Chapter 40 Nyssa #3
“And I’m not anyone else.” Then I kissed him fully on the mouth — fuck the foreplay. I was already wound tighter than an arrow on a taut bowstring — drawn back against the face of Fate itself, hovering on that tenuous edge, waiting to be set free.
And when he kissed me back, pouring all the love he felt down the bond humming between us, I felt the whisper of that string across my own cheek — loosed and free — as if Fate herself had released it, whispering: Yes.
This is exactly where you’re supposed to be at this very moment. This soul was made for yours.
So, I shoved my worries, my biting concerns, and my feelings of inadequacy aside to kiss him back. I poured myself so fully into him it was like I ceased to exist. Or he did. Or we both merely only existed within the confines of each other, bound in soul just as much as flesh.
The smell of caramel and berries in the air heightened and it was a powerful aphrodisiac.
He tore off the thin scrap of fabric I was clad in — wrenching it from my collarbone with nothing but his teeth and an impatient snarl — and I clawed at the fabric of his shirt with my fingernails, sharpened to points with the help of my magic.
Before it could even fall to the floor with a soft thump, I was already tearing at the waistband of his breeches, desperate to wrap my fingers around the throbbing cock stuck within them.
They came off quickly, shoved forcibly down his legs by his equally impatient hand — so entirely unexpected in my constant visual field of white that a giggle burst from my lips, only to be devoured a second later by his hungry lips.
“Still just as sweet as ever,” he whispered against them, setting that tiny bundle of nerves at the apex of my core alight.
He must have felt my rising desire through our tether because his weight shifted forward. My legs dropped open to accommodate his hips, and then the tip of his cock, slick with the proof of his need, was perched at my entrance, teasing me as he dragged it up and down.
“Caelus,” I moaned, hitching my hips to guide him in.
He responded with a deep, throaty chuckle, and that bundle throbbed. His lips trailed down the side of my neck, making it pulse again — more insistent with every kiss.
“Caelus,” I tried again. “Please. I need you.”
His groan rumbled against my cheek as he notched his cock into place.
“I will never tire of you begging for this.” He pushed it in ever so slightly, and I gasped in response, clenching around him.
“Never tire of feeling your need building like a tidal wave within me, as I feel you tightening around me.” He pressed further in, pausing when he was half way.
“Never tire of you making this one particular sound when I—”
He thrust the rest of the way in, in one quick burst, until our skin met with an audible slap, overpowered only by the loud, breathy moan that exited my mouth. If I wasn’t already blinded, cursed to see nothing but the same everlasting, piercing white, I’d have seen stars instead.
I writhed against him — all at once too full and not full enough — and he moved slowly to ease the ache for both of us. He withdrew just far enough that the tip of his cock remained within me, only to slide back in with the patience of a saint — patience I didn’t currently possess.
“Harder. Faster,” I pleaded, relieved when he shifted to better reach that one particular angle he knew I loved. In a matter of seconds, I was exploding in his arms — reduced to a quivering mess as he fought to restrain himself.
When my pulse slowed, and my breathing calmed enough to offer a breathy laugh, he withdrew completely, leaving me both satisfied and empty. I frowned, but he pressed a gentle kiss to my temple and whispered, “Trust me.”
The bed shifted and then I felt his breath, gentle and cool, on my inner thighs.
“Golden,” I murmured — then promptly lost the rest of my sentence to the bliss of his mouth between my legs.
I jolted so badly he had to physically restrain me with a palm over my lower belly — holding me still so that he could better devour me. His tongue explored every inch — from that throbbing bundle, to my soaked entrance, and once, when he slipped, it grazed that second, lower hole.
A moan slipped free, so high and sonorous, we both paused.
Shock and then pure, unadulterated delight flooded the bond. “Interesting,” he purred, then returned to that aching bud, shelving his discovery for the time being.
As he gently sucked, a single finger slid inside, crooking upwards to stroke against something I didn’t even know existed within me.
Rapture was coming — and so was I.
“Fuck,” he groaned. “I don’t think I’ll last long at all after that.”
“One way to find out,” I said, the words coming out breathier than I’d intended.
He cursed again, sliding back up my body and sheathing his cock in one smooth motion.
“Fuck,” I echoed, near-on climbing him like a tree, grasping anything I could take purchase of.
