Chapter 18
Audrey was, to Gunnar’s relief, right where he asked her to be, regaling E with a story that required waving arms. A quick check as he strolled through the stalls around the station didn’t turn up Dimitri and his guards or the vilebloods. He wanted to get her back to their cabin without encountering either group again.
E saw him first, the old Aperien fixing Gunnar with a glare. Audrey’s scent washed with relief as he strode up.
“You’ve been gone a long time,” she greeted. Her cheeks were pink from the cold, eyelashes rimmed in frost.
“Yeah, took a bit to get that shit sorted.” He nodded over her shoulder at E. “Thanks.”
E spoke in old Norse. “And what’s all this about?>>”
“That’s rude,” Audrey said, but it didn’t phase E in the least.
“You familiar with how the Moscow Dominion views humans?>>” Gunnar asked.
An affirmative grunt from the smith. “There going to be a problem?>>”
“Not sure.>>”
Audrey huffed. Gunnar held up a hand to soothe, asking for her to wait. Pissed her off, and he didn’t blame her.
“The Deathless’s son saw her in the market, asked to buy.>>”
E’s furry eyebrows lifted. He jumped down from his stool and started packing things away. “And then?>>”
“Told him she was mine, but he pushed and went to Rina. She backed me up, but there’s no paperwork if he digs.>>”
“He leaves with the morning train?>>”
“Far as I understood it. Rina certainly didn’t welcome him.>>”
Another grunt from E. Audrey shuffled between her feet, her annoyance fading into concern. “What’s going on?”
E motioned for them both to help shutter his goods. They joined—it did no one any good to fight E if he wanted something done. To Audrey, E said, “If you need to be alone this afternoon, stay with the chuchunas until the train leaves.”
“Alright?”
“Good.” To Gunnar, he added. “I’ll spend the afternoon at the station, watching Dimitri. He’s a greedy boy with none of the patience of his father. He comes, he complains, he tries to find a reason this place should be his. I assume you’d be watching him already if there wasn’t something else.>>”
“Two vileblood came in on today’s train. Rina wants me babysitting to decide if keeping them to hunt is worth the risk.>>”
“Trouble comes in threes.>>” With the tarp pulled and tied over the last of his goods, E gave a satisfied nod. He stepped to Audrey and gave her upper arm a squeeze—a reach for him, as he barely came up to her shoulder. Gunnar wasn’t sure he’d ever seen the smith so gentle around anyone, not even when she brought him cookies. “Thanks for helping me with the stall.”
With that, the dvergar smoothed down his gray beard and strolled off toward the station
Before Audrey could ask, Gunnar jerked his head toward their homestead. “Let’s walk while I fill you in.”
“You’re scaring me.”
“Yeah, well, it ain’t great,” he grumbled as he took her elbow and led her away from the pop-up market, north toward the unused portion of the railway’s dead end. A few minutes of walking and Audrey was about vibrating out of her skin with nervous energy. “You heard about how the Dominion deals with its human population?”
“Yes, though benefactors and contracts sounds like a fancy way of saying slavery,” she said with a grimace.
“Yeah.”
“The man at the market wanted to buy me?”
“Pretty much. I went to Rina, got it all sorted, but he’ll be around until the train leaves tomorrow.”
“Who is he?”
He didn’t want to worry her more, but he’d never lied to her and didn’t intend to start over this asshole. “Dimitri syn Koschei.”
Audrey stopped walking, fear saturating her scent through the thick furs. “Koschei? As in Koschei the Deathless?”
“His son, yeah.”
“Rina’s cousin then, but he . . . Why . . . What would someone like him even want with me?”
Gunnar set his hands on both her shoulders. “Who gives a shit? He’s not taking you. Got it sorted with Rina already. That’s where I went.”
“But you’re worried,” she accused. “You sent me to E.”
“Because I didn’t know what was going on.”
“E has never had a conversation that long with anyone since we’ve been here.” Audrey poked him in the chest. “And E never worries about anything.”
Gunnar shrugged. “Dimitri would be a fucking idiot to pick a fight over this, especially when he has no proof you’re not contracted already.”
“But I’m not.” She swallowed a few times, her voice pitching higher. “You’re both worried he’s going to take me. Why are you lying about it?”
“Hey, I’m not lying about anything. This is Rina’s turf as an Independent. Dominion doesn’t mean shit here, and he knows it. I don’t think he’s going to grab you, Audrey.”
“Then what are you worried about?”
He was more worried about the vilebloods, but they hadn’t even gotten to that part yet. “He might harass you, try to bully you into going with him.” Or nobility like him might give her the offer of a lifetime, not that he believed Audrey would ever sell herself like that. His frown deepened at the thought. “Dimitri’s not the only shit going on today. Come on, you’re gonna freeze.”
She rolled her eyes but followed him as he started walking again, agitation in his stride. She jogged up to his side, and he forced himself to slow down for her shorter legs.
After a few minutes, she mumbled, “Train days used to be just fun.”
