Chapter 42 Daniel #2
“No, no, no.” My heart sank when I saw I’d gained one pound, and I quickly got off the scale.
But what did I expect? Lazing in bed all morning, no wonder I’d gained weight.
Looking up at the mirror, I was horrified at my reflection—I was too big, way too big.
At this pace, I’d lose my job, and if that were to happen, what would Daniel say?
How would he look at me if I failed in that, too?
Everything I’d worked so hard to achieve was starting to slip between my fingers, and I was losing control.
Understanding I had no other choice, I left the scale on the floor and limped toward the closet. It was supposed to be such a short walk, only a few meters away, and yet with a leg I could hardly step on, the distance was immeasurable.
Going for a run wouldn’t only help me keep lean, but it would clear my mind from all those thoughts—as it always did. Afterward, I’d probably be too tired to even imagine Daniel leaving me, right?
After a little bit of struggle, I was able to put on my running shorts and a shirt.
Now down to my socks and shoes, I took a deep breath.
I had no problem with my left foot, but when I tried sliding the sock on my right foot, the immense pain made me scream.
My ankle was swollen, and the slightest shift felt like someone had struck it with a hammer.
Still, I had to go out for my jog, so I bit my lips and tried again.
Tears clogged my vision as I slowly slipped it over my toes and up my heel.
My breath hitched as I made small pauses, and I sobbed through the pain until I managed to put it on.
My lips curled into a weak smile of victory, and now it was time for the shoe—
“Elliot?”
I looked up in surprise to see Daniel standing at the entrance to the closet, a deep crease on his forehead.
“O-oh, you’re home early,” I said, a smile on my face, while still holding my shoe.
“I’m here to take you to the doctor.”
That’s right, I had an appointment for my leg.
“What on earth are you doing?”
Looking around me, I saw the mess I’d left behind. “Oh, I… I’m sorry. I’ll clean it up.”
“Who cares about the damn clothes.” He crouched in front of me and slipped the shoe out of my hand. “You’re supposed to be resting.”
I jerked my head back. “I want to go for a run.”
“A run?” He grimaced. “What are you talking about? Come, we’ll get you back to bed.” He then wrapped his arm around my waist and helped me up.
“N-no. I want to go for a jog.” I placed my hand on his chest, noticing it was sticky. Why?
“Stop speaking nonsense. You have a sprained ankle. You must rest,” he said, grabbing my attention back as he began leading us into the room.
“I want to run,” I protested.
“You can’t.”
“I have to.” I shoved him harder when he finally paused, only to stare at me in confusion.
“Why on earth would you want to go out running when you can hardly stand?” he hissed.
I glanced over his shoulder at the bathroom and at the scale left on the floor before turning back to look at him. Daniel noticed it and also looked back, realization sinking in on his face.
My chest turned heavy, and I felt like I’d been caught, so I decided I might as well confess.
“I weigh too much,” I said, voice weak and full of fear.
I thought that now he’d understand and let me go, but instead, he gripped me harder.
“What are you saying?” He stared at me like I was speaking a different language.
“I just want to go on a run,” I muttered, scratching my wrist, which had turned itchy.
“How much do you weigh?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
He tightened his hold.
“Tell me, now.”
Shrugging, I looked anywhere but at him. “I-I don’t know.”
Before I knew it, he pulled me after him into the bathroom.
“W-wait.” I tried resisting by not moving, but instead, he picked me up. “Put me down!”
“Not until we weigh you.”
“Daniel, this is unfair!” I yelled, tears choking my throat.
“I don’t fucking care,” he shouted.
Shocked by his reaction, I pressed my lips shut and stopped fighting him.
Reaching the bathroom, he put me on the floor, his face a mask of seriousness as he crossed his arms and waited behind me.
I glanced at him when he nudged his head in the direction of the scale.
That damn scale. If only I had put it away, none of this would have happened.
Swallowing down my tears, I wiped my nose, then carefully stepped on it, closing my eyes so I wouldn’t see that damn number again.
“Jesus Christ, Elliot,” Daniel gasped, his voice choked like he was on the verge of crying.
I’d never heard him that way, and scared, I slowly opened my eyes and got off the scale.
“C-can I go running now?”
“Running?” He gaped at me, his face pale. I then noticed his clothes were stained with something, which explained the stickiness. “Are you serious? You weigh—”
I flinched as he said the number aloud.
