11. Dahlia #2
“Here, I’ve got some wipes somewhere,” Amanda announced, rifling through her purse until she pulled out a little package of makeup wipes.
I let her clean off my face, scrubbing my smudged mascara off as best she could.
“I wonder if Doc actually went to get water, or if he just wandered off to take a swing at a few reporters,” she mused, and I could tell she was trying to make me laugh.
“I’m sure he wouldn’t actually punch anyone, this is his workplace after all,” I murmured, glancing over to the door. “He was pretty mad though.”
“That’s an understatement. I thought he was going to take out the mayor after his first dumbass comment.
” Amanda smirked. “It was hot, if you asked me, the way he just whisked you away like that. That boy is a real Knight in Shining Armour.” I cocked my eyebrow at her.
He was most definitely not her type, so what the hell was she angling at?
“It’s his job,” I reminded her. “He does work with victims and witnesses all the time, he’s just good at what he does.” I looked down at my lap, smoothing out my blouse, my hands still shaking a little.
“Mmhmm.” Amanda leaned back on the conference table, kicking her legs up restlessly. “Sure thing, babe. I bet he lets all his witnesses snuggle him during a scary movie.” I blushed, shooting her a dirty look.
“That wasn’t anything special, he’s just being nice, it’s all part of the job,” I muttered, and she cackled so hard she nearly tumbled off the table.
“Think about it, who would be genuinely interested in someone who panics every time someone asks them a direct question? I’m homeless, traumatized and held together with sewing materials.
My actual boyfriend wouldn’t even stick around for that, I don’t think I’ll be hitting the dating scene anytime soon.
” I looked down at my hands, picking at a hangnail as I focused on not crying again.
I had a shitty afternoon, I should be allowed to wallow in self-pity for a bit.
I guessed Amanda didn’t think that way though.
Grabbing both of my shoulders roughly, she bent over so her face was right in front of mine.
“Josh was a grade A turd, and we will not speak of that idiot any longer,” she told me, giving me a small shake.
“Stitches heal, apartments are easy enough to find, and… well, the trauma thing will stick around for a while, I guess, but we can get you meds, or a dog, or maybe just a bad habit like functional alcoholism. You haven’t even been home that long, nobody expects you to bounce back to your old self overnight.
” Her face was so close, her nose was brushing mine, and she shook me again, gently this time.
“Snap out of this downward spiral before I have to get nasty because you know I will. I’ll make Doc look like a Carebear, and then you’ll wish you’d never been rescued. ”
I laughed, fighting past the lump in my throat.
She gave me a sloppy kiss on the forehead and then pushed my chair, letting it roll backward until it hit the wall.
We were still laughing when Hunter walked back in.
“Alright Dahlia, how about we get you out of here?” He smiled.
I nodded gratefully, and we followed him out and down the hall.
He took us the long way to avoid any lingering reporters, and it wasn’t until we reached his SUV that I realized we were missing someone.
“Is Asher coming with us?” I asked, looking around, Hunter frowned and shook his head, opening my door for me to hop inside. Amanda followed suit, leaving Hunter alone in the front of the vehicle.
“No, he needs to take care of a few things here,” he replied shortly, and I bit my lip, hoping he didn’t get in trouble for his outburst earlier.
We stopped for food on the way back to the hotel, and Amanda and I ate pizza while watching reruns of Jeopardy on the couch.
She eventually had to go home—her work wasn’t as forgiving about her taking time off since she wasn’t the one who’d actually been kidnapped.
Once she left, I went to lay down, leaving Hunter outside to work.
It was weird not having Asher around, he’d basically been a constant fixture in my life since they’d found me.
But I guessed it made sense, he did have his own life outside of this case and he wasn’t going to be around forever, anyway.
Eventually, Curing would be caught, and I wouldn’t need to hide behind FBI agents with guns anymore.
Still, his absence hurt a bit, for reasons I couldn’t really explain.
I decided to have a nice long bath and soak off the day, making sure to remember and scrub the rest of the makeup off so I didn’t smear it all over the pillow and wake up looking like a raccoon.
I felt moderately better as I pulled on my pajamas and curled up in the hotel bed.
I wished there was a TV in the room so I could put something on to listen to while I fell asleep, but I’d have to go and sleep on the couch if I wanted to do that.
I sighed and forced myself to get comfortable in the silence.
I wasn’t feeling up to having company tonight, and I knew from the light under my door that Hunter was still outside working.
I guessed I managed to drift off at some point because I woke up with a gasp a few hours later, sitting up in bed and looking around wildly.
My heart was racing, and I threw off the covers, climbing out of the bed and pacing across the room to the bathroom.
I didn’t remember this dream, but I knew it was bad from how my hands were shaking as I splashed cold water on my face, trying to calm myself down.
Water didn’t help much, and I stormed back into my room, keyed up and anxious.
I couldn’t lay back down, not right now.
I checked, and it looked like the lights were off outside, so Hunter must’ve gone to bed.
I opened the door and crept out, watching my step in the unfamiliar darkness, heading for the fridge.
The light blinded me momentarily, and I blinked, looking around to see if there was anything besides liquids inside.
“Couldn’t sleep?” a voice asked, and I yelped and spun around, smacking into the person standing behind me.
