40. Matilda
40
MATILDA
I round the corner, and the green shimmering around me turns red. I stop when I see Luc standing nearby with another Matilda, naked and definitely coming on to him. I freeze, my heart pounding as I take in the scene before me.
The other Matilda presses herself against Luc, running her hands over his chest. “Take what you want, Luc,” she purrs in my voice. “You know you crave it. Crave me.”
Luc clenches his jaw, his hands balled into fists at his sides. I can see the conflict raging in his eyes, desire warring with something deeper.
“No,” he growls, his voice rough. “This isn’t real. You’re not her.”
The other me laughs, the sound cruel and mocking. “Does it matter? I’m offering you everything you’ve wanted. Take it. Prove what kind of monster you really are.”
I want to scream, to run to Luc and pull him away from this twisted version of myself. But something holds me back. He is still fighting his demons, and I’ve stumbled upon it. For a reason, obviously, but whatever that is, I don’t know yet. I can’t interfere. I don’t even know if he can see me.
“You don’t fucking get it,” he snarls. “I don’t want to take. I want her to choose me. For once, I want to be chosen. I want her to want me without the powers, without the seduction, without the pretty words.”
The other Matilda recoils slightly, her seductive smile faltering. “You’re lying. Demons don’t want to be chosen. They take. They corrupt. It’s what you are.”
“No,” Luc says, and there’s a certainty in his voice that takes my breath away. “It’s what you think I am. What everyone thinks I am. The big bad demon, right? Just waiting to corrupt the innocent witch? I know that’s why Draven doesn’t want me to have her. He thinks I’m going to use her and dispose of her.”
I gulp at those words.
Luc steps back, creating distance between himself and my naked other.“But here’s what you don’t understand. I’ve had countless opportunities to seduce her, to take what I want. I could have used my powers, played on her vulnerability, manipulated her like I’ve done to others.”
“Then why haven’t you?” the other me demands.
“Because she deserves better than that,” Luc says simply. “Because I want to be better than that. For her.”
I press a hand to my mouth, fighting back tears as I watch him face down his own darkness.
“You can’t fight your nature forever,” the fake Matilda taunts, but her voice sounds less certain now.
“Watch me,” Luc growls. “You have no idea what I’m capable of.”
The chamber shimmers with red light, and suddenly, the false version of me fades, her form becoming translucent.
“Your trial isn’t over,” she warns, her voice echoing. “The real test is yet to come.”
“Bring it,” Luc says, his voice steady. “I’m done letting others define who I am.”
The shadows coalesce into a scene. Luc and me, tangled together in passion. But something’s wrong. As Luc claims me, darkness spreads from where our skin touches, like ink in water. I arch in pleasure, but with each touch, each kiss, my light dims. My power, my essence, my soul is stripped away.
“This is what happens,” a creepy voice echoes around me, making me jump. “This is your curse, Luc, spawn of the Devil. To corrupt through pleasure. To feed on souls through desire.”
Luc’s face, the real one, is a mask of anguish as he watches. “Stop.”
“Every touch,” the voice continues, “every kiss, every moment of passion, you drain her. Not because you choose to, but because it’s what you are. What you’ll always be.”
“No,” I scream, but he doesn’t hear me. I can only watch as Luc falls to his knees.
“Now you understand,” the voice says. “Why you can never have her. Why every moment of restraint has been necessary. Your love doesn’t save her, it damns her.”
“I know,” Luc whispers, his voice breaking. “I know. These walls are up because I can’t love or be loved and show that love. I am cursed with never being able to touch her the way I want to.”
“Shit,” I mutter as tears sprout in my eyes. “Fuck.”
I feel a presence at my side.
Draven.
He is staring at his half-brother, understanding and sorrow etched into his serious expression.
“This is your true trial,” the voice declares. “Not resisting temptation, but accepting that you must resist forever. That love, for you, can never be consummated.”
I fight against whatever force holds me silent, desperate to reach him, to tell him it doesn’t matter, that we’ll find a way. But I can’t move, can’t speak, can only watch as Luc faces this devastating truth.
“There has to be a way,” Luc says, his voice hoarse. “Some loophole, some?—”
“There is no loophole for what you are,” the voice cuts in. “Every Incubus feeds on souls through sexual energy. It is your nature, your curse. The more passion, the more love involved, the more completely you will drain her.”
“So this is my trial?” Luc laughs bitterly. “To accept that I can never have her? That I have to push her away to save her?”
“Yes.”
“Fuck that,” he snarls, standing. “There’s always a choice. Always another way.”
“Not for this. You’ve seen what happens with others, with the humans whose souls you’ve claimed through seduction. But with her? A witch of her power? The drain would be complete, irreversible. You would destroy everything that makes her who she is and damn her to Hell to be recycled, and she will never even remember you.”
I struggle harder against the force holding me, tears streaming down my face. The pain in Luc’s expression is unbearable.
“Then I’ll never touch her,” he says quietly. “I’ll leave, stay away?—”
“And watch your brother have her instead? Watch her give everything to him that you can never have?”
Luc’s hands clench into fists. “If that’s what it takes to keep her safe. To keep her soul intact.”
“Luc,” I manage to say, my voice breaking.
He whirls around, eyes widening when he realises I’m here. “How much did you see?”
“Everything,” I whisper. “I saw everything.”
His face hardens. “Then you understand why I have to stay away from you. Why I can’t?—”
“No!” The word bursts from me with such force that the chamber trembles. “There has to be another way.”
“Matilda, don’t,” Luc warns, backing away from me. “You saw what happens. Every time, every way, I destroy you.”
“I don’t care!”
“Well, I do!” he roars, his eyes flashing red. “I won’t be the thing that extinguishes your light. I won’t be the monster that steals your soul.”
“This is your trial,” the voice says softly. “To love enough to let go. To want her enough to never have her.”
“That’s bullshit,” I snap, but Luc just shakes his head.
“No, my sweet witch. It’s the truth. Every touch, every kiss, I would be feeding on your soul. Not because I want to, but because it’s what I am.” His voice breaks. “And I can’t... I won’t do that to you.”
“This is bullshit!” Draven snarls. “Luc, snap out of it, for fuck’s sake. It’s you who is guiding it this way.”
“No, Dray. It’s true. I’ve known it all along.”
“Like fuck,” he snaps and grabs my hand. He pulls me closer to Luc. “You can’t drain her soul if I’m here to protect it.”
Luc’s eyes snap to Draven’s as my mouth drops open.
“What?” I stammer. “What do you mean?”
Vex joins us with an interested stare. “He is offering to take the hit for you, sprinkles.”
“Every time?” I mutter.
“Every fucking time,” Draven grits out.
“No,” I say, shaking my head. “This is insanity. How did we even get here?”
“Fuck knows, but my trial wasn’t as fucked up as this,” Draven states.
Suddenly, I step back as the reality dawns on me. “Those weren’t trials. They were paths to get us to this place. This decision. This moment.”
“So what do we do?” Vex asks, his gaze boring into mine.
“We fight.”