“—for fuck’s sake.” He ran a hand through his hair while shaking his head. “And you’re what, six foot one?”
I tried to smile at him. “B-but I look good?”
“No!” he snapped. “You look sick, Elliot. You’re… you’re unwell.”
My eyes grew wider, and betrayed, I glared at him. “You always say I’m beautiful, now all of a sudden I’m not?”
“I-it’s not like that,” he hissed.
“So what is it?” I yelled, and it felt like my voice was scratching the inside of my throat.
He pointed at the scale, the veins on his neck bulging. “I didn’t know about this.”
My rage spiked, and I clenched my hands into fists. “I look good, so why does it matter?”
“You don’t see the problem?”
“No,” I snarled, then shoved him out of my way. “I’m going running.”
“Like hell you are.” He grabbed my body, his arms wrapped around me like chains.
“Let go of me.” I struggled in his hold, scratching his arm in the process. “Let go!”
“No,” he argued, snugging me closer.
“Fuck!” I shouted and, without thinking twice, slapped him across the face. “Let me go, or I will leave you! I will. I’ll leave if you don’t let go of me right now!”
Finally realizing he was in the wrong, Daniel dropped me, and I was free.
Good.
“You can’t tell me what to do,” I said, pushing my hair away from my face while steadying myself on one leg. “I would rather die than not go out and run right now.”
Thinking I made perfect sense, I took Daniel’s silence for agreement. But when I turned to look at him and saw the tears in his eyes, something inside me broke.
It was the first time I’d ever seen him cry, and it left me scared. Between the two of us, he was the strong one, so how come something so silly made him cry? And it wasn’t our first fight. We fought all the time, so… why?
“Daniel?”
I tried holding his stare, but he refused to look me in the eyes.
“You’re unwell, Elliot.”
Taken aback, I scowled at him. “What?”
He brushed away his tears before looking at me, and apparently, crying made his eyes so painfully beautiful that I never wanted to see such sadness again.
“You need professional help. It’s my fault for not noticing it sooner, but now—” He paused, waving back at that stupid scale. “We have to get you help, Elliot. A therapist or something, I don’t know.”
My pulse escalated, and I shook my head, afraid of the words coming out of his mouth.
“No, no, you don’t get it.” I forced a smile.
“I’m a model—it’s my job to be thin. Okay?
” I tried making him look me in the eyes again, but he kept his head down.
“Daniel, I swear, I’m fine. I eat healthy, and I work out, that’s all. ”
“You’re lying.”
“D-don’t you remember?” My lips trembled as I attempted to smile. “I never lie.”
“But you do.”
My heart dropped, and panicking, I placed my hand against his cheek. I couldn’t afford him interrupting my routine. I couldn’t allow anyone to mess with how I worked out and what I ate. It was something that no one but me would understand. It was my thing. My life.
I grabbed his jaw and tilted his head up.
“If I stay in bed and rest, would that make you feel better?” I asked, using my thumb to clean away his tears. “I can stay in bed tomorrow, too. I can. Really. Just, don’t cry.”
He placed his hand on top of mine.
“Elliot—”
“Please, Daniel, you have to trust me. Other than my ankle, I’m healthy.
You see my body every day… when you fuck me, you love it, right?
You always tell me I’m so pretty, so just think about that while I promise to rest.” I nodded, meaning every word.
“How about you carry me to the bed now? I won’t mind it, I swear.
Just promise me you won’t call any doctor.
” I caressed his face, my lips quivering.
“I’m sorry I hit you. I didn’t mean to.” I moved my fingers over the slight bruise I’d left on his cheek. “Please, it was a mistake, I swear.”
Something crossed his eyes before he closed them and let out a deep sigh. Afraid he’d bring up all that “getting me help” nonsense again, I jerked closer.
“Daniel?”
“Let’s take you to bed.”
I relaxed at once, happy he finally agreed.
“Yes. Yes. Let’s!”
He didn’t say another word and instead carried me to our bed. This time, I didn’t complain and held on to him tighter.
“Where are you going?” I asked after he put me down on the mattress and moved away.
“To take a shower.”
“Oh.” I smiled at him.
I didn’t like how he avoided my stare again.
“Daniel?”
“What is it?” He half turned to face me.
“I love you.”
Not saying anything in response, all he did was smile. A small, tired smile that didn’t even reach his eyes.