23
BLOOM
I came awake with a start, my chest heaving like I’d surfaced from drowning. The sheets clung to my damp skin, and the hollow thud of my heartbeat roared in my ears. My hand shot out to the empty side of the bed, groping for warmth that wasn’t there.
Logan.
Where was he?
The events of last night rushed back to me, blurring in and out like a bad TV signal. I’d been so drained emotionally and physically that I’d been dead on my feet as we climbed the stairs. Logan had insisted that I went straight to bed and we would talk in the morning.
Where was he? Had he packed up and left during the night?
“Logan?” The name tore from my throat, rough and desperate. My pulse hammered harder. Where was he?
I stumbled out of bed, the cold floor shocking against my bare feet. With every step, the echoing silence rang out like a noose tightening. He’d pulled the blinds, so the room was dark, but the clock on the nightstand said it was already past noon.
“Logan!” My voice cracked, fear rising sharp and bitter in my throat.
“I’m in here,” Logan said softly from the bathroom. Only then did I see the door left ajar. The air rushed from my lungs, leaving me trembling. Even though I’d heard his voice, I needed to see him. To convince myself he hadn’t left. Not this time. Not ever. I wouldn’t let him.
I scrambled toward the bathroom. The first thing I saw was his reflection in the mirror. He’d just showered. A towel hung low on his hips, his hair damp and droplets of water running down his back. His eyes met mine in the mirror, softening. He turned, a half smile playing on his lips that didn’t quite reach his eyes.
“You’ve got to be the most interesting person I’ve ever met.”
Not exactly what I’d expected him to say. I blinked at him. Then because I didn’t know what else to do, and I was still somewhat overwhelmed from last night, I sat right at his feet and wrapped my arms around his legs, resting my head on his thigh.
“If you’re still tired, you should go back to bed,” Logan said. “We’ve got nowhere urgent to be.”
I shook my head. “I’m not tired. I was scared that you’d left me.”
“I won’t do that to you. If that’s what I wanted, I would have gotten the US Marshals to relocate me the very day my first picture appeared in the media. Instead, I wanted to marry you and take you with me.”
“Logan.”
“Hmm?”
“Did you only want to marry me so I could join you on the run?” My voice was barely a whisper, my gaze locked onto the tiled bathroom floor below. I held my breath, dreading his response.
Logan gently stroked through my tangled hair. I shuddered from the light contact.
“That’s not just why,” he said in a husky voice. “But yes, I wanted to marry you so they couldn’t turn you down and you could be with me. But that’s only because I want to spend the rest of my life with you. That’s not all, though. I want to have you covered legally should anything happen to me.”
“Like what? Nothing’s going to happen to you.”
“It’s just a provision, Bloom. I want you to be taken care of whether I’m around to do it or not.”
“We don’t have to think about that because nothing’s going to happen.”
He patted my head. “All right.”
Logan opened the medicine chest, his movements deliberate and unhurried, as though nothing about this morning—or last night—was unusual. He retrieved a small bottle of antiseptic, a packet of gauze, medical tape, a needle, and a spool of suturing thread. He didn’t take the painkillers, which sat at the edge of the shelf, their label tilted toward me.
His behavior tightened my throat. Calm. Unbothered. How could he be so steady when my chest felt like it was caving in on itself?
I pushed to my feet, my legs shaky but determined. The small bloodstains on the towel draped around his waist made my stomach churn. The realization hit me square in the chest like a wrecking ball. I’d done this to him.
“Let me,” I blurted out. My voice was uneven and heavy with my guilt. I’d deliberately avoided looking at his shoulder, where I’d stabbed him last night. Thankfully, it didn’t look deep.
“You know how?”
“No.” I swallowed hard. “But you can tell me what to do.”
For a moment, he didn’t say anything. Then he nodded and stepped back from the mirror. He sat on the closed lid of the toilet, leaning slightly forward to give me better access to his shoulder.
“All right.” He placed the supplies in my trembling hands. “We’ll take it one step at a time.”
I grabbed a washcloth first and soaked it under warm water from the sink. My hands shook as I wrung it out and gently pressed it to his skin, wiping away the dried blood from the jagged cut on his shoulder. Logan didn’t flinch, but I did. The memory of the blade slicing into him flashed in my mind. My stomach turned, but I kept going.
“Good,” he said, his voice calm. “Now grab the antiseptic.”
I unscrewed the cap, wrinkling my nose at the sharp smell, and poured a small amount onto a clean piece of gauze. My hands were still trembling as I pressed it to the wound. Logan let out a hiss through his teeth, but he didn’t pull away.
“Sorry,” I whispered, my voice thick.
I keep hurting him.
“It’s fine,” he murmured. “You’re doing great.”
I didn’t deserve his kindness. Not after what I’d done. I could barely meet his eyes as he handed me the needle and thread.
“Now, you’re going to thread the needle. Loop it through and tie a knot at the end,” he instructed.
