23. SQUALO
SQUALO
Iwoke up in the middle of the night. She was sleeping peacefully beside me. The floor had left my back stiff, and as soon as I sat up, I had to round my shoulders, pressing a hand against the spot that hurt the most.
I got to my feet and quietly paced the room, careful not to wake her up. Normally, I’d get up for a smoke, but there were no cigarettes, and the nicotine cravings gnawed at me. I grabbed a bottle of water and slipped outside, easing the door shut behind me so she wouldn’t wake.
I sat in front of the lighthouse and looked up at the stars.
Nothing surrounded us but the endless horizon.
I sighed, unscrewed the bottle, and took a sip.
Since when has life become this simple? There were no contracts waiting to be signed, no companies demanding my attention.
I was detoxing from the alcohol, from the women, from everything that had consumed me.
There were no fake friends hanging around for my money.
My father wasn’t here. For the first time in a long while, I felt at peace.
In the rush of everyday life, we forget what it really means to live, and how much simpler everything once was. I couldn’t wrap my head around how people had lived with so little and still found happiness, while we kept taking more and more, never giving anything back.
I let out a slow breath, worn out from the day. Reaching into my back pocket, I pulled out her letter. It felt like the right moment to read it, to finally put the past to rest and leave it where it belonged. I unfolded the wrinkled paper and stared at the blurred handwriting.
“Dear Olly,
I know you probably think this is childish, leaving letters in your locker, but there are a few things I wanted to tell you. You won’t even look at me anymore, and I know you hate me for some reason, but I just wanted to say goodbye.
I’ve realized everyone hates me, and no one wants to be my friend.
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I died, and whether anyone would cry.
Sometimes I wish the Doctor Who we always watched would show up in his TARDIS and take me away, but maybe that’s something I have to do myself, because he isn’t real.
I hope one day you’ll remember me and think about us before your mum died, because I liked that Olly better. I wish we could still be friends. I wish you’d talk to me, because I miss you.
Mom says having Gianni is enough, but deep down, I think she hates me too.
Bye, Olly.
I hope one day after I am gone you’ll hate me a little less.”
A tear rolled down my cheek as I crushed the letter in my fist. The memory of her in that oversized hoodie a week later slammed into me, and I finally realized what she’d been trying to do. Just six years after my mum.
My chest tightened until it hurt. My whole world seemed to cave in as I wiped the tear away, dragging my palm across my face.
“Fuck,” I muttered, leaning back against the wall.
I never saw the signs.
I hated myself for all the times I’d hurt her, for helping push her deeper into that darkness. I threw her away over stupid reasons while she was completely alone. I even told everyone not to hang out with her because she was a liar.
I was the reason she never had friends.
And if she’d gone through with it, I would never have forgiven myself.
That’s the thing. You never realize what someone is carrying until it’s almost too late.
Then, when they’re gone, all that’s left are the questions.
What could I have done? What if I’d stayed?
What if I’d listened? You drown in your own tears because you stood safely on the shore while they were drowning, watching them fight to keep their head above the water, convincing yourself they’d be fine.
They reached out, silently begging for someone to pull them back, and no one did a damn thing.
That was me.
The person I used to be.
“Fuck,” I gasped again.
A sound behind me pulled me from my thoughts.
She was still here.
And this… this was my chance. To hold her. To tell her she wasn’t alone. To be there before it was too late.
The door creaked open.
She stood in the doorway, balancing on one foot while the other hovered in the air, wrapped in bandages.
“Olly?” She rubbed her eyes, steadying herself against the doorframe. “What are you doing out here?”
“Nothing,” I said, pushing myself off the wall and walking over to her.
Before she could protest, I slipped an arm beneath her knees and lifted her into my arms.
“And why aren’t you sleeping?” I asked.
“I woke up and you weren’t here,” she whispered, burying her face against my chest. “Now I can’t sleep.”
I carried her over to the table. With one hand, I swept the papers aside and sat her on the edge. Then I pulled over a chair and gently rested her injured foot on it.
I took her hand and searched for the scars from 1996.
There were two.
One on each side of her wrist.
My thumb traced lightly over one of them.
