Chapter 13
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ANASTASIA
The cool leather squeaks beneath my ass as I attempt to move away from him. My elbow whacks against the metal door and I wince whilst trying to stretch my dress further over my thighs.
It sparks amusements in his gaze, but I’m all grown up now and I remember how this works.
First, he would trap me in a place where I couldn’t escape and always when I was wearing one of those small school skirts. Then he would latch onto my legs, starting with a slight dusting of my knee, working his way up my thigh and then squeezing the ample skin .
My kryptonite was always those fingers as they delved between my thighs. Then I was his.
Willing, obeying, pleasing.
Well not this time.
“When you said that you had somewhere more private to talk, I didn’t realize I was agreeing to being locked in your limo.”
I hate the cocky arrogance that exudes from his aura as he leans forward, cocking that perfectly sculpted brow. “Scared to be alone with me, mi amore?”
That hot anger only he can incite begins to brew. “Of course not, and I told you to stop calling me that.”
“Why?”
“Well maybe because I don’t belong to you anymore.” I shoot back, regretting the words the moment I see his lips rise. God, I want to carve out of his face. “Not that I ever did belong to you.” He laughs and I realize I’m only digging myself a bigger hole. Take back control Anastasia. “What did you want to discuss?”
“The darker sides of our businesses.” Oh, I was expecting a sex talk. He just stares at me.
Maybe I’m the only one with my mind in the gutter?
“What about it? ”
“Well don’t you think it's important to talk about our alliances…enemies? Once word of our engagement gets out, it’ll bring all our ghosts into the light.”
I suppose he’s right. Any power play in the underworld immediately puts all the major players on guard. And I’ve pissed off a lot of them in recent years. “And do you have a lot of ghosts?”
Enzo travels somewhere in his mind that I wish I could see. “That depends on what you consider to be a lot. I have a few I wish to escape.”
I nod, “I know the feeling. Hopefully I can help.” It’s far from an olive branch but I know what it's like to live a life where you’re constantly looking over your shoulder.
Sometimes when I look at him, I see a part of myself staring back like a fractured reflection.
Surprise brings a little light to his eyes. “There’s been a few disputes in Sicily recently with some of the smaller gangs but they shouldn't be a problem once they hear I’ve aligned myself with you. Right now, I’m working on securing safe passage through Mexico for my product and I’m sure I can negotiate for you too.”
“Sonora?” My parents tried for years to contact the head of the Sonora cartel with no luck. He nods. “We’ve made deals before, I should be able to facilitate.” I realize that he’s waiting for me to mention my supposed ghosts lurking in the shadows.
“Right now, there’s a balance in New York.”
“What about the Irish?”
I scratch at my manicure that’s already began to chip away. “We settled that dispute almost half a year ago. I have a good relationship with Killian O’Connell. He’s the heir to the mob, though his stepfather can be difficult and seems to share the same sentiments as my board regarding my leadership.”
“They don’t believe in women ruling.”
“How did you know that?”
He swallows hard, running a hand through his hair. “My Ma had similar problems when I took over for my father whilst he was…sick. I was too young to help her so she did it all alone.”
Memories of the two of us lying in my bed at Ravenswood come flooding back. How I would share intimate memories about my family, the good and the bad, but always fighting to keep the parts I could never share locked away.
We both had the same struggle, only being able to reveal fractions of ourselves until now.
“I can’t wait to meet her.” It’s strange to think about marrying Enzo. To me it’s not a real marriage and yet I’ll be gaining a very real mother-in-law .
“I think it’s time to move onto the next subject.” I frown at the way he’s quick to change topics. It doesn’t exactly make me look forward to meeting his mother. “Children.”
I almost choke on my spit. “What about them?”
“Come on Anastasia, we both know how this works. We need an heir. This partnership, merger, whatever you want to call it, will never be solidified unless we have an heir to inherit our empire one day.”
“Bringing a baby into our world is stupid. It’ll become the ultimate weakness for us both.” I’ve never been one to have maternal desires or crave bringing life into the world one day. I don’t despise children, except for that they’re loud and messy and somehow always sticky.
Let’s just say the thought has never appealed to me.
“Or it could be a strength. You know that the board will never fully accept you as their boss until you have an heir to secure your legacy. It’s misogynistic but it's fact.”
