Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
“Jake.”
With a sigh, he pulled back and stroked a long, wet curl out of Callie’s face.
“I’m not quite as emotionally challenged as you,” she whispered. “I can’t separate sex and emotion like you can.”
“Hey, give a guy a handicap.” His finger rimmed over her ear now, and her breathing went shallow. Quite a satisfying reaction. “I’m just a little slow, but I’m catching on.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means that even I, an emotionally challenged male, can figure out this isn’t just sex. Not between us.”
She stared at him, eyes wide.
“Yeah. Terrifying, I know.” Jake drew her hands down to her sides, then slipped his jacket off her shoulders. It fell to the floor. “Worse than running into a burning building, I’ll tell you that.”
Thunder rolled. In the ensuing flash of lightning, her eyes were luminous.
He knew she was afraid of getting too attached.
Well, damn it, he was already attached, far more than he wanted to be, so she should suffer the same as he.
He dropped to his knees and tugged at a foot until she lifted it.
He slipped off one boot, and then the other, tossing both over his shoulder.
“We can’t do this, Jake.”
“Why not?” His fingers went to the button on her jeans. Pop. The rasp of her zipper came next. In the open wedge of the denim, he saw sheer black lace and groaned.
“For a million reasons.”
“Name one.”
“Okay.” She hesitated. “I had you already, and I still want you.”
“I want you too.” He ran a finger over the lace. “I want you a lot.”
“Yes, but you’re…” She seemed to have trouble speaking, so he surged back up to his feet, took her hand, and directed her into her bathroom.
There he flicked on the shower and waited for it to start steaming.
Turning to her, he put his hands on the buttons of her blouse.
She covered his fingers with her own shaking ones.
“You’re bigger than life, Jake. You’re wild and adventurous, and everything I’m not. ”
“Are you kidding me?” He had to laugh at that.
“I’ve been here, what, a month now? Every single day you’re either racing across the rough ground on the back of a twelve-hundred-pound fickle animal, or you’re shimmying up the hay barn on a rickety ladder, or you’re taking a bunch of stupid kids out into the wilderness.
Jesus, Callie. Are you really going to try to tell me your life out here isn’t as wild and adventurous as it gets? ”
“It’s real,” she said simply.
“And what, mine isn’t?”
“Your life as a firefighter is real, intensely so. And dangerous, and admirable too. You’re a hero.”
“But? Because I sure as hell hear a big but at the end of that sentence.”
“But when you’re not working, your life is city. It’s women. It’s just having a good time in between shifts.”
“Callie—”
“And if that’s not enough, if you need another reason, then fine.” She crossed her arms. “You’re not my type.”
“Well, if that’s true, then you’ll be left completely unmoved by this.” He slid his arms around her wet body and dipped his head.
“Jake—”
“Shh. It’s just a kiss.” A bigger lie he’d never told.
“You’re not afraid of a little kiss, are you, Callie?
” He settled his mouth against hers. Deep, wet, and instantly hot, he had her clinging to him two seconds in, but actually, the clinging might have been mutual.
Pulling back a fraction, he looked down into her surprised, aroused, frustrated face.
“If I’m not your type, then why do you melt all over me when I do that? ”
She let out a sound, but didn’t stop him when he reached down to unbutton her wet shirt. She was breathless, and the pulse at the base of her neck leapt wildly.
“Damn, you’re soft,” he said. “Sexy as hell, too. I can’t keep my hands off you, Callie.”
Another sound came from deep in her throat, and eyes closed, she slid her fingers into his hair and held on.
Enjoying that, he dragged more open-mouthed kisses down her throat as he slid the blouse off her shoulders.
“All you ever wear are jeans and work shirts, and all I ever think about is what you have on beneath them.” He stroked a finger over the black lace bra that matched her panties. Her nipples pebbled against the lace.
Her hands slid from his hair, fisting on his shirt right above his heart, holding on for what felt like dear life.
“Love it when you do that,” he said roughly. “When you make that little sound…”
She made it now, breathing heavily over the sound of the driving rain hitting the roof.
He loved that, too, that he affected her so strongly, but he wished he didn’t have to coax her into these hot embraces, into admitting she felt something for him.
“Should I point out here that you clearly are enjoying my type?”
