigger, but I was pissed off.
Equal fucking playing field.
*****************************
I followed the GPS until I got to the coordinates.
For a while, I sat in the shadows and watched.
I didn’t move until darkness fell, but I quickly realized my mistake.
He wasn’t somewhere private. He was at his parents’ home.
I saw Nash, Elia, and even his mother walk into the house.
Shit. This was going to be a hell of a lot more complicated than I thought.
When the coast was clear, I scaled a wall in the back and dropped to the other side.
The sound of voices came and went inside a large house to the left.
To the right, the sound of footsteps crunched through sticks and grass.
Guards. Damn, Lucero wasn’t nearly as broke as he’d made himself out to be.
Which made his bumming on my couch that much more annoying. Jackass.
I moved forward and peered into one of the windows. There were already people sitting at a table. I recognized most of them. No Lucero or Adam, though. Shit. Where the hell was he? I knew he was here, but he could be anywhere.
After walking around the entire perimeter of the house, I finally found him.
There was a decent-sized shed in the back.
Through the window, I found Adam in a chair and Lucero standing in front of him, those big arms folded over his chest. I couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but it didn’t matter.
I was going to have to take Lucero down.
Slipping inside, I moved beside a stack of crates pushed up against the wall. Carefully, I moved closer.
“Lucero, this is a bad idea,” Adam said.
The man shrugged. “It’s the only thing I know how to do.”
What? Kidnapping my brother? I was going to kill him!
I pulled out two needles, one for each hand, and uncapped them with my teeth.
My heart raced. The thought of killing Lucero made my blood turn cold and my stomach twist into something too terrible to name.
Nausea sprung up on me, my throat tightened, and my mouth went dry.
I took another step, and Adam’s eyes snapped to me.
“What the fuck, Louis!”
Lucero spun on me so fast, I stepped back out of sheer shock. His hands wrapped around my wrists, tight. So tight. His thick fingers pushed against pressure points and my fingers opened on their own. I dropped both needles.
“Bella,” he breathed. “Finally.”
I stared at him. “Let go of me.”
“No,” he grunted.
Lucero yanked me toward him and his lips crashed against mine.
My eyes flew open, my breath hitching in my throat as his tongue seared against the seal of my lips, begging to be let in.
I faltered. Trembling, my lips parted, and Lucero moaned into my mouth, hot and heavy.
I stupidly kissed him back, my fingers shaking as my tongue met his.
“Um, hello?”
I yanked back. Adam was staring at both of us with something between disgust and relief. He raised a brow at us.
“No offense, but I don’t really wanna see my little brother making out,” he said. “Cute reunion, though.” He stood up. “Onyx, we’re talking about why you came in here with needles. Something tells me you’ve been lying as much as you accuse Lucero of.”
My face went a shade of red I didn’t know was possible. Shit, he was right. There was so much that my big brother didn’t even know about me. I nodded weakly.
“Um, yeah,” I muttered. “Okay. And we’re going to talk about how you’re out of your apartment right now.”
Adam smiled. He patted my back as he walked past. “If Lucero’s food was that good? I had to have the source. Worth it.” He paused. “Plus I’m on two Xanax bars Emir gave me. I can’t feel my face, but I can’t feel the anxiety either.”