Chapter 5
FIVE
JESSE
Ibury my face against the best pillow in the world.
God, why does the sun have to be so damn bright when all I want is to sink into this perfect warmth that smells of fresh laundry and something else I can’t put my finger on?
I press myself harder against my pillow, humming happily when its arms pull me in tighter.
Wait. What?
My heart speeds up as my eyes fly open, and I have to squint against the blinding light that pours from the window. A window that is not mine.
My fingers clasp the warm, black T-shirt beneath my palm as my eyes lift and lock with Roman’s.
What—
“Hey,” he rasps out, the sound making his chest vibrate where I’m touching him.
“Hey.” I blink, taking in Roman’s rumpled, black hair, his still heavy-with-sleep eyes and well-rested face, and trying to make my brain work. “What am I doing here?”
His gaze bores into mine and strangely, it’s the moment I realize just how close we actually are, so close that I can see every streak of dark brown in his eyes.
“You came here last night while you were asleep.”
His words bring every other thought to a screeching halt.
“I did?” I manage to whisper, feeling my breathing becoming shallower and shallower.
I force myself to try and remember anything about last night, but there’s nothing. I fell asleep in my room, just like every other night.
Roman nods slowly and it’s all the confirmation I need.
No, not again.
I was okay. It was supposed to be over. Why? Why now? Why again?
I don’t even realize I’m speaking the words out loud, until I feel a warm touch on my cheek.
“Jesse, breathe for me.” Roman’s voice reaches me as if from far away, drawing my attention back to him, and back to where we are. “Are you okay?”
Embarrassment floods me at what this all must look like to him—climbing into his bed in the middle of the night, waking up with no recollection, almost having a fucking panic attack.
Pressing my lips together, I give him a quick nod, trying to look anywhere but at him, which is damn near impossible when we’re practically glued to one another.
“I’m okay,” I tell him, even managing to flash him a small smile while I try to find a way to subtly disentangle myself from him. “It’s all good. I’m sorry for worrying you and for putting you through all this. I promise you it won’t happen again.”
I let Roman’s T-shirt go, missing the warmth immediately, but just as I’m about to sit up, the arm that’s still wrapped around my back pulls me back in in a move that makes my breath hitch and my eyes fly up to his.
To a blazing darkness.
“Don’t hide from me.” And it’s the subtle plea behind his gentle but firm words that finally makes my heartbeat settle and my body slowly sag once more against his.
“Okay.”
Roman’s hand drops from my face but his eyes never stop peering into mine.
“Has this happened before?”
I sigh, letting all the tension drain from my body.
“Yes. I started sleepwalking when I was little. It took some time, but eventually it stopped. I guess all the insomnia, the changes, the new school, triggered it again,” I mumble. “But I really am okay, Roman,” I rush to reassure him, feeling how stiff he still is.
Out of concern for me?
For a moment, nothing happens, but I smile when he finally relaxes.
“I hope I didn’t bother you too much.”
His lips twitch. “Nah. You slept like the dead through the whole night.”
Huh. No wonder I feel so rested. I stretch my hands above my head, and I actually think I haven’t slept this well in ages.
“Mmm, it feels like it. Only problem is that now the last thing I want is to get up and go to school.”
“Yeah, about that?” Roman starts, shooting me a wry half-grin.
Uh oh.
“What?”
“It’s already past ten in the morning.”
I only manage to blink owlishly at him for several seconds, before I’m sitting up like I’ve been electrocuted.
“WHAT?”
Roman is full-on shaking from laughter now as if I’m fucking amusing to him, doing nothing but leaning back with his hands behind his head.
“I’m sorry, is this funny to you?” I arch an eyebrow at him.
“Extremely. Come here.”
I blink some more. Apparently, it’s all I can do today.
“Excuse me?”
He’s no longer laughing, but his dark eyes are still dancing with amusement.
“Come. Here.”
My chest does that weird thing I can’t explain, but I lie back down next to him, while he throws the covers back over us. I can’t help the stuttering breath that escapes me when he casually slips his arm around me again. Or noticing how good it feels.
“We’re not going to school today,” he whispers in the space that separates us.
“We’re not?”
He shakes his head, his hand coming up to play with a lock of my hair that has fallen in front of my face.
“You are resting today, Jesse. No school, no stress, no nothing. I already let your mom know before she left for work.”
I… I don’t know what to say. I can only look at him, at this guy who’s always glaring at everyone while he waits for me to drive us back home, but whose eyes always soften when they find me in the crowd.
Warm. He makes me feel warm.
“And I suppose you’ll stay to keep me company?” I bite the inside of my cheek to smother my smile.
“Yes, I am magnanimous like that.”
I laugh then, because it’s impossible not to when I feel this light.
“Of course. I’m sure it has nothing to do with the chance to skip school.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
My cheeks hurt from smiling too hard, and there is a sparkle in Roman’s eyes that I don’t get to see very often. Like he’s happy.
“Milk and chocolate cereal?” he mutters, tucking the lock of hair he was playing with behind my ear.
I nod and follow after him as he climbs out of the bed.
I don’t even realize that any lingering heaviness from earlier is now gone.
Or that Roman let me sleep in his arms all night long.