Chapter 24
24
He doesn’t know exactly how to break someone’s arm, but he thinks he could figure it out.
“You could totally fire him.”
My head snaps up just in time to catch Lux nodding thoughtfully at Luna’s suggestion. “What?” I whisper-hiss, casting a cautious glance towards the men gathered only a few feet away. “You can’t fire him.”
“She’s the boss.” Eliza grins at her big sister over the edge of the stall she’s mucking out. “She can do whatever she wants.”
My loud groan echoes around the barn. It’s bad enough that the youngest Jackson sibling, ever the eavesdropper, knows about The Hunter Incident—I really don’t need her entertaining any vendetta against him, no matter how playful said vendetta might be.
No matter how twistedly sweet it might be.
It’s been a week since The Incident; The Kiss. An awful, wretched, awkward week. A week in which Hunter hasn’t ignored me, exactly. He’s not even avoiding me. But even when he’s talking to me—when he asked me to help Gaia get used to a scent other than his, when he grumbles a ‘ mornin’ ,’ every time a gruff, gritted tone grunts ‘ you okay? ’—he’s not quite there. He’s like a different person.
I, on the other hand, am killing myself to be exactly the same person I was P.K.—Pre-Kiss. Sure thing , I’d grinned without hesitation, hiding my trembling hands behind my back as I followed him into the pen holding the enormous Shire. Good morning, I always reply, always freaking smile. Of course , I reassure every time, wondering if he sees how that question chips away at the organ in my chest.
Today was no different. Hunter was already at the house when I arrived, fixing himself a cup of coffee. He fixed me one too. Plenty of flavored creamer, no sugar, just the way I like it, but the nice gesture felt empty since he looked so apathetic doing it. I didn’t breathe until he went outside to the training pen where he’s been working all week with Gaia, and then I forced the coffee down like it was mud before throwing myself into my own work.
Luckily, around here, there’s always plenty of that. Lots of things to do to keep my mind off Hunter. Lots for the others to do too; Clyde, the enormous Clydesdale Luna pretends she isn’t in love with, is in desperate need of a wash-down, Eliza has stalls to muck, and there’s a mountain of paperwork weighing down the mountain of feed bags Lux perches atop of.
Yet still, there’s time to harangue me about something I seriously regret ever telling them about. Not that I told half of them—like I said, Eliza overheard, and Luna has the uncanny ability to look at someone and know they’ve been kissed, and an even uncannier ability to extract information you never planned on spilling.
“If you fire every ranch hand who doesn’t wanna kiss me,” I sigh as I deposit feed in Aster’s trough, earning a thankful headbutt, “you’re gonna be all out of options.”
“Guess my job is safe.”
The bucket in my hand clatters to the ground as I startle. Twisting to face the man strutting in the barn wearing a grin like the cat who got the cream, I roll my eyes despite the pink surely painting my skin. “Shut up, Simon.”
The ranch hand winks as he shucks the gloves protecting his hands from the scratchy hay bales he’s spent the past hour unloading. “Just saying. I think I deserve a promotion, actually.”
Bending to retrieve my bucket, I thwack Simon in the stomach on my way past to get more feed. “Stop teasing me.”
“I’m flirting with you, Caroline,” he corrects, wriggling his brows. “Can’t help it. Beautiful women bring it out in me.”
A chorus of groans ring out, accompanied by giggles from Eliza, who looks thoroughly entranced by the older guy’s charm. Poor girl. She’s in for a rude awakening when she learns that charm is fleeting—fuckboys are forever.
“Leave the girl alone.” Lux chucks the pen in her hand at Simon, pinging him square on the forehead. “She’s compliment-averse. Might burst into flames if you keep going.”
Simon slings an arm around my shoulders, but his grip is light enough to shuck him off if I really want to. “Exposure therapy, baby.”
“She can do better.”
My brewing smile abruptly dies. Not because of Jackson striding into the barn, nor because of the claim that’s definitely more of a dig at Simon than a compliment towards me—even if Jackson does shoot me a tentative grin when he says it. No, it’s the man trailing behind him, leading a huge black horse into her stall, that kills my mood.
Hunter doesn’t acknowledge any of us. He just picks up a curry comb and goes to town on Gaia’s dusty coat like none of us are there.
I’m not sure if anyone else notices the sudden chill descending over the barn’s interior, but I do know that Simon definitely doesn’t. Hissing, he presses a hand over his heart and scowls playfully at his boss. “I’m a goddamn catch, Oscar.”
“You know who’s a catch?” Lux quirks a brow, and if I had hackles, they would rise. “Aldo’s cousin…?”
“Roberto,” I finish for her, immediately regretting it when her face lights up with mischief. Luna’s, too.
“The Italian?” The faux-brunette whistles, winking at her boyfriend when he slaps her ass and murmurs a warning. “Maybe he’ll take you to Italy for your birthday.”
Lux’s clipboard whacks me gently on the arm. She teases, “So you’ve got a couple of weeks to make him fall in love with you.”
Simon’s smooth grin dips into my line of sight. “Easy work.”
I jerk an elbow into his ribs before shrugging him off, cupping my flaming cheeks. “Stop.”
They do—kind of. Lux starts whistling something that sounds suspiciously like the tone of ‘ That’s Amore, ’ while Luna daydreams aloud about a trip to the Amalfi Coast, and Simon playfully grumbles about being way better than some Italian, to which Eliza nods enthusiastically. Slowly, their attention turns away from me.
