Chapter Twenty-Four
Although she doesn’t audibly declare it, Calli can’t seem to keep her mind from the keys. Through three separate chess matches with Lillienne, she relentlessly nibbles at her nails, staring off into space when Lillienne is too concentrated on figuring out her next move.
Without knowing whether his leaving them in the room with me was intentional or not, I can hardly openly admit to taking them and risk losing Calli’s trust if it turns out I took them against her brother’s wishes.
I opt for casually scouring the shelves again for anything that might prove useful for my later research on the Relic, in the hopes that she might let it drop.
‘Hah! Check, again,’ Lillienne exclaims, throwing her hands up in triumph. ‘Get yourself out of that one, I dare you.’
Calli blows air through her lips, resting her head on her hand, her elbow propped up on the edge of the circular table.
‘You can’t do that move, Lillienne. Knights only move in an L shape, not diagonally across, that’s Ceremoniates.’
‘Look, I don’t know what rules you have here in Umbra, but I know for a fact knights can capture diagonally and Ceremoniates horizontally or vertically.’
‘No, that’s rooks. This is our fourth match. I should be way more hopeful that you might actually know how to play this time.’
‘Just as I was willing to overlook how you captured most of my pawns diagonally even though they can only move vertically.’
Sensing Calli is growing weary of Lillienne’s perfect inability to grasp the rules of any game, I take myself over to the shelves filled with the red books that all hold the same contents, wondering if she might appreciate a disruption to the game as I would appreciate knowing what the contents of each book holds.
‘These are all the copies of the same book. Translations, and yet not a single one in the common language.’
‘There was a copy at some point,’ Calli gets up from her table, leaving Lillienne sulking over another pointless attempt at winning a match.
‘I mean, I’ve never read it, but Eliaz told me it was given away many decades ago, but to whom he never said.
Our parents sent it off, obviously someone needed that particular translation more than we did. ’
‘But you must have a copy in the original tongue somewhere? Surely you have at least one copy that you’re able to read, after all, why own them if not for reading?’ I ask her as she comes to stand at my side, arms crossed and staring up at the expanse of red as I do.
‘My father found each and every existing copy of this book, tracked them all down and kept them here. Some are duplicates of the same language, but most are unique in their inscriptions.’
‘Sounds like your father didn’t want anyone reading it, seems odd that he would part with one though. What is the book? There’s no titles on the spines or covers. Just emptiness.’
Calli shrugs. ‘I dunno. It’s a book.’
I can’t even be annoyed, after all, she has made it very clear up until now that she is not a reader. But still, she is certainly nosy enough to have found out exactly why her father hoarded every copy of the same title.
She nibbles at her bottom lip, not meeting my eyes. There is no question that she knows the contents of the book and, for the first time, is choosing to be dishonest with me. For whatever reason, she is choosing secrecy over her usual openness, and that only makes me desperate to pry further.
‘You never thought it interesting enough to ask? It seems strange to not at least wonder what your father was so desperate to keep them contained within these walls. Or why he saw it fit to part with the only book that the people of Valtayre would be able to read.’
‘I didn’t ask,’ her words are sharp, edged with something dangerous and cautious and worried all at once.
‘But you were told, right?’
‘I don’t know why you care so much.’
‘Because you’re not being truthful and I can tell.’
She snaps her head to me, red eyes glowing bright with anger, stepping closer. I am much taller than her, by at least a foot, but by the Relic, her stare sure shrinks me down to the size of a rodent.
‘Just like you’re being so damn truthful about those rusted old keys.’ Her brows are arched high into her forehead, awaiting my answer. Shit. She’s got me there.
‘What’s going on and why am I not involved?’ Lillienne pipes up from the chess table. ‘It sounds juicy.’
Calli breaks her gaze from me, turning to Lillienne. ‘Your best friend has my brother’s most valuable possessions in her pocket, and she is lying to me about them whilst also lecturing me about honesty.’
Lillienne leans back in her chair, as if craning to get a better view on me.
Even though there is nothing in the way.
‘I have to admit, Eira. I saw those keys the same time as she did and you sure snatched them up quickly, not to mention the fact that there are no such keys for silly store cupboards back at the castle.’
‘I uh...’ I sure am caught out here.
‘You always were a terrible liar.’
‘She’s not telling me something about these books, which leads me to think that there is something else they don’t want me to know.’ I point to Calli, feeling ridiculous and childish with the gesture.
Lillienne turns a palm up at her. ‘Well, sister to the confusingly caring shadow-man, what say you?’
The sister-to-the-shadow-man, shifts her weight from one foot to the other, staring down at the floor.
‘I told … that I … you,’ she mumbles.
‘Sorry, what was that?’ I duck my head as though to try and read her lips this time.
‘Speak up shadow-sister we can’t hear you,’ Lillienne urges.
‘I told Eliaz that I … you.’
‘Again. Louder.’ I lose my patience, knowing full well what she is about to say is going to anger me further. The Daegon’s and their godsdamn secrets.
‘I told Eliaz that I wouldn’t tell you!’ she shouts. ‘He says you don’t need to know.’
I clench my fists, tightening my jaw as I caution myself not to completely lose it on her. She has been sworn to secrecy, and that is by no means a guilty act.
‘I was not aware that Eliaz is the God of what I do and do not need to know. Perhaps we might get him sworn into the Virtuae, they might appreciate a fresh face.’
The sarcastic remark seems to evoke a genuine concern in Calli. Her lips tremble, breathing quick and shallow, tears glistening red in her eyes. If I wasn’t this close, I wouldn’t notice the subtle shake to her head, as though she cannot push down the fervent conflict from surfacing in her body.
