Chapter 1
A s I stepped back into the studio for the first time in months, the shadow of heartbreak and grief hung over me. Hands shaking, I grasped the headphones, pulling them over my ears. I glanced over at Mia and Lilith. Both gave me a smile of encouragement. It had been six months since my whole life imploded, and coming back was like coming home.
My bassist, Mia, was a Japanese Australian with a red balayage on shoulder-length black hair. Donning knee-high leather boots and a short red skirt, her white tee- shirt and denim jacket was her usual wear when we played.
Lilith’s Italian line was still visible with her olive skin. She had short, spiky, white-blonde hair, a black sleeveless vest over her tee-shirt, with jeans that were full of rips. Around her neck she wore a wide black ribbon. She was covered in tattoos with a nose ring, and her eyes were lined heavily, with smoky eye shadow and black lipstick.
Finally, I reached for the mic. Singing always brought me such joy, and holding the mic felt right. I took in a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“How do you feel?” Lilith asked, her eyes showing her concern.
I gave her a small smile. “Like it’s been too long.”
Mia’s face brightened. “So, you’re ready?” she asked with hope in her voice.
I took in another shaky breath and exhaled. “I think so.”
Lilith nodded. “Okay, we’ll be in the booth with Gavin. Take your time.”
They left, closing the door with a soft click. I shut my eyes, allowing the silence to envelop me. Music was my life. Singing was my life, but I’d walked away, much to my ex-boyfriend’s pleasure. Lilith had been working hard to bring me to the studio for months. It got to the point that I missed it enough to give in, so I’d allowed her to book a time to record the lyrics to music she and Mia had already recorded.
“Let me know when you’re ready,” Lilith’s voice came through the headphones, gently.
I opened my eyes, glancing at her on the other side of the glass with Mia. Next to them, our sound mixer, Gavin, watched me. I gave them a nod.
Music came through the headphones. I closed my eyes again, letting it in. The sound of Mia’s bass blended in with Lilith’s drums washed over me, and a smile crept across my face. My heart thudded in time with the drums. It had been too long, and I became energised, letting the track play through. I hummed to the tune that I’d sing, taking joy as the words returned.
At the end, I opened my eyes. “Play it again, I’m ready to sing.”
Mia and Lilith’s faces lit up; and I couldn’t hear them, but I could tell they were cheering. Lilith fist-pumped the air. I couldn’t help but laugh.
The track started over, and as I started to sing, the pain of the last six months faded away. The break-up, and all that followed, held no meaning in that moment. He’d forced me to give up singing, and he gaslit me to the point that I believed it was my idea to quit. But song burst forth from me, healing and energising me.
I knew these words like I knew my own heart. I’d written them. I sang along, overwhelmed by the urge to cry. It was joy that filled me, and peace. My life was chaos without music, and I let myself go. It carried me to a deep part within myself where only music existed. The centre of my being rejoiced. This was my world, and I would never let myself be pulled from it again.
Silence came through the headphones, deafening. I opened my eyes to find the three of them staring at me, open-mouthed, through the glass.
“Again,” I requested.
“We’ve already played it three times,” Lilith countered. “We have everything we need. You were perfect.”
Three times? I’d gotten so lost in the music that I hadn’t even noticed. “One more time?”
It started to play, and my chest ached as I released my fear of singing. My voice never wavered; it was as if no time had passed at all. As the last of the chords died down, Mia and Lilith burst through the door and wrapped me in tight hugs.
“I’m so proud of you!” Lilith’s excitement lit up her eyes. “You did it, Quinn.”
I pulled the headphones off, hanging them up. “I’m sorry it took so long.”
“It’s okay,” Mia said. “You needed time.”
“Time to celebrate!” Lilith said. “I’m going to buy you the biggest serving of ‘Death by Chocolate’!”
I grabbed my jacket, but before we left, I turned, scanning the studio. “When can we book in again?” I asked. “We still have the rest of the album to record.”
They both looped their arms around mine.
“Already taken care of,” Lilith said. “When you were singing that last time, I told Gavin that you were ready. We’re booked in for next week.”
“Thank you,” I said, almost choking on emotion. “I don’t know where I’d be without you three.”
Lilith stopped, her serious face on. “Just, please talk it over with us next time? We can’t see you walk away from the music in your soul again. If I knew where Steven was, I’d kick his ass.”
I choked back a laugh as we stepped outside into the bright sun. It was chilly, and the beginning of Autumn, but for once Melbourne had given us sunshine. A cold breeze pulled at my jacket, and I zipped it up, pulling a beanie over my head. “Don’t worry, I’m not looking to go down that road for a looong time. Let’s just focus on our career for a while. ”
A man walked by with dark sunglasses over his eyes, alongside a blonde woman who looked like a model. He had black hair with olive skin, maybe Mediterranean. His chest and shoulders were broad, and his arms were all muscle. A hint of stubble lined his jaw. He wore black jeans and a black tee-shirt. His face moved enough for me to feel like he was looking me over, but he kept walking. I caught what I thought was a whiff of cedarwood and sea, which only made me think of my sister. Pain pierced my chest, but I pushed it down.
I didn’t realise I’d stopped until Mia burst into giggles. “And for a second there I thought you were ready to swear off men.”
I cast a look over my shoulder at the same time he did. My cheeks heated, and his lips twitched slightly as if he were holding off a smile. Then he walked away with the blonde.
“I can still look,” I quipped, ignoring the inner voice chanting, ‘ Yes, yes, yes! Him!’
I resisted the urge to look back again, following my friends to the cafe.
“So, I have some news,” Lilith revealed as we walked in, the strong aroma of coffee beans filling me with relief.
I grabbed menus on our way past, and we sat down at our usual corner table. My fingers wrapped around my dolphin pendant as I waited for her to say more. “Why do I feel like you’re gauging my reaction before you continue?” I asked.
“Because she is,” Mia laughed.
“Out with it,” I glared at Lilith, but then grinned.
“I got a call this morning from Pete at The Underground. Someone sent him our music video, and he listened to our album. ”
The Underground was a bar where the owner hosted live bands. I’d gone there for plenty of gigs before, but never to sing. “And?”
“He wants to give us a trial. Once a month. If we draw in enough of a crowd, he’d be willing to discuss something a bit more frequent. I told him I’d have to clear it with my band first.” She smiled at me with hope in her eyes.
Excitement bubbled up. “Oh wow. When’s our first gig?”
Lilith gave me her widest smile. “This weekend.”