The end result was my fingernails scoring the skin of his back as my hands dug into his shoulders, holding on for dear life as he slammed into me again and again until our mingling desire overtook us both and we fell apart, together.
Eventually, we parted, and Caelus left me to go find some things in that miniscule bathroom with its non-existent shower screen, to clean up our combined messes.
When he returned, humming softly to himself, I smiled, committing the moment to memory.
I didn’t know how many good ones we had left, and I intended to savour every last second of this one.
A cold, wet washcloth passed over my belly and I swore.
Caelus giggled. “Sorry. The hot water seems to be out.”
“Wonderful,” I grumbled, holding my hand out for the cloth.
“Let me,” he said. “Please. I want nothing more than to take care of you tonight.”
My lower lip twitched, unbidden emotion swelling within me and I nodded, not trusting my voice.
Caelus immediately went to work cleaning every sensitive inch of me in such a tender, gentle way that I knew I’d have no trouble bringing myself to conclusion in the future just thinking about it.
“What are you thinking?” he asked with an audible grin.
I felt my cheeks heat and I turned quickly away, but not before he could capture my chin in one hand and press an equally tender kiss to my swollen lips.
“Whatever it was, you turned the most exquisite shade of copper thinking about it.”
I bit my lips before he could kiss them again, torn equally between mortification and delight.
“I love you,” he said, kissing my forehead, my nose, the corner of my lips. “More than you know.”
A grin twisted my face into what I hoped was pure happiness.
My finger slid down his neck and torso until it found the midpoint of his breastbone and tapped it once.
“I know,” then tapped my own in the same place.
“Because I feel it too. I cannot breathe without you, Golden. I am agitated and glum and the weight of the worlds rest more heavily on my shoulders. I yearn for you with a ferocity only the Fates are aware of. I am so completely in love with you—”
My sentence was cut off by his urgent kiss. In it, we conveyed every word left unspoken, and every hope we shared for our future. And if this was to be our last night together in the realms of the living, then it was a kiss of goodbyes as well.
“If this is truly to be our last night in these bodies—”
“I said it might be, not that it is,” I cut in.
“Nyssa, please.” He sighed. “I’m trying to say something important.”
I bit my lip, forbidding anything else to fall from my lips. A soft, muffled sound came from beside the bed, then Caelus pressed something light, sharp, and round into my palm. He didn’t say anything for a moment, just let me puzzle it out on my own.
The thing was small, hoop-shaped with an empty centre, and smelled of something I couldn’t quite put my finger on. A memory lingered at the edges of my mind; flashes of black glass, frustration, hope, pebbles, and overwhelming love.
“You once asked me to do this again, when our circumstances weren’t so… foul.”
I sniffed the object again, and the memory expanded. A black lake flashed into my mind. A Katniss flower reborn. And a pile of weeds beside an engrossed storm-wielder.
My heart picked up its tempo and I sat up in the narrow bed. My lungs felt cold, inhaling sharp breaths faster than, I thought, was usual.
“I know the war is not yet over, and this isn’t even remotely romantic, but…”
The object in my palm was a ring. A delicate, intricate ring.
“... I must ask you something.”
Oh, fuck. Is this really happening?
“If tonight is all we have, and tomorrow isn’t promised—”
Close your mouth, Nightshade. You’re gaping. And yes, this is really happening.
My cheeks flushed as I slammed my teeth together.
“—and if we’re truly to live and die together as Fate intended—”
“As you intended.”
I could hear the smile in his voice when he continued, “Then I’d give anything to do it as entwined as two beings can possibly be.
” He took a deep, steadying breath, his exhalation hitching in the middle like he was as nervous as I — perhaps the anxiety thrumming through my heart was not entirely my own after all.
“Marry me.”
Oh fuck, oh gods, oh Furies — I said it — I asked it — I can’t take it back now — what if she says no again — fuck — that wasn’t even remotely roman—
I couldn’t take it any longer. His fear was too sharp to bear, his love too deep to measure.
I kissed him, slipping that perfect tiny ring onto the finger housing my vena amoris — my vein of love — the vein running directly from hand to heart — and I kissed him.
Because tomorrow wasn’t promised.
And Fate had sent her messengers.
But we had one thing Kronos would never have: the drive to fight like hell for more nights just like this one. To fight for a future — one of our own making.
A better one.