Chapter 9
CHAPTER NINE
ALINA
Istretched my legs out on the bed, focusing on the delicate ruffles on the edge of my snow-white, knitted socks.
I moved my toes, careful to keep a dazed expression on my face.
In reality I was watching Sally, every move she made.
It was curious how things had changed, how she had become the most important person in my life.
It was crucial to get our morning ritual absolutely right.
She was supposed to give me my medicine at lunchtime, and from what I knew about her, she would come every morning to help tidy up and prepare my garments for the day.
But she seemed eager to get it over with.
Instead of coming in three or more times a day, she started bringing the whitebane with breakfast. While I supposedly took the elixir and ate, she was often busy in the closet or changing the sheets.
I had to rely on her not paying any attention to me.
The mere thought of something going wrong terrified me, so I waited for her to leave the room before dumping the whitebane into the large potted plant, then quickly returned to my bed.
My hands were trembling when I picked up the toast and buttered it.
“Milady, what do you think about walking in the gardens today?” Sally returned with a fresh set of sheets.
“I don’t know if I can,” I whispered with a sigh.
“Milady, you look so much better. I think the medicine is finally helping you.”
I leaned back on the pillows and closed my eyes.
“Alright, I will let you rest,” She easily gave up and left the room.
I immediately sat up and added a generous amount of jam, and picked up a cup of freshly brewed black mint tea. Before placing it to my lips, I inhaled the deep, aromatic scent, trying to detect any signs of herbs that could have been added to my drink.
Since the fog had cleared a little more, I realized that I was deliberately kept sedated and I did not believe that what they gave me was whitebane. I was not sure if they really wanted to poison me, but they wanted me to be weak. That was absolutely obvious.
Beside feeling stronger and regaining my appetite, I started to remember some fragments that did nothing to explain things, but only served to puzzle me further.
One night, I had a dream about a village tucked in the mountains and coated in a thick fog. I was admiring the tender petals of wild flowers and felt that I was with someone I was deeply connected to.
The feeling was persistent, nagging. I needed to know who that person was. But there was no way to know if I had ever felt that way about someone, or if it was only a dream.
In my dream there was a girl with two thick, blond braids, giving me a wide grin and then I saw Kent.
He showed up in a lot of my dreams. In one he was resting with his elbows on a table, looking off into the distance with a sharp, determined look in his eyes.
Another vision was of me and him together.
His arms wrapped around me, as we sat by a bonfire.
My head rested against his shoulder, his fingers gently caressing the palm of my hand.
The chilly night air clashed against the warm wave coming from the flame, myriads of stars shined above, and a feeling of absolute euphoria that came from being with him.
“Gods!” I whispered, closing my eyes.
I took a sip of my tea, trying to make the echoes of my visions go away. My situation was complicated enough, and I had to stay focused if I wanted to figure out what to do about all of it. I either had to accept a husband, or I had to find a way to get out of the palace. I just did not know how.
All those intrusive thoughts never got me anywhere. Instead, the effort only resulted in a dull headache that throbbed behind my eyes.
I bit my lip, flipping the covers off to fetch the book that Kent gave me.
The leather was heavily worn and somehow it told me that it was well loved and appreciated.
I had finished reading it a few days ago, but I kept returning to different passages and enjoying them all over again.
It was a story about two spirits of good and evil who came to the world of humans to guide them, but for some unknown reason, they got switched.
The child of all that was good, went to the underground kingdom while the child of all that was evil was announced as the heir to the human king.
Years passed and a new, unknown force threatened to destroy both worlds.
The two spirits had to find each other to stand together preserving the balance of good and evil.
It was such an unusual story. I would have never guessed that someone like my guard would enjoy such light and entertaining prose. In my mind, Kent seemed more suited to reading dry, military history.
I bit my lip, closing the book. There, I did it again. My thoughts returned to him almost every other moment. What was it about him? Why couldn’t I get him out of my head?
