Chapter 13
Thirteen
Nero
“Don’t let her out,” I said to Pretender. “No matter how much she complains, not even if she goes on another hunger strike, understand?”
I was leaving in the morning. I’d be gone no more than a week, and if she escaped while I was gone, the chances of me getting to her before someone else did were slim. Someone was always watching and waiting. I was a member of The Five, my identity had been secret until recently, and I’d collected many enemies over the years.
Pretender nodded. “I’ll make sure she doesn’t leave.”
She still had the key she’d stolen and hidden somewhere in her room, so I’d installed a padlock on the outside. She could hate me for it all she wanted, but her safety was more important than anything else. I’d make it up to her somehow when I returned.
“Are you going to tell her you’re leaving?” Pretender asked, keeping his gaze averted.
My ward knew I didn’t like to be questioned, but he obviously felt strongly enough about it that he’d risked asking. “I assume, you think I should?”
He licked his lips, his gaze darting to me and back down. “I think she’ll be calmer knowing you haven’t abandoned her, that you’re coming back.”
“You think my absence would distress her?”
“I do,” he said. “I think she might believe you’ve lost interest in her if you don’t tell her why you’re leaving.”
I slid my hands in my pockets and studied his unnaturally perfect face. “You think you know my bonded better than me?”
His gaze shot to mine. “No, I would never assume to know Mina more than you, sir.”
“Then what brings you to this conclusion?” I liked the idea of my little Lalka missing me, craving me, but I doubted she felt strongly enough for me to feel distress at my absence.
His gaze came to me again. “My own feelings. When I was young and new to your home and your employ, you would leave and I’d never know until I sought you out that you were gone. I thought…more than once…that you’d abandoned me the same way my family had.”
I stared at him, taken off guard by his confession, and by the mention of his family. He never spoke about them.
“I didn’t mean to overstep or imply I knew your female more than you, I assure you I would never—”
“Be at ease, Pretender,” I said, the urge to alleviate his disquiet also took me off guard. “I appreciate your candor.”
He nodded jerkily.
“I’ll go to her now. After you’ve checked my weapons, you can finish for the evening.”
“Thank you,” he said and continued to sharpen my favorite blade.
I stopped at the door before I walked out. “I’ll see you in a week’s time.”
His throat worked. “Be safe.”
I strode out, a strange feeling in my gut. Pretender had been with me since he was a child, gifted to me by his parents when they were unable to pay their debts and they’d never looked back. He’d been malnourished, terrified, and he’d barely spoken a word when they dumped him at my door. I’d protected and trained him, provided him with an income, a home.
He was the only other being I trusted besides my brothers and, I guessed, the closest thing I’d had to a child of my own. I realized now, for the first time, he probably saw me as a parental figure. I wasn’t sure how to process this realization or the accompanying feelings that filled me—feelings that were volatile and unwanted.
But it was too late to stop them now, wasn’t it? My little doll had been slowly yet surely melting the ice that had numbed me for so very long.
The fates had decided it was time for the centuries of emotional paralysis to be over. They had something else in store for me now, and even though I’d fought it, I knew from experience that fighting fate was a losing battle.
I stopped outside Mina’s door. It was late and she’d be asleep. The agony of resisting her was constant now. I burned for her every hour of the day and night. I was able to withstand the kind of pain lesser males would have gone mad from. The kind of torment that would have driven them to snap and do her damage that could never be repaired or forgiven.
I’d come close to losing that control, more times than should be possible. Only Mina could do that, push me to the edge, and only she had the power to stop me. I realized now, the primal instinct to mate was just as powerful as the need to protect her, even from myself.
Nothing could make me hurt my little doll. I knew that now.
Sliding the key from my pocket, I undid the padlock soundlessly and opened the door.
I’d suffered the kind of torture that shattered the most powerful of men. I never believed anything could break me after surviving that—I’d been wrong.
Mina could break me, into a million pieces, and she didn’t even know it.
Gods, I craved her love like a starved beast, even if I didn’t know how the emotion felt any longer, even though I didn’t know if I was even capable of ever returning it. All I knew was I wanted it, because I needed her to want only me. Only then could I be sure I’d never lose her, that she would never leave me.
You will never know what it feels like to be loved by me, because I could never love a monster like you.
The words she’d said that first night in the garden echoed through my mind. Did she still feel that way? Was I still that same monster in her eyes?
I closed the door behind me and approached my sleeping bride. She was covered in a mountain of blankets, her breathing slow and even, but it quickened when I got closer to her. Even in sleep she sensed me, wanted me.