He snorted. “For you maybe. I’ve always hated them.”
“What else happened?”
Gunner exhaled with a growl. “Two vileblood came in. They got word about me being here, came looking for a place to live.”
“Oh.” Audrey hesitated, then said, “And that’s bad?”
“Of course it’s bad. Why the hell wouldn’t it be?”
“Are they criminals?”
Oh, how he hated that prim and proper tone of hers, convinced she was in the right before they’d even started talking. It might have helped him get out of prison, but right now . . .
When he didn’t answer, she prodded. “Well, are they?”
“They claim they aren’t.”
“Did they smell like lies?”
Gunnar sneered at the horizon line instead of her, fists clenching and unclenching at his side because he knew exactly where this was going. “No,” he ground out, his jaw aching from the effort.
“Then how is this a bad thing? Rina wanted more hands for this winter season, but nothing turned up before the freeze. The newcomers could help.”
“They’re vilebloods, Audrey. You really need a reminder of what that means, you of all people? They’d spent their whole lives in prison. They’re killers.”
“Because of their imprisonment?”
Their cabin appeared on the horizon, Gunnar desperate to get her shoved safely inside and get away from this fucking conversation. “According to them.”
“And when they told you this, they were telling the truth, as far as you can tell. With your incredibly accurate senses.”
“Audrey, you—”
“Worked very hard to change the Vilestars Accord.” She talked over him when he tried to interject. “And changing the Accord changed it for everyone with vileblood. This shouldn’t come as a shock.”
“And they just happened to hear about me living here?” He kicked their door open, not bothering to take off his boots or furs. “Get whatever shit you want for Lyubava’s. You’re heading over.”
She paused in the middle of taking off her jacket. “Why? Where are you going?”
“Rina wants me to vet the vilebloods.”
“Jonathan . . .”
“What?”
“They deserve a chance, especially if they’ve been incarcerated since they were children, like you were.”
“That chance doesn’t have to be here.”
“And why not?”
“Because we don’t know fuck all about them, that’s fucking why. They’re dangerous.” He held up a hand when she protested. “I’m dangerous. We all are. You know that, whatever else you think is right and fair aside.”
“Rina gave you a chance,” Audrey protested. “How should it be any different for them?”
Gunnar laughed, the bitter sound barking out of him. “She didn’t give me shit. Theo bought our way in, promising Rina a future favor for letting us stay.”
“That . . . he wouldn’t . . .” Audrey’s cheeks flushed; he normally liked when she blushed—something sweet about it—but this was blotchy and red with anger.
“He sure did,” Gunnar drawled. “Rina told me today, wouldn’t have let me stay otherwise, would have told us to fuck right off. Because she knows the risks.”
Audrey lifted her chin. “What changed then? Theo isn’t granting favors for them, so what’s different?”
He scowled at her. “I’m stuck fucking babysitting, that’s what. She seems to think since I’ve played nice, it’s worth rolling the dice.”
“Played nice?” Audrey laughed. “Jonathan, you’re one of the best hunters in Nizhny. You’ve made yourself indispensable to this community.”
“Bullshit,” he shot back. “You did that, not me. They tolerate me because all the monsters like having someone around who’s not treating them like garbage for two seconds of their lives.”
“That’s not true.”
“You act like you don’t do shit, but you do. Everything you do adds value to this place.” He smirked. “And to me. They’d have gotten sick of me a long ass time ago.”
“Don’t do that,” Audrey said, pointing a finger in his face, trying to intimidate him. It would have been funny if he wasn’t so pissed about the entire conversation. “Stop talking about yourself like you’re nothing. You know I hate it when you do that.”
“Sure, I’m good at killing. And having a brothel down the street keeps the beast in my blood from getting out, for scratching that itch. That doesn’t mean something inside me couldn’t break or snap.”
She rolled her eyes. “You’re not a werewolf.”
“What the hells does that mean?”
“You talk about your vileblood like it’s some separate part of you. It’s not, Jonathan. You have powerful urges.” She blushed, hurrying on as she waved her arms. “So what? There’s no rule book for anything that’s happened since the Aperien event. Every duster is a new person with new powers and needs and struggles, with no preexisting mythos to define or guide them. That doesn’t mean you’re a monster just because of your blood. You’ve proven that repeatedly in your life, yet you still see yourself as nothing but your blood.”
“There any other dusters they made a fucking international magically binding Accord over?
“The Accord was wrong.”
“Yeah? If everything is perfect now, why are these two vileblood starving and running?”
She threw her hands up. “All the more reason they deserve a chance! To prove they’re more than their blood, just like you have!”
“There isn’t good in everyone, Audrey. Not everyone can or deserves to be redeemed.”
“Are you talking about yourself now?” she snapped, hands on her hips. “Are you not redeemed? Was I wrong to see good in you? In the man who saved me from being raped and killed in that dirty alley?” Her eyes shone. He could smell her tears; he hated when she cried, especially for him, or worse, because of him. “Why is it so hard for you to see yourself the way I see you?”
