Chapter 9
NINE
VIC
It took three long, solitary days to drive to New Hampshire.
Three days of endless nights thinking about Dani and a growing anticipation of a dream I had wished to come true for so long.
On the final night, as I neared my destination, I booked a hotel, knowing I desperately needed rest. I craved a long shower to wash away the incessant worries that have been running endless circles through my mind.
Stepping outside afterward, I finally took in the scenery around me.
I hadn’t realized how rural this area was, or how beautiful the mountains looked, cloaked in mist, so unlike the flat, sun-soaked plains of Texas.
It is truly something special to behold, and for a moment, it made my thoughts a little less heavy.
I found myself grateful for the foresight to rest because the roads are narrow and winding.
If you're not cautious, in one careless moment, you could find your car crumpled against a granite boulder or a moose.
When I arrived on campus, I looked around and noticed how the ivy clung to the school's exposed brick.
Everything here seems remarkably old, and the school's history dates back to the 1700s.
After I collect my housing assignment and schedule, I make my way to the weathered dorm along the creaking stairs to the second floor that houses my room.
When I open the door and step in, I notice another person already occupying half.
With nothing left to decide, I place my belongings on the only other remaining bed, where I will live for the remainder of the year and the spring semester.
I heard another student in line at the bookstore complaining about the overcrowded quads, so this is a special treat.
I pull up my schedule, excited to see how full it is.
I can only hope it keeps my mind off the other half of my heart still with her, miles away.
A couple of months have passed in a blur of constant assignments and school activities, and I’ve settled in nicely, on the surface.
I’ve spoken to Dani, but not as often as I’d have hoped.
She seems to be constantly working or otherwise occupied.
I am starting to become concerned that she is pushing herself too hard.
Her messages are brief and clipped. Without the opportunity to have a decent conversation, I don’t know how to approach the pending sense of doom I feel.
I plan on surprising her before Halloween.
It’s our favorite holiday, and I miss her so much that being away from her this season feels almost cruel.
Here, the leaves have turned a majestic shade of crimson, amber, and aubergine, transforming New England into something otherworldly.
The cobblestone streets evoke nostalgic memories of a time long ago, with carriages and headless horsemen from the novels I frequently read.
I almost expect to see such a scenario because the fall weather elicits these tales of witches and warlocks.
The brisk air brings out all kinds of people walking down the pavement in trench coats, hats, and even the occasional gloves, depending on the drop in temperature.
I find myself colder than most, but that's no surprise, having come from a warmer climate, but the air here is so clean and crisp that I can’t help but enjoy the scenery.
The streets smell of wood smoke, crisp apples, and something earthy.
Last weekend, I joined a few classmates for apple picking at a local orchard.
We feasted on warm cider donuts and dark, spiced cider with a higher alcohol content than I expected.
Still, through it all, I couldn’t shake thoughts of Dani and what she’s doing at this moment, especially when I returned to my dorm alone with just my memories to hold onto.
I miss her more than I can say, and I long for the day she’ll come and visit.
Any alone time with her would be worth it, no matter how brief.
Maybe I can show her the sights here and remind her of what she's missing. She is always working, and I hope I can convince her to take a much-needed break from it all. I’d like to spend the time showing her around, not to mention I missed my girl and plan on spending a large portion of that time between her legs, too, reminding her of how her body bends to mine and how we fit together so perfectly.
The last session of classes ends for the day right at noon.
One thing about New England is that, during the fall and winter months, we lose daylight sooner, and it isn’t uncommon for it to be dark by five p.m. I rush back to my room to pick up one more item.
I open the dresser and remove the little velvet box, placing it in the side pocket and securing it there.
Some of my friends are going into Boston to celebrate the Halloween festivities, so I arranged to catch a ride with them.
Without needing anything further, I meet up with them, heading into Boston early before rush hour hits.
This gives me plenty of time to catch my flight and for them to enjoy some Halloween festivities in the city.
I’ve already purchased a ticket, so they'll drop me off at Logan. I tried calling Dani again today, but as usual, she didn’t answer.
And yet I can’t shake this feeling. Something deep inside me senses the secrets she’s hiding, leaving me alone in the dark, guessing at what they could be.
I hope that I’m wrong, but every time we talk, a quiet tension lingers.
I bridge the space between us with stories about my classmates, only to wonder if I’m making it worse by reminding her of what she's missing. It’s the crushing realization that she didn’t get in.
I wish more than anything that she were here, sharing this new adventure with me and creating new memories together.
I almost need her to say something else, anything to fill the silence, so I don’t feel like I’m the one making her sad by being here without her.
Doesn’t she understand that without her, the days are something I endure rather than live?
I want her here with me, at my school, close enough to grasp something real instead of clinging to the tormenting memory of her last caress.
So I hold onto it, keep it close, and do everything I can to let her know she’s constantly on my mind.
I try to stay close to her however I can, but my attempts to stay connected are far from thought out.
Like when we tried to have phone sex. Yeah, that didn’t go so well.
My roommate's girlfriend walked into our dorm room with a friend right in the middle of it.
It was painfully awkward, and by the time they finally left, after trying to drag me to their party they were going to, Dani was silent on the other end of the line—cold and almost entirely detached.
There was nothing I could do to fix that phone call, so we hung up, and I felt like everything I had was slipping through my fingers.
I wish she could see that no one will ever compare to her. She just has to trust me when I say she is the only one for me, because every thought, every beat of my heart, belongs to her alone.
I can’t bear the distance any longer. Words are no longer enough.
I have to prove to her, make her see how much she means to me, and the only way to do that is in person.
I need to show her how deeply I miss her, and remind her of how well we work together—how we still belong to each other.
And I intend to spend the night, and all weekend, proving just how undeniably true that still is.