20
JIMMY
I wasn’t sure how TJ was keeping it together. Show week arrived, and if it weren’t for the fact that I felt him climbing into bed each night, entangling his limbs with mine and snuggling into my warmth, I would think he wasn’t sleeping at all.
One day at lunch, as he was stuffing a sandwich into his mouth while simultaneously trying to type a paper, I asked him how he was managing it all. He ran a hand through his hair, leaving it standing on end, flashed me an absent smile, and told me his whole life had been like this. His family had been constantly on the go between his brothers’ activities, often doing homework in the car and grabbing food from a drive-thru. As someone who’d been a homebody most of his life, it was hard to wrap my head around.
On Wednesday evening, they had a friends-and-family preview night ahead of Rent’s opening the following day. Despite the fact that TJ had an early call time and wouldn’t be able to join them, his family had insisted I go out to dinner with them before the show. It had been a noisy affair that not only included his immediate family but a couple of his cousins, his aunt and uncle, and Mrs. McGee—Gram, she’d insisted I call her—as well. Everyone talked over each other as they ate, laughing and ribbing each other, and surprisingly, I felt right at home with them.
We arrived at the theater about ten minutes before showtime and found our seats in the center section near the front. I had never been to a live musical before, not even in high school, so I really had no idea what to expect, but from the moment the lights came down and the music started, I was riveted.
For the next two and a half hours, I was no longer in Omaha or even Nebraska. I was transported to the East Village of Manhattan, watching Roger and Mimi fall in love, Maureen and Joanne fight it out, and Mark worry over his future. And when Collins lost Angel, singing about covering him with kisses, I wept along with everyone in the audience. Nothing had ever moved me the way this show had.
And watching TJ perform blew me away. He had a gift. The other actors were talented, to be sure, but TJ’s performance was on another level. When his character thought he had lost Mimi at the end, I was so invested in his performance that I felt every emotion right along with him. I had no doubt TJ could make his Broadway dreams come true if that was what he truly wanted.
I just didn’t know where I fit in that scenario.
We waited outside the theater in the lobby area, standing in groups among all the other friends and families of the cast. I thought back to that day in August when he’d dragged me through the building, showing me the spaces that fueled his soul.
In many ways, he’d terrified me that day, this brash, larger-than-life man with no respect for personal space and a smile brighter than the sun. I’d felt impossibly small in his presence, shy and unsure, and utterly awkward compared to his confident, happy attitude. I’d instinctively shied away, knowing I could never hold my own with a guy like that.
He’d since shown me I was wrong, and Gram had been the one to point it out. Just because I didn’t have a big personality and a smile bright enough to power the entire campus didn’t mean I didn’t have other things to offer. On more than one occasion, I’d been the voice of reason when TJ had a wild idea about something. I’d reminded him about things he’d forgotten, which, as it turned out, he had a habit of doing. His keys. His wallet. Assignment deadlines. Exam dates. I was levelheaded when he was spacey. Calm when he was too wound up. Organized when he was a human tornado. Gram had said I’d bring him back to Earth when he’d flown too close to the sun, and I thought maybe this was what she’d meant.
There was a commotion near the hallway to the side of the theater as the cast began to make its way out to meet their loved ones. Not being particularly tall, I stood on my tiptoes, anxious for a glimpse of my boyfriend. I finally caught sight of him just a moment before he saw me, and when our eyes caught, he lit up, his smile taking over his entire face.
He pushed through the crowd, ignoring his family in favor of scooping me up in a hug and lifting me right off the floor. He was sweaty and still wearing heavy stage makeup, but I didn’t care. Nothing mattered in that moment other than absorbing his absolute joy.
“You were amazing, baby,”
I said into his ear. “I had no idea.”
He pulled back, looking at me with a mischievous glint in his eye. “Are you saying you doubted me?”
I pinched his arm. “You know that’s not what I meant. I just had no idea what to expect. You were…the whole thing was better than I could have imagined. But you… I’m so proud of you.”
He kissed me, then, right there in front of everyone. Turned out, I didn’t mind.
I saw every show the rest of the weekend. I couldn’t stay away. Olivia came one night, just as she’d promised. TJ’s mom and aunt came a second time. But for the rest of the shows, I sat alone in whatever single seat was available. Seeing him perform opened an entirely new facet of him. One I’d known existed but couldn’t wrap my head around until I’d witnessed it in person.
Night after night, show after show, he poured everything into his performance. And then, after, he’d be so hyped up that it would take him hours to fall asleep.
It all caught up with him the week after the show when he caught a bug and crashed hard.
I came home from class on Monday to find TJ buried under a blanket and miserable. There was a pile of tissues on the desk next to his bed. His cheeks were flushed and the tip of his nose was red. He looked at me with sad eyes and said, “I’m sick.”
Only it came out “I’m thick”
because he was super congested.
“I can see that,”
I said, dropping my backpack on the floor next to my desk. I shrugged out of my jacket, crossed to where he lay, and placed my hand on his forehead. “I think you have a little bit of a fever.”
“You should probably keep your distance. I don’t want to get you sick.”
“I’ll take my chances. Have you eaten anything?”