He tapped his temple, bared his teeth at her. “Because you’re not in here. You don’t know all of me.”
“That’s your choice, not mine,” she bit back.
He laughed at that; yeah, not gonna happen. She wasn’t getting anywhere near the dark corners of his mind. The darker corners of him. How he got off on killing, how much he liked it, how much he needed it. How much he needed to fuck too, and how sometimes, when he looked at her . . .
He shook the thoughts away. “I’ve got to get back, and I’m not leaving you here alone with a human slaver and two vilebloods loose in town. You’re not safe.”
Audrey crossed her arms, more to hug herself than posture. “I will because you’re worried, not because you think you can order me around.” She stalked into the kitchen, packing her bag louder than necessary.
Gunnar leaned against the doorframe, trying to maintain a calm exterior. Inside, he roiled, annoyed as hells at her continued insistence at helping when it put her in danger. Two more vilebloods living in Nizhny was a risk. And what made him more furious was the guilt she’d carry, as if it was her fucking fault if they didn’t get to stay here. As if the entire world’s problems belonged on her tiny shoulders.
Audrey walked back over after a few minutes, not looking at him. “I’m ready.”
He sighed, motioned for her to lead the way. They strode back into the cold, the path to the chuchuna cave well marked. The icy snow crunched under their feet, the silence otherwise heavy between them. Didn’t take long for Audrey to crack, and he grinned when she spoke first; she hated silence, especially when she had something to say.
“All I ask is you give them a fair assessment,” she said. “I trust you, and I trust your judgement. If you think they’re a poor fit for the town, then of course they should leave.” She glanced at him, then away. “But don’t send them away just because you’re worried about me.”
He snorted. “And why not?”
“Because you thought everyone was dangerous when we first came here. You didn’t want me talking to the harpy, you didn’t think I should go near the wolf pack, and you warned me off the Clan too. And E. And Virtue. And Innocence.”
“I’ll warn you away from Innocence every day of the fucking week,” he growled. He’d made it clear to both Virtue and Innocence they weren’t to touch Audrey, let alone feed off her. The thought of them . . . with her . . . “I stand by that.”
“He’s been nothing but extremely polite to me, Jonathan.”
“That’s because he’d probably die if I cut his nuts off.”
Audrey let out a choked laugh, trying to glare at him, but she was blushing too much. She cleared her throat. “My point is, while I appreciate your concern, and I understand you worry about me because I’m just human, that doesn’t mean you need to cast these two vilebloods away for my sake.”
“You’re not just anything,” he muttered. Realizing she’d never let this drop, he added, “I’ll give them a fair shake. But if they start any shit, believe me when I say I will finish it.”
This time, her expression was amused. “You should put that on a shirt.” She held her mitten-covered hands out wide, punctuating the air. “‘He who finishes all shit that starts.’”
“On a shirt?” He quirked a brow at her, and she laughed. He liked the sound, liked how she relaxed now under the trust she had in him. Much better than her being pissed at him, that was for sure.
“Yes, it’s a thing. Or it was, with human clothing. All sorts of stuff printed on cloth. Pictures and words and sayings. I bet you could buy shirts in this station, like souvenirs, when people came to visit.”
“Who the fuck would come visit here?”
She laughed again and shrugged, and they settled into a comfortable silence as they approached the chuchuna cave. Zhadan poked his head out, sniffed the air a few times, then waved when he saw it was them before ducking back inside.
“Jonathan?”
“Hmm?”
She’d stopped walking, so he did too and turned, surprised to find her twisting her fingers and not looking in his direction. “What did you mean when you told Dimitri I was yours?”
You are mine nearly left his mouth, and he swallowed a few times to contain the words.
She wasn’t his. He didn’t have any claim on her. He owed her, not the other way around. And he sure as shit didn’t have any rights to own her, contract her, any of the shit they did in the Dominion, and he wouldn’t want that anyway.
It didn’t change the fact that saying she was his in front of that bastard had been natural as breathing. Even now, his blood rolled at the thought, the single word: Mine. He shivered, trying to shrug away the feeling, how it coiled tightly in his chest and made his lungs ache. Didn’t matter, none of it. He didn’t deserve to breathe the same air, let alone pretend she could ever belong to him. Lucky she considered him a friend, which still baffled him.
And here she stood, hazel eyes looking into him, her scent nervous.
Right, him saying that made her nervous. Fuck.
Gunnar ran a hand through his hair. “He can’t prove there’s no paperwork behind it. Figured it was the fastest way to get him to leave you alone. Rina backed me up, so it should be enough.”
“Right, of course.” The words rushed out of her with a held breath, her shoulders slumping. Her scent became a wild mix of embarrassment, frustration, and fatigue. She gave him a half smile, then averted her gaze. “I’ll see you later.”
“Yeah,” he said, for lack of anything better, not sure why she seemed almost sad. She shouldn’t worry over these strangers. Gunnar grumbled as he headed back to the station, hoping the two vilebloods would make things easy for him.