Chapter 43
"Your things are downstairs. We can have them moved to a warehouse until we find a bigger place," Jagger suggested. I rolled my eyes; by the time they were ready to move, I hoped to afford a lifestyle all my own. It felt far off, though.
Jagger hugged me from behind, pressing a kiss to my cheek. She licked her lips, clearing away the makeup, only to kiss the same spot again. Her hand drifted up under Wade's shirt that I was wearing, her fingers lightly tracing over my skin.
"I'll be long gone by then," I said, reapplying my foundation where she'd kissed. Her lips stayed at my neck, warm against the marks she'd left.
"You're not going anywhere. You're ours. Looked like you were having fun," she murmured, brushing her lips over the hickeys.
"It was just a distraction. These past weeks have been chaotic."
"Glad we could be a distraction for you," she replied, smirking.
"And aren't I a distraction for you?" I asked, applying a dark shade of lipstick that would make my lips pop in the dim club lighting.
"A distraction?"
"You know—when you see me in the club after a long day. Am I not a distraction for you then?"
"No, I see you as someone important, just like everything else in my life."
"Really?" I murmured, forgetting that I wasn't supposed to enjoy her touch. Why had her touch softened? Somehow, she even felt warm. I wondered if she'd always been this way.
"You don't need to work. We've got you," she whispered.
"I like working for what I have. It's how I stay among my own kind."
She pulled me gently closer, her lips near my ear. "You don't need your kind when we're in love with you."
"I'd rather be with my own kind."
"You know we won't stop until you're ours, right?"
"One day, you'll give up," I replied with a sly grin. "You'll find prettier girls."
Her hands softly caressed me, and I couldn't understand why I let her so close. I tried not to melt against her, tried not to let her take me right here and now.
"You were telling me about this warehouse?" I asked, attempting to distract myself from her touch.
"It's just until we move. We'll be a family soon, you know."
Our eyes met. It would be wonderful to have a family one day, but with Jagger and Wade, that felt impossible. They had plans for something they must know wouldn't happen.
If my best friend of so many years could abandon me so easily, why should I trust two vampires who knew nothing about me? I didn't even fit the beauty standards of either humans or vampires.
"You're moving?" I asked, giving in to her touch as I leaned into her.
"It's in the plan now that we've met you."
"You shouldn't be moving because of me." I reached for a brush, working through the tangles in my hair from all the rolling around.
"We're not moving just because of you. We're moving to accommodate our family."
I looked at her reflection in the mirror. I needed to meet her gaze each time she spoke, to see if there was truth in her words. It was hard to tell, though; they seemed to be speaking in terms I couldn't quite trust.
I shook my head with a smile. "You and Wade have a plan? Don't include me. I have my own plans."
"It would be wicked of us not to include you when half the plan revolves around you." As I continued brushing, pulling at my hair, I was starting to realize that Kem had left me to struggle alone. Now, I couldn't just go my own way or ignore Wade and Jagger's ideas. I needed to stay. I needed this.
"I literally saw you and Wade with two other girls. Look, I don't care. I don't want anything serious, and I have no problem messing around with the two of you. But maybe you and Wade should take those girls seriously."
Jagger's jaw tightened, her expression growing tense—it was the first time I'd seen her look regretful.
She sighed and pressed a kiss to my temple. "Those two girls... one is my sister. The other isn't really a sister to Wade or me, but we all grew up together."
"Well, it didn't look like a sibling thing between the four of you. And I'm not jealous," I said.
"I didn't say you were, snow bunny. I promise, there's no one else but you."
"I don't care. We're not together," I retorted, throwing my hair into two quick braids, then wrapping and pinning them up.
She tightened her arms around me. "We are together."
I rolled my eyes. "I have work."
"Stay home with us... be our little performer."
"No."
"Come on."
"Drop it, Jagger. You're just feeling sorry for me." Her expression softened, and I hated it, looking down to avoid her gaze.
"Snow bunny, we never wanted you to feel like that."
"Well, that's how it feels. Stop suffocating me with the good will. I'm not used to it, and I don't like it. I like earning what I have."
"We met you, and we just want to give you everything you want."
I wished I could be like Kem and just accept someone's 'love,' but I couldn't. So many people would be happy in a situation like this—two beautiful women falling for them, double the love and privileges. And here I was, resisting it all.
I sighed, realizing I'd made her feel bad. They were only trying to help. Maybe I could accept a little.
"I want to work, but I have no problem staying here while you provide for me. Just nothing more—no gifts, no unnecessary spending," I pleaded.
She pulled me closer. "You deserve luxury."
"I don't. I'm not used to it, and I don't think I want it. I just want to make a little money and save for that..." I let out a troubled sigh. It wasn't Kem and me anymore.
"Could I have some space?" The words trembled on my lips as the realization hit me. I doubted that having sex would help.
"Is everything—"
"It's fine; I just need time to think," I interrupted.
Her hands were slowly slipping beneath my clothes, and I felt a sense of swirling loss from it. I quickly grabbed her hand. "Let it stay," I whispered, letting out another sigh. "You can stay here."
"I'll have Wade let the movers bring your—"
"I just need a few minutes of complete silence." And to feel your touch on my body. The thought that I might not be able to handle this on my own made me break down in her arms. All I really wanted was that embrace. I fucking hated Kem.
"I'm here, Snow—"
"Shut up!" I croaked. She slowly lifted me off the floor and carried us to the bed. I could feel her lips pressing against my temple in a comforting manner. I felt stuck. The whole plan was slowly falling apart, and only a small part of me was hanging on.