It took me longer than it should have, my fingers fumbling with the delicate thread. Once it was done, I froze, staring at the wound. Could I really do this? Pierce Logan’s skin with a needle? Hurt him again?
“You can,” Logan said gently, as if he could hear my thoughts. “Start at one end, push it through the skin, and pull tight. Like sewing.”
I steadied my trembling hand and carefully inserted the needle into his skin. Logan winced slightly but didn’t utter an outcry of pain.
“Good,” he grunted. “Now pull it through.”
I followed his instructions and dragged the thread through, looped it around, and brought the needle back up through his skin again. Each pull of the thread made my heart ache more. By the time I reached the other end, tears were blurring my vision, but I didn’t stop until I tied off the final knot.
“Now cover it with the gauze and tape it down.” His voice remained soothing, even though laced with pain. I pressed the gauze over the wound and secured it with strips of tape.
When I was done, I dropped the tape and needle onto the counter and stepped back, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. But the tears wouldn’t stop. They came harder, racking my chest until I was swaying.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” I choked out. “I didn’t mean it, Logan. I swear.”
He didn’t say a word. Instead, he wrapped his strong arms around me and pulled me down onto his lap. I buried my face in his neck, the scent of him—soap and skin—grounding me, even as my guilt threatened to drown me.
“Shh,” he murmured, his lips brushing against my temple. “I know you didn’t mean it. I know you, Bloom. You would never hurt me on purpose.”
“I was so angry,” I sobbed. “I didn’t even think. I didn’t even see—”
“Hey.” He tilted my face up to meet his gaze. His eyes were soft, warm. Forgiving. “It’s over now. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. We’ll get through this together, won’t we?”
I nodded, though the knot in my chest didn’t loosen. He held me tighter, stroking the back of my neck, and I clung to him like he was the only solid thing in a world I’d torn apart.
“You should hate me,” I whispered.
“That’s impossible. I tried once, and it didn’t work. Now it’s too late. But look, you did a great job patching me up. Now every time you stab me, you can take care of it.”
I gasped, my sobs halting as I stared at him in disbelief.
A gentle smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, his eyes sparkling with barely restrained amusement. A strangled laugh escaped my lips, and he chuckled, brushing my teardrops away with his thumb.
“That’s not funny.”
“It kind of is, though. Last night was a clusterfuck. Why haven’t you asked me to explain?”
I trailed a finger down his neck. “Because I’m afraid of what you’ll say.”
“What if I want to tell you?”
“Then I’ll listen.”
He placed a hand on my thighs. “I know everyone thinks I’m a pain in the ass, but I wasn’t always like this. When I was younger, I was just like everyone else. I went to clubs, had lots of friends, and kissed a boy or two.”
“Do we have to talk about the boys?”
“Sorry, but I promise you it’s a part of the story.”
“Okay, I’ll grit my teeth and bear it.”
He squeezed my thigh. “I loved being a doctor. It was important to me, and I was very good at it. Until my father insisted that since he paid for my education, I needed to give back to the family. He wanted me to torture people, using my medical knowledge to prolong the pain for as long as possible.”
“The Logan I know would hate that.”
“I do—I did. But I did it, even though it was killing me on the inside. Then my father crossed the line. Our family was close to the Byrne family—another powerful crime syndicate. Their son Aurie and I got close. A little too close and my father had him killed. Said as long as I lived—as long as my name was Agosti—I could never be with another man. It would bring shame upon the family. The Mafia isn’t tolerant. When I begged him to let me leave and get out, he threatened me that any man I was with would be killed just like Aurie. So I snapped, and I found a way to remove him from my life. By then, I’d not only lost Aurie but my older brother as well. I didn’t want to be involved with the Mafia. All I wanted was to heal people.”
“I see.”
“Do you? The people you hang out with aren’t much different from my family.”
“I don’t know what your family does, but we’re not bad people. It’s not like we go around hurting others all willy-nilly. We just won’t back down if anyone fucks with one of us.”
“I wish that were true of my family. They’re brutal. They pardon no one. And now they want me.”
“Well, they can’t have you.” I took Logan’s face in my hands, angling his head so he had no choice but to look directly at me. “I won’t let you go with them.”
“Bloom, it’s too dangerous for me to stay in Smoky Vale.”
“Then what do you want to do?”
“To marry you.”
“Then we’ll do it just like we planned.” I kissed his lips. “And we’ll figure out everything together. You’re not alone anymore, Logan. You have me and the rest of my brothers. There’s no reason for you to run anymore. Not when we’ve got your back. The Agostis can fuck off all the way to hell, but no way they’re coming near you.”
Logan sighed. “This is why I didn’t want to tell you. To protect you by keeping you out of it.”
“Well, that didn’t work, and you had a marshal about to hand you over to someone we still don’t know the identity of.”
Logan cupped my cheek, shook me a little. “Promise me you’ll be careful.”
“I will.”
“I mean it, Bloom. My life’s nothing without you.”