“Don’t,” she whispered. “Those don’t come with a pretty story.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked, holding her gaze.
“I did,” she swallowed. “You just didn’t care.”
I reached into my pocket, pulled out the letter, and placed it in her hands.
“I kept this all these years, thinking it was just some letter where you confessed you had a crush on me or something. I only read it tonight.”
A tear slipped down her cheek.
“Don’t.”
“I’m sorry.” I brushed the tear away with my thumb. “I’m so, so sorry, Blue.”
I pulled her closer.
“I was such an idiot.”
She bit her lip, her eyes dropping from mine.
“Talk to me,” I whispered. “Scream at me if you have to.”
“I screamed a long time ago, but no one heard me,” she said quietly. “It’s too late for those conversations. I’d like nothing more than to leave all of that behind.”
“Okay,” I swallowed. “Okay.”
I brought my face close to hers, my eyes tracing over her mouth as though it were the first time.
A blush warmed her cheeks as she bit her lower lip, her gaze lifting to meet mine.
In the blink of an eye, I closed the space between us, my hand wrapping around her throat as I pulled her against me.
Tilting her chin, I claimed her mouth, my tongue hungrily exploring hers.
She stole the air from my lungs, leaving me breathless as I drank in her scent like it was the only thing keeping me alive.
“Do you want me, Blue?” I gasped against her lips.
“I’ve always wanted you,” she whispered, her eyes slipping shut.
“Then let me take you,” I whispered back.
I lifted her into my arms and carried her to the metal staircase, lowering her onto it carefully.
My lips crashed into hers again, consuming every kiss as my tongue searched her mouth.
Without breaking our kiss, I slowly unbuttoned her white shirt, sliding it from her shoulders before letting it fall to the floor.
I left her lips and trailed slow kisses down her neck to her breasts.
Cupping them in my hands, I squeezed gently, lifting them as my tongue brushed over one nipple before taking it into my mouth and sucking slowly.
My hands drifted to her hips, easing her thong down her legs before tossing it aside.
I lifted her left leg, pressing a kiss to her thigh as I guided her foot through the gap between the bars of the railing on my left.
Then I moved to her right, carefully lifting her injured leg and positioning it between the iron bars on the other side, leaving her stretched out before me, completely bare.
She lay spread across the staircase, her pussy spread open and exposed before me.
She locked her eyes with mine, gripping the iron bars while her ass rested against the cold metal steps, keeping herself from slipping down.
“I’m thirsty,” she said quietly.
I stepped away from her and crossed to the kitchen counter, grabbing a bottle of water. My gaze lingered on her, spread across the metal staircase, before I slowly unbuttoned my shirt. And with a bottle in my hand, I made my way back to her.
“Open your mouth,” I murmured.
I twisted the cap off, took a sip of water, and leaned over her.
My hands landed on either side of her head, caging her in as my face hovered above hers.
She parted her lips, and I let the water spill from my mouth into hers.
The moment she swallowed, I captured her lips in a hungry kiss, stealing every breath she tried to take.
“Let me erase every bad memory from your life,” I whispered.
My face buried itself in the curve of her neck, nuzzling against her skin before grazing it lightly with my teeth, drawing a soft moan from her lips.
My hand slid from her knee, traveling slowly along the inside of her thigh until it found her pussy.
My fingertips circled her clit with gentle, slow strokes before slipping lower, gathering her wetness and spreading it back over her clit.
At the same time, my kisses wandered across her chest to her breasts.
I took one nipple into my mouth again, teasing it with my teeth before sucking slowly, another helpless moan escaping her.
I took a step back, unbuttoning my trousers before pushing them, along with my boxers, down to the floor. My eight-inch cock was already hard, twitching in need, ready to claim her.
I leaned over her, wrapping my hand around the length of my cock as I lowered myself between her legs.
I teased her with the tip, circling her clit before gliding slowly down her slick folds.
I lingered at her entrance for a heartbeat, then pushed inside her in one smooth motion, drawing a sharp cry from her lips.
My hand locked around her neck, holding her still as I pulled out and drove back inside her again.
“You like that?” I asked, leaning lower over her.
Her brows arched, her eyes fluttering closed as her mouth parted.