“Not really. Every time I tried to get out of bed, my head throbbed and I started shivering uncontrollably.”
“Poor baby. Why didn’t you text me? Did you even make it to any of your classes today?”
“I went to my classroom management class, but about halfway through, it felt like my head was slowly being filled with concrete and I could barely keep my eyes open. I came back here, emailed the rest of my professors, then crashed.”
I smoothed his hair back from his forehead. He’d let it grow longer for his role in the musical. “I’m going to run to the dining hall and get you some soup.”
I made to stand, but his hand shot out from beneath the covers, holding me in place with surprising strength.
“No. Don’t leave me.”
I chuckled. “It’ll take me like twenty, maybe thirty minutes. You’ll be okay.”
He gripped my arm tighter. “Stay. Text Tyler and ask him to bring something.”
“Baby, that’s silly. I’m sure your brother is busy. I’ll just run over and…”
“No.”
His voice held a whiny quality I’d never heard from him before. “Just call him. Pleeeease.”
He widened his eyes like a puppy dog, and I swear to god, he rolled out his bottom lip in a pout.
“Wow. You’re pitiful.”
“I really am.”
He nodded his head and pouted harder, leaning into the act.
I sighed and pulled out my phone, shooting Tyler a text.
Your brother is begging me to have you bring him some soup
I’d go, but he won’t let me leave
A response came in almost immediately.
Tyler
He must be sick
How did you know?
He almost always gets sick the week after a show, and he’s always such a damn baby about it
I wanted to agree, but a sense of loyalty to my boyfriend stopped me from confirming. Another text from Tyler came in, saving me from responding.
I’ll be over in fifteen. I was headed that direction anyway
TY!
NP. Good luck with him! lol
I pocketed my phone and returned my attention to my pitiful patient. “Tyler says he’ll be here in fifteen.”
His only response was to close his eyes and burrow his head into my thigh.
Tyler was right when he said TJ was a damn baby when he was sick. For someone who was usually so sunny and cheerful and carried himself with confidence, he was absolutely helpless for the next three days. As far as I could tell, he was suffering from the common cold. His nose was runny, his throat scratchy, and he ran a low-grade fever. He stayed in bed all day Tuesday but managed to make it to his Wednesday classes, though he dramatically threw himself on the bed upon entering the room, climbed under the covers, and took a two-hour nap.
There was a part of me that found his behavior eye-roll-inducing. Growing up, I hadn’t had anyone in my life who’d been particularly nurturing, so when it came to being sick, I’d mostly taken care of myself. On the other hand, it felt awfully nice to be needed. To be the one taking care of someone else for a change. It felt…good.
He was definitely feeling better by Thursday. He still had a bit of a sniffle, but his color was much better and his good humor was back. Tyler joined us for lunch after our Ad Psych class, and the two of them spent most of the time giving each other shit, as was their habit.
We were just finishing up when TJ’s phone rang. I caught a glimpse of the number with a three-one-two area code before he picked it up off the table and excused himself to take the call in the lobby.
“Was he expecting a call?”
Tyler asked.
“Not that I know of.”
“Weird. I can’t remember the last time someone called me. I’m surprised he answered. I usually let it roll to voicemail if I don’t know the number.”
“Same.”
“You guys doing anything for Halloween tomorrow? Do you think TJ’s feeling up to it?”
“One of the guys from the theater department’s having a party. TJ’s been looking forward to it for weeks, so I’m sure he’ll muster up the strength to go.”
“But you’re going with, right?”
“Yeah. We’re going as Charlie and Nick from Heartstopper.”
He cringed playfully. “You guys are so gross.”
My cheeks flamed, but I couldn’t help but smile. “It was TJ’s idea.”
“Oh, I have no doubt of that. He’s obsessed with that show.”
“I’m partial to the graphic novels.”
“Hey, guys,”
TJ said, dropping back into his seat, looking a little thunderstruck.
“That was quick,”
I said, eyebrows raised in question.
“Yeah. It was weird.”
He dragged a hand through his shaggy hair. “So this lady said she’s a theater agent who works in Chicago and New York. Says she saw a video someone posted on TikTok of part of my performance in Rent. She wants me to fly out to meet with her.”
“No shit?”
Tyler asked.
“It can’t be legit, can it? This isn’t a thing that happens to people in real life, right? It’s gotta be some sort of scheme.”
“Did she give you her name? Or her agency? Can you Google her?”
He whipped his phone out and began typing, his thumbs furiously flying over the screen while his eyebrows rose higher and higher up his forehead.
“Holy shit. I think…I think she might be legit.”
He sniffled, then looked up, eyes flashing from mine to Tyler’s and back down to his phone, that same stunned expression on his face. “I think I need to go talk to Dr. Fisher. Pretty sure she has office hours right now and she’s got some contacts from back in the day. I’m gonna go see if she thinks this is legit.”
He stood and kissed me on the forehead. “I’m back to teaching classes at the studio tonight. I’ll see you after?”
“Yeah. I have to work, but I’m off at nine.”
“See you tonight.”
And then he was gone, leaving Tyler and me staring after him.