I pull the keys from their safe place in my dress, letting them dangle from my fingertips just as Eliaz had when he taunted me with them. Only it wasn’t an act of teasing, rather a test to see what she would rather me not do.
‘You have been so honest, so kind and gracious as I’ve intruded in your home, and I want you to know how much I truly appreciate that.
How your generosity and truthfulness have allowed me to trust in what your brother is doing for my kingdom, and what we both have to sacrifice for the greater good of our people.
But if you all begin to operate with secrecy, then I’m afraid I will have misplaced my trust.’
Calli swallows, shifting her weight on her feet uncomfortably.
‘I will ask one question to you right now, and if you lie, I will refuse to work alongside your brother. I will find another avenue for helping my kingdom overcome this affliction, whatever the cost.’
My heart strains a little at the agony of the nod she gives me. Lillienne sits open mouthed behind her in my line of view, either impressed by my assertiveness or appalled at the bluntness of my words.
‘There is a lock beneath the rug on which you stand, correct?’
Calli blinks at me before looking to her feet as though she did not even remember they were there. When her head rises upwards again, she parts her lips, lines of spit connecting them together still.
‘Yes,’ a whisper, no reluctance however in the confession. She understands.
If I had pressed further with the red books I would have been pushing her to another kind of dishonesty, a broken promise between her and the person she values most. Likewise, if I had asked her if these specific keys open the lock, then she can be held accountable for telling me as such.
But if I simply have her confirm the presence of the lock, with the subtext being that these keys fit perfectly within said lock, then she remains innocent should Eliaz be against me opening that door and finding what lies below. Thus, absolving her of guilt.
I smile at her, pulling the keys into my palm by the chain.
‘I will now ask you to step aside. You don’t have to watch me, or follow me, but I will be opening that door.’
‘Eira, I’m not sure what it is you think this is achieving, but don’t you think it would be better to allow them to tell you themselves what they seem to think it better you don’t know?
As confusing as that is. You preach honesty but won’t allow them to practice it, especially if you force it from them.
’ Lillienne provides a convincing argument, yes, but there is a surety enveloping my gut that I cannot ignore.
‘I have to do this, and it is not clear whether or not I came into the possession of these keys as a result of an attempt at sincerity. I just know that I am willing to accept the consequences.’
Calli takes herself off the rug as I bend down to pull it from the trapdoor, and as kneel down and uncover the wooden entrance to her brother’s secrets, she places a hand on my shoulder. Gentle but cold.
‘Please don’t think of us any differently. I can’t bear the thought of us never being friends.’
I would be lying if that didn’t frighten me, the thought of what’s down there being something truly capable of deterring me from my only true option at saving my kingdom from this blasted plague.
‘Consider me your back-up depending on what I think of what’s down there.’ Lillienne feels awkward in most situations, especially those of certain degrees of seriousness.
I choose not to say anything to either of them, unsure of what I could say.
Instead, I hold the key that’s the right size for the lock tight and bring its tip to the opening.
I silently curse my hands as they begin shaking with the uncertainty of what I’m about to uncover.
Of what I could potentially unleash. Although the lock does not appear to be particularly old, I expect it to protest a little as I turn the key, to screech its objections at being turned open by my hand as opposed to its master. But it does not.
With one easy twist, the latch lets go without so much as a click.
Pumped full of adrenaline now, there is no hesitation in me and with haste I yank upwards, using the turned key as a lever to lift the door free from its frame.
The muscles in my back strain with the sheer weight of the door, the wooden facade lifting to reveal a layer of steel underneath that shines as I set it to rest on the floor.
From the void of darkness that stares up at me, the smell of earth and iron and salt fights for dominance with the burning wood of the library’s hearth.
It’s nauseating and thick as it slides down my nose and the back of my throat and yet, I find myself breathing it in like it is the clearest air my lungs have ever respired.
A familiar tingle to the way I both welcome and detest its presence.
‘There is a ladder,’ Calli’s voice is a ricochet in the atmosphere of my ecstasy as I inhale further. She has taken her hand from my shoulder, and I have no idea when. I am dizzy with nostalgia and pain and sudden all-consuming, mind-numbing – hope.
I think I at least nod to Calli in acknowledgment before I pivot on my knees and find my footing on a rung of the ladder, the metal singing with the hit of my bootlaces, but in this state, I could recite Innmez’s prayer song in its entirety and would be none the wiser.
My senses are obscured by the intensity of it all, the apprehension brought upon me by entering the unknown is overthrown by the need to get down there as fast as my body will allow.
Because the dark that I descend into – it smells like him.
A humid summer’s day. The forest floor after rain. Fresh herbs from the castle kitchens.
Grassy. Earthy. Alive.
It smells like Ori. The thought stings as it fixes in place at the forefront of my mind. My brother, Ori, must be here. Why else would Calli have been so worried about how I might react?
But that doesn’t matter right now. All that matters is that I find him. My brother I have been parted for most of my lengthy and confusing life. I can’t get down the ladder fast enough, my breathing frantic and not delivering the right amount of oxygen I need.
‘Ori,’ I wheeze out, desperation turning to panic with the dizziness pooling into my head, my grasp on the conscious world growing faint. The smell of my brother burning away into a stale scent of iron, salt and death.
I misplace my foot, on an imaginary rung, as I try to plant my weight down on nothing but air. My fingers slip from the metal as though the ladder is melting to the touch. I don’t have time to scream as I fall.
The ground comes up to meet me before my lips even part.
A crunch of bone. A warm wetness behind my ear. A single tear.
And nothing.