“Shut up and kiss me.” But she kissed him first, with all she had, while steam rose all around them.
Thunder rattled the small bathroom window, and he held this amazing woman and wondered how it would feel when he went home, without her in his life on a daily basis.
He looked up at the same time the lightning flashed, looked right into her eyes as she gently touched her mouth to his with a questioning light in her gaze. “You okay?”
He kissed the line furrowed between her brow, then the bridge of her nose, feeling an almost overwhelming sense of tenderness. “Yeah.” He wanted to scoop her up, but that was beyond him after dragging Smithy through the raging water, so he took her hand and opened the shower door. “Get in.”
She dropped her bra and panties and stepped in.
He watched her silhouette as the scent of the soap she ran over her body teased his nostrils much like her outline was doing.
When she turned off the water, he tossed her a towel over the glass.
She came out wrapped in it. He took her hand again, led her to her futon couch.
They sank upon it. Callie tugged at his shirt, and he obliged her, lifting his left arm. “Can’t lift my right all the way yet,” he whispered.
“Then let me,” she whispered back, and rearing up, kissed his right shoulder before carefully, slowly, maneuvering his shirt off without disturbing his shoulder.
She stroked a finger over his bare flesh and then kissed the long incision scar before lifting her gaze to his. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You’re not.” She was only killing him.
She went to her knees, having to straddle him so she didn’t fall off the futon, and went to work on the buttons of his Levi’s, concentrating hard, the tip of her tongue resting on her upper lip.
Finally, she managed to rid him of his rain-spattered clothing.
He pulled off her towel, tugged her down over the top of him, and kissed her.
Her breasts bore into his chest, the heat between her legs rested on the part of him desperate for a repeat performance of a night from all those weeks ago.
Unable to take it anymore, he reared up, and when that didn’t hurt, he tumbled her over, tucking her beneath him.
“That’s an improvement,” she gasped.
“Isn’t it?” He settled between her sprawled legs and gently took her face between his hands. “I have several condoms this time.”
“Well, by all means, get one.”
She helped him put it on, by which time he was trembling like a damned baby. He couldn’t wait to experience the almost unbearable erotic sensation of her wet flesh tugging on his every time he thrust into her.
She ran her hands up his arms. “I need a time frame on this thing, Jake. A beginning, a middle. An end.”
“Well, we’ve had our beginning.” Lowering his head, he took a nip out of her throat, which caused a satisfying reaction to her pulse.
“We’ll have our middle tonight, all night.
” He kissed his way over her collarbone, and cupped a breast. She was having trouble breathing again, which sent a surge of possessive pride and heat right through him.
“And the end?”
“It’s not tonight,” he promised, his thumb making several passes over her nipple while he watched it react to his touch.
She hummed deep in her throat and arched up. “Spell it out for me, Jake.”
“All right, but I’m not very good at spelling things out.” He kept his hands on her warm, gorgeous body. “I like you. I like you a lot.” Her eyes darkened, and he touched his forehead to hers. “And I’m scared shitless it’s more than like.”
Her fingers sank into his hair. “How much more?”
“I’ve never wanted another woman like I want you.
Never,” he said, tracing her mouth with his thumb.
“But as for where it’s going, or what we’ll do with it, I don’t know.
I’m facing a lawsuit, the possibility of never being able to fight fires—” Horrifying him, his voice cracked, and he shook his head.
“Oh, Jake.”
“Look, I have no future to offer you. You can either live with that, or walk away.”
Her eyes were huge on his, and wet. “I can’t imagine being told I can’t do what I love anymore. I’m so sorry—”
“Don’t,” he said softly when a single tear spilled over. “Don’t.”
“You have so much to offer,” she said fiercely. “No matter what you end up doing. So very much.”
“If you really believe that, then of the two options, I hope walking away isn’t the one you pick.”
“But what about when you walk away? When you go back?”
“There’s this new-fangled contraption called an airplane.” He heard the words come out of his mouth with some surprise. Alien concept, a future with a woman.
“You’re not going to want to come back here.”
“Maybe you’ll come to me.”
“Maybe.”
“So does that mean you’re in?” he whispered.
“No.” Callie watched the disappointment flash across his face, then slipped a hand down his belly, wrapping her fingers around him, guiding him to her. “You’re in.”