I know that everything he’s saying is the truth but it’s the sickening panic swirling around in my stomach that I can’t ignore.
“So you just want our child to inherit everything without a say? I had a choice when I was 16 whether or not I wanted this life, and I chose it but our child would fall under obligation. ”
I don’t want them to grow up resenting me. Feeling trapped as though I brought them into this world only to act as my legacy.
“I want to be a father, Anastasia. It’s non-negotiable but I would never force them into this life either. If they didn’t want it, then I’m sure one of your siblings would be happy to take over or their children?”
Maybe it’s because I’ve always known I was destined to become the leader in my family, but I can’t see any of my siblings in this role. Each of them has their reasons for rejecting it, even Demetri, who proves most similar to me, never desired to be saddled with the responsibility.
It’s always been me.
I frown. “Do you not have any siblings?”
A darkness clouds over him. “I would have had a brother, but he didn’t make it into this world.”
“I’m sorry.” I couldn’t imagine not growing up without siblings. For as long as I’ve known it, my house has always been this loud chaotic place that grew brighter with each of my siblings.
“It was a long time ago and besides, Dom’s been there for me since we were five. He’s a true brother.” Now I feel bad for making fun of him .
I smile though, imagining him and Jas right now. Even though she probably wants to kill him right now, I can’t shake the feeling that he’s good for her.
“I’m glad you had someone. Even if he has a terrible fashion sense.” Enzo laughs, this authentic rare sound, that makes me want more.
He’s so much closer to me now. Our knees are almost brushing and the thick scent of his aftershave swirls between us. My tongue peeks out, tasting leather and the subtle linger of tobacco in the air.
“We should set rules.” His voice sounds deeper now, or maybe that’s just me drugged on whatever’s laced in the air. It feels hot in here…too hot and we’re so close to each other, I can make out the faint lines in his skin beneath that proves we’re nine years older now.
“Rules? For what?”
“Us. Making a baby can be…complicated.”
Sex . So I wasn’t just thinking with a dirty mind, this is something he wants to discuss.
“We have to talk about this now?”
Those long rough fingers graze my knees with a feather light touch. Damn it. “Better to get you knocked up and swollen with my baby as quick as possible don’t you think? That way, you won’t have to fuck me again.”
I should be content with that last part, yet it sounds like a prison sentence. A life of chastity because I’ve already popped out an heir. I suppose vibrators always exist but still, it’s not the same.
His other hand grips my chin, forcing our eyes to meet. “I thought that’s what you wanted. To never have to touch me or share a bed?”
“It is.” I murmur., my mind spinning as his fingers clamp down on his skin harder.
“Well then surely you’d want to get pregnant now, save yourself from ever having to touch me again?” My eyes flutter shut, feeling the warmth of his breath tickling my neck.
What the hell am I doing?
I’m letting myself fall for his bullshit again, unraveling after just ten minutes alone with him
No, I’m not going to let him take charge of me like he did at Ravenswood. I’m not a 16-year-old virgin anymore and I’m sure as fuck not letting this man believe he’s going to get his way with me every time he so much as touches my leg.
Snapping my eyes open, I grip his chin hard and let my nails sink in deep. “Let me make this clear to you Enzo. Your cock will only be inside of me enough times to perform its job. After that, it won’t be touching me again.”
Darkness thunders in those smoky quartz eyes. “So you plan to never fuck again, Anastasia? Because if you think another man is ever going inside that sweet pussy once my ring is on your finger, you’re sorely mistaken.”
“What happens if I do find someone else to fuck me? To give me what you can’t?”
A gasp rips from my throat as he cups my clothed pussy. “I’ll find him, you can be sure about that. Then I’ll make you watch as I chop off each finger that’s been inside of you.”
The violence as he spits out each word only adds more heat to the fire burning in the bottom of my stomach. “What else?” I choke out, watching those golden flecks shine at my unraveling.
He watches me so intently as his other hand moves up to grasp my throat. I almost tell him to stop as I do to every other bastard that attempts to choke me during sex, but something stops.
A strange sense of familiarity and longing that makes me moan as he squeezes it perfectly.
“I’ll skin every part of him that he’s used to touch you until he’s a bloody mess on the floor. I’ll take a moment to savor the pain he’s enduring for touching what belongs to me and then as he’s drawing his last breath, I’ll fuck you in his blood and sweat and tears, drawing my name from your tongue until you remember that no-one in this goddamn world will ever make you feel the way I do.”