Would my leaving truly distress her?
Watching the rapid rise and fall of her chest under the covers, I slid my hand down the front of my shirt, undoing the buttons as I went.
She groaned in her sleep, shoving back the covers, and her scent washed over me. She was rubbing her thighs together while she muttered and moaned in her sleep, telling me how much she needed me.
I needed her as well. I just wanted another taste of her before I left. A week without her felt like an eternity, and the mere thought stunned me. I shrugged off my shirt and stripped off the rest of my clothes.
I breathed her scent deep into my lungs as I lifted the covers, then eased onto the mattress beside her. Anticipation was coursing through me. Something else I hadn’t felt in too long to remember.
I wanted to fuck her, badly, but I wouldn’t, not tonight, not right before I left—not when I didn’t have days to glut on her like the starved monster she made me.
This would have to do until I returned.
Mina
A strong arm banded around me, while a hand clamped over my mouth.
I tried to scream behind cold fingers, to get free, but I was held too tight.
“Fight all you want, Lalka, you will never escape me,” Nero growled against my ear.
As soon as I heard his voice, a wave of desire washed over me, but I was already hot and needy, wasn’t I? I’d been dreaming of him. Of Nero here with me, of him catching me, touching me. That’s when I became aware of his bare skin against my back. My nightgown had lifted while I slept, and I could feel every hard, cool inch of him pressed against my body.
Something hard prodded my bottom. His cock. “Your word, Mina?”
My breath shook from me. We were going to play our game.
“Say it so I know you remember it.”
“Pink.”
“And if you’re unable to speak, hit me three times in quick succession and I’ll stop.”
“Why wouldn’t I be able to speak?”
“Tell me you understand?”
I shivered, feeling unsure, but also full of anticipation. “I understand.”
He released me suddenly, and excitement rushed through my body as I immediately dove for the edge of the bed. Nero grabbed me by the ankle and dragged me back, while I kicked and fought. He shoved my legs wide, and came down on top of me, grinding against me.
My underwear was the only barrier between us and I gasped. “No,” I cried. “Stop.”
He chuckled. “How loud will you scream, do you think, when I fuck you for the first time? Will you cry and writhe and beg for more when I finally fill that tight little pussy and claim what’s mine?”
I whimpered, his dirty words, and his big body covering me, grinding on me, made it hard to think, let alone breathe. I tried to lift my hips to chase the feeling quickly building inside me.
“My shameless little doll,” he said, pinning my hands over my head.
His eys held mine as he started moving his hips in a way that had my eyes rolling back in my head.
It didn’t take long before he had me crying out, shaking and groaning for him as he pushed me over the edge, and before I could catch my breath, Nero lifted me off the mattress and shoved me against the pink velvet headboard. My back was to the fabric, my legs out in front of me. He climbed to his knees, one on either side of my thighs, and I shoved at him, still playing our game, as his cock jutted from him right in front of my face.
I’d never seen it up close before, and I wanted to touch it, badly.
He fisted my hair and jerked my head back, making me watch as he bit down on his palm, then slid his bloody hand along his hard length, coating himself in blood.
My mouth watered and a needy whimper slipped free. He was going to make me do what I saw others doing in his club.
“Open your mouth,” he demanded.
He was going to use my mouth for his pleasure. I shook my head, slamming my lips together, while my fear of what was about to happen mixed with the thrill of it all and my longing for the taste of his blood. He jammed his thumb in the side of my mouth, forcing it open and, ignoring my punching and scratching, gripped his hard length and pushed it into my open mouth.
Saltiness mixed with the decadent flavor of his blood hit my tongue, and his scent was deeper, muskier now.
“Wrap your lips around me, little doll, while your bonded fucks your pretty mouth.”
I stopped hitting and dug my fingers into his hard thighs when he pushed deep, hitting the back of my throat. I gagged. “Relax your throat, Mina,” he said huskily. “Let me in.”
I swallowed convulsively, and he groaned and started thrusting. He was thick, and my mouth was stretched impossibly wide, so wide my jaw already ached. He was too long to fit all of him in, but I wanted to please him. I wanted to make him feel good, like he had done for me.
“Eyes on me,” he said, tugging on my hair.
I did as he said, my eyes locking on his, and just the sight of his violet eyes, hot and hungry, had me moaning and squeezing my thighs tightly together.
“That’s it, Lalka. Suck off every drop of my blood.” He cupped my face with his other hand and ran his thumb along my jaw while he thrust into my mouth over and over. “You’re doing so good.”