My other hand slipped beneath her back, arching her body as she took every inch of me.
I lifted her left leg and drew it over my shoulder, letting her settle against me while I drove into her harder.
My palm pressed against her lower stomach, pinning her in place as my cock thrust faster.
Her eyes rolled back as she felt me deeper, every stroke dragging along her inner walls.
I lifted her right leg onto my shoulder, and when I pressed her thighs together.
I picked up the pace, harder this time. She clung to the railing, her grip so tight her skin turned white, while her full breasts bounced with every thrust. I leaned over her, bracing one knee on the step before drawing her thighs closer to her chest, stretching her further.
“Beg me to stop,” I growled. “Because I swear I’ll destroy this pussy of yours tonight.”
“I can’t,” she moaned. “You feel too good to stop.”
I silenced her with my mouth, claiming her lips as my tongue slipped between them and tangled with hers.
She took my throbbing cock just as I’d taught her to, every movement drawing another breathless sound from her.
My hands cradled the base of her neck, holding her close as I drove into her a few more times.
Then I stepped back and pulled free.
“Turn around,” I commanded, guiding her as she slowly obeyed.
Her knees settled onto the metal step, one on either side of the staircase, and I lifted each of her legs, threading them between the iron bars to keep her in place. She reached through the gap in the step to steady herself, hugging the metal while lowering her face against it.
I spread her ass and knelt behind her.
“You have no idea how badly I want to taste this pussy of yours,” I growled as I lowered my face.
My fingers dug into the soft flesh of her ass, spreading her open before I buried my tongue between her folds.
I licked her twice, slowly, then caught her entrance gently between my teeth before moving higher, sucking her clit and dragging my tongue over it again.
Two fingers slid inside her, thrusting slowly before curling against her inner walls. I worked them back and forth while my tongue circled her clit, licking, teasing, then drawing it into my mouth until her whole body shivered beneath my touch.
“Oliver,” she moaned. “I need you inside me. Please.”
“Not yet, baby,” I growled against her sensitive flesh. “I want you screaming first.”
I pulled my fingers free, only to slide them back inside as another moan spilled from her lips.
This time I curled them, finding the spot that made her body jolt while my tongue continued its slow, relentless work.
Her knees trembled. Her grip on the metal steps tightened, just as her walls tightened around my fingers.
I knew she was close, but I wanted her soaking my face before I fucked her so hard she had no room to think about anything except me.
I kept the same rhythm, rocking my fingertips against that spot while the rest of my hand held her steady.
She was so tight I barely had to move, yet every slow curl drew another breathless moan from her.
I grazed my teeth over her clit before taking it back into my mouth, eating her as her thighs began to shake.
When I felt that tightness building into something more, I slipped my fingers free and dragged my tongue through her folds just as she came, soaking my mouth.
“Fuck, baby,” I growled against her skin, diving back in. “You’ve got my face dripping, and you still haven’t satisfied my thirst.”
She moaned again, her knees barely able to hold her up, but I didn’t let up. My fingers found her again while my tongue circled her clit, drawing another broken cry from her.
“I… can’t.”
She begged me to stop, but I’d made her a promise.
I wasn’t done with her yet.
I pulled my fingers free and straightened up, planting one foot on the metal step before driving the full length of my cock back inside her. My hands locked around her hips, pulling her against me until the lighthouse echoed with the sharp slap of our bodies and her breathless moans.
I groaned, my head tipping back as I buried myself in her tight pussy, my cock throbbing while she took every inch of me.
“Fuck, Gabby,” I moaned, gripping her trembling thighs. I spread them a little wider before sliding my hands up to her ass, parting her cheeks as I thrust into her again. Her walls clung to me so tightly they seemed to pull me deeper, gripping me until I could barely move.
The pressure coiled low in my stomach, tightening with every heartbeat until I couldn’t hold back any longer.
I pulled out and came across her back, each pulse drawing another groan from my lips.
I brushed the tip of my cock against her back entrance, pressing forward just enough to make her cry out before I pulled away.
“Fuck,” I groaned, giving each of her ass cheeks a sharp slap as her thighs continued to tremble beneath me. “You, Blue,are going to be the end of me.”