Chapter 19
CHAPTER NINETEEN
ALINA
The day started worse than ever. I opened my eyes to see Corliss watching me sleep, her gaze traveled from my crumpled bed sheets to my face. Then, still not saying a word, she moved to the window and fastened it. I watched her puzzled.
“Good morning,” I said.
“Yes. Forgive me. I just have something on my mind.” She returned to the bed.
Then Sally walked in, holding a beautiful evening gown made of layers upon layers of peach-colored shimmering tulle that was embroidered with delicate flowers all the way to the very bottom.
“As you remember, today is the grand opening of the little theatre.”
For the first time, I did not feel dread thinking about the evening, and was genuinely curious as I had never been to the theater before.
Corliss went on to explain that the theater had been closed for years, as it was deemed impractical to maintain while the virus remained a significant threat at the borders. But with people feeling more secure, the resumption of cultural life was considered necessary.
I could not quite agree with her there. In my opinion, the people in the city needed more immediate attention. It did not seem like the right time to be redirecting efforts toward rebuilding a theater. Yet, despite my reservations, my curiosity was piqued.
My enthusiasm subsided when I learned that my day had already been planned for me from the early morning when I was expected to have breakfast with one of the representatives from the blue clan, then a walk with Lord Edsel, followed by midday tea with his older brother.
After that, Lord Rutherford would have the next slot of my time.
I sighed and looked in the mirror. I was still feeling angry about the fight with Kent.
What did he expect? What did he want me to do?
All my frustration at him for storming out, and essentially ignoring me for the rest of the day, could not quite compare to the deep, unfulfilled desire that still burned in my bones. My body ached from the want, and I was not ashamed to admit it.
As Sally left the room, Corliss stood behind me, holding a hairbrush in her hand. Her pale fingers wrapped around the handle, her face set in deep solemnity.
“My child, I truly want what is best for you; and Talman, of course. You have to make your final decision this week. The queen is not in good health and we must be certain that the kingdom is in good hands. Just imagine how many people could be saved, and provided for. The council is doing what it can, but having so many people in charge is never a good idea. Many things are not getting the attention they deserve. Just imagine how much you could do.”
“What if I am not allowed to do anything?”
“What do you mean?”
“I am sure I will not be free to do as I please after marriage.”
“My dear, you are a woman. From a very early age we learn how to make a man do what we want.”
I pursed my lips. That prospect was highly unpleasant.
There was no appeal in being in a situation where I would be reduced to lying and scheming in order to do what needed to be done.
Whatever Corliss and the others thought, I did not see this upcoming match as a great opportunity for Talman.
To me, the future felt entirely obscured, hidden beneath the darkest veil.
Anything could happen, anything at all. The husband I chose could decide to rid himself of me.
He could orchestrate a deadly accident, or worse, continue the practice that my current keepers deemed necessary, and poison me.
The inability to see a way out produced a light headache that squeezed my temples.
Sally returned carrying a tall, crystal glass filled with an opaque liquid.
“Now, Alina, dear. Drink this and you will feel better.” Corliss brought the glass to my lips and I had no way to get out of it.
I emptied my stomach as soon as I had a chance, but some traces of the poison clearly seeped into my bloodstream, because my head was spinning and I felt weak and shaky.
The miserable, never ending parade of suitors was almost at its end.
My last date with Lord Rutherford was coming to its less than exciting conclusion, when I finally gave in and glanced at Kent.
He stood with his arms crossed on his chest. His shoulder length, chestnut brown hair swayed in a light breeze.
He reminded me of a statue of an ancient god – lethal, unforgiving, and breathtakingly beautiful.
In the next moment, he lifted his enchanting umber eyes, and I could not stop my heart from leaping in my chest. Last night, I dreamed of him again.
I saw us walking together through a field, hands intertwined, surrounded by wildflowers.
The scent of fresh grass and the sweetness of lilies of the valley immediately brought a feeling of belonging, deepening the connection between us.