His touch was gentle, tender, a complete contrast to the way he filled my mouth. How could I love this? How could I want it? But I did. I’d never felt so wanted in my life.
“I’m going to come down your throat, and you’re going to swallow every drop, understand?” he said huskily.
I didn’t know what that meant, but I would do it, whatever it was. I wanted to make him happy. The saltiness intensified, something was leaking from the tip.
“When I say bite, sink those little fangs into my cock, Mina.”
Oh gods. I nodded.
Nero gripped my hair even tighter, his cock growing thicker, making me whimper. He pulled out, so only the swollen head was in my mouth. “Bite,” he said. I did, biting into the firm flesh. “Now release.” I did, and he snarled and thrust deep again into my mouth, flooding it with blood and something else. His come.
“Swallow,” he growled.
I gulped, but there was too much, and it slipped from my mouth, sliding down my chin, while he continued to thrust.
Nero finally slowed, and with his eyes still on me, he slid from my mouth. Swiping his thumb over my chin, he collected what I’d spilled and pushed it back past my lips. “All of it. Suck it clean.”
I did, eagerly.
“Do you like the way your bonded tastes?” he asked as he watched closely, his nostrils flaring as I lapped up every drop.
“Yes,” I whispered, my voice hoarse. “Very much.”
His chest expanded on an unneeded breath. “How slick are your thighs?”
I slid them together. “Very.” I looked down and gasped. His cock was still hard, thrusting from his hips, large and intimidating.
Hooking me around the waist, he pulled me down the bed and rolled me to my side, so my back was to him, then he covered me, pushing my hips forward so I was half on my stomach. I tried to pull away, but he curled a hand around my throat and gripped my hip with the other.
He yanked my underwear down my legs, tossing them aside, then his cock was prodding me from behind, and he shoved it between my slick thighs. It parted my pussy, rubbing over the place he liked to use his fingers, but not going inside me.
“Squeeze your thighs together, nice and tight,” he said roughly against my ear.
I did as he said, moaning as he started to thrust between my clenched thighs. One hand left my hip and covered my mouth. “Bite,” he demanded.
I did, sinking a fang into the finger he pushed past my lips. Blood bubbled up and dripped from the tip. Before I could lap it up, he slid his hand under me, cupping me and using his bloody finger to ease the way as he slid it between my folds, making it extra slippery as he rubbed. Oh gods. So good. I was already past excited, and when he touched me, I couldn’t hold in my plea for more.
“Please, Nero. I need it.”
“Who do you belong to, Mina?”
I gasped when he rubbed faster, pushing the swirl of tension building inside me higher. “You. Oh gods, only you make me feel this way.”
He slammed against my bottom, thrusting faster, his hard length teasing my sensitive flesh. “That’s right. And no one else will ever touch this cunt, little doll, no one else will ever make you scream, and if they do, I will fucking kill them.”
He sank his fangs into my throat, and I screamed, coming instantly. He thrust twice more, groaning against my skin, and then he pulsed between my thighs, coating them with his come.
His hand slid from my throat, down to my breast, and he massaged as he sucked gently, while he continued to feed from me.
I loved it, all of it.
Finally, he lapped at my skin, sealing his bite. His weight vanished, then I was rolled again and pulled up against him. His arms were still a little stiff when they came around me, when he held me like last time, but my heart filled, because he was trying.
“I have to leave for a while,” he said into the darkness.
I froze, trying to pull away. “You’re leaving me?” I hated how pathetic I sounded, but there was no holding in the way I felt.
He didn’t let me go. “I won’t be gone long. A week at most.”
“Then take me with you.”
“I can’t do that. It’ll be too dangerous.”
“Does this have to do with your meeting with the prime?”
“Yes.”
I remembered the last time he’d visited me at my parents’ house, late at night, and two days late. He’d smelled of blood, his and someone else’s. “Are you going to kill someone?”
“Yes,” he said without hesitation. “There is a risk to us, not just to our people, but to you, because you belong to me.” He tilted my head back, his touch more gentle than it had ever been. “I have enemies, Mina, because of who I am and what I’ve done. Enemies who would love to hurt me.”
“How can they hurt you? Nothing hurts you,” I said, because it was the truth. My fated mate wasn’t capable of feeling for me the way I realized I was starting to feel for him.
“Word will have gotten out about the blood moon ceremony. About the little female who I keep locked away, protecting her from anyone who would harm her.” He shook his head, and a look passed over his face, one of surprise. “I should never have claimed you. I should have walked away the day I found you.”
Dread filled me. Was he going to send me away. “You don’t want me anymore, do you?”