I got up and made my way to the window. The same old silhouettes of the brick walls and crimson red rooftops greeted me.
I watched the sun make its way through the sky, and hated every moment of not belonging to myself.
I spent so much time in this room, trapped, that it started feeling like I was imprisoned, caged.
All the luxury that surrounded me mocked my situation.
It was suffocating. I wanted to get out.
I wanted to fly above the lines of the rocky mountains, through the endless valleys.
I wanted to pierce the clouds and dive down, close to the ground.
Experience told me that Sally would be back in a couple of hours, and I could ask her to take me for a walk, but at the same time, I did not want her to know that I was feeling stronger. I did not trust the person who had been giving me poison for so long.
Suddenly, the impulse of doing something, doing anything, became stronger and I moved almost against my will to the closet.
Removing my thin, lacy robe, I threw it to the floor, and found a modest black dress.
I did not even know what the weather would be like since I had not been outside for so long.
My fingers trembled as I buttoned the top of my dress.
I glanced at the massive floor mirror and without giving myself any time to think better of it, approached the door.
My heart was racing as I stood quietly by the entrance, another step closer and I pressed my forehead to the wooden panel, anticipating seeing him.
As soon as I dared to formulate the thought, my eyes opened wide.
I want to see my guard. I need to see him.
With that, I turned the handle and opened the door just a crack.
Almost immediately I spotted Kent on the other side of the corridor.
He was lounging in a chair with his legs stretched out in front of him.
Strands of his wavy, chestnut brown hair fell to his cheek.
He did not see me staring at him, and for a moment, I wanted to turn back to the room.
Slowly, as if feeling my presence, he raised his head and our eyes locked.
Kent closed his book and got up while I stood rooted to my spot. I was confused, and embarrassed, although I did not know why. At last, summoning all of my courage, I opened the door wider and met his gaze.
“Milady.” Was all he said.
The softness of his low voice made treacherous shivers run down my spine, bringing the feeling that we were not just strangers, we were connected in some other way.
I bit my lip, trying hard to formulate what I was doing and why I was spying on him, but I could not. I looked like a fool, but I could not think of a single thing to say.
He stepped closer, but stopped just inches away from the threshold. Carefully, his hand landed on the edge of the wooden panel. He said nothing, but the umber of his eyes turned almost fluid, and for a moment, I was mesmerized by the specks of gold and the dark rims of his irises.
“How do you feel?” he asked.
"I . . . I'm good."
"Do you need anything?"
"No. I was . . . never mind, it's silly."
“Tell me.”
“I wanted to get out. I know they don’t really want me to.”
His eyes took in my hair, the dress I was wearing, and returned to my face.
Not saying anything else, he opened the door wider and extended his hand, offering it to me.
My body moved almost instinctively; our hands met, and all the things I wanted to say disappeared.
All my senses concentrated on the warmth of his skin, and how good it felt; how miserable I was just minutes ago, and how happy I was now.
He pulled me closer, and I stepped out into the brightly lit corridor.
Tentatively, I raised my eyes, realizing that he was still watching me.
“Don’t . . . look at me . . . please.”
With a light sigh, he placed my hand on his arm and we started walking. Something about all of this was strangely familiar, as if we had done this before.
We descended the numerous sets of stairs and entered a gallery I have never seen before.
“Where are we going?”
“There’s a separate way to enter the gardens.”
I bit my lip, enjoying his closeness, enjoying his voice, the feel of his arm under my hand.
“Do you like it here?”
“In the palace? No.” he said simply.
“I was just thinking that I know almost nothing about you.”
He was silent for a long moment.
“Is there something you would like to know?”
“What’s your favorite color?”
He chuckled, and if I had thought he was mesmerizing before, the sound of his laugh and the warmth in his bright, brown eyes completely wiped out the last coherent thought I had.
“Did . . . I say something wrong?”
“Sorry. I just remembered something.”