My adrenaline was still surging from my nightmare, so I didn’t hesitate to swing out blindly, my fist making contact with something solid, and I heard a small grunt, followed by a rough laugh. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
“Asher? Oh my god.” I groped for the light switch, wincing when I found it and the kitchen was flooded with brightness.
Sure enough, Asher was leaning back against the little table, rubbing his jaw with a rueful smile on his face.
He still had some tightness around his eyes that told me he was still angry from earlier today.
“Fuck, I’m so sorry,” I mumbled, going back in the fridge for a can of soda.
It wasn’t an ice pack, but it was cold and should help a bit.
I brought it over to him, holding it up against his face where a red mark was already showing.
“It’s not your fault. I thought you saw me on the couch when you walked out.
I should know better than to risk scaring you at this point.
” He smiled, his fingers brushing against mine as he moved to hold the can to his face.
Heat flared in my stomach, and I dropped my hand like it was on fire, backing up toward the fridge.
“I didn’t even know you were here. When did you get in?” I asked, looking toward the door to the second room. “Is Hunter still here, or did you guys swap out?”
“I just got in a little while ago. Hunter was already asleep so I just sent him a text letting him know not to shoot me when he wakes up.” Asher smiled wanly. He looked even more tired than usual, I wondered what had happened after we’d left today. “What are you doing up so late?”
I shrugged, rubbing my arms absently. “The usual bad dream,” I explained.
“I guess that’s why I’m a bit on edge still.
” He brought the can down away from his jaw, his forehead creasing in concern.
“I was just coming to grab… something. I don’t know, really.
” I sighed, opening the fridge again. I grabbed a little bottle of liquor off the shelf at random.
It would do in the absence of chocolate or ice cream.
“Um, do you need to shower or anything? You can use my bathroom if you like, I won’t be going to sleep for a while,” I offered.
Asher laughed, running a hand through his hair. “Sorry, do I smell that bad?” he asked, and I flushed.
“No, you don’t smell. Just, if you wanted to wash off the day, I meant. I have a hard time winding down after work if I can’t shower or have a bath or something,” I rambled, feeling dumber by the second. He laughed again softly, his eyes sparkling in the dim light.
“Actually, that sounds really great, if you’re sure you don’t mind.
I normally would shower after work, but I didn’t want to wake Hunter up when I got in.
” He smiled. I walked over to my bedroom door and let him in, trailing after him awkwardly.
I sat down on the bed and waited until he disappeared into the bathroom before cracking open the little bottle of what turned out to be rum, sipping it with a small grimace.
Asher must’ve showered with military precision, because it only took ten minutes before I heard the water shut off.
I finished off the rest of my little bottle and put the cap back on, twirling it around in my fingers absently.
My gaze shot up when the door cracked open and Asher walked out.
He was still pulling his shirt back on, and I caught another glimpse of his toned stomach before the fabric covered it.
His hair was slicked back and still damp from the shower.
He looked somewhat more relaxed, and his jaw was no longer red, so thankfully I hadn’t bruised him.
I dropped my eyes before he could catch me staring, focusing on spinning the little bottle in my hand.
“Thanks again.” He smiled, stopping at the door.
“Are you going to try to fall back asleep?”
“Ya, I guess I should,” I murmured. I was not sure how I would at this point, but if I laid down with my eyes closed for long enough, maybe it would happen eventually.
“Do you want to tell me about the dream? That seemed to help a bit last time,” he offered, taking a step toward me.
“I don’t really remember this one.” I sighed, frowning. “It seems to always be the same thing, though. I’m trapped and unable to move, and he’s just there, about to hurt me.” I shivered and rubbed my bare arms to get rid of the goosebumps that had formed.
“I’m really sorry.” Asher sighed. “And I’m sure today didn’t help either.” I shook my head, biting my lip.
Finally, I couldn’t avoid the question anymore, it sort of bubbled up out of me.
“Did you get in trouble today? For yelling at that woman for me?” I asked softly, and he frowned for a split second before laughing.
I blushed and picked at the label on the little bottle in my hand, feeling like an idiot.
“No, I didn’t get in trouble. I just had to meet with my unit supervisor, and then I had a check in with my therapist,” he explained, shoving his hands in his pockets.
“Oh, I uh, sorry. I didn’t know,” I stammered. Asher was seeing a therapist? That was news to me.
“It’s required after you return from stress leave,” Asher told me. “I had to take some time off after our last case went south and I didn’t handle things as well as I should have.” His face darkened momentarily, and a thousand questions leapt into my head.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” I murmured. “Did what happened today remind you of it?” That would explain why he’d gotten so mad.
“Sort of… it’s hard to explain.” Asher shrugged, looking down at his feet. “I guess… sometimes I just have to be reminded that not everything is within my control.”
“Maybe you need to focus on the things that are, and then just… trust that someone else can handle the rest,” I offered, and he chuckled, running a hand through his damp hair.
“You’re probably right,” Asher mused, his lip quirking up in a half-smile. “Speaking of which, you should try to get some rest. Don’t worry about the nightmares. If one comes, I’ll be right outside, maybe I’ll borrow some SWAT gear,” he teased, and I wrinkled my nose at him.
“Goodnight Ash,” I replied, pulling back the covers to crawl back into bed. He gave me a small wave and shut off the light for me, closing the door behind him. I fell back to sleep a little easier, knowing he was right outside.