“I want you more than ever, Lalka. I should never have claimed you because I’m not fooling anyone, not even myself, not anymore.” He searched my face. “You are melting my heart, little doll. I don’t know what I feel for you, but I feel something, for the first time in centuries…I feel something , and that makes you incredibly dangerous.”
He cared about me. “Just…please, don’t send me away,” I rushed out.
“I couldn’t even if I wanted to. Even knowing it would be the safest thing for both of us. But I can’t do it.”
His tone, his expression was stoic, even cold as usual, but the words were anything but. His heart may be melting, but he’d been emotionless for so long, the warmth hadn’t yet touched the surface. “What do you need me to do?”
“I need you to stay in this room while I’m gone. I need to know you are here and safe.” He ran the backs of his fingers down the side of my face. “I’ve killed more beings than I can count. My enemies are vast, and some of them are closer than I would like. I’m a valuable asset because I’ve eliminated every target I’ve been given. I’ve withstood months or brutality and torture. I’m the weapon our elders wield when one is needed.”
“You were tortured?”
Another brush of his cool fingers down the side of my face. “Yes.”
“Is that how your heart stopped?”
He gently slid his thumb over my lower lip. “Yes.”
I couldn’t bear the thought of it. Who was he before all the death and pain? Nero had buried that part of himself deep under layers of ice. It would take a long time to uncover that male again—if it were even possible.
“The previous fae monarch still has supporters, members of his royal house who fled when the new king was crowned, and they’re looking for revenge.”
“You killed the old king, didn’t you?”
“Yes,” he said, watching his own hand as it slid over my shoulder. “I killed him.” His gaze lifted to mine. “No one deserved death as much as him. Vampire and fae have been enemies so long, I think most don’t even remember why.”
“I read in one of the history books in my parents’ library that the king abducted a vampire,” I said. “Is that true?”
His throat worked. “Yes, he did. He took Dorotha.”
“Your sister?”
“She’d been young and innocent, breakable…a lot like you, my little Lalka. Back then, our people and theirs had coexisted, somewhat peacefully. Until the king snatched her and made her his breeder.”
“What?” I whispered in horror.
“Back then, before advancements had been made in that area, childbirth was extremely dangerous for the fae—they often lost their children and their females. Vampires didn’t have the same problems, our numbers were growing, our females strong. So in an attempt to strengthen their bloodline, the king ordered the males in the royal house to take a vampire breeder to bear their young. Vampire and fae are both blood drinkers, both strong, immortal, so they used us, they used our females…they held them captive and forced them to bear their young.”
That part had been missing from my schoolbooks, of course. I couldn’t imagine how terrified those females must have been. “I had no idea.”
“War broke out between our people as a result, lasting many lifetimes. That whole time, my sister had been hidden away, and I’d never been able to find her. Eventually, the king killed her to punish me for the part I’d played in the war, for all the fae I killed in her name. Then he left her body for me to find.”
“That’s…so awful, Nero. It’s sick and twisted and evil. I’m so sorry.”
He searched my eyes, then dipped his chin. “Yes, it is all of those things. The war may have ended after I killed the king and the treaty was signed, but the danger is still there, it’s just different. The Five leaving the fae border and stepping away from that life has the elders nervous. We’re powerful, and they want to regain control over us, but especially over me.”
I frowned. “You’re still helping them, though. You’re going away now because of the prime’s order. You’re already doing as they ask.”
He nodded. “Refusing the prime is not done, Mina, not by anyone, but I could. I could refuse, I could challenge him, I could walk away, and that’s what he’s most afraid of. He wanted me to stay in the shadows. He wants to put me back there more than anything. If he’d known about you earlier, and my intention to claim you, he would have used you to get his way.”
“And you think he’d use me now?”
“If given the chance. Bonding with a female, mating, those things change a male, especially one like me. It could make me…unpredictable, even more dangerous. But coming for you now would be signing his own death warrant. The prime is arrogant, and I don’t trust him, but coming for you would be going directly against our sacred laws. Even he isn’t above them.” His violet eyes darkened. “Still, I want you to promise me, while I’m gone, that you will stay in here. Pretender will spread the word that I’ve sent you away. Better for everyone to believe you’re not here at all than risk your safety.”
“I promise I’ll stay in this room.”
He pulled me up his body, so I was curled on his lap. “Thank you,” he said. “Now, you need to feed, Lalka. I’ve left blood for you, but I need you to drink your fill before I leave.”
“Okay.” I snuggled in closer and nuzzled his throat, finding the thick pulsing vein there, while he rubbed my back—then I bit him.
And I fed from my male.