Chapter 11 #2
“Sometimes I think to myself, just jump him,” she said. “Just do it.”
“I’m all for that,” he said fervently.
“But then I look at you, really look at you, and I see a pain there. I don’t know what it is; missing your job, your life, or something else, but seeing it makes my heart squeeze.” She sighed. “I can’t lust after you and have it be simple if when I look into your eyes my heart squeezes.”
“I can cover my face so you can’t see my eyes.”
“Stop it. Stop making light of this.”
His smile faded, and he came around to kneel in front of her. “I am missing my world, you know that. Being out here is forcing me to think about things, make decisions that I don’t want to make.”
“Like selling the ranch.”
“Like selling,” he agreed. “Even when doing so to save my ass ends up changing others’ lives. I don’t want to do that to you, to any of you.”
“I know.”
“Being here, seeing what this place means to all of you, knowing I have to sell…it sucks.”
“Sometimes life sucks.”
“And then there’s you and me.”
“No, there’s not.”
“We have to face it, Callie.”
“Well, whatever it is, it’s going to have to be willing to take its time,” she said. “Because my head is full. So is yours.”
“That’ll be new, taking my time with a woman. How’s the headache now?”
“Better, thanks to you.” She stood and slipped into her shirt. “I’m sorry I yelled at you. I was embarrassed to be caught lying around in my underwear. It made me feel vulnerable.”
“Everyone feels vulnerable sometimes.”
“Even you?”
“Honey, I feel vulnerable every time I look at you.”
“That’s a pathetic come-on line.”
“That wasn’t a come-on line. It was the truth. And so was me being worried about you. I’m sorry I barged in like that. But someone’s screwing with you out here. I don’t like it.”
“Someone’s screwing with the ranch.”
“It seems more personal than that. How sure are you about the crew—”
“Extremely.”
“Stone drinks. Lou’s boss says he’s a cheat. Amy won’t look me in the eye. How can you be sure about any of them?”
She finished buttoning herself and put her hands on her hips. “Which actually brings us to another point,” she said. “Have you noticed that this all started after you came here? Maybe someone’s messing with you.”
“No, that doesn’t make any sense. Unless Tucker—”
“No,” she said firmly. “You know your brother better than that.”
“Actually, I don’t. He won’t let me in.”
“He feels betrayed. Deserted.”
“He told you that?”
“It’s obvious. You dumped him here and never looked back.”
“Yeah, that’s what I did.” He scrubbed a hand over his face, feeling his own headache coming on. “We used to be close.”
“What happened?”
“I don’t know.” He let out a harsh breath. “That’s not true. A lot happened.”
“Like what?”
“When I was young, my mother traveled extensively.”
“For her job?”
“You could say that. Her career was marrying men. She was gone a lot, even after Tucker was born. So I took care of him.” At the time it’d been about survival, for the both of them.
It hadn’t been until later that he’d realized how much Tucker had meant to him.
“Then I turned seventeen, graduated high school, and my mother got her fifth or sixth divorce. She had more time and realized how close Tucker and I were. She hated that.”
“I don’t think I like your mother.”
He laughed a little. “No, you wouldn’t. Tucker was five and pretty self-contained.
So she kicked me out and replaced all the men in her life with Tucker.
And he became the center of her world. I went to San Diego, and they moved around a lot after that.
I kept track of them the best I could, but she made it difficult.
When I called, she didn’t want him to talk to me. ”
“So Tucker thinks you left when he was five and never looked back?”
“I don’t know what he thinks.”
“He’s glad you’re here now.”
“Really? Because he just warned me to stay away from you or else.”
Callie blinked. “What?”
“Yeah. He thinks I’m going to do this.” He stepped close, bent his head, and kissed her. “And this…” Pulling her close, he deepened the kiss.
With another of those sexy little sounds, she wrapped her arms around his neck, arched against him, and danced her tongue to his.
And just like that, Jake was a goner, a complete goner as he glided his hands up her body, holding her face still because he couldn’t get enough.
He was deathly afraid he could never get enough.
Their bodies collided, shifted, and hungry for more he took it—until a shaft of pain shot through his shoulder.
“Sorry,” she gasped, and tried to pull free, but he held on to her.
“It’s okay, it’s okay,” he promised, thinking he’d take a thousand more hits like that, if she’d only stay close.
But she backed away. “You should go.”
“What? Why?”
“Because I need to think.”
“About…?”
“About all this. About you. About me. The way I throw myself in heart first.”
He stared at her, suddenly knowing where this was going.
“It’s just me,” she said. “Throwing myself in without looking. It’s how I work, even knowing I’m going to sink like a stone. And I’d do that here, with you, but Jake, I can’t be the only one.”
She already knew him that well, knew he’d never throw himself in and follow his heart.
“I think your idea of taking our time was a good one,” she said softly.
Caught by his own damn logic.
“Good-night, Jake.” She smiled when he continued to stare at her, befuddled. “Say good-night back.”
What choice did he have? He wanted her, so badly he could hardly see straight, but he couldn’t promise to toss his heart in for the ride, and hell if he’d lie to her. His body came free, no vows, no ties. But even an untried heart such as his knew that love came at a price, a heavy one.
And he wasn’t willing to pay. “Good-night, Callie.”
She stood there looking at him, skin glowing, eyes soft. Her nipples were still hard beneath her camisole. He closed his eyes, stepped to the door. “Lock it behind me.”
The sound of the lock tumbling into place echoed into the night.