Holy—
A cry slips from my lips as he finally slips a finger inside of me. I grip his shoulders, marveling at the muscle packed beneath his white shirt, and sink my body down against the cool leather.
My head tilts down, watching as he lowers his face to my pussy, brushing his nose against my clit that sparks a jolt through my body. He bites at my thong, ripping at the thin material with his teeth.
There’s a feral look in his eyes as he meets my gaze, almost as if daring me to run. I reach back and grasp the door handle, tugging at it but it’s useless. He’s locked me in.
The hand around my neck squeezes tighter. “Trying to run?” Heat leaches from his voice.
Would he even stop if I said yes?
His head dips down, pressing his forehead flush against mine. “Let me rephrase that for you since you’ve clearly forgotten how to speak. Do you want to leave Anastasia?”
He’s giving me an out and from the look in his eyes, he’s expecting me to take it .
Maybe even hoping that I do?
My mind tries to throw memories to the front of my brain, ones where I’m crying and depressed over a boy that promised me forever. A boy who lied and ran and yet here he is again, but this time he’s all grown up priming me a future plagued with ghosts and darkness I doubt we’ll ever escape.
What do you want, Anastasia?
I push down the memories, focusing my mind on the present. Here right now where I can feel the hardness of his cock rubbing against my thigh.
I’m marrying this man for the one thing I can’t bear to lose.
Power.
And by leaving I’ll be surrendering control, when in fact I could just take it for myself.
“I’m not leaving.” A smile grows on his lips before they try to descend upon me. I turn my face away, feeling the confusion boring into me. “Let’s not make this something it isn’t. I want you to fuck me the way you’ve dreamt it for the past nine years.”
I catch a glimpse of something in his eyes, but it disappears as a cocky grin spread across his face. “And have you been dreaming about me fucking you for nine years? ”
Pushing up on my elbows, I flare my legs wide around his waist. “Hate fucking. I’ve dreamt of fucking you until your cock bleeds out dry, teasing you until you’re begging me to stop and punishing you in every way possible for what you did to me.”
“Wow, I never knew a slut could have such a mouth on her.”
Anger flares through me, powering my body as I swing my fist towards him. He grips it in one hand, pinning it above my head before doing the same to the other. My fingers curl around the handle on the car door, trapped by his meaty grip that refuses to let go.
Then I look up into his eyes and realize this is exactly what I want from him. No sloppy kisses or cries of passion. Pure fucking — no strings attached.
Placing one of my feet on the center console, he leans down and lashes his tongue out against my pussy. I gasp at the harsh feeling, like leather whipping at my skin, and move my hips to match his rhythm.
“You like that don’t you, you little brat?” The derogatory words slip past my mind and hit me straight in the pussy. I clench around his finger, gasping for more, only to cry out as he pushes another in.
“God, you taste so sweet. Honey, just like I remember.” Air hits me as he spreads my cheeks apart, dragging his tongue down towards my puckered hole .
The sensation is so foreign, so dirty that I cum from it. My grip tightens on his hair, tugging with every euphoric tremor that rocks through my body. He’s unrelenting, striking my clit again and again with the flat of his tongue until I’m limp and panting heavily.
His fingers stroke my inner walls, inciting each flutter that rocks through my body. Slowly that hand abandons my aching pussy. That strong hand leaves my pussy, snaking its way up until it reaches my neck. He squeezes once, hitting every pressure point to relax my body. “Good girl.”
His praise is like a balm soothing my inner wounds.
As I come down from the rush, I realize that there’s no going back. He’s had his tongue on my pussy and we’ve not even signed the contract yet.
He’s staring down at me, lips all swollen and wet with my juices making him look just that much more attractive.
In the past, I would have dropped to my knees and taken his cock in my mouth with pleasure. But right now, I’m winning. I’ve taken what I wanted from him and now it’s time to leave.
Yanking my dress down, I push myself back up. “Okay, let me out now. We’re done.”
A dark laugh vibrates from his chest and he yanks me forward into his chest, tilting my chin up. “Done? Oh, we’re nowhere near finished yet, mi amore.” His hands drop to his belt. “In fact we’re just getting started.”