Even now, I could sense what he was feeling without a word between us. I could feel the anger and frustration buried deep inside him, along with jealousy: somber, urgent, and more intense than anything else.
“Have you given any thought to what we discussed earlier?” Rutherford returned my thoughts back to our depressing date.
“Yes, I have.”
“What is your answer?”
Involuntarily, I glanced back at my guard, who was not close enough to overhear our conversation.
Trying to buy myself some time, I turned toward the raised garden bed, lightly brushing my fingertips against the petals of a rose colored tulip.
The delicate lines of the flower shimmered in the soft summer sun, but even its beauty could not distract me from the unpleasant conversations that had plagued my day.
I was confused. I was exhausted. I just wanted to escape from the place where everyone seemed to want something from me.
I watched Lord Rutherford with attention I hardly afforded him before.
He would have been the most suitable candidate.
He was not married, and as far as I knew, had no vices, he respected me enough not to try using awkward gallantries and had been direct with me from the very beginning.
And yet, even with the interests of all people in Talman at stake, I would not be able to accept what was wrong in its nature.
Being with him seemed absolutely impossible.
My heart, my soul, every inch of my skin, flesh and bones belonged to another.
How much happiness can one deeply unhappy person bring to others? I bit my lip, looking away.
“Alina?” He reached out and carefully lifted my chin.
“I need more time,” I whispered.
He tilted his head and his beautiful eyes searched my face.
“I can make you happy, but you need to trust me.”
I was feeling the whitebane traveling through my system, taking away the clarity I got used to having. It would be so easy to say yes, and let someone make the most important decision of my life for me. I hesitated only for a moment before giving him a light nod.
The little theater turned out to be a grand structure within the palace gates.
I paused by the wide marble stairs looking up at the bright lights, then my eyes moved to the open set of double doors.
The public was swiftly ushered to move along, and I felt the need to follow Corliss and Lord Adger who were accompanying me for the evening.
Lord Adger was wearing the colors of his clan with the pride of a person who made it up the social ladder and could spend one night being pleasant to other less successful courtiers.
Corliss wore a high collared dress adorned with an abundance of gemstones.
The light of hundreds of candles in the crystal chandeliers reflected off the fabric of her gown and the faint sheen of sparkling powder on her cheeks.
“They did a good job restoring this place.” Lord Adger moved his head, examining the decorative sculptures on the walls, and the frescos on the ceiling.
“My dear, you would not believe the dreadful state this building was in before the council . . .” She paused, giving our companion a nod. “ . . . led by Lord Adger, restored it.”
“I believe that our species requires nourishment of the mind as well as nourishment of the body,” Lord Adger responded with a light nod.
I stole a careful glance at my guard, then quickly looked away. Kent wore his usual dark blue uniform, his expression impenetrably grave. His long fingers were resting on the hilt of his sword.
As I thought about him, I realized he didn’t like swords.
He preferred the set of sharp knives attached to his thick leather belt.
He could unsheathe them effortlessly, his movements fluid and precise as he sent them flying with remarkable force and accuracy.
Sometimes, he would play with a knife absentmindedly, rotating it, tossing it up in the air and catching the blade with an almost effortless skill.
Somehow, I knew he never smiled much, but when he did, it was the most beautiful sight. He smiled when we were together; holding hands, leaning toward each other for a lazy, soft kiss. I could also picture him staying up half the night, reading books, and quietly watching over me while I slept.
He was loyal and protective, strong and uncompromising, yet incredibly gentle with everyone he cared about. There was no self-pity when things went wrong – he would always pick himself up and keep fighting. He knew no uncertainty or indecision when it came to protecting those around him.
I also knew the girl with the braids, the younger man with short, light hair, and the tall, bulky man were his friends. With them, he felt at ease, yet, he was always more protective of them than anyone could imagine.
We had not spoken to each other since the incident in the storage room. I could not forget what he said, or my own words that I threw back at him. That was not my best moment. I was angry and upset, and I wanted to hurt him, and by the look of it, I was successful at that.