Mine?
Mine strays to the man focusing on brushing down Gaia with strokes as hard as the set of his jaw. Not listening. Not joining in.
Not caring even a little at the thought of me going on a date.
Why the hell was I expecting anything else?
I think I'm going to be sick.
Standing in the parking lot outside the flower market, the hem of my dress clenched between my fingers in a death grip with my other hand splayed across my stomach as some sort of self-comfort, I really think I'm going to be sick.
For the first time ever, the sight of colorful tents does absolutely nothing to soothe me. It does the opposite, actually, because the closer I get, the more imminent what I'm about to do becomes.
I had a string of nightmares last night. A recurring loop of reliving the events of the days previous in vivid, slightly distorted detail. My dad loomed over me. Bigger than he really is, but just as angry as he really was. Yelling and swearing and swiping at me. Then, it switched to my friends from high school laughing at me mockingly, their shrill, thinly-veiled insults ringing in my ears. At one point, Hunter joined the party, along with Lux and Jackson and the rest of the town’s population, faceless forms reveling in my tear-stained face.
I woke up in a cold sweat, the same nausea that plagues me now swirling in my stomach. As I lay there trying to catch my breath, waiting for the nightmare to fade, I was struck with the most overwhelming need for… something . Something different. Something new. Something to break this endless, miserable cycle.
Something determined and quite possibly slightly deranged that’s led to me hovering outside the flower market with what might be my worst idea yet.
Inhaling deeply and letting the floral scent in the air drown out the acrid taste of the bile burning the back of my throat, I force one foot in front of the other. Slowly but surely, I close the distance between me and the Italians I know are both here today because I asked if they would be.
“Come on, Line,” I murmur as I weave my way through the crowd. “You can do it.”
I have to do it. Before my nerve dies, I have to do this.
I catch one glimpse of a familiar, charming man with a thick accent that booms across the market, and I balk.
Crap .
I can't do this.
There is no way I can do this.
But a bellowing voice stops me from backing out.
“ Lina! ” That damn friend of mine hollers loudly, summoning me over with an emphatic wave and mischievous grin.
Damn it.
Adopting a smile that’s almost as rigid as my shoulders, I slope his way, making a conscious effort not to let my eyes stray towards the man at his side. “Good morning.”
Aldo eyes the mottled purple I know paints my undereyes—a result of several nights of lackluster sleep. “You're late today.”
“I had some errands to run.” Like pacing around my apartment, hyping myself up in the mirror, and desperately wishing a sudden bout of illness would give me an inarguable reason to skip out of this ridiculous stab at independence.
Aldo hums his disbelief, one dark brow arching higher than the other. “You remember Roberto, yes?”
I finally drag my gaze towards the illustrious cousin, my heart rate amping up a notch as my palms begin to sweat.
God, he's handsome. Hard-to-look-at kind of handsome. All perfectly groomed and exquisitely chiseled, tall and slender with a certain grace about him. Not at all rugged or hulking or slightly disheveled. I could never imagine Roberto traipsing around a ranch with straw in his hair, dirt on his jeans, a sweat-soaked t-shirt, and being happier for it.
Feeling disappointed is ridiculous, but here I am anyway.
“Hi,” I croak out, offering a dorky wave.
Dark eyes glitter as Roberto waves right back. While I shift on my feet awkwardly, he rounds the booth to stand in front of me, dipping from his tall height to kiss both of my cheeks.
“It's very nice to see you again, Caroline.” If the lips brushing my skin didn’t succeed in thoroughly flustering me, the sound of my name rolling off his tongue finishes the job. “I was hoping I would.”
Clearing my throat, I rub the fabric of my dress between my fingers. “Really?”
Roberto cocks his head, his smile slipping slightly. “I wanted to apologize for what happened the last time we met.”
I copy his frown.
“It seemed I upset your boyfriend,” he means to clarify, but only leaves me more confused. “That wasn't my intention. Aldo implied you were single and I—”
I cut him off, still frowning, “I am single.”
Roberto looks unsure. “So the large cowboy who joined you last time?”
The...
Oh.
“Oh, no.” I shake my head hard enough to give myself whiplash. “He’s not my boyfriend.”
“Ah.” His grin is all teeth, completely dazzling. “I'm glad to hear that.”
“You are?”
“Well, it makes it easier for me to ask you out.”
I choke on... nothing. Literally nothing. Not even air because I'm sure I stop breathing. I splutter wildly, barely managing to get out,“What?”
Roberto doesn't seem at all put out by my fit. In fact, it seems to amuse him. “Would you like to go to dinner with me, Caroline?”
An instinctual rush of panic curls in my gut, and I chastise myself for it. This was the plan, right? This is what I came here for—to score a date. To take Lux’s, Luna’s, freaking everyone’s advice. Even better, he did my job for me, since I’m not the one doing the asking.
This is good , I tell myself, except it seems to be Lux's voice echoing around in my head. It's definitely Lux's influence that straightens my spine, steadies me, guides my head up and down in a nod.
“ Magnifico.” The enthusiasm in his tone makes me jump. His eagerness leaves me kind of shell-shocked, and I blink at him silently as he rattles off details, asking if I've heard of some restaurant a couple of towns over. In my slightly dazed state, I find myself agreeing to have dinner there on Saturday night.
This Saturday. Mere days away. Not the nice, comfortable, lengthy week or so I'd planned to leave myself for preparation.
Yeah, I'm definitely going to be sick.