Chapter 13 #2
“What are you two? Lovers?” Jeff lifted his brows.
Scoffing a laugh, I said, “No, we’re just friends.
I’m straight.” I pointed at my chest with my thumb.
Fucking hell. “I met him in a bar a few weeks ago and he needed some exercises to help with his back pain, so…” I sounded stupid.
“He played at a charity event I was at.” More stupid. “Anyway, we sort of hit it off.”
His eyes narrowed as he sipped his water. “Yeah, okay.”
“Anyway, can you, uh, just remain here briefly while I check on him?” I wrung my hands and then jogged down the hallway and into Ronan’s room.
Ronan sat on the end of the bed, petting Bean in his lap, his head hanging and shoulders crumpled.
“Hey, are you okay?” This was a fucking mess. How could I help him? “Babe.” I sat beside him, hooking my arms around his shoulders and pulling him into my chest. My eyes popped open. Holy fuck, I’d called him babe.
With a sniffle, he said, “I’m not okay. I’m fucking terrible. What am I supposed to do with this?” As he raised his head, his gaze bolted on mine, his eyes red and wet, the trails of tears glistening on his cheeks. “Who the fuck does shit like this?”
I palmed the back of his head. “I-I don’t know. But I can’t imagine he’d lie to you about something so serious.” This was a lot to deal with. I’d only just met Ronan. If only I knew him better, knew his history with his father better. Or had any experience with this sort of family dynamic.
He grimaced and swiped his cheeks. “But he’s done shit like this before. How can I trust him?”
“You can’t. Not yet.” Hell, Colton had felt abandoned by his father, Ronan had too, so this was similar. But therapy had helped Colton reconnect. “If he’s open to it, maybe you could get therapy with him?”
“What?” He scoffed. “Listen, Evan, I know you mean well, but I’m not sure it would be worth it.” He skimmed his hand down Bean’s back. “Given my schedule and how long his visit here is, I don’t see how that could work.”
“Okay, well, how about you start by talking to him?” Again, Colton’s situation popped up in my brain.
He’d lost his mother to cancer. He’d been with her through the worst of it, and it had almost killed him.
But I knew he never regretted a moment of taking care of her, and he’d cherished the time spent with her.
I grabbed Ronan’s hand. “Listen, if you don’t give him a chance and he dies, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. ” That much, I knew.
His eyes grew glossy. “I should have been there for my mom. Fuck.” With his breath hitching, he spat out, “I should have thrown fucking Larry out on his ass that night at the gig and kidnapped my mother. I should have taken her away from him.”
Holy fucking hell. Now I was hearing the real him. Not the hardened version where he resented his mother so much that he’d missed her funeral. He had a lot of guilt inside him. With my brows wrinkling, I said, “Ronan, please, just hear him out.” I hoped I wasn’t wrong about this.
“Yeah, fine.” He set Bean on the floor, stood and straightened his shoulders, taking a deep inhale. “Let’s do this.”
There he was, the man who commanded the stage. It was uncanny how his personality could change in a second. Scary even, but he’d never directed it toward me. “Hey, he asked if I was your lover.” Did it matter though?
“He did, huh?” He tugged his black t-shirt over his jeans. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure he thinks we’re only friends.” He stomped out of the room with Bean trotting along behind him.
“Shit.” I probably should have kept that last part to myself. I strolled into the main room in time to watch Ronan pick up his water bottle and return to his chair.
“So, you have cancer. What are you doing here, then?” Schooling his features, he focused on Jeff.
“I was here to see a doctor. This man offers a treatment that could extend my life.” He sipped his water. “I have a friend who lives here now, a guy I met in rehab. He’s letting me stay with him while I figure this out.”
“Okay.” When Ronan glanced at me, his gaze softened for a second. “How long will you be here?”
“That depends.” He pursed his lips.
“On what?” Ronan lifted his chin.
“On the condition that I’m accepted for the treatment and if you’re open to establishing a relationship with me.” He shifted to the edge of the couch. “Son, I’m really sorry about the past. I can’t change it. But I can change the future.”
Ronan swallowed hard and gripped his water bottle so tightly it crackled. “What would that look like? Our establishing a relationship?”
With his gaze dipping to Bean, Jeff said, “Spending time together? I don’t know. We could have dinner, maybe?” The corner of his mouth twitched. “Are you able to go out much? Do you need security?”
“No, not around here.” Ronan wove a shaky hand through his long bangs. “When I go out to the nicer places, I’m not bothered too much.” He snuck a peek at me. “I-I’m working on songs for the next album through, and then we’ll be in the studio.”
“But you need to eat.” Jeff set his bottle on the table next to the couch. “We could meet for dinner a few times a week, maybe?” He huffed. “I just want to talk with you, to get to know you. I’m not asking for much.”
“Yeah, fine.” As his chest rose with a heavy inhale, Ronan nodded. “I suppose a few dinners would be okay.” He flashed a sad grin at me. “We’ll work something out.”
“Okay.” Jeff eased back into the couch. “You two seem close.” Loosely crossing his legs, he grabbed his water and drank.
“Yeah, we’ve become friends. He, uh…” Ronan lifted a brow at me.
“I’m helping him with his home gym. He needed some new equipment.” I cringed inside. I wasn’t sure Jeff was buying this. “Playing hockey, I know the best trainers and workout routines.”
“So you implied earlier.” Jeff smirked at me.
“Jeff, what treatment did the doctor suggest for you?” Ronan peered at Jeff.
“It’s immunotherapy where they use light.” Jeff let out a soft chuckle. “My knowledge about it is still limited. First, they’ll test me to see if I’m a suitable candidate.”
“Okay.” Ronan pressed his lips together. “When can we have our first dinner together?”
With a quick glance at me, Jeff said, “You tell me. I’m available any evening.” The corner of his lips curled. “You’re the one with a social calendar.”
“Okay. How about I text you when I know I’ll be free?” Ronan gave me a sideways look. “And we’ll take it from there.”
“Sure.” With a sigh, Jeff rose and patted the front pocket of his jeans. “I guess I should go now, since you already have company.” He fished keys out of his pocket.
“Yes, we’ll be in touch.” Ronan stood. “I’ll walk you to the door.”
I followed Ronan and Jeff to the door and then shook Jeff’s hand as he stepped onto the entry. “It was nice to meet you, Jeff.” What would happen once he left, and Ronan’s tough persona crumbled?
“Son?” With a grin, Jeff held his arm out as if wanting a hug.
Raising his chin, Ronan grabbed his hand and shook it. “I’ll text.”
Jeff’s grin faded. “Okay then. I look forward to it.” He twisted around and strode off toward an older Chevy sedan parked in the driveway.
Ronan shut the door and leaned his back against it, placing his hands over his face. “Fucking hell.”
“Hey.” I could only imagine the turmoil inside him. Sliding my arms around his shoulders, I drew him closer and kissed the side of his head. “It’s okay. I’m here.”
He melted against me, wrapping his arms around my waist. “I’m so fucking confused.”
“Yeah, I understand.” How could I help him? “Do you want that bourbon now? I’m a good listener.”
He lifted his head, his gaze finding mine. “You’ll stay with me tonight still?” He creased his forehead. “I might not be great company—”
“I’m staying. Like I said, I have to rise early for a morning skate with the team, but I refuse to leave you.
” He should probably call Drew, too. He might help calm him down and probably understood what I didn’t.
“How about I make you a bourbon and you give Drew a call?” I searched his face. “Has he met your father?”
“Yes, he’s met him.” He nodded. “I think speaking to Drew is a good idea.” Dropping his arms, he strolled into the main room.
Hell, I could use a bourbon after this, too. “Meet me on the patio.” I strode to his bar, poured two bourbons into short glasses and brought them to him as he dropped onto the patio sofa.
Bean circled the yard and then sniffed at the base of the mesquite tree.
“Here.” I handed him a glass and sat beside him. “Do you want to call Drew now?”
“Yeah.” After slipping his phone from his jeans pocket, he called Drew.
“Hey, Drew, you’ll never guess who paid me a visit.
” He winced. “Jeff. Call me.” He ended the call.
“Drew’s not picking up,” he said, tapping his phone.
“He knows you were coming over today, so he’s probably out doing…
Hell, whatever he does when he’s not with me.
” With a soft chuckle, he set his phone down and sipped his bourbon.
“Would you like ten drinks now?” As a smirk tugged at my lips, I drank some of the liquor. Would he want to get drunk? I probably would. It wasn’t the best way to deal with stressful situations, but he probably needed to numb himself.
“Maybe.” Lifting his glass and twisting it, he said, “Thank you, Evan, for sticking with me through this.” His gaze shifted to mine. “You didn’t have to. Some guys might have run.”
Squeezing his thigh, I said, “I’m not a guy who runs from shit. I’m a fucking hockey player. When shit gets tough, I dive right into the middle of it.” I gave him my best grin. He’d had the most important people in his life abandon him, so no wonder he thought I might run.
Leaning against my side, he rested his head on my shoulder. “I really don’t know what to think. I’m not sure I trust a word that came out of Jeff’s mouth.”
“Ronan, do you really think he’d lie about having a terminal illness?” To me, Jeff’s reason for being here made sense. I sipped more bourbon, enjoying the warmth of Ronan’s body so close to mine.
“I don’t know. Maybe I just don’t trust him. Not after our history.” He placed a hand on my thigh. “Anyway, thank you for being here.”
I’d held Ronan all night, comforting him as best as I could after the encounter with his father.
We’d ordered Chinese food, since he didn’t feel like cooking, and watched a movie before going to bed earlier than the night before.
After rising before dawn for my morning skate, I’d stopped off at my apartment to gather my things and headed to the practice facility in North Scottsdale, the Ice Den.
On the drive, my phone rang, and I answered it, the call connecting to the speakers in my Jeep. Was it Ronan? I’d left him sleeping. “Hello?”
“Evan? What are you doing?” Dad asked.
Shit. “I’m heading to my morning skate with the Coyotes.” This was an early call. I drove onto the freeway and merged into the traffic. The sun had just risen, turning the splash of clouds into pinkish hues.
“I called yesterday, and you didn’t get back to me. Where were you?”
“Uh…” Shit, he’d called? I hadn’t seen a notification. But then, Ronan’s situation had consumed me. I changed lanes on the freeway. “Sorry, Dad. I guess I was preoccupied.”
“With what?” he asked.
What could I tell him? “Uh, with um, I had dinner with Lucas, and we watched some game footage to prepare for the next series.” I winced. It was a bald-faced lie, but would keep him off my back. Hell, I probably should have been doing that. Except…Ronan.
“Oh, that’s good. I’ve heard some rumors about Benson getting traded. Did you hear anything yesterday at practice?”
My gut tensed. Fucking hell, I couldn’t tell him I hadn’t been there. “Uh, no, Dad. I’ve heard nothing about it.” Gripping my steering wheel tighter, I exited the freeway. I was almost at the rink.
“Yes, well, I assumed you’d know something. If they trade him, I’m sure they’ll ask you to return next season.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck. I should have been there yesterday. Skipping practices, optional or not, wasn’t a good idea for someone in my position. “Yeah, I’ll ask around today and see.” I turned onto the boulevard, the rink rising between buildings.
“Call me when you hear something, okay? And…I’m proud of you, son.” He chuckled.
“Thanks, Dad.” How proud of me would he be if he knew I’d been fucking around with Ronan instead of attending practice? I had to do better. I turned into the parking lot. “Hey, I’m at the rink. I’ve gotta go.”
“Okay. Have a great practice, and I’ll speak with you soon.”
“Sure. Talk soon. Love you.” I parked my Jeep.
“Love you, too. Bye.” He ended the call.
“Fuck.” I rested my forehead on the steering wheel. Here I was, caught up in a relationship when all my attention should be on my hockey career. But I had to support Ronan right now. He needed me.