Chapter 41 Daniel
DANIEL
The backstage of the event was ten times more chaotic than the front, and in this mess, I had to find Elliot. Searching through the busy room, I couldn’t hear myself think, let alone track him down, even though it had only been a couple of minutes since his fall.
My stomach turned, replaying that moment and how he must have hurt himself. But shaking out of it, I grabbed someone’s shoulder.
“Where’s Elliot?”
The man, who looked like one of the models himself, pointed over his shoulder. “He’s in the first aid room in the back, being checked by a medic.”
I let go of him at once and walked in the direction he pointed at. The further I went down the halls, the more the noise died down, until it was almost possible to forget an event was taking place in this building.
“Could you tell me where the first aid room is?” I asked a passerby who was carrying some boxes in her arms.
“Down the hall, then to the right. You can’t miss it.”
Following her direction, I reached the room. While the door was closed, I could hear voices coming from inside, and knowing better than to interrupt, I decided to wait until the door opened. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and leaned back against the wall.
“What a shitshow,” I grunted, rubbing the bridge of my nose. When I imagined how tonight would go, Elliot suffering a fall on the runway definitely wasn’t included.
Time went by, and the door remained closed. Getting impatient, I pushed back from the wall and checked my watch. What’s taking them so long? If it was just a minor injury, they should have been out already. Unless it wasn’t minor—
“Daniel?”
I turned around to find Claudia standing a few feet away. Wonderful. Immediately straightening up, I cleared my throat. “Hey.”
She narrowed her eyes at me, which made sense, given the fact that I shouldn’t be here.
“I’m looking for the bathroom,” I said, an apologetic smile plastered on my face to cover up my lie.
“Are you?”
“Eh… Yes.” Her face still seemed dull when I realized my mistake. “Great show, by the way. Truly, amazing as always.”
She snorted before looking down at the floor and shaking her head.
“I see where he gets his audacity from,” she muttered.
“I’m sorry?”
Looking up, she glared at me. “You think I’m an idiot, don’t you? Looking for the bathroom, my ass.” She tsked. “At this point, the least you can do is stop lying.”
I gawked at her, my jaw going slack as her words fully set in. When I realized what she’d just said, it felt as if the floor dropped away beneath me, leaving me to skydive without a parachute.
“Given your shock, I understand that he didn’t tell you that I know?” Her mouth thinned with displeasure. “Having lies so early in the relationship is a bad thing, Daniel. Although I assume it’s a given, considering how the relationship in question started.”
“Claudia—”
“But what would I know about giving relationship advice?” She snorted. “I was married to a liar for years and didn’t know until he cheated on me with a kid.”
A sharp, hot spike of anger stabbed through my core, and I forced my hands into fists.
“He’s not a kid.”
“He’s twenty-one, for God’s sake. Nineteen when you met him.” She huffed, eyes not leaving mine. “He’s more suitable to be Catherine’s boyfriend than yours,” she hissed, and I was embarrassed for even trying to correct her to begin with, because she was right.
“He’s mature for his age—”
She cut me off with a short laugh. “I see your father taught you well, huh? What else? Was it just a fling that got out of hand? You felt lonely in our relationship and needed to fill the void? One cocktail that led to another and you woke up in his bed? Wait… You didn’t knock him up, did you?”
While my father had used those lines more times than I could count, my love for Elliot was genuine, and the fact that she implied it resembled my father’s affairs in any way was an insult.
I knew Elliot was young, but our connection ran deep beyond age.
And as cliché as it sounded, he’d taught me more about myself and life than anyone ever had.
Therefore, Claudia’s rage, as justified as it might be, wouldn’t change that fact.
Ignoring her previous statements, I asked, “When did you find out?”
“A while ago.”
“So why didn’t you say anything?”
“I needed time to find the words… which I still don’t have, if I’m honest.” Her voice dripped with spite.
I sighed, moving my hand over my face. “How did you find out?”
“Would it help if I said?”
I realized how much I’d hurt her when she used my own words against me, as this was the same thing I’d told her when she asked me who I cheated on her with. But always being the kind one between us, Claudia went on answering my question.
“If you must know, I went to our jeweler to clean my wedding ring. I guess old habits die hard, right?” She huffed, tucking one loose curl behind her ear.
“While there, he said a new pair of sapphire earrings just arrived, one that would be perfect with the sapphire necklace you bought for me last year. You can imagine my confusion, because what necklace… and then it hit me.” She snapped her fingers.
“You did buy a gorgeous sapphire necklace, just not for me.”
Shocked that this was how my secret got out, I stared at her, completely dumbstruck.
Thinking about it now, buying Elliot’s gift from our jeweler truly was an idiotic decision on my behalf, but it never crossed my mind that Claudia would find out this way.
Now realizing how disgustingly arrogant I’d been, there was nothing to say.
“That beautiful, blue sapphire… It really does match his eyes, doesn’t it?”
My pulse was increasingly high as cold sweat covered my skin. Nervous, I gulped while loosening my tie.
“W-what about my father, does he know?”
“What about me?” she snapped, voice a bit louder. “The ink has yet to dry on our divorce papers, and yet here you are, living a new life with a man, no less.”
Startled, I looked around to check we were still alone.
“So, I’m asking, what about me, Daniel?” She sniffed, tears in her furious eyes. “How did this even happen? When did it start? Was any part of our marriage even real?”
Every question she had was valid, and yet, overwhelmed by all of it, I found myself without a single answer. Instead, I continued to stare at her hurt expression. There was no way for me to fix it, no outcome without her getting further hurt, because the truth was that I did lie to her for years.
Just then, the door to the room opened and closed, and a paramedic walked out. Noticing Claudia and me in the hall, he nodded at the two of us before moving on.
And while I was eager to go and see Elliot, I knew I first owed Claudia the truth. As unpleasant as it might be.
“I’m gay,” I said out loud for the very first time. And while it wasn’t the best way to come out, far from it even, there was still a sense of liberation those words carried. But then, I paused and focused back on Claudia, and the great unfairness my truth had caused her.
“And it isn’t some new revelation. I knew about it all along.”
“So why? Why did you marry me?”
“Because—” I took a deep breath. “—after meeting you, I knew that if I had any chance of falling for a woman, it would be you.”
Her brows knitted together, and her shoulders slumped. “And? Did you?”
The hope in her eyes was almost too much to bear, and I wished I could have told her a simple yes to make her feel good. But unfortunately—
“I loved you, Claudia, I still do, but not in the way I should have.”
“You mean, not like you love him.”
My throat tightened with the pain I’d caused us.
“I’m so sorry for hurting you. I never planned to be unfaithful, and I know it’s not an excuse, but when I met him…” I shook my head. “Everything changed.”
She stepped closer. “And if you hadn’t met him, what did you plan to do then, huh? Would you have stayed and led me on for years? What about our daughter, did you ever stop to think about her?”
“All the time.”
Her face twisted with anger.
“That’s bullshit. You say you’re sorry, but you don’t know a shred of how you’ve hurt me and her.” Tears now followed her words. “I’m not a fool. I know why you felt the need to live a lie. But to drag me into this? To bring a child into this messed-up life?”
“I love Maya with all my heart,” I hastily declared, my voice shaking at her insinuation that I didn’t. “And I never wanted to hurt her on purpose.”
“But you did,” Claudia snarled, eyes furious.
“And you know what the sad thing is? It’s that if you were only honest with me since the beginning, you would have had a real friend in this fucked-up world you live in, but no.
You chose to be a coward. And a liar. And a cheater.
” She jabbed her finger in my chest with each word.
“The worst part? Is that I loved you. I really did. I loved you with every part of myself, but you didn’t even have the shred of dignity to respect that love. ”
She took a step back and wiped away her tears. “We have a lot more to discuss, but not now. Not here. I deserve more than—” She waved around us. “—whatever this is.”
I nodded. “Okay.”
Her mouth tightened into a thin line before she took a deep breath.
“I’ll probably forgive you with time. Not because you deserve it, but because our daughter does. But him?” Her lips curled with anger as she pointed at the room Elliot was in. “Never.”
She turned to walk away but stopped and glanced at me one more time. “And to answer your question, I didn’t tell your father. If only you’d really tried to get to know me in the decade we spent together, you’d know I’d never betray you that way.”
Finishing what she had to say, Claudia didn’t wait for my response and left. While I still wasn’t sure how I felt about what had just happened, now wasn’t the time to process it.