Chapter 11
CHAPTER ELEVEN
ALINA
Idreamed about quiet, melancholic days in the partially lit, always drafty castle that was moist in the summer, and chilly during the cooler months.
My days were filled with never ending obligations, and my nights were spent in quiet solitude.
I was unhappy all the time, I felt restless and low-spirited.
I saw myself crying by the fireplace in my room.
Then, out of nowhere, a young man with light blond hair and blue eyes came into my dream.
His skin was darkened by the sun, and he had a lazy smile that altered his features.
I woke up in tears that morning. My past was slowly coming back to me, but clarity also brought emotions I did not expect.
Through all the visions and echoes of various memories, I knew that he was somehow important, and that he was long gone.
I was desperate to know more, and I was angry that I was forced to be content with my confinement.
After a while, I made myself get up and rinsed my face with cold water, braided my hair and picked out a dress.
As my thoughts quieted down, I thought about my position in the palace, and a new anxiety nearly crushed me.
Who could I trust?
Almost against my will, my thoughts returned to the man with dark, unruly hair and skin the color of wild honey.
It had been two days after the incident in the library, and I still could not forget how poorly it went.
I behaved like a low woman, and Kent just rejected me.
He understood me perfectly, I was sure of it, but he did not make any moves.
I sat up on my bed and straighten the folds of my peach-colored muslin skirt.
No matter how long I thought about it, I could not figure him out.
My mind took me back to the gardens.
‘Because you’re mine.’
He said that . . . about me. I did not dream it. He said we belonged together and that he was there because of me.
But why, when I wanted him to hold me in his arms, to touch me, he never crossed the distance between us?
The way my thoughts returned to that scene in the gardens made my heart race like mad. I imagined how it would feel to have his hands on my cheeks, stroking my hair, his lips on mine.
I pressed the book to my forehead.
“Good morning, milady!” Sally entered the room.
“Good morning.” I leaned back on the pillows.
“The medicine’s finally working. You look so much better, milady.” She placed the tall crystal glass on the side table.
I looked at the gritty liquid a moment longer than I should have.
“The little theater will soon be opening for the season,” she continued.
“The little theater?”
“Yes, it’s going to be amazing. And you are expected to attend. It will be a great opportunity, milady, for the general public to see you. All of the servants are so excited. Oh, and a new gown is coming sometime today. It will be reserved for a very special occasion”
Sally continued talking, evidently excited about the performance.
“What’s the play about?” I asked.
“Milady?”
“What are we going to see?”
“I don’t remember the details, but it’s going to be amazing!”
“I know it sounds odd, but I can’t recall if I have ever been to the little theater?” I glanced up at her.
“No, milady. You arrived in the palace at the beginning of the spring.”
“I see.”
My chest was burning. I longed to ask her more questions, but it would not be wise. Even asking as much as I already had was not smart, but I couldn't help it.
Sally continued to tidy the room, changing the water in multiple vases and removing the plate of leftovers after my late night dinner.
As soon as she left, I emptied my glass into the flower pot and placed it back on the side table.
Was he still stationed outside?
I forced myself to stay in bed and opened my book.
Thirty minutes later, Sally returned, an exquisite gown draped across her outstretched arms.
“Take a look at this, milady. The fabric sparkles!”
I extended my neck and my fingers moved to brush the delicate stitching of the top.
“It’s beautiful,” I whispered.
“You’re going to make all of them fall in love with you all over again.”
The lilac silk held its shape at the bottom, while the top of the dress was adorned with gemstones that shimmered in the sunlight, reflecting a rainbow of colors on the walls.
I still could not remember everything about myself, but somehow, I knew that I had never worn anything so magnificent in all my life. I traced the cut of the neckline with my fingertips, fighting the urge to try it on.
“We will start getting ready right after dinner.” Sally picked up the dress and hung it in the closet.
“Are you going to bring me dinner at the usual time today?”
“No, milady. You are expected to join the others downstairs.”
“Downstairs?”
“I should not be telling you this, but Mr. Payton adjusted your medicine, and everyone's so happy that you’re feeling better.” Sally continued.
“Oh, yes.” I forced a smile.
“From now on you are expected to come down for dinner so you can see all of the possible suitors. Isn’t that lovely?”
“Yes! That’s great.” I tried to sound cheerful.
“I’ll come after the afternoon tea to help you dress for dinner.”
“Thank you, Sally.”
After she was gone, I paced the room for some time before opening the door at last.
Kent stood by the window, gazing out at the uneven contours of the buildings below.
“Mr. Kent?”
My breath caught in my chest, when he turned toward me. He was so astonishingly, otherworldly handsome that every time I laid eyes on him, I forgot how to breathe.
He said nothing, just looked at me with his dark, almost liquid, umber eyes.
I wanted him to close the distance between us. To wrap his arms around me, press me against his chest, and make me feel something other than hollow emptiness. I wanted that so bad. I wanted him.
“Could you take me to the garden, please?”
Still silent, he stepped closer, extending his hand to me, and I took it.
For a moment, his warmth drowned out every worry, every ounce of anxiety. I basked in it, savoring his proximity. It was a sweet, forbidden secret. One I would never share with anyone.
“I remembered something and I want to ask you about it,” I said when we entered the overgrown part of the garden.
He turned, and his eyes searched my face. I could not read him, and it felt like something I should be able to do. I inhaled, briefly closing my eyes, and told him about the blond man in my dreams.
Ken’s eyes immediately hardened. I could see a tiny muscle in his jaw twitch as his expression turned to stone.
“I believe you were engaged a long time ago.”
“Engaged? What happened?”
“He was killed.”
I lowered my gaze. It explained so much.
I knew we had been close, but I did not think of him with any pain.
Instead, a soft, sorrowful feeling of loss was all that remained.
I looked around, noticing that we were standing in the same clearing as before, secluded from any curious gazes if anyone happened to be in this part of the gardens.
“Did we . . . you and I . . . Were we engaged?”
It was difficult, so difficult to ask. But I had to know, even if it was uncomfortable and terrifying. I had to know or it would drive me crazy.
“No.”
“Oh. I see.”
Out of nowhere, a new pain squeezed my heart and would not let go. I thought, I hoped, that maybe, the things that he said earlier meant that we were once a couple. For some reason, knowing that we were not pained me.
I glanced at Kent once more, uncertainty swirling inside me. His face was a mask, unreadable and closed off. I could not reach him, could not pierce through his calm, collected exterior. I was at a loss for what to do.
“I think I need to return to my room before Sally noticed my absence.” I took a step back.
“Alina.”
“There’s just one thing that I really want to know. Why are you here?”
“I told you.”
“You said that you came for me.”
“Yes.”
“How’s that going? Are you going to help me pick a husband?”
He moved as fast as lightning, and the next moment I was pushed against the tree trunk.
His hard body pressed against mine. The exposed skin on my back rubbed against the rough surface of the tree bark.
His indescribably captivating scent of leather and smoke invaded my mind, and my eyes closed against my will.
It was pure torture, and I could not get enough of it.
As if my life depended on this blissfully, agonizingly, sweet moment.
“I want you to do one thing for me,” he whispered against my lips.
I opened my eyes, aware that he could read my desperate need and desire, but I could not help it.
“What?” I said, hardly recognizing my breathy voice.
“Answer one question, Alina.”
His hand slid down from my shoulder to my waist and traveled to my back and lower, cupping my bottom.
I gasped, clenching his shoulders. An unbearably hot and sensual heat burned my insides and I could not calm my ragged breathing.
My eyes found his face and I saw the dark, crazed madness, his near loss of all control, similar to the way I felt.
“What. Is. My. Name?” his voice was low, and silky smooth.
“Your name?”
“Yes.”
“Is that all?”
“Say it.”
“I . . . Kent. Your name is Kent.”
His face instantly turned to stone. He stepped back, taking a deep breath.
“What?”
“Go back to your room, milady.”
“What did I say?” I took in a breath, watching the cold expression fill his beautiful eyes.
No matter how much I tried to figure him out, I could not. My guard was deep in thought and not very responsive as he led me back to my room. He said nothing while I waited for him by the door.
I bit my lip, looking in the mirror, while Sally finished decorating my hair with pearl flowers. My warm toned, light blue dress showed more skin than I was comfortable with. The necklace that rested against my collarbone accentuated the deep cut in the front.
“Milady, may I recommend using some lip cream on your cheeks?”
“Thank you